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Thread: Revenge on hotshots?

  1. #41
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    Blimey, everyone's been refused at some point - Amir, Viktor, you name it.
    Crawler...
    And they get refused NOW!

    Many followers, especially new ones are scared that they will not be able to "keep up".

    Not that Amir and Viktor have to ask for many dances unless they choose to, of course. I reckon that at a major freestyle they could dance every dance in the evening without asking once. Oh! It is a hard life!

  2. #42
    Registered User Mezzosoprano's Avatar
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    I've never really REFUSED anyone (not that anyone queues up to dance with me so me refusing someone is just not going to happen!)... there's one guy who dances in INverness who is really, really tall which makes it difficult for both of us as I'm only just over five foot - we kinda have an agreement... no pretzels, octopuses (or should that be octopi?) or the like!

    But I have asked to sit a dance out 'cos I was cream crackered and my asthma was playing up!

  3. #43
    Senior Member Minnie M's Avatar
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mezzosoprano View Post
    ... there's one guy who dances in INverness who is really, really tall which makes it difficult for both of us as I'm only just over five foot - we kinda have an agreement... no pretzels, octopuses (or should that be octopi?) .........
    I am 5'2" and have no problem dancing with Mr. Under Par (6'8") in fact I love dancing with him


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  4. #44
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Why bother with revenge.

    Dance with those who are happy to dance with you.

    Those who do not want to dance with you, no worries, there are plenty more victims for you to ask.

    Enjoy the evening, ignore the as oles, have fun...

    Dance with Minnie M as much as poss, then as a lead you will have a cool evenning

    Hey, I am not a hotshot, I only turn down the cr*p dancers... Always happy to dance with the smooth cool chicks...

  5. #45
    Registered User Feelingpink's Avatar
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Perhaps you could take inspiration from 50 Ways to Kill a Slug when dealing with hotshots?

  6. #46
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Here's an extreme example, taken from dance-forums:

    I spied a man heading my way on Saturday night, when he stopped before me, I picked up my glass of wine, turned my head sharply to the left and made as if I had just seen somebody I knew. He got the message and walked away. Result. Friday night at Negrachas (one of the most "unforgiving" places in London and more so, because the wonderful Pablo Veron was in attendance), another gentleman was glaring over at me whilst I was seated, when he smiled and nodded and made to come over, I turned away. Result. Another gentleman who was seated (this time on Sunday at another venue) just glared at me across the room in an expression that resembled "stunned silence" (Over a year since we last saw each other and yes, we used to talk, dance and break bread but then he went off to BA, returned and I became an invisible). I casually looked over at him and away again. These men (others also who I haven't mentioned) are the same men that treated with me at worse: disdain or at best: total disregard when I was starting out. That memory is still fresh in the head and their disregard and disinterest was the incentive for me to practice, practice, practice and become good and then to learn and practice, practice, practice my lead for one who they once considered wasn't up to much scratch has now become mine.

    Never let it be in mind to forget where it was we once tread. Always remain in mind that situations in life is like dealing with your bank. Pay in large amounts and the return will be even bigger.
    Boy, that woman scares me

  7. #47
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    There's loads of men who attend the same venues as me regularly, who never ask me to dance and I never ask them... I don't think there's any ill feeling at all I just suppose we have no desire to dance with each other.

    The sad fact is, its only the ones that you really 'want' to dance with, who can have any impact on you.

    If they're no good (in your eyes) and they don't ask you to dance (anymore), you wouldn't give it a second thought but if they're really good, you want to know 'why won't they ever ask me (anymore)'
    MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    If they're no good (in your eyes) and they don't ask you to dance (anymore), you wouldn't give it a second thought but if they're really good, you want to know 'why won't they ever ask me (anymore)'
    Hence those awkward conversations:
    L: "How come you don't dance with me any more?"
    F: "Eh? Who are you?"

  9. #49
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    ...Boy, that woman scares me
    You'll learn. They should all scare you.

  10. #50
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    The sad fact is, its only the ones that you really 'want' to dance with, who can have any impact on you.

    If they're no good (in your eyes) and they don't ask you to dance (anymore), you wouldn't give it a second thought but if they're really good, you want to know 'why won't they ever ask me (anymore)'
    As you gain experience dancing there are always people with whom you like to dance but feel that maybe they do not share the same desire and it can be a bit deflating to feel this. The faces on your hit-list may change but the feeling's the same.

    Having said that, there are some people I very rarely ask to dance, not because I don't enjoy our dances together but just because I have come to expect that they will ask me - whether because they are the archetypal predatory follower or just that generally the pattern has been that they will ask me rather than vice versa. Given the usual gender balance at dancing events this freedom is a luxury more often afforded to men than women.

  11. #51
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    Here's an extreme example, taken from dance-forums:

    I spied a man heading my way on Saturday night, when he stopped before me, I picked up my glass of wine, turned my head sharply to the left and made as if I had just seen somebody I knew. He got the message and walked away. Result. Friday night at Negrachas (one of the most "unforgiving" places in London and more so, because the wonderful Pablo Veron was in attendance), another gentleman was glaring over at me whilst I was seated, when he smiled and nodded and made to come over, I turned away. Result. Another gentleman who was seated (this time on Sunday at another venue) just glared at me across the room in an expression that resembled "stunned silence" (Over a year since we last saw each other and yes, we used to talk, dance and break bread but then he went off to BA, returned and I became an invisible). I casually looked over at him and away again. These men (others also who I haven't mentioned) are the same men that treated with me at worse: disdain or at best: total disregard when I was starting out. That memory is still fresh in the head and their disregard and disinterest was the incentive for me to practice, practice, practice and become good and then to learn and practice, practice, practice my lead for one who they once considered wasn't up to much scratch has now become mine.

    Never let it be in mind to forget where it was we once tread. Always remain in mind that situations in life is like dealing with your bank. Pay in large amounts and the return will be even bigger.

    Boy, that woman scares me

    I think it would help to learn the etiquette used with eye contact within Tango first of all. It would help unintentionally misunderstandings occurring. The use of sight over speech is well used in B.A. Some Tango friends found this out when they first began to visit B.A. They did not realise that the conversation between partners off the dancefloor was done without speech. There is a new language to learn apart from the dance itself. This also included the rules about how many times you dance with someone and what it means to dance a certain amount of times. Oh boy!


    Like any language lack of knowledge about it can lead to offence...

  12. #52
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    ...see the story above...
    Boy, that woman scares me
    Well, she saddens me.
    "Beware of hatred, lest you become what you hate."
    p.s. if anyone knows the origin of this "demi-quote" please enlighten me-

  13. #53
    Not a spoon! Lou's Avatar
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Quote Originally Posted by JCB View Post
    Well, she saddens me.
    "Beware of hatred, lest you become what you hate."
    p.s. if anyone knows the origin of this "demi-quote" please enlighten me-
    What about:
    "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves? " - Nietzche

  14. #54
    Registered User killingtime's Avatar
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lou View Post
    "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves? " - Nietzche
    or

    "If you stare into the Abyss long enough the Abyss stares back at you." - Friedrich Nietzsche

    Sheee... Nietzche sure had running themes, didn't he?

  15. #55
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lou View Post
    What about:
    "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves? " - Nietzche
    Nah.

    "Monster" can just be a convenient pigeon-hole for anything the speaker doesn't consider "normal". ( funny statement for him to make; I'd have thought Nietzche would probably want everything like that destroyed).
    And fighting against something/ someone is not equivalent to hating them.

    As a proud, card-carrying member of the "bungled and the botched", I am none too keen on things Nietzschean. ("Andromeda" fans insert quips here) and consider those who "hurdle the dead and trample the wounded" in order to grab more than their fair share of the sunshine to be beneath me, whatever their own opinion of their stature in life may be.

    The quote may be closer to "Shun hatred. You become what you hate." I always thought it sounded Taoist (or possibly a quote from an old martial arts film ). When I was about three, my grandmother was dealing with some scrapes and bruises I acquired when a neighbourhood altercation got a little violent. I was crying. She wiped my tears, saying, "Don't be sad." Before she could continue, I protested, "I'm not sad, I'm angry! I hate them!" Grandma tutted, "You should be careful! You become what you hate. Do you want to be like them?" Now, when my grandmother watched old "Kung Fu" films, I don't know.

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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Quote Originally Posted by killingtime View Post
    "If you stare into the Abyss long enough the Abyss stares back at you." - Friedrich Nietzsche
    ...but I've got to admit, that's how I felt about that mediocre SciFi flick too...


  17. #57
    Registered User killingtime's Avatar
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    Quote Originally Posted by JCB View Post
    ...but I've got to admit, that's how I felt about that mediocre SciFi flick too...
    Oh I enjoyed The Abyss (though I am a Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio fan).

    They also used that quote in Baldur's Gate II (a computer game) to good effect.

  18. #58
    Registered User jinski's Avatar
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    Re: Revenge on hotshots?

    If only they had any idea of how much harm their disinterest / distain for those of us who are less gifted on the dance floor actually does!!

    It can take me days or weeks to regain my confidence even after the smallest/wellmeaning refusal!

    Some of these 'percieved' hotshots can damage someone's confidence for months with out so much as a blink....

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