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Thread: Courtesy on the Tube...

  1. #21
    Papa Smurf
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    Re: tubes

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Exactly...! Some miserable bltch on the tube the other day had a free paper by the side of her, but was reading some work related document...obviously intending to take the paper with her off the tube and read it later. Three people asked her if they could have a look at the paper and she said no to all of them! She wasn't even reading it.
    Ive got to say "so what" to this too - its her paper and how much it costs doesn't enter into it. She obviously wanted to keep it and if she had given it up chances are she would have difficulty getting it back, and it may have made her feel bitter for the rest of the day.

  2. #22
    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: Courtesy on the Tube...

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    It's You're not your....and he was joking.


    Is it


    yawn........

  3. #23
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    Re: tubes

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    Ive got to say "so what" to this too - its her paper and how much it costs doesn't enter into it. She obviously wanted to keep it and if she had given it up chances are she would have difficulty getting it back, and it may have made her feel bitter for the rest of the day.

  4. #24
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    Re: Courtesy on the Tube...

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    Is it


    yawn........
    Attagirl!

  5. #25
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    Re: What have you learnt in the past 24 hours?

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Have you ever tried to steer one of those things? I've had 3 different double buggies for my kids over the years...2 side by sides and one long one where they sit behind one another.

    Have a go yourself Bazza, then I'll worry about your legs being injured.
    I haven't tried to drive a cement mixer either but I'd still gripe if they were driven with abandon and I kept having to jump out of the way...

    (Can I have that wooden spoon, please?)

  6. #26
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Courtesy on the Tube...

    Grabbed from Facebook:

    -------------------------
    Having put up with a number of annoying and bizarre experiences on the London Underground, I thought I'd write my own guide to etiquette. Please follow it diligently! Especially if you use the Metropolitan Line. Yes, you.

    • If you're reading a newspaper or a magazine, don't get all huffy if I read over your shoulder - it doesn't cost you anything.
    • Similarly, don't offer to share your paper - that's just creepy.
    • Don't sit on the edge of the bench - I don't want to have to climb over you to get to the free seat.
    • Luggage - unless you bought that Samsonite a ticket, keep it off the seats and out of my leg space.
    • Men, it won't compromise your reproductive health to sit with your legs less than half a mile apart.
    • Ladies, sitting with your legs crossed over is fine, but get your damn shoe off my knee!
    • Don't play your music over the loudspeaker. You don't look cool, and just exposes your crappy taste in music. Same with earphones - turn that **** down.
    • If you attempt to talk to me and I don't immediately engage you in sparkling, animated conversation - it's because I want you to LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, jackass. Honestly. I'm not just playing hard to get.
    • If you must talk on the phone, do it quietly. I don't need to hear about what Wendy said to Eileen or what time your leg wax is.
    • If you have halitosis, keep your damn mouth shut! Don't be yawning or sighing loudly.
    • When I fall asleep, don't wake me up asking if I want to rest my head on your shoulder.
    • When I decline, don't then start speculating out loud about what I could have been up to last night to cause this tiredness. Freak.
    • Keep tissues handy. Especially if you have a cold. I'd buy a dog if I wanted to hear constant sniffing. The same goes for coughers/sneezers - I don't need to catch that ****.
    • Don't pretend to be asleep, then sneak a hand over and grope my shirt-potatoes. I have breasts, but I'm not stupid.
    • Don't start getting out of your seat before the train stops. You'll only fall heavily into my lap when it brakes. And I happen to like the fragile little bones in my feet.
    • Don't stare continuously and unblinkingly, and in particular, don't say "You have blowjob lips!", get up off the train, and run around the platform screaming it. No one ever won the hand of fair maiden that way.
    • Don't eat. I don't need you dropping crumbs all over my lap, no do I need to sit on your old banana skin or apple core. If you must eat, keep your damn mouth closed.
    • Women applying make up/nail varnish on the train - go right ahead, we could all use the amusement when the train suddenly brakes or goes over a bump.
    • Give a lady some goddamn personal space, goddammit! Organs need room to function.
    • Don't be rubbing your leg up on me either, lest you reeeally want my stilletto down your oesophagus.
    • Keep your wet umbrellas AWAY from my legs. A 'sorry' ain't gonna get the water out of my trousers.
    • Public displays of affection - a peck on the lips is fine, but save the rest for your bedroom. If I wanted soft porn, I'd download it.
    • Eager beavers jostling to get on the carriage first. Ngh. Just, ngh.
    • People with body odour - if you're not going to wash, don't strap-hang. Keep elbows below shoulder height and armpits AWAY from my face.
    • Farting. Goes without saying - the hazardous gases of your colon; confined space. Doesn't take a genius. If you can hold it in, please do.

    -------------------------

  7. #27
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    Re: Courtesy on the Tube...

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    • Farting. Goes without saying - the hazardous gases of your colon; confined space. Doesn't take a genius. If you can hold it in, please do.
    and only let it out, just as you leave the train. You wouldn't want everyone to miss out would you?

  8. #28
    Registered User Jhutch's Avatar
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    Re: What have you learnt in the past 24 hours?

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post

    I hate the tube. It's full of nutters, stinkers, eaters, drinkers and mingers.

    Its not that bad, unless i am one or most of the above It's all the darkness that i don't like, much preferred it when i could get the overland

  9. #29
    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: Courtesy on the Tube...

    You/they forgot the embarking/disembarking rule:

    Let people off the train first. If I can't get off, there isn't going to be any room for you to get on! And don't cry when my umberella just "happens" to get you right in the ******* as you shove on past me...

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