Escaping terrible dances?

[Mr Darcy]

I went dancing last night, when it came to the end and the last few tracks (the one in question was a really nice slow one) I couldn't find anybody I knew to ask to dance so asked someone I had never seen before.

BIG mistake. HUUUGE..

I don't think she'd ever danced before, or watched it, or anything.

Now I always try and be polite (would be exceptional if I refused a request to dance) so I did my best and carried on.

Should I have just said something straight away? I realise it's only 3 minutes of my life but that is about 0.000489% of my remaining leisure time and 0.003205% of my remaining dance time [*1].

I fell better now, but what do other do in this situation? Will anybody admit to escaping to find another partner when they find themselves in this situation? [*2].


[*1] Based on 35 years with an average of 8 hours a day for lesiure and 30 years of dancing 10 hours per week.

[*2] Yes I'm sure it has been covered if I search for it, but this is a forum not a wiki, right?

[Twirly]

I'd just grit my teeth and get on with it, assuming that they weren't actually hurting me.

It is a shame to finish off an otherwise good night with a less-than-nice dance, but is it really such a big deal? She might well have loved the dance, particularly if it was her first night.

[MartinHarper]

What do other do in this situation?

Given a slow song, and a complete beginner, I'd probably dance the "blues basic" for most of the three minutes, and chat with my partner some.

[stewart38]

Given a slow song, and a complete beginner, I'd probably dance the "blues basic" for most of the three minutes, and chat with my partner some.

If she was particulary attractive id say

lets skip the dance and go back to my place

seriously , i can only think of two occassions when ive not completed a dance. (one was drunk, one was rude)

[Caz]

I think you have to carry on with the dance regardless... Like other people say she might have found the dance the best of her night.. different people interpret dances differently.. I danced with a guy last night who thought he was the next best thing.. i thought he was shocking.. my friend also danced with him to check it out and she said the same.. on speaking to others also they all had the same opinion.. he had some good moves but i seriously think that he was listening to some other song! to top it all off at the end of the dance he patted my shoulder and said "well done"... arrogant b*****d! i would have loved to escape halfway thru the dance but just grinned and beared it!

[Raul]

Given a slow song, and a complete beginner, I'd probably dance the "blues basic" for most of the three minutes, and chat with my partner some.

depends on the beginner/(person who has never even heard of dancing before).

some just swing from side to side, without moving their legs at all, so the blues basic works. with others i do the world famous armjive and perhaps the octopus.

however bad the follower may be, i feel that it is my responsibility to make the best of the dance. as you say they may enjoy it better than they let appear and you may make the difference between them returning or giving up. i am just glad that no one made me give up although i felt like it for about 2 months.

on the other hand of the scale you meet complete beginners who follow very well and can follow an intermediate routine better than the average regular follower.

[Trouble]

I fell better now, but what do other do in this situation? Will anybody admit to escaping to find another partner when they find themselves in this situation? [*2].

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Good Grief Mr Darcy, surely you could have adapted it to something worthwhile, great little mover like you.!! You should have just swayed her, held her close and given her that intense look you always have, she probably would have excused herself at that point anyway......

[Gav]

You could try stopping being such a hotshot and remembering that once upon a time, you weren't all that good either. Remember how many good dancers put up with your early leading efforts and helped you through it?

[Caz]

Good Grief Mr Darcy, surely you could have adapted it to something worthwhile, great little mover like you.!! You should have just swayed her, held her close and given her that intense look you always have, she probably would have excused herself at that point anyway......

BTW I love my dances with you Mr Darcy Hope to see you soon

[Mr Darcy]

You could try stopping being such a hotshot and remembering that once upon a time, you weren't all that good either. Remember how many good dancers put up with your early leading efforts and helped you through it?

Never been called a hotshot before! I frequently dance with beginners, and would dance with her again if she asked. There is only one person I would turn down if they asked. This was just an exceptional case that's all.

[PretzelMeister]

~snip~
Should I have just said something straight away? I realise it's only 3 minutes of my life but

which I suspect is shorter than the length of time it took you to calculate the following stats...

that is about 0.000489% of my remaining leisure time and 0.003205% of my remaining dance time [*1].

...so any need to ask?

Unless physically painful then common courteousy is never to adbandon your partner....

[stewart38]

I went dancing last night, when it came to the end and the last few tracks (the one in question was a really nice slow one) I couldn't find anybody I knew to ask to dance so asked someone I had never seen before.

BIG mistake. HUUUGE..

I don't think she'd ever danced before, or watched it, or anything.

to

Never been called a hotshot before! I frequently dance with beginners, and would dance with her again if she asked.

So whats the post for then to make you feel superior and ridcule the girl ?

[Cruella]

There is only one person I would turn down if they asked.

*Makes a mental note never to ask Mr Darcy to dance*
Me paranoid? Never!

[Caro]

Never been called a hotshot before!

Don't worry, you'll get used to it pretty quickly. Welcome to the club

[MartinHarper]

This was just an exceptional case that's all.

How was it exceptional? Because it was the last dance? Because it was a "nice slow song"? Because she was just that bad? Or some other reason?

[Mr Darcy]

Ooohh, gonna really need my flame suit for this thread!

1) stats were calulated in work time, not leisure time so time wasted on that doesn't count.

2) Note that I did try my best, did finish the dance, didn't try and leave. Surely I am allowed to not like it though?

3) Why would I not turn her down in future? couple of reasons. I think it would be rude and she will likely improve.

Really, I was trying to ask if anyone else had abandoned a dance, could be same reason or because of an irreconcilable clash of styles/interpretations or whatever.. I did nothing nasty and don't intend to start.

[Lory]

So whats the post for then to make you feel superior and ridcule the girl ?

I don't think he's ridiculed anyone He hasn't mentioned any names or even described her in anyway.

I've had more than a few dances which I've absolutely hated for one reason or another and if there had been an acceptable, non hurtful way to get out of it, I'd have taken that option

BUT I honestly believe, there is no way to be polite about ending a dance and it 'would' be offensive, hurtful and upsetting for the other person involved so, I'd grit my teeth and see it through to the end everytime, i'm afraid!

[Twirly]

BUT I honestly believe, there is no way to be polite about ending a dance and it 'would' be offensive, hurtful and upsetting for the other person involved so, I'd grit my teeth and see it through to the end everytime, i'm afraid!

You could fake an injury... but then you'd be out for the rest of the evening.

[Lory]

Really, I was trying to ask if anyone else had abandoned a dance,

Yes, a few times but on all occasions its been with people i've known well and its been mutually agreed! And its always been because of the music!

[Twirly]

Really, I was trying to ask if anyone else had abandoned a dance, could be same reason or because of an irreconcilable clash of styles/interpretations or whatever.. I did nothing nasty and don't intend to start.

Actually, yes I have. The last time was at the Beach Ballroom when the guy's floorcraft was appalling, and after a couple of minor collisions, he lead me in such a way as I tripped over someone else and landed on the floor. I did get up and try to carry on, but I had absolutely no trust in him after that and after about 5 seconds realised that I really didn't want to. I think that was reasonable though - I was highly embarrassed and felt rather wobbly.

The only other time is when I've almost had a stiletto through the top of my foot and had to hobble off with very bad bruising and ice the foot. Again, I think that's quite reasonable. But both are also extreme cases.

Should also say that in both cases I also did end up on the dancefloor again sometime later when the bruising/embarrassment had subsided, but only dancing gently with people I trusted.