Bill Gates Vs. Mike Ellard

[WittyBird]

At a Dance Incorporating Computer expo (DICEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the dance industry mainly Ceroc and stated: "If Ceroc had kept up with the day and age like the computer industry has, we would all be dancing like Fred Astaire after a $7 lesson that got 1,000 minutes to the hour."

In response to Bill's comments, Mike Ellard issued a press release (by Mr E himself) stating:

If Ceroc had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be dancing with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason at all, you would crash into somebody else every 30 seconds.

2. Every time they re polished the floor, you would have to buy new dance shoes and reinstall a partner.

3. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as an Octopus would cause your partner to shut down and refuse to dance, and you would have to reinstall the lead – follow and footwork technique.

4. When your feet started hurting for no reason, you would just accept this, change shoes, partner and download a better dance.

5. Only one person at a time could use the DJ, unless you bought 'DJ95' , ‘ DJ97, or 'DJNT', and then added more seats/dancers.You would have to reinstall 'bettermusic07'

6. Le Apple would make a dance powered by the jivers addiction, reliable, five times as enjoyable, and twice as easy to do, but would run on only 5% of the venues but only downloadable within about 10 hours.

7. Office, exchange and temperature would be replaced by a single 'tampax bounce' warning light,increasing with lite, regular,super,super + but with also a tampax maxi requiring extra extra padding.

8. New seats would force every-one to have the same dance slot.

9. The Airbag would say 'do you really wanna dance with him/her?' before going off until you refuse.

10. Occasionally, for no reason, your partner would lock you out and refuse to let you lead until you simultaneously lifted the left hand, turned the wrist, and grabbed the right tit.

11. MS would require all users to also purchase a deluxe set of unleadable dance moves/codes from ******* ****** (a foreign upgrade/downgrade ) even though they neither need them nor want them. Trying to delete this option would immediately cause the dancer's performance to diminish by 50%or more. Moreover, ******* ****** would become a target for investigation by the software and Bullying Department.

12. Every time ******* ****** introduced a new move, dancers would have to learn how to jive over again because none of the signals would operate in the same manner as the old move or dancer which would cause failure within dancers.

13. You would do a semi circle to stop the dance.

I thank you and hope you enjoyed this ripoff by the WB xx

[Caz]

loved this WB