Are you good at letting things go ?

[Trouble]

I let everything go, especially when i sneeze

but if somebody insults me, i never let that go. It stays with me for life and that person, regardless of the circumstances, will never be accepted by me apology or not.

So i suppose i dont really no.

[Andy McGregor]

I let everything go, especially when i sneeze

but if somebody insults me, i never let that go. It stays with me for life and that person, regardless of the circumstances, will never be accepted by me apology or not.

So i suppose i dont really no.

But do you just walk away? That's letting go. Staying around to exchange insults is not letting go. Ask yourself, when you're insulted, do you take revenge, act badly, completely blow your top, hit people, lose control, etc. See insulting behavior as a challenge to your niceness: are you going to let them stop you being nice? Stop you being you? If you do, they were right to insult you, you aren't nice. Maintain your dignity and just walk away, be relentlessly nice and take the high ground rather than coming down to their level - besides, they might hit you and I can stand anything but pain

[Trouble]

But do you just walk away? That's letting go. Staying around to exchange insults is not letting go. Ask yourself, when you're insulted, do you take revenge, act badly, completely blow your top, hit people, lose control, etc. See insulting behavior as a challenge to your niceness: are you going to let them stop you being nice? Stop you being you? If you do, they were right to insult you, you aren't nice. Maintain your dignity and just walk away, be relentlessly nice and take the high ground rather than coming down to their level - besides, they might hit you and I can stand anything but pain

Well to be honest, its only happened once and funnily enough a forumite. I ignore the prat now cause he just aint worth my breath. I have been advised by various people that i should just ask him for a dance and be done with it, i would never do that while i have a hole in my rear end so is that letting go, you tell me.

Im in Management and i deal with idiots every day of the week. I let a lot of things go and stick to systems/regulations as my guide. If somebody steps through a requirement and they have a bad attitude, i will put them through the mill on the basis of law. I get a lot of satisfaction doing this if the member concerned is a pi55 taker which unfortunately in my industry there are a lot off.

I am always calm. Shouting is a sign of weakness as far as im concerned. Infact the angrier i get the calmer i get.

[Double Trouble]

I am always calm. Shouting is a sign of weakness as far as im concerned. Infact the angrier i get the calmer i get.

I've got three words for you - Jacob, Isaac, Rebecca.

[Andy McGregor]

Well to be honest, its only happened once and funnily enough a forumite. I ignore the prat now cause he just aint worth my breath. I have been advised by various people that i should just ask him for a dance and be done with it, i would never do that while i have a hole in my rear end so is that letting go, you tell me.

Im in Management and i deal with idiots every day of the week. I let a lot of things go and stick to systems/regulations as my guide. If somebody steps through a requirement and they have a bad attitude, i will put them through the mill on the basis of law. I get a lot of satisfaction doing this if the member concerned is a pi55 taker which unfortunately in my industry there are a lot off.

I am always calm. Shouting is a sign of weakness as far as im concerned. Infact the angrier i get the calmer i get.

It sounds to me like Trouble is an example to us all. She sounds great at letting go

.. of course it's much easier for her, with a single loook she can scare people into staying away from her

[Lory]

Who said "the best of gifts that God could give us, would to be to see ourselves as others see us"?

Ah but some of the most evil people in history 'appear' to be very kind outwardly and are respected members of society, take Harold Shipman for example.

Some people are so clever and devious, that they develop ways of making you feel guilty, thoughtless and indebted to them and that everything that happens to upsets you, is as a result of your own behaviour but in realilty, they have contrived the situation. At the same time, everyone else around thinks they're wonderful.


These people only care about themselves and the outward impression they portray, they are very clever and impress upon you that everything they do, however bad it feels, has your best interests at heart.

For example, they book something up (that they want to go to) and tell you they've gone out of their way to book you a wonderful surprise, they manage to drop in how they 'knew' how happy it would make you, so they spent extra on getting the best seats in the house! All the time, they know, you'd have rather have gone somewhere else.....And yet again, you find yourself in a no win situation!

The thing is, 'you' yourself know whats happened and they definitely know you know but if you say anything, they'd appear to be mortally offended and hurt and so yet again, outwardly, he's always the lovely guy and YOU'RE the ungrateful bitch.

Disclaimer, the above isn't about me!

[Dreadful Scathe]

Talk

communication is the best thing, say what you need to say. If someone doesn't comprehend maybe they just can't. Move on and don't let it bother you.

I have no regrets in life. None whatsoever.

[Double Trouble]

For example, they book something up (that they want to go to) and tell you they've gone out of their way to book you a wonderful surprise, they manage to drop in how they 'knew' how happy it would make you, so they spent extra on getting the best seats in the house! All the time, they know, you'd have rather have gone somewhere else.....And yet again, you find yourself in a no win situation!

Oh my God...you have just discribed an ex of mine to a tee. Make you feel guilty if you are not eternally grateful for the lovely night out they have organised, when really, they just wanted to go themselves and needed a companion to go with.

The generosity of women, eh?

[fletch]

taken up martial arts to take route 1 to sorting things out. Luckily I got a little scared about what damage I could inflict if I ever lost control



Unfortunately I'm not as good a Christian .

Gus, I have know a few people who have been into martial arts, and in my opinion it isn't worth a jot!

when your having a conflict with someone and they hit you over the head with a chair or stick a glass in your face, your Bruce Lee chop isn't much help, in an ideal world the 'queens bridge' rules might work but were not in an ideal world, I don't think you need to worry to much about your ability to harm someone, that comes from the type of person you are.

As a Christian does it tell you anywhere to live and let live, and no judge.

[Dreadful Scathe]

Gus, I have know a few people who have been into martial arts, and in my opinion it isn't worth a jot!

Martial Arts in the west is considered very differently to martial arts in the east. Practicing to be tougher or a better fighter or whatever - is missing the point. It can be worth a great deal indeed.

when your having a conflict with someone and they hit you over the head with a chair or stick a glass in your face, your Bruce Lee chop isn't much help

Bruce Lee had a philosophy on life as well as his own martial art, which would be a lot of help in situations like that. There is no such thing as a "Bruce Lee chop" but i'm sure you are right in that it would not be much help.

[Beowulf]

Like many others, I'd been heavily bullied at school and as a result (like many others) taken up martial arts to take route 1 to sorting things out.

My Dad.. with all best intentions in mind.. made me go to Karate lessons when I was in school to "sort out the bullies" I hated it. And sadly I found it made things worse. It was the "Fastest Gun in the West" syndrome. The Bullies at school found out I was doing Karate so they Queued (yes literally queued up to take shots) to beat me up so see how good I was and get "Kudos" for beating up someone who did Martial Arts. (Albeit very badly)

In a fit of rage I did break a guys nose in College but that sickened me. I thought an expulsion and criminal proceedings would be deserved but the person in question (shocked by my uncharacteristically violent outburst) realised he'd done wrong and said he'd provoked me. He actually became one of my better friends after that.

I have a hideous temper. When I lose it.. I mean really lose it it's scary. I abhor violence and hope that I never need to use it. I use more underhand methods for revenge.. some actually a lot sicker and nastier than punching someone.

I have a pent up rage in me that I'm afraid to let out. I have learnt to control it and turn the other cheek 99.999% of the time. But to play the geek and quote a certain cartoon/TV character.. "Don't make me angry.. you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" Luckily only major attacks on my friends , family and loved ones can provoke such a reaction.. I'm unsure if the situation arose if I'd be able to control my anger.

I'm not a fighter and would come off worst.. but I wouldn't be able to stop if I truly let my anger out... ... which scares the bejeezus out of me.

[Double Trouble]

Gus, I have know a few people who have been into martial arts, and in my opinion it isn't worth a jot!

Actually, some martial arts, such as as the one I have learnt, ju jit su, are brilliant for self defence. The idea is to hit soft targets. For example, if you side kick a knee, it will break very easlily, or if you are being attacked by someone and they are on top of you...put your thumbs in to the eye sockets and bury the eye balls in to the brain. You also learn technics to use your attackers strength against them.

Being armed with a glass or a chair doesn't always give you an advantage, if the person you are attacking knows what they are doing.

[stewart38]

Actually, some martial arts, such as as the one I have learnt, ju jit su, are brilliant for self defence. The idea is to hit soft targets. For example, if you side kick a knee, it will break very easlily, or if you are being attacked by someone and they are on top of you...put your thumbs in to the eye sockets and bury the eye balls in to the brain. You also learn technics to use your attackers strength against them.

Being armed with a glass or a chair doesn't always give you an advantage, if the person you are attacking knows what they are doing.

Generally speaking ‘teaching’ martial arts for safety is dangerous if it give women a false sense of security

Never forget a friend of mine in Poly days we had been practicing a lot when 4 guys kick the sh** out of him and he didn’t understand why the ‘techniques’ he learnt didn’t work

He been doing martial arts for 5yrs

[bigdjiver]

You beat me to it

I did have a bit more to say though - for a change

I had some decades more to tell of too, but I could not bring myself to try and follow Robert Burns. I remember at an authors group listening to a very worthy poem about how every man has his value despite his faults, and at the end of it wiping it from my mind with:

For a' that, and a' that, a man's a man, for a' that. It says everything, but apparently nothing, all at the same time.

Michaelangelo spent 14 years of his life fighting a court case. Obviously it was not full time, but what did that lost time cost the world?

I just look around. Everywhere I see that those that build have beaten those that destroy. Evil persists, but good prevails.

[Double Trouble]

Never forget a friend of mine in Poly days we had been practicing a lot when 4 guys kick the sh** out of him and he didn’t understand why the ‘techniques’ he learnt didn’t work. He been doing martial arts for 5yrs

I dare say I would get my ar5e kicked if 4 blokes had a go at me, but I could take you, S38, with my eye's closed and one hand tied behind my back.

[Raul]

Never forget a friend of mine in Poly days we had been practicing a lot when 4 guys kick the sh** out of him and he didn’t understand why the ‘techniques’ he learnt didn’t work

Real fights are messy ugly and over in a matter of seconds. No time for bowing to the opponent and the referee and no one will ask you if you are ready.

[bigdjiver]

Real fights are messy ugly and over in a matter of seconds. No time for bowing to the opponent and the referee and no one will ask you if you are ready.

... and, for my son, no chance for a rematch.

[Raul]

Michaelangelo spent 14 years of his life fighting a court case. Obviously it was not full time, but what did that lost time cost the world?

I just look around. Everywhere I see that those that build have beaten those that destroy. Evil persists, but good prevails.

Very wise words.

[Trouble]

I dare say I would get my ar5e kicked if 4 blokes had a go at me, but I could take you, S38, with my eye's closed and one hand tied behind my back.

she could you know, she beat me up the other day on a legs war game..... mind you i was two parts pi55ed one part sober.


Anyway, im a lover not a fighter.....

[Trouble]

I've got three words for you - Jacob, Isaac, Rebecca.

yeah i make ya right. Your kids do bring out my weaknesses i must say. Weak bladder, weak purse, weak heart, weak calmness. I still love em tho.