Gender Balancing Rant!!!

[Dreadful Scathe]

The men who come along to Ceroc because they are lured there by feminine wiles, or who like the ratio of women to men, don’t stay. They are simply “on the pull.”

While that may be true, it just accounts for "some" men; the exact percentage varying, i imagine, for every single venue.

The women who have introduced men to Ceroc, for the most part, have dragged their partners along, and with a little luck, the partners got hooked. Or couples have dragged along friends, who soon did not need dragging. Women also may bring along female friends, because it isn’t a cattle market.

So you've only missed females who bring along male friends. Women do occasionaly have friends of the opposite sex

As several people have pointed out, we still bring up our kids to think dancing is O.K. for women, but un-cool for men.

We do ? We certainly had dancing at school in Scotland and I was not aware of this "un-cool-ness". Certainly in nightclubs when i was younger, rather than scary conversation, my entire chat-up repertoire was "do you want a dance". And nowadays you have a lot of dance programs do bring dance to the masses, is it cooler now that it used to be?

and perhaps begin to understand women,

Now you're just taking the pi55

[Andy McGregor]

, my entire chat-up repertoire was "do you want a dance".

I relied on punctuation. My line was "Dance?" Unfortunately theirs was often "No!" So much misery in a two word conversation

[Isis]

A bad experience at nursery school left me unable to chat up anyone ever!

On my first day, the children were all sitting in a circle. I sat beside a little boy, gave him my nicest smile and said 'hello'

He poked me in the eye

I'm still traumatised

[Lynn]

So you've only missed females who bring along male friends. Women do occasionaly have friends of the opposite sex

That's what I've done. Off the top of my head there are about 7-8 male friends I've brought along - and I mean those who have stuck with it and are along weekly and love it, have now done weekenders etc. One of those then brought along another 3 friends who are also regulars.

Most of them I didn't just ask once. I kept mentioning it to them, I think some maybe came along just so I'd stop talking about it.

I don't think I have any male friends that I haven't tried inviting along to Ceroc!

[JCB]

I do not have a problem with men (or women, for that matter) going to Ceroc with the purpose of meeting someone of the opposite gender with a shared interest in dance, in the hope it will lead to more. I do have a problem with men (or women, for that matter) going to Ceroc with the purpose of meeting someone of the opposite gender, in the hope it will lead to more, for whom the dance lesson is a bleeping inconvenience!

While that may be true, it just accounts for "some" men; the exact percentage varying, i imagine, for every single venue.

I was in a very grumpy mood when I wrote those postings: No dancing for nearly two weeks! ... and then I saw:

Why should I try when there's purpose built man attractors who are so much better suited to the job

...and it brought to mind a a venue, from when we first started dancing. There were three guys (not a significant percentage, granted) who were only paying close attention to the instructor when he said "x ladies on", so they could work out if that cute young blonde would end up with them on the next rotation. And to be honest, although I haven't seen them since, I don't know for certain whether they continued , so I am guilty of some ungenerous wishful thinking there. We haven't been back lately, but I don't suppose that venue was aimed at us, as punters.

Women do occasionaly have friends of the opposite sex

It has been so long now that I have been gainlessly employed, I do forget some people have a life. (although I bump into fellow dog-walkers now and again; does that count?)

...to avoid the "pounced-on / 3-rows-deep / can't get a break situation"

So, if guys can't follow Lynn's example, perhaps they could have a little moan to their friends, the next time an evening is marred, as David James describes?

We certainly had dancing at school in Scotland ...

...not here in sunny Bucks! This part drives me crazy! My sons were quite happy attending dance class when they were younger, but when the teenage years arrived, it was first too uncool to mention to friends, then ditched for football, tennis and cricket. No dance lessons for the general population at their school, and it is supposed to specialize in the performing arts! I found an MJ instructor willing to provide lessons gratis, and I can't even find some-one at the school willing to discuss options. I have relented on my telephone nagging campaign for now (other priorities). Has anyone out there had any success in a similar endeavour?

Certainly in nightclubs when i was younger, rather than scary conversation, my entire chat-up repertoire was "do you want a dance".

I guess I am just an unredeemable optimist (and now I am just taking the pi55 ) but I do believe that communication leads to better understanding. Dancing is a form of communication that bypasses the conventions of conversation, which can actually block communication. Go ahead, laugh, but martial arts are similar. I found I learned things about my opponent while sparring that led to a better understanding of each other, even though we might have known each other previously, and chatted regularly. I am probably not communicating very well now, and I don't suppose there is any way to avoid the brickbats that will come flying: duck and cover...again!