Building a community

[SuzyQ]

This has probably been discussed countless times ... but feeling quite passionate about it at the moment ... so thought I'd start a thread cos I'm interested in your opinions.

Dancing makes up about 90% of my social life and I'm always harping on to my non-dancing friends about how wonderful the dancing community is.

But ... sometimes I end up having a bad night ... feeling on the fringe of it all. So, result ... I've been thinking of ways I can make sure that I welcome new people into the bosom of our community (Fletch ... prepare yourself ).

Thoughts that have crossed my mind:

Sharing lifts (always nice to have a group to go home with and chat about the night) - anyone live near Bracknell?!

Somewhere to stay (Witty takes this to the extreme ). Am shooting distance from London ... so any visitors welcome (probably best to limit this to girls (or boys I know well - not THAT well). Unfortunately it is a small flat so only room for 1 at a time!

Walking lone females to cars - am up for escorting lone females to their cars - please ask. When I first started dancing I had a bit of a stalking issue so all the lovely couples from my class in Cardiff used to make sure someone checked I got to my car and away from the venue without being followed - they were soooo lovely.

Telling people about the forum (took me ages to discover the delights of this on-line community!)

Looking out for each other is a hard one to cover cos pretty general. But am gonna make a concerted effort to look out for people who seem not to be involved/dancing much/having a good time.

[JiveLad]

Yes - agree with all of this.

One immediate issue I have found is just to connect with forum members at a Ceroc/MJ event.

For example, at Berko last night, there were forumites there - and maybe I even danced with one or 2..........who knows? I may have even talked to some........?? I just don't know....

I once thought I recognised someone from the forum at Cheshunt - and turns out I was wrong - and she didn't thank me for it - so just asking ("by the way are you on the forum?" is a non-starter) - and posting a photo isn't necessarily that close a likeness (I was sure it was someone I had seen in the forum). Of course it might just come up naturally..........in which case, fine.

It's ok if you have a starting point (eg. Fletch) - who can then just point out a few others - and so you start the ball rolling (as per Ice - thanks Fletch).

Anyway, it is not my first priority - that will always be to enjoy the dancing - but at the same time, it would be nice to know if a partner is on the forum.

[Lynn]

One immediate issue I have found is just to connect with forum members at a Ceroc/MJ event.

This changed my experiences of dancing, esp at weekenders. I probably would have hung round with the crowd from NI and not spent as much time in the other rooms. Now of course I'm happy enough to go to a weekend by myself, hang out in any of the rooms and dance with strangers, but at my first few weekenders it was really nice to meet other forumites (thanks to Bardsey and Minnie esp), particularly to meet others who were as passionate about dancing as I was.

Probably because I'm a taxi, I already do look out for new people at my local venue and if they're on their own, might try to introduce them to a few other people.

I've stayed with dancers when visiting different venues and had dancers stay with me.

I think all this already happens, but its nice to take time to appreciate it, and not take it for granted.

[StokeBloke]

The forum is kind of strange in as much as it is a sub-culture of a sub-culture. Are you thinking of maybe thinking of way of intergrating the forum members into the whole Ceroc thing in a more visable way? Or are you talking about promoting Ceroc in general more to the muggles? I think I read that people wore wrists bands at one point to identify themselves at venues.

I kind of like being anonymous when asking girls to dance to be honest. That way you start off without any preconcieved ideas. I can see the plus sides of offering lifts, and spare rooms etc....

[SuzyQ]

Wouldn't really want to be identified as a forumite (cos that could feel a bit exclusive to people who haven't discovered the forum yet) ... just mean building community among dancers who see each other quite often. Looking out for each other, being welcoming, encouraging each other ...

[Shodan]

Me and my dance friends always share lifts to various dance events. It makes sense really and it can be really social especially if you all go for a drink afterwards.
It also means that you can chat with your dance friends, as I find that chatting and catching up with my friends at a dance session is quite hard as everyone is too busy dancing.

I also sometimes walk lone females home/cars as well, just to make sure they are ok. *cough* and get their phone numbers....

I would say anyone is welcome to stay at my place as anyone is welcome. But the truth of the matter is my place is a manky rental hole and I wouldnt wish it on anyone.

[under par]

just mean building community among dancers who see each other quite often. Looking out for each other, being welcoming, encouraging each other ...

couldn't agree more! this is what majority of mjers and forumites do already....


What a good community spirit doesn't need is pernicious accusative members saying how exclusive/elite/cliquey some of the community members are each and every time a large group get together.
It's negative and causes upset.


So lets have more positive community spirit and the live and let live attitude ... we are all supposed to be having fun remember

[Freya]

Sometimes it's nice to feel like you belong somewhere and other times it's nice to just be Anonymous (sp?).

Some people will offer up their floors/sofas to others and some won't. likewise with lifts. I've been known to make my own way to things so that I can turn up and leave when I want. I think I'm fortunate in Aberdeen as I live about 5 mins walk from 2 of the nights and have made some really good friends who will give me lifts to the other night. We tend to have tea together first as well!

Also I will get walked home by friends or lifts at the end of the night because its dark etc.

I feel that dancing is as much a "Community" as it'll ever be. If you moved somewhere new then you make an effort to meet people and take an active roll in the Community or you feel like an outsider and I think it's the same in Dancing.

I've had lovely people all over the UK put me up, look after me, give me lifts to and from things and they Know (I hope) that I do the same in return when I'm able. If anyone is ever in Aberdeen...

You have to be pro-active unfortunately sitting on your bottom and waiting for the community to come to you will do nothing. Also you have to accept that we are all individuals. sometimes we will not feel as social or able to recomend ourselves to others. and that we each have our own friends.

I'm not being negative and I feel that your comments are all good sugestions but I feel they are already happening as much as they will.

[SuzyQ]

What a good community spirit doesn't need is pernicious accusative members saying how exclusive/elite/cliquey some of the community members are each and every time a large group get together.
It's negative and causes upset.

Personally I think honesty goes a long way in a community. If we only interact with each other with our 'everything is perfect I always have a good time and nothing is wrong in life' mask on then we end up not really engaging with each other. It wouldn't be a true community ... and the friendships would be entirely superficial. (Psychologist talking )

Although I'm not advocating losing the idea of having fun and most stuff being entirely daft and trivial ... we could all make it more fun for each other by looking out for each other!

[under par]

Although I'm not advocating losing the idea of having fun and most stuff being entirely daft and trivial ... we could all make it more fun for each other by looking out for each other!

Like we do mostly already

[under par]

great post by Freya.

All Freya said with knobs on

[WittyBird]

I always try to make everyone feel welcome and go out of my to introduce people around. If someone is going somewhere alone, I try to arrange to meet them etc. I think we all do this as much as we can.

[SuzyQ]

Witty, you are fab at this ... complete diamond

[TurboTomato]

Witty, you are fab at this ... complete diamond

I can vouch for that, Witty took me under her wing and spent half an evening introducing me to everyone at the first event I went to where there were a lot of forumites (I'll have probably have forgotten half of them by the next time, so I'll make my apologies now )

[BeccaB]

Feb will be my first experience of meeting forumites. I hope I will as I'm sharing with one so I'll be the person no one recognises at all. Can't wait to meet you all tho.

[Freya]

Is that Southport Becca?

I'll be there! Hope to meet you! There will probably be a Foum Gathering with trampy DJing! So we'll all be in one room for at least a while!

Oh are we being Cliquey and exclusive again!

Oh there was a BBQ back in sept as well which everyone's welcome at but it'll probably be too cold for that this time!

[SuzyQ]

Feb will be my first experience of meeting forumites. I hope I will as I'm sharing with one so I'll be the person no one recognises at all. Can't wait to meet you all tho.

I will be there too Becca - can't miss me - I'm 6'2"!!!
SuzyQ

[BeccaB]

yeah Southport I'll be at.
I'll get a name badge shall I? or I'll probably be the quiet one till I get some drinks down me!
No one from my neck of the woods is going as far as I know so I'm venturing out on my lonesome this time!

[SuzyQ]

Babe - no need to wait to get drinks down your neck before you meet me
Seriously .. me and my pal Sarah will be there and you are more than welcome to spend as much or as little time with us ! Unless you are a psycho (but I don't get that impression ).

[BeccaB]

Babe - no need to wait to get drinks down your neck before you meet me
Seriously .. me and my pal Sarah will be there and you are more than welcome to spend as much or as little time with us ! Unless you are a psycho (but I don't get that impression ).

That's really nice of you thanks
No I'm far from psycho as calm as they come I am!