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Thread: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

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    Commercial Operator Swinging bee's Avatar
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    MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    I got to thinking recently about just how long does the whole MJ scene last in a person?
    When does it wane and people move on, if at all?
    Linda and I have been "at it" for eleven years and as of late our interests have moved on to Tango (2yrs) and ballroom whereby we have started running events.
    A whole new ball game, you might say, we still are involved in MJ, but it has taken somewhat of a back seat.
    The all powerfull obsession is no more.
    So what is it's shelf life for a person?

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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    That's a question that does enter my head every now and again that's usually answered by optimism. You never know exactly when you will have one of those magical nights when it all flows in the right direction. Even the nights when it feels less than perfect can still be incredibly rewarding.

    I do understand the transition between dance styles, especially Tango. The mind needs stimulation which then feeds imagination. When it feels like groundhog day, then your choices are to expand or move on.

    Speaking to other teachers, it's good to hear that quite a few have taken that route to extend their shelf life of interest within the Modern Jive scene. I'm thankful for my recent interest in the music as this has had a similar effect.

    I don't know how long it will be before I'm at the groundhog day stage. What I have noticed is that I'm enjoying my dancing more than ever and perhaps more importantly, enjoying the relaxed interaction between myself and others. I'm guessing there's a link between the two.

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    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    I recently thought I had reached the end of my dancing journey as it had become routine and I'd lost the fun. Trying other dance styles was having limited success (mainly because due to circs I couldn't actually get to go to regular classes and make progress). It got to the point where I went on a dance weekender and didn't dance at all on the Sat night and had to leave freestyles and regular nights before the end as I felt so depressed at yet another evening where I went with the hope of enjoying my dancing again but ended up with that flat 'is it ever going to be fun again?' feeling.

    I'm not saying I didn't have good dances during that time and I did still enjoy classes, workshops and practice with my dance partner, but it did really feel like dancing just wasn't 'fun' for me anymore.

    And that is the attraction of MJ. Other dances can lead us in different directions - I love the challenge, shape and playfulness of WCS. I love the fact that despite its complexity AT can feel so effortless at times and I can just melt into the dance. With MJ I love that its fun, and can be just as much fun with an enthusiastic beginner as with an experienced lead.

    Just this week I had a great night at Ceroc. I enjoyed every single dance. This has made a big difference to me. I know there might be times when I get that flat feeling again, but I also know that there will be those fun nights again.

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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    Apologies, I am trying to recover my songwriting mojo, and have been listening to a lot of 30's stuff on Radio Dismuke, so, with "you" being MJ:-

    while there's a band with a tune
    dancing 'neath a moon
    a smile everywhehere on view
    while there's stars up in the sky
    mom and apple pie
    Honey, there'll be me and you
    oh honey there'll be me and you

    all rights reserved

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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
    I recently thought I had reached the end of my dancing journey as it had become routine and I'd lost the fun. Trying other dance styles was having limited success (mainly because due to circs I couldn't actually get to go to regular classes and make progress). It got to the point where I went on a dance weekender and didn't dance at all on the Sat night and had to leave freestyles and regular nights before the end as I felt so depressed at yet another evening where I went with the hope of enjoying my dancing again but ended up with that flat 'is it ever going to be fun again?' feeling.

    I'm not saying I didn't have good dances during that time and I did still enjoy classes, workshops and practice with my dance partner, but it did really feel like dancing just wasn't 'fun' for me anymore.

    And that is the attraction of MJ. Other dances can lead us in different directions - I love the challenge, shape and playfulness of WCS. I love the fact that despite its complexity AT can feel so effortless at times and I can just melt into the dance. With MJ I love that its fun, and can be just as much fun with an enthusiastic beginner as with an experienced lead.

    Just this week I had a great night at Ceroc. I enjoyed every single dance. This has made a big difference to me. I know there might be times when I get that flat feeling again, but I also know that there will be those fun nights again.
    Very wise post

    I think that you should only do something while you are enjoying it. Once it becomes a chore you need to stop.

    With many sports you do less and less as you get better and better. When I used to fence I outgrew my local class. I could beat everyone too easily for it to be an enjoyable challenge, then the county became a bit too small and I found that I was travelling all over the place on a week night to find people who could beat me and provide me with a challenge. Fencing became more about driving and less about the actual sport Eventually I had to take a break due to a minor mountain biking injury and never felt the need to go back

    What I think I'm saying is that some of us need a challenge or something new. In the fencing I could have taken up coaching to provide me with another challenge. Or I could have found a new challenge outside the sport.

    MJ is something different as it's not expecially competitive. However, as you progress you start looking for better and better dances - and that requires better and better partners. I have a local friend who travels all over the place looking for those great partners. I did the same looking for those great teachers.

    What I think you need is change. One option is to change the dance. The other option is to find something new within the dance. For me it's been teaching and running venues, now it's teaching the teachers. Next it will be opening venues that I am not running on a night by night basis. Who knows what it could be next. Having my own dedicated MJ venue built from scratch? Franchising out my business? Getting IDTA recognition for MJ? Going global? Or, the greatest challenge of all: convincing Franck that "it doesn't matter which foot" is totally and utterly wrong

    So, to answer the question. MJ will last until you're fed up with it. When you become fed up will depend on your boredom threshold and your imagination in coming up with new things to enjoy about MJ. Keep doing the same thing and you will soon get bored and lose the magic.

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    Registered User jiveoholic's Avatar
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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    Gosh - this really rings true with me. I started 8 years ago and could not imagine EVER EVER not wanting to jive 24 hours a day. I conquored intermediates, workshops, holidays, airsteps conquored me, and then I found myself "going through the moves", going home early etc.

    I would agree that one's expectations and abilities rise and MJive is a "mixed ability thing" (expeically since one doesn't have to worry which foot one is on!!!) so you get less good dances.

    I think some get involved in the support of an evening, others move to different dances where is it not so "mixed ability" as the steps are more precise.

    What really gets me is the people that have been going for years and are still therel doing the same moves! They seem to be enjoying themselves, but I need something more.

    Having reached 50 , my "getting back my youth" has hit me so I am focussing on a 1/2 marathon instead! I do love jive at parties etc.

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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    Quote Originally Posted by jiveoholic View Post
    (expeically since one doesn't have to worry which foot one is on!!!)
    Don't you? You don't have to "worry" which foot you're on. With practice you will be on the correct foot. Do I hear you say, which foot is that? Read almost every post I've done for the answer

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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    Don't you? You don't have to "worry" which foot you're on. With practice you will be on the correct foot. Do I hear you say, which foot is that? Read almost every post I've done for the answer
    Sorry Andy, - just couldn't resist seeing what response I would get!

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    Registered User jiveoholic's Avatar
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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    But actually......it because the majority do not obey consistent rules that makes MJive mixed ability. I see a great dancer and I am useless with her. I try with a beginner and its great!

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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    Quote Originally Posted by jiveoholic View Post
    But actually......it because the majority do not obey consistent rules that makes MJive mixed ability. I see a great dancer and I am useless with her. I try with a beginner and its great!
    Of course "mixed ability" is another way of saying "not very good"

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    Registered User jiveoholic's Avatar
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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    Of course "mixed ability" is another way of saying "not very good"
    Quite the contrary. I find jive a very "Darwinian experience". There are strong leads and "lettuce leaves", there are those who triple step all over the place and those who plod, plod, plod. Those with Leroc feet and those with Ceroc feet. Those who bounce and the smoothies. There is thus variety. Some pairs work, others do not. I find that I can never predict whether a dance with a new lady will be fabulous or "thankyou for that dance - sorry I must change my shirt..."!

    In contrst, I was taught footwork and frame with both Salsa and WCS and found the experience much more consistent between partners - still there was a variation. Now I am not saying that this is either better or worse, just more consistent.

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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    Quote Originally Posted by jiveoholic View Post
    In contrast, I was taught footwork and frame with both Salsa and WCS and found the experience much more consistent between partners - still there was a variation. Now I am not saying that this is either better or worse, just more consistent.
    This lack of consistency in MJ is what I've been harping about (consistently ).
    All the time you have a dance school that's teaching MJ and saying "it doesn't matter which foot" you will have a dance that's done inconsitently - even by people who have only be taught by that one dance school.

    There's plenty of us teaching MJ with a frame and with "footwork". But there's many others teaching the moves and telling the ladies how to do the move as well as telling the men - this, of course, results in back-leading*.

    Speaking for myself, I dance MJ with hundreds of women, many of whom I haven't taught. Some dances are difficult because the lady has no idea about frame or footwork. I regard my objective as giving this lady a good dance and adjust my lead to take this into account. I usually find that the lady relaxes during the dance and I can start leading her properly. However I have had my failures - the most memorable of which was my leading a lady back and her stepping forward, completely opposite to my lead, sticking her nose in my eye and knocking out one of my contact lenses!

    On the subject of MJ addiction. I think we've asked the wrong question. The real question is "why do people do what Swinging Bee has done and have affairs with other dances?" This is a tongue in cheek question. I believe that we should all learn many dances. I think that the reason the question was asked was because there is an attitude within MJ that learning other dances and promoting other dances is, somehow, disloyal.

    The other question is "why do people leave MJ after a few years". I'm afraid there are many answers to this question. Some of them are about the need for structure, but, I think, these people are in the minority. The answer, for most people is probably due to factors in their life that have nothing to do with dance in general and MJ in particular.


    *btw, I've never seen or heard of Ceroc doing this - in case you were thinking I'm knocking Ceroc

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    Commercial Operator Swinging bee's Avatar
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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    This lack of consistency in MJ is what I've been harping about (consistently ).

    On the subject of MJ addiction. I think we've asked the wrong question. The real question is "why do people do what Swinging Bee has done and have affairs with other dances?" This is a tongue in cheek question. I believe that we should all learn many dances. I think that the reason the question was asked was because there is an attitude within MJ that learning other dances and promoting other dances is, somehow, disloyal.
    In a way you are correct in your asumption, it's almost like we are being disloyal in a way, if you get me drift, we will never, I would suggest, leave our roots. Last night we ran a do in Deal, bookings were meagre and as a result ...enthusiasm waned But how wrong can you be , it turned out to be a cracking night

    Maybe the mind set is that one is only as good as the last dance.. all better now
    But we are still looking forward to running our tango dance next weekend
    Last edited by Tiggerbabe; 8th-July-2007 at 05:02 PM. Reason: Fixing Quotes!

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    Re: MJ addiction,how long does it last?

    Quote Originally Posted by jiveoholic View Post
    Quite the contrary. I find jive a very "Darwinian experience". There are strong leads and "lettuce leaves", there are those who triple step all over the place and those who plod, plod, plod. Those with Leroc feet and those with Ceroc feet. Those who bounce and the smoothies. There is thus variety. Some pairs work, others do not. I find that I can never predict whether a dance with a new lady will be fabulous or "thankyou for that dance - sorry I must change my shirt..."!

    In contrst, I was taught footwork and frame with both Salsa and WCS and found the experience much more consistent between partners - still there was a variation. Now I am not saying that this is either better or worse, just more consistent.
    I'm a 'bouncer'! (Nothing to do with working at doors!)

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