Revenge on hotshots?

[David Bailey]

Inspired by this

And as far as the prat goes - just imagine your delight as you perform a most delicious drop with a gorgeous, wonderful dance partner - right in front of him.....

and what a cracking revenge!

Do people think revenge is sweet?

Personally, I (usually) don't obsess over people - if they don't want to dance with me, that's their problem, I've got better things to worry about. But, this may just be because I'm an experienced (old!) dancer, what do others think?

[Caro]

Revenge? you mean people could actually whip someone else???

[Twirly]

Inspired by this


Do people think revenge is sweet?

Personally, I (usually) don't obsess over people - if they don't want to dance with me, that's their problem, I've got better things to worry about. But, this may just be because I'm an experienced (old!) dancer, what do others think?

On the whole, I'd agree with you about not obsessing over people. But your quote refers to Connie's experience, which was particularly nasty. That was not a simple refusal, it was downright mean and rude, with the potential to put a new dancer off permanently. And the revenge that Whitetiger is referring to is just being successful, so not exactly something nasty - I think Connie has already has a pretty good revenge anyway

[Dreadful Scathe]

In this particular instance I'd doubt the self-obsessed guy would even notice the "delicious drop" and his lack of caring could make you feel worse.

Running him over with a bus. Now thats revenge

[killingtime]

Personally, I (usually) don't obsess over people - if they don't want to dance with me, that's their problem, I've got better things to worry about. But, this may just be because I'm an experienced (old!) dancer, what do others think?

I have to agree there was a lady who turned me down constantly (and then go dance with someone else) so I didn't ask her any more. At an event (much later on) she asked me to dance and we had a delightful dance, I don't see any reason to hold a grudge.

However being turned down isn't exactly something I'd see the need to hold a grudge about. I expect that if, during a dance, all someone did was constantly criticise my dancing and then walk off the dance floor before the end of the track I'd maybe try and avoid dancing with them entirely in future. I'm pretty sure that isn't "revenge" though.

[Twirly]

I'd maybe try and avoid dancing with them entirely in future. I'm pretty sure that isn't "revenge" though.

No, that's self-preservation!

[whitetiger1518]

Eh what ??? What did I say? you quoted Mezzosoprano
- not me...

I agreed that that Connie's way was a good way of getting back at someone - though I am never very good a revenge at all...

I [a] can't think of anything to say - certainly not as wittily put as Connie did, and

[b] I have a red hot temper that burns itself out - so I tend not to hold grudges of any kind..

Whitetiger

[Connie]

I am not normally a vindictive grudge bearing sort of girl. Honest

Only he shouldnt have started to pick on my friend

[robd]

However being turned down isn't exactly something I'd see the need to hold a grudge about.... I'd maybe try and avoid dancing with them entirely in future. I'm pretty sure that isn't "revenge" though.

Very selective quoting by me but it summarises my feelings. I do hold grudges and if you turned me down before I'm very unlikely to ask again. Petty? Yes. But not really 'revenge'.

[David Bailey]

I am not normally a vindictive grudge bearing sort of girl. Honest

I'm not having a go at you, Connie - honest (you'll know if I do ), but I've seen people say, quite frequently recently, things like:
"Wait till you get really good, then you can show [hotshot] how much he / she has missed"

Which, to me, gives too much "power of approval" to the hotshot. You should "get really good" for yourself, not to prove someone wrong.

I honestly can't remember doing this - possibly because I have the memory capacity of a goldfish so couldn't hold that sort of dance grudges if I tried. Neither can I remember even thinking something like "Just you wait till I get good, grrr...."

And it's not that I'm a nice guy - I'm not - but it's just something that's never really occurred to me as a course of action.

[Raul]

Revenge?

Revenge on what? If they do not bother you in the first place, then there is nothing to brood about. The way that you think some people behave may be to do with the way you percieve them rather than them per say.

So, you got turned down, perhaps "nastily". So what, have you never ever turned anyone down?

Let it go and treat them exactly as if nothing had happened. Another day another situation. If they accept all is fine, if they refuse, then any issue and any negative feeling (awkwardness, guilt, annoyment, anger) is with them rather than you.

Re "hotshots" or people who actually feel that they have something to prove, i think that any problem is actually with them having to make the mark or keep it. what a chore!

[Trousers]

. . . . just be because I'm an experienced (old!) dancer, what do others think?

Yeah you are old!

[Andy McGregor]

Ahh, revenge. That dish best served cold.

I'll recount a recent experience. Way back in the mists of time, over 10 years ago, I was a MJ beginner. I attended a Brighton class on a Monday night having been dragged along by a friend of Sue's - I had a great time and continued to attend. After a few weeks I found out there was also a Tuesday night class in the same venue which had more experienced dancers. I attended this class to find it had the classic "no-row" of hotshot dancers. I got turned down a few times by women who didn't want to dance with beginners. One of them was a young attractive girl who really gave me the snooty, "what's this on the sole of my shoe" look. And she was rude to me in the pub as well She'd attended with her mother, who is delightful - her mother actually saw/heard her daugher's put-down and acutally apologised to me.

I never went back to the Tuesday class.

Now, roll the clock forward 10 years. I'm running many successful nights in the area - our banner actually says "Rocsters - for friendly dancers" so people get the idea that they need to be friendly. The Tuesday class from 10 years previously has closed due to no beginners staying. The mother has become a good friend and we've never seen the daughter. Until a night about 3 months ago: the daughter turned up with her mum and repeated her old pattern of sitting looking grumpy and turning down most requests for a dance. As the host I thought I ought to ask her for a dance - her reaction was identical to the one I got 10 years ago. My reaction was very different "have you noticed our banner?" said I, pointing to the banner, "it says 'for friendly dancers'. Are you sure you've come to the right place?"

Amazingly, we've seen her since

[killingtime]

...and repeated her old pattern of sitting looking grumpy and turning down most requests for a dance.

See this is what I really don't understand about the "no-row". Not the fact that it seems a bit rude but the fact that you don't get to dance as much, give me a not-so-good dance over no-dance any day.

Amazingly, we've seen her since

No "never" in there?

[Raul]

Ahh, revenge.

Amazingly, we've seen her since

Yeah!

but if she is still refusing you, then may be your dancing has not improved in the last 10 years!

[Trouble]

Inspired by this
. But, this may just be because I'm an experienced (old!) dancer, what do others think?

i agree with you. you are an old dancer.

[happygoldfish]

I honestly can't remember doing this - possibly
because I have the memory capacity of a goldfish …

Erm …

I think you'll find …

Er …

D'oh!

I honestly can't remember doing this - possibly because I have the memory capacity of a goldfish …

Ah! Quick! …

I'm ok in a tank! It's these bowls that mesmerise me!

… tanks for the memory! …

[Lou]

I have to agree there was a lady who turned me down constantly (and then go dance with someone else) so I didn't ask her any more. At an event (much later on) she asked me to dance and we had a delightful dance, I don't see any reason to hold a grudge.

You missed a trick. After that dance was over you should've patted her on the head & said "Well done"!

[David Bailey]

You missed a trick. After that dance was over you should've patted her on the head & said "Well done"!

Blast, I knew I'd forgotten something with our dances

[bigdjiver]

Revenge is just spreading the pain. I told my sons that I assess a man by how much he can take, not by how much he can dish out.
OTOH "Teaching someone a lesson" can also involve inflicting just as much pain, but pain with the purpose of modifying behaviour.