What makes you approach someone for a dance?

[johnnyman]

I don't think there should be any set criteria in approaching someone to dance. If there are ladies who are new to the dancing, I try to make them relax into dancing and guide them through the moves. If they are ladies I have danced with for a while, you get a sense of what they are like anyway in terms of lead.

If you have been a regular dancer on the scene, you can judge people within two seconds of dancing with them whether they will be OK to dance with. I do know beginners have a tendency to sit out dances, or dance with the friends who have brought them to the evening. It's important in those circumstances to respect their space.

A good way of finding out whether somebody will dance with you is simply hang back at the side of the floor and wait for someone to ask you, but not to do that all the time, as it makes you look like somebody who doesn't like to dance at all.

[David Bailey]

I don't think there should be any set criteria in approaching someone to dance.

That's like saying "I don't think there should be any set criteria in who you find attractive" - it's just weird... Everyone has some criteria, even if it's something simple like proximity.

If you have been a regular dancer on the scene, you can judge people within two seconds of dancing with them whether they will be OK to dance with.

Well, I'd say rather that you can judge their relative level of ability / experience in that time - I've had plenty of dances that started out poorly but improved as time went on, so you can't really judge that well in a short time.

[whitetiger1518]

That's like saying "I don't think there should be any set criteria in who you find attractive" - it's just weird... Everyone has some criteria, even if it's something simple like proximity.

I agree with the proximity criteria - I will usually dance with anyone at least once so that I can judge if their style and mine do or will go together..

I think the proximity factor varies from person to person and also partner to partner ...
On Tuesday one guy was leading me into a couple of moves that I would have no problem with had other people been leading me. I couldn't work out what was wrong as the moves were not particularly close or blusey.

After being asked for a return dance and having the same moves led on me, with the same feeling of puzzlement (on my part) I can only put my feelings down to the fact that I didn't know him and the moves were being carried out too far into my personal space.

My personal space seems to vary depending on who is leading me... I have certainly danced those moves more closely into my personal space and to slower music with other dancers with no problem.(I can say this for dancers I have only met fleetingly as well as those I know well - Some of the best dances I got at Beach Ballroom were with dancers I had just met).

The feeling wasn't caused by passes being made or anything risque (you would have heard elbows or knees going crunch into soft anatomy if I had felt anywhere near that uncomfortable )

I suppose our dance styles were just not particularly compatible. Ah well I suppose I just keep looking for dancers who dance my style


Whitetiger

[Twirly]

Well, I'd say rather that you can judge their relative level of ability / experience in that time - I've had plenty of dances that started out poorly but improved as time went on, so you can't really judge that well in a short time.

I'd guess that an experienced lead can assess a follow pretty quickly, and have an idea of their level, and therefore what sort of moves it might be best to lead.

As a follow, it can sometimes take me a few moves (a third, maybe half a dance) to "get" the lead if I've not danced with them before/for a long time. The analogy of the lead/follow as being a conversation has been used before - think of this as the lead having an "accent", each one being slightly different, and the follow has to get to know the nuances of the accent in order to follow well.

[David Bailey]

I'd guess that an experienced lead can assess a follow pretty quickly, and have an idea of their level, and therefore what sort of moves it might be best to lead.

Sort of - but it's a bit more subtle than that I think.

I guess it's more that I know what kind of leads into moves will be best, rather than actual moves. So, for example, body leads (such as leads to cross-body, or Manhattan moves) would be inappropriate for a beginner, because they both require a certain level of following skill - a beginner* tends to try too interpret too hard, which can mess up those moves.

Whereas any lead into simple walking or wiggling, typically with a reasonable level of control, is always fine - for example, double-handed leads (into Hallelujahs, or baskets for example).

So it's more like adjusting your lead for beginners, rather than choosing a certain set of moves - although, of course, moves are led from leads, so it's not totally different.

The more experienced the follower, the more you can vary the lead. Which may mean more moves, but may also mean more ways of doing the same move.

Hmmm, hopefully that makes sense...

* Although I've danced with taxis and demos who simply can't follow before