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Thread: Can I have my hand back please?

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    Talking Can I have my hand back please?

    Thumbs.

    Always a sticking point with beginners but what do when someone is gripping you for dear life and you don't want to run the risk of offending or upsetting them by highlighting a seemingly minor detail in their minds.

    I tend to restrict what they have available to grab, by offering and leading with say just my index finger, retracting the other fingers so they can't be grabbed. I know I shouldn't do this and should just say outright but can't bring myself to do it in most cases.

    What do you do in such an occasion?
    Last edited by Steven666; 17th-October-2007 at 02:01 PM.

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    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    As a follow, I have no option - lift that thumb. Sorry, my comfort and safety is far more important than causing offence.

    I do usually follow up, if possible, by explaining the reasons for a light grip (by showing how easy it is to return me with the right grip).

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post
    I know I shouldn't do this and should just say outright but can't bring myself to do it in most cases.
    Why shouldn't you do this ? If I have troubles with grabbing I give them less to grab onto, its not what they should be concentrating on. I think the LAST thing you should be doing is talking to them verbally, talk to them by touch at all times

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post
    Thumbs.

    Always a sticking point with beginners but what do when someone is gripping you for dear life and you don't want to run the risk of offending or upsetting them by highlighting a seemingly minor detail in their minds.

    I tend to restrict what they have available to grab, by offering and leading with say just my index finger, retracting the other fingers so they can't be grabbed. I know I shouldn't do this and should just say outright but can't bring myself to do it in most cases.

    What do you do in such an occasion?
    I dance with beginners every week, and I never have that problem. [heretic] I hold their hand. [/heretic]

    If I am holding their hand, they do not have to hold mine. I know when to release my grip. (It is however a sin of mine that I too often hold the hand of non-beginners. )

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    Registered User Balders1973's Avatar
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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    For me the easist option is to explain they are limiting the moves available by holding on.
    After that, a cheeky nod at the hand is usualy enough if the follow does it again.

    From my experience, people are more appreciative when told. No-one wants to be doing the wrong thing and unaware of it.

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post
    I tend to restrict what they have available to grab, by offering and leading with say just my index finger, retracting the other fingers so they can't be grabbed. I know I shouldn't do this and should just say outright but can't bring myself to do it in most cases.
    Nothing wrong with that - fingertip leading is a perfectly acceptable alternative, especially in those circumstances.

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    oh right i see...well, if they refuse to let go at all, I simply lick the back of their hand

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    oh right i see...well, if they refuse to let go at all, I simply lick the back of their hand
    *eek*
    "If you rebel against high heels, take care to do so in a very smart hat.'' George Bernard Shaw

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    Ceroc N.I. Franchise Owner drathzel's Avatar
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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    oh right i see...well, if they refuse to let go at all, I simply lick the back of their hand
    thati cansee you doing

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post
    What do when someone is gripping you for dear life and you don't want to run the risk of offending or upsetting them by highlighting a seemingly minor detail in their minds.
    I always want to run the risk of offending or upsetting them. Preferably both.

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    oh right i see...well, if they refuse to let go at all, I simply lick the back of their hand
    I didn't realise that was a signal to say that you're holding on too tight.

    I'd better stop doing it.

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post
    Thumbs.

    Always a sticking point with beginners but what do when someone is gripping you for dear life and you don't want to run the risk of offending or upsetting them by highlighting a seemingly minor detail in their minds.
    If it's very bad, I risk offending them. They don't appear to be offended though. But I would prefer the teachers and taxi dancers to teach the grippers how to avoid it.

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    I really don't have this problem. Perhaps you're scaring them

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    I really don't have this problem. Perhaps you're scaring them
    Or you don't dance with enought first timers.

    (had to be done)

    I might say something in future. It's annoying me too much now.

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post
    Or you don't dance with enought first timers.


    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post
    I might say something in future. It's annoying me too much now.
    My advice is to leave the teaching to the teachers. If, with your current skill level, you can not dance with beginners in a way that helps them and protects you from harm you should avoid dancing with beginners. If you criticise their dancing they might not return. If you really want to help a beginner, point them out to one of the teachers or taxi dancers and suggest they offer some coaching. You being annoyed should not become a problem for beginners.

    Step away from the beginner.

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    My advice is to leave the teaching to the teachers. If, with your current skill level, you can not dance with beginners in a way that helps them and protects you from harm you should avoid dancing with beginners. If you criticise their dancing they might not return. If you really want to help a beginner, point them out to one of the teachers or taxi dancers and suggest they offer some coaching. You being annoyed should not become a problem for beginners.

    Step away from the beginner.
    Getting more subtle every second. (3P1C PH41L)

    If someone grips you then they grip you. As I said in the OP I reduce what they have to grip but even just offering one finger can be hazzardous to a gripper unless they are specifically told to stop doing it. It's not a wide spread problem with every beginners. It just a bit apparant.

    Yet I'm glad the teach last night talked about gripping giving it more empthasis than usual. Normally it is mentioned right at the start in a one liner that is just ignored or forgotten about.

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    Commercial Operator Gus's Avatar
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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post


    My advice is to leave the teaching to the teachers. If, with your current skill level, you can not dance with beginners in a way that helps them and protects you from harm you should avoid dancing with beginners. If you criticise their dancing they might not return. If you really want to help a beginner, point them out to one of the teachers or taxi dancers and suggest they offer some coaching. You being annoyed should not become a problem for beginners.

    Step away from the beginner.
    And thus starts another thread ... if the beginners is gripping ... isn't that a symptom that the teacher isn't doing their job properly and then don't the 'experienced' dancers have to step in to make up for that lack of teaching ability?

    Waits for the McG to bite

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    Step away from the beginner.
    Some of the most useful things I've ever learnt whilst doing Ceroc (and other dances), I've learnt when being told by more experienced dancers. If they had all followed that advice, then I would be a far worse dancer than I am now.

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    Quote Originally Posted by geoff332 View Post
    Some of the most useful things I've ever learnt whilst doing Ceroc (and other dances), I've learnt when being told by more experienced dancers. If they had all followed that advice, then I would be a far worse dancer than I am now.

    I think he was just being sarcastic at me.

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    Re: Can I have my hand back please?

    "Step away from the beginner."

    Surely if we all took that advice, we'd all be ex-cerocers?

    Where I learned to ceroc, we were actively encouraged to dance with beginners. Are there regional differences of opinion on how beginners should progress?

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