Normal behavior?

[Connie]

Hi everyone,

I went to my first ceroc class last week and had a brilliant time during the beginners class. Never have I appologised to so many men in such a short period of time hehe. But I had a really good laugh participating in the class.
After the class there was a 15 minute "free-style" and a gent came up and asked me to dance. I accepted with a smile and said thank you, and warned him at the same time it was my first time ceroc'ing but I would try my best not to tread him over the toes.

Well that dance was a disaster! He got really angry with me that I didn't really know what he was doing, but the moves he was trying to get me to do was well advanced! Half way through the dance, he stopped suddenly and told me: " I am bored with this now, cant be botered to dance with someone so useless"
I have to say I was completely stunned, the cheek of the man!
Ashamed to say that I walked out of the venue promising myself never to return. However I am now a bit cross and will give it another go tonight.
My question is, should I have not danced with him, given it was my first lesson? Should one wait to dance until one have reached a certain competence? Did I break some sort of rule I didnt know existed

[Caz]

Sorry to read your post Connie! That is not normal behavoiur at the venues that I go to.. We encourage new people and it is regarded as normal to dance even on your first night with people.... Sounds like the guy you danced with had his own problems but i have never been to a venue and seen behavoiur like that.

sorry to hear you had such a bad experience and i hope you do go back tonight and hopefully it will be better for you

don't let it put you off

[Dizzy]

Hi Connie and welcome to the forum

Congratulations on making it to your first Ceroc class and hope that you enjoyed it. I am sorry however that you have had your first dance spoilt by such a horrible, concided man who obviously just wanted to dance to his level and did not think about you at all

You will find that the majority of the men in the ceroc dance world are not like this at all and will be happy to dance to your level and enjoy it. You unfortunately had bad luck with the choice of your first dance partner but please do not let him put you off dancing as there are so many more men to dance with who will make you feel great .

[drathzel]

OMG connie, i am really shocked! That is not normal behaviour at any venue i hold or have attended. I have never personally come accross it but i have heard of it happening.

I would have told him to stop being such a prat as you had told him you were a beginner when you started dancing and if he hadnt wanted to do beginners stuff then he should have found someone else to dance with.

I would also have reported him to my venue manager and made sure that something was done. I dont mean anything bad just a little word in his shell like.

I am soooo sorry you had such a bad experience and it really upsets me to know that you have been to a venue, really enjoyed yourself but the one bad experience put you off. I am sure that anyone who runs a venue would feel the same!

My advise is, go back, hold your head high, dance with the people you are comfortable with (ie the ones you maybe have danced with in rotation) and not give that idiot a second look or the satifaction of putting you off.

Let us know how it goes tonight i would be good to hear! Welcome to the forum, we are all nice people here!

[Twirly]

to what the girls above have just said.

That sort of behaviour is truly awful and quite shocking Connie, and not what you normally find at all. It would be bad even if you hadn't told him it was your first time - even worse that you had told him. He should have realised and bowed out then and there if he's such a hot shot that he won't dance with beginners

Do go back if you enjoyed any part of the class - Ceroc is such good fun, it would be a shame for you to miss out just because of one arrogant tw@t. And as Drathzel says, if you get such behaviour from him (or anyone else) again, find the venue manager and report them.

Most leads are kind, considerate and want to encourage and develop new dancers - the rest of the venue is probably filled with this type of dancer. Hope you find lots of them tonight and have a wonderful time - and come back and tell us all about it!

Welcome to dancing, and to the forum.

[whitetiger1518]

to all of the above What a first impression..I am SO Sorry...


Where are you in the world?...Where ever you are I'm sure there will be someone from here reasonably close to the venue you choose, so if you would like a friendly face or two to meet, say hello, dance with or introduce you around then just say the word..


One thing that hasn't been mentioned is that there are taxi dancers at nearly every venue - these are extremely patient people who are there specifically to help beginners... they are easily identifiable and very willing to dance with beginners.

Hope you have a better night, and good on you for persevereing after such a rotten start.



Whitetiger

[Twirlie Bird]

Hi Connie and welcome to the forum.

Please don't let that idiot put you off dancing. It is obviously something that you wanted to do and you were enjoying it up until that dance. I have never seen that sort of thing happen and have never experienced it. I am totally shocked that somebody could be so rude.

Keep going. Become a really good dancer and then take real pleasure in turning him down when he asks you to dance.

[Minnie M]

Hi Connie - welcome to the forum

You don't say which area you dance in - not that it really matters, bad manners are NOT acceptable where-ever you dance.

A friend on mine had a similar experience when he first started dancing - he is a good looking chap with a smilie face. A very experienced good female dancer came over and beckoned him to dance, once on the floor she realised that he was very new and couldn't lead - so she look at him in disgust and walkd off the floor leaving him looking very stupid

About a year later he happened to see her again, he was now a very competent dancer he went and asked this hot shot lady to dance and half way through the dance, put her in a 'ballroom drop' and left her there saying "Apologise for being rude to me last year, or I will keep you there" the surrounding dancers stopped and started laughing

Moral of story ........... stay with the dance, don't forget the incident and plan your revenge

Good luck

Minnie M

[David Bailey]

He got really angry with me that I didn't really know what he was doing, but the moves he was trying to get me to do was well advanced!

If you couldn't follow his lead, then it's his fault for not leading clearly.

By definition, if you couldn't follow, then he wasn't a good leader. He may have thought he was good, of course. I'd guess he was someone who'd been dancing for a year or two, and thought he was hot stuff?

Any decent leader should be able to lead any follower to have a good dance. That's almost an iron-clad rule. If you didn't have a good dance, then he wasn't a good leader.

Half way through the dance, he stopped suddenly and told me: " I am bored with this now, cant be botered to dance with someone so useless"
I have to say I was completely stunned, the cheek of the man!

"Scumbag" is the word that comes to mind. Ignore him, 99.9% of men in Ceroc really aren't like that at all.

It's very easy when learning to be put off by one poor experience, so you're showing guts through continuing.

Ashamed to say that I walked out of the venue promising myself never to return. However I am now a bit cross and will give it another go tonight.

Good for you - out of interest, what's the venue? I'd like to see this "hotshot", I could do with a good laugh.

My question is, should I have not danced with him, given it was my first lesson? Should one wait to dance until one have reached a certain competence? Did I break some sort of rule I didnt know existed

Nope. Especially as he asked you, and you told him you were a beginner. So I can't see why he then complained.

[Minnie M]

Good for you - out of interest, what's the venue? I'd like to see this "hotshot", I could do with a good laugh..........

me too

[johnnyman]

When I hear something like this, it represents everything that MJ is not.

If you are new to anything, it is going to take time to develop your own ability and normally the first night is often the hardest and most challenging. When I dance with beginners, I will keep the moves simple and guide them through the routine. Sometimes, like I did last night at an event in London, I will help people with a few pointers just to ease them in gently, but actively encourage them to participate in the class.

Anyone who is of an advanced level dancing with beginners should know better and should be avoided in future if they react like that again. The upside of it is is that eventually his manner will spread through word of mouth and he will then wonder why nobody wants to dance with him.

I hope we meet up at an event soon and dance together. Although I have been dancing for 10 years, I have time for anyone who has only been dancing 10 minutes.

best
johnnyman

[Twirly]

like I did last night at an event in London

Just out of curiousity - where were you dancing in London last night?

[Connie]

Thanks everyone for your replies. Good to know that this pitiful specimen of the male race is not repesentative of ceroc dancers.

I was so shocked that he chose to terminate our dance, rather than "endure" the 40 odd seconds that was left of the song. Rude, rude rude!
Not very funny to be abandoned on the dance floor during your first dance
I know it must be boring for experienced dancers to dance with a clueless beginner, but one has to start somewhere!
(and though I've never danced ceroc before, I danced ballet for years, so I have some small level of ability)

The venue was Fairfiled Halls in East Croydon. I've plod along again tonight and give it another go, in fact I've just booked a beginners workshop on-line a few tics ago. I'll nail this yet.

[Minnie M]

.........The venue was Fairfiled Halls in East Croydon. I've plod along again tonight and give it another go, in fact I've just booked a beginners workshop on-line a few tics ago. I'll nail this yet.

Shame, Virginia's lot are a nice bunch, but not the most friendly of the southern ceroc venues If you could venture further south, you will find Dorking LeRoc is very friendly, and even further south to one of Andy McG's classes you will feel part of the family they are so friendly

Analisa's bunch are friendly too (Ceroc Surrey) - I am sure London based forumites will give some tips too

Please don't stop, this isn't the norm we really are a very friendly and nice bunch in general, however I would like to know who he is so we can get some revenge

[Twirly]

It would be quite easy for Connie to get to Clapham too - can vouch for the dancers there. Probably depends on where she's coming from though as to what's easiest.

[johnnyman]

Just out of curiousity - where were you dancing in London last night?

I was dancing down at Sugar Reef.

[Twirly]

I was dancing down at Sugar Reef.

Just wondered as I danced with a non-regular but very good dancer at Clapham last night, thought it might have been you

[johnnyman]

I was at Clapham on a free entry e-mail a couple of weeks ago, but often I tend to relax on a Monday.

You will see me at different venues here and there from time to time, so you just have to keep your eyes open.

I think Southport will be my next big event. I am fluctuating at the moment with dancing, but hope to build my energy up for that weekend.

Send me a PM to see what event you may be planning to attend in the coming weeks.

best
johnnyman

[Twirly]

so you just have to keep your eyes open.

For whom - there's no pic on your profile!










(The invisible man?)

[killingtime]

Thanks everyone for your replies. Good to know that this pitiful specimen of the male race is not repesentative of ceroc dancers.

I sure hope not. I found Ceroc one of the friendliness places I've been to when I first started it would be a disaster if that attitude changes.

I know it must be boring for experienced dancers to dance with a clueless beginner, but one has to start somewhere!

That's really not always the case (ok sometimes it is). One thing I love about dancing with beginners (and it isn't the only one) is often the sheer joy of dancing they have (and when that shows). Us jaded "old folk" need bigger and bigger fixes to get to that same place and seeing someone else having such a great time can be really, really, uplifting.

in fact I've just booked a beginners workshop on-line a few tics ago. I'll nail this yet.

Cool, glad to see you giving it another go and hope you have a great time this time around. One thing I would mention and I don't want to dissuade you from going to the workshop, I think the most fun you can have from dancing is freestyle and workshops can feel a little like work instead (though that can be productive and useful). Try and get to another class with freestyle as well, I think you'll be glad you did.