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Thread: What can i do to stop the thoughts!

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    What can i do to stop the thoughts!

    Im sure everybody remembers Jamie Bulger.

    Well a girlfriend of mine came round for coffee last night and we started discussing the Mccanns case. She all of a sudden mentioned Jamie bulger. I told her to not discuss it as it has a really bad effect on me and i would say its only the last 6 months that it has stopped coming into my brain at all odd times of the day. The feeling of pity and disgust and upset i have about that baby, takes me over an hour to stop each time it happens. I have never had anything upset me as much as this case did.

    Since it was mentioned again last night, it has started again. Twice i have had him come into my head and i dont know how to stop it.

    Im not mad by the way, im completely normal but what can i do to just stop it.

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    Re: What can i do to stop the thoughts!

    I think it might be a good idea to first of all sit down and "allow" yourself to think about the case in details. What about it that upsets you so, how it makes you feel when you think about. What sort of anxieties it gives you.
    When you have established all your thoughts and feelings surrounding the kidnap and death of James then write it all down.
    Next time the thought subject crops into your head, tell yourself that really there is no point in thinking about James, as you already know exactly how you feel about it.
    Then distract yourself by doing something that forces you to engage your brain and not "letting it slip back to James"
    Try putting on a CD and taking out the sleeze and sing along to the lyrics, if you read and sing, then you can't "think" at the same time.
    If there is someone in the house with you engage them in conversation etc

    Hope it makes sence, it's quite hard explaining in English for me

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    Re: What can i do to stop the thoughts!

    thanks Connie. I have thought about trying to read about it and facing it but i actually cant do it. I only know snippets of what happened and i think i could end up quite poorly if i ever did find out actually what happened.

    I will be enjoying myself having a laugh and BANG in he pops. I have to force myself to do something to stop thinking about him. Its the strangest thing ever and i had got over it till today.

    Im hoping it goes away cause the feeling it gives me is awful and takes a lot of strength to avoid crying in the middle of the office.

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    Re: What can i do to stop the thoughts!

    This is weird... if it helps at all, your not alone on this one....

    Shortly after Jamie's murder, my little one, (who was roughly the same age at the time) hid from me, in a shopping centre.

    He was only gone for probably 5 minutes but it was the longest five minutes of my life.. I was literally hysterical!

    The wierd bit is... I happened to share this story with limpy Tink only at few days ago, at Southport and it still manages to reduce me to a quivering wreck! I still feel sick and shed tears, everytime I think about it!
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    Re: What can i do to stop the thoughts!

    If you knew the half of what that boy went through before they finally dumped him on the railway line, you would have nightmares for the rest of your life.

    I don't remember how I came across it, but someone showed me the comprehensive file which was not made public about this case. It's disgusting and makes my blood boil.

    The boy's who did it are now living normal lives and have children of their own. I wish I knew where they lived.

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    Re: What can i do to stop the thoughts!

    thanks for the cuddles and reps gals.... it does help and the feeling has passed. I can deal with it at the moment. It will sneak up on me later or tommorow im sure when the emotion wells up again. I do not appear to be alone with this feeling which has made me feel better.

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    Re: What can i do to stop the thoughts!

    I used to work for the NSPCC and was exposed to many details of horrific cases. Once I had my first child I find the details of these cases even harder to handle and when B was born I had a real fear of people touching him or being alone with him, it was quite consuming.

    I think fear makes us go over these horrible events in our heads over and over again. Do you find that you think about this stuff more in moments of stress or tension?

    All I have found helps is distraction (and a lot of counselling )

    The one thing we should all take from these awful tragedies is that we are all responsible for all children.

    xxxxxx

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    Re: What can i do to stop the thoughts!

    Hi little Miss..

    Thanks for posting. And much respect for doing that job. I myself could not do it.

    Im quite a strong person personality wise but when it comes to children as most people are, i find it very disturbing, any form of abuse and this got worse when i had my own children.

    This case is different and im not sure why. It has effected me deeply and almost scarred me. I just can not put my finger on why?

    Even now, while im typing this, i am fighting the images coming into my head and the thoughts of him.

    Your quite right, distraction does work.

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    Re: What can i do to stop the thoughts!

    There is actually a petition on the internet at the moment to try to stop the granting of lifetime anonymity and repatriation to a new life in Australia, for the soon to be released sadistic [completely sane?] monsters who abused and murdered that beautifull little boy.
    I also have had nightmares about this case what mother or indeed HUMAN being wouldnt?
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    Re: What can i do to stop the thoughts!

    I'm worse with this since I had my own two kids... makes me cry thinking about what they did to that wee boy... and I really don't think that they should be allowed anonymity

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    Re: What can i do to stop the thoughts!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mezzosoprano View Post
    and I really don't think that they should be allowed anonymity
    Err...I'm sure someone will correct me if I am wrong, but I understood they already had it. I also understood at least one of them lives with his girlfriend and they have a baby.

    I've followed this case with interest over the years and I don't think there will ever be any question of them not receiving anonymity. The risk of them being attacked or murdered is too high and as far as the law is concerned they have paid their debt and are entitled to be left in peace.

    I don't agree with this, but I understand this to be the case.

    Barry, can you give us the facts?

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    Re: What can i do to stop the thoughts!

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Hi little Miss..
    This case is different and im not sure why. It has effected me deeply and almost scarred me. I just can not put my finger on why?
    I am completely with you here Trouble. I hate all of these sort of cases but this one in particular is unbearable. For me it was the first horrific child case to be in the media after having my first born. I think that's why I react as I do to it.

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