Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 45

Thread: Nerves when you're not new?

  1. #1
    Glitter Queen
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Camberwell, London
    Posts
    3,017
    Rep Power
    11

    Nerves when you're not new?

    I experienced something strange the other night at the Northampton freestyle (and it had nothing to do with Robd )... I got very very nervous.

    I've been dancing for a long time, but as I walked into the room, full of people I didn't know in a hall I'd never been to, I got really nervous. I found I was being really shy and generally felt uncomfortable.

    I don't normally have 'confidence issues', as anyone who knows me will confirm , so this was a new experience for me. I can understand someone who's never been dancing before feeling like this, it would be completely understandable. But has anyone else, who is not new to dancing or the MJ scene, ever felt like this?

    I did dance, a few people were kind enough to ask me , but my balance was off and I really didn't feel like myself. Something I need to get over befor the next time I go somewhere new - tips greatly appreciated .

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    472
    Rep Power
    9

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkles View Post
    I experienced something strange the other night at the Northampton freestyle (and it had nothing to do with Robd )... I got very very nervous.

    I've been dancing for a long time, but as I walked into the room, full of people I didn't know in a hall I'd never been to, I got really nervous. I found I was being really shy and generally felt uncomfortable.

    I don't normally have 'confidence issues', as anyone who knows me will confirm , so this was a new experience for me. I can understand someone who's never been dancing before feeling like this, it would be completely understandable. But has anyone else, who is not new to dancing or the MJ scene, ever felt like this?

    I did dance, a few people were kind enough to ask me , but my balance was off and I really didn't feel like myself. Something I need to get over befor the next time I go somewhere new - tips greatly appreciated .
    I always get butterflies before going to a freestyle - strangely it's always worse when I vaguely know other dancers there. If they don't know you then there's no preconceptions, so if you're off-form, you're not going to be judged on what you've done before. It's probably impractical, but the best way to get relaxed into a dance (in my opinion) is to do some kind of warm-up where you can be a bit silly. I find that giving myself the freedom to make mistakes is very liberating and makes me less uptight about having to perform in line with other people's expectations of what I can do.

    Hope this helps.

  3. #3
    Commercial Operator
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Hastings
    Posts
    4,386
    Blog Entries
    2
    Rep Power
    10

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    I get nervs all the time.

    The worst is dancing with teachers etc, which is stupid as I am one.

    When I danced with Tatiana at southport, I went white. I have never been so nervous during a dance.

  4. #4
    Registered User Northants Girly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Northants
    Posts
    1,795
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    I always feel like that when I go to a venue I've never been to before

    Fortunatley the feeling dosn't usually last very long!

    Thanks for the dance btw - was definitely one of my favs of the night

  5. #5
    Registered User stewart38's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Ambrosden it gets
    Posts
    7,480
    Rep Power
    13

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    I don’t know it it was nerves but def felt odd going back to chesham after a 8 week gap and the fact I hadn’t danced for about 4 weeks. All that went in a few mins

  6. #6
    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Nr Cambridge
    Posts
    3,696
    Rep Power
    12

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkles View Post
    I experienced something strange the other night at the Northampton freestyle (and it had nothing to do with Robd )... I got very very nervous.
    I'm sorry you found it hard at the weekend

    Personally, I love going to new venues but I think there might be a difference for a leader compared to a follower (though you can, of course, do both to a high standard). I especially like it when I dance with new people who may have no idea of your standard and the smile as they realise that actually, they are rather enjoying dancing with me Doesn't always happen of course but sometimes the novelty value can really increase the enjoyment of a dance.

  7. #7
    Ceroc N.I. Franchise Owner drathzel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Bridport, Dorset!
    Posts
    8,175
    Rep Power
    13

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    All the time! At new venues, at my venues, at weekenders and generally everywhere else!

    I get the shakes and feel like i am going to be sick! Its an attack of confidence for me! "am i good enough" "am i teaching well enough" "do people expect me to be better than i am" "do people link i am cr@p" and generally at weekenders "will i know people there"

    it normally wears off after the first dance!

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Sevenoaks
    Posts
    678
    Rep Power
    9

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    Well i thought my confidence level was doing ok till i went to Zulu's in Fulham a few weeks ago with my dance partner Paul. I just didnt feel like i fitted in and when he asked me to dance outside on the decking i just couldnt do it-there were all these skinny pretty women wearing not much more than a bikini and i felt so out of place..... had a sudden attack of the colliwobbles! Really thought i had actually lost my Mojo and ended up going home deflated and disappointed in myself and going home early.

    Needless to say on the next day i gave myself a good kick up the @rse and now the ole confidence is slowly recovering - Thank God!


  9. #9
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    2,795
    Rep Power
    10

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    Quote Originally Posted by DD+ View Post
    Well i thought my confidence level was doing ok till i went to Zulu's in Fulham a few weeks ago with my dance partner Paul. I just didnt feel like i fitted in and when he asked me to dance outside on the decking i just couldnt do it-there were all these skinny pretty women wearing not much more than a bikini and i felt so out of place..... had a sudden attack of the colliwobbles! Really thought i had actually lost my Mojo and ended up going home deflated and disappointed in myself and going home early.

    Needless to say on the next day i gave myself a good kick up the @rse and now the ole confidence is slowly recovering - Thank God!

    Sweety your a great dancer, pay no heed to the midriff and ponytail brigade.

    XXX XXX DTS Dave

  10. #10
    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    SE London
    Posts
    4,204
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    Sparkles - sounds as if you were having an off night. You say your balance was off anyway, and maybe that combined with a new venue and new faces made you feel nervous - which probably made you tense and your balance worse. A vicious circle. Chances are it won't happen again, or at least not in quite the same way.

    Try and put it down to a one off, weird evening. It's less likely to occur again that way - focussing on it and what did or didn't happen will only make you think about it and make it more likely to happen again.


  11. #11
    Ceroc N.I. Franchise Owner drathzel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Bridport, Dorset!
    Posts
    8,175
    Rep Power
    13

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    Quote Originally Posted by DD+ View Post
    i just couldnt do it-there were all these skinny pretty women wearing not much more than a bikini and i felt so out of place.
    I know the feeling! When i dance i am about as covered up as i can be then i look at all the girls with toned tummys and wearing very little and it gives me an ttack of confidence too!

  12. #12
    Registered User Zara's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Bognor Regis
    Posts
    217
    Rep Power
    9

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    Quote Originally Posted by DD+ View Post
    Well i thought my confidence level was doing ok till i went to Zulu's in Fulham a few weeks ago with my dance partner Paul. I just didnt feel like i fitted in and when he asked me to dance outside on the decking i just couldnt do it-there were all these skinny pretty women wearing not much more than a bikini and i felt so out of place..... had a sudden attack of the colliwobbles! Really thought i had actually lost my Mojo and ended up going home deflated and disappointed in myself and going home early.

    Needless to say on the next day i gave myself a good kick up the @rse and now the ole confidence is slowly recovering - Thank God!

    I saw you dance at Zulus, you looked great and your mojo appeared to be firmly intact!

    That place was over run with skinny perfect scantily clad women...damn them!!!! I felt a bit intimidated dancing on the decking, I think that was also to do with feeling that I was being watched
    Its funny that, when I dance I must know that people might watch, but if I catch someone looking at me, It really freaks me out. I see myself as quite confident, but as a dancer I guess you've got to be super confident to avoid nerves completely.

    Zara xxxx

  13. #13
    Dickie Davies' love-child Cruella's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Rugby
    Posts
    6,159
    Rep Power
    13

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    You are lucky that this was just a one off experience Sarah. I get that feeling if I ever go to a venue where I don't know people. (that's why I tend to go where I do know alot of people). I'm guessing that alot of it boils down to the fact that, being a new face, you think you won't be asked to dance as much. If that happens you also don't have your friends around to socialise with. So I guess it's the fear of being a wallflower more than the fear of dancing with strangers. (Although I can't imagine you ever being a wallflower! )

  14. #14
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Norf Lundin
    Posts
    17,001
    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    18

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    Hmmm...

    Quote Originally Posted by DD+ View Post
    were all these skinny pretty women wearing not much more than a bikini
    Quote Originally Posted by Zara View Post
    That place was over run with skinny perfect scantily clad women..
    This is one of those secret advertising campaigns, is it?

    WITCH!!!

  15. #15
    Registered User FoxyFunkster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Aldgate London
    Posts
    490
    Rep Power
    9

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkles View Post
    I did dance, a few people were kind enough to ask me , but my balance was off and I really didn't feel like myself. Something I need to get over befor the next time I go somewhere new - tips greatly appreciated .
    Well without getting into self help mode for you sparkles there are things that i do before i go dancing that may be of some help to you,

    About an hour before i go dancing i always start thinking about the occasions when i felt on fire at a venue, i start thinking about the brilliant dances i had, i always think about the songs that were played, the faces, in fact anything that made me feel good about that particular night, so after an hour or so of this i am usually chomping at the bit to dance cos i`ve got myself into a really positve frame of mind about going dancing.....i`m upbeat and bouncing usually...... and after a while this sort of happens instinctively.......if you don`t think of anything and then just rock up to your venue then i think you can leave yourself open to unpleasant suprises like unfriendly faces, poor music, etc etc, also get Robd although i`m sure he does this anyway to talk about the best weekenders, classes, amazing dance related experiences you`ve both seen when your driving to the venues, even play your fav dance tracks in the car will get you in a positive mood.......i used to say to myself, things, people, circumstances can only get me down if i let them, so i simply choose not to let them.....
    Last edited by David Bailey; 21st-August-2007 at 03:48 PM. Reason: Fixed quotes - again...

  16. #16
    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    The Beoverse
    Posts
    7,985
    Rep Power
    13

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkles View Post
    I don't normally have 'confidence issues', as anyone who knows me will confirm , so this was a new experience for me. I can understand someone who's never been dancing before feeling like this, it would be completely understandable. But has anyone else, who is not new to dancing or the MJ scene, ever felt like this?

    When I make it to dancing (which , thanks to medical problems is infrequent at the moment ) I always feel nervous.

    All the time.. every venue, regardless if I know the people I'm dancing with or not.

    perhaps it's something akin to Performance Anxiety. Even professional dancers/speakers/actors etc can suffer this. Especially in a room of strangers you're entering into the unknown. You're out of your comfort zone.

    Some interesting info HERE

  17. #17
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    241
    Rep Power
    9

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    I take comfort in the fact that I have been dancing long enough to recognize the format of an evening, so that you don't feel nervous. Inevitably you may feel when you are dancing with individual people, particularly those ladies new to it, that you are making them nervous because you are more experienced, but that is a good opportunity to hang back a bit and observe the class and partake in the freestyle when you want to.

    The thing to do is just remind yourself of what it was like the first time and go with the flow. The chances are, knowing the jive scene the way I do, there will always be a familiar face in the venue you can talk to or relate to.

    best
    johnnyman.

  18. #18
    Glitter Queen
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Camberwell, London
    Posts
    3,017
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf1970 View Post
    perhaps it's something akin to Performance Anxiety. Even professional dancers/speakers/actors etc can suffer this. Especially in a room of strangers you're entering into the unknown. You're out of your comfort zone.
    That's certainly sounding familiar .
    I think for me part of the thing is that you want people to see you dancing and think "I'd like to dance with her", but when you're in a room of people you don't know you have no idea what they're thinking when they look at you... and it's the critical eye of the unknown person and their initial impression of you that is intimidating a lot of the time for me.

  19. #19
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Nottingham
    Posts
    1,541
    Rep Power
    9

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    I don't get nervous if I'm somewhere completely unfamiliar and with no one that I know, I just find myself getting bored easier... half my night is socializing so if theres no one I know very well then I'll have a crap night cause of that.

  20. #20
    The Forum Legend
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Nottingham
    Posts
    10,672
    Rep Power
    14

    Re: Nerves when you're not new?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lee Bartholomew View Post
    When I danced with Tatiana at southport, I went white. I have never been so nervous during a dance.
    I wouldn't know. I've never had enough courage to ask her for a dance!

    And I don't often get nervous about going dancing at all. Been to so many different places dancing now that I'm rather used to it. I do get nervous going to places where there's no dancing, and meeting people that are not dancers - going to that meal with your work-mates once was pretty scary for me, Sarah...
    Last edited by TheTramp; 21st-August-2007 at 03:56 PM.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Exam Nerves?
    By Rhythm King in forum Chit Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 29th-April-2005, 07:44 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •