Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

  1. #1
    Commercial Operator StokeBloke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Stoke-on-Trent
    Posts
    2,366
    Rep Power
    10

    The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    OK - here's how this one works (stick with me it sounds dull but is worth the effort)... go to Amazon, find a classic, critically acclaimed title CD, book, movie, whatever... go to customer reviews and sort them by lowest rating first. Great hilarity often ensues.

    Let me get the ball rolling with...
    The Beatles - "White Album" which is.....
    • The Beatles are one of the most overrated bands of all time. They are overrated, lame, stupid, and lousy. Each and every song except BIRTHDAY is bad, especially the horrible WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS. Avoid all the Beatles and get Nirvana Nevermind insted.
    Remember kids, the idea of the game is not to start a fight, but to witness true idiocy in motion.... ohhh and who could resist.....

    Charles Dickens - A Tale of Two Cities
    • dont buy this book! Or buy it and tear it in two pieces because it is much to long. Wow I mean talk about boreing. Is it the best of times or is it the worst of times? You cant make up you're mind on page one sentence one even!?!

      If I am this guys editer I would have told him to just write about the best of times. Thats plenty and people dont need another depressing book in this day and age anyhow.

      Only ONE STAR for you but keep trying youll get there!
    Happy hunting, please post your best finds here ....

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    St. Albans
    Posts
    2,388
    Rep Power
    9

    Re: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    This is one on the Bible from Amazon:

    "I picked this book up after seeing it recently in the men's room of a topless bar. First off, the cover is very uninteresting - nothing but the title, as well as the Author, King J. Version. I have never heard of this King Version guy, but I figured I'd give it a read.
    It's pretty obvious that huge parts of this novel are lifted directly from Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land, and others come right out of Harry Potter novels. I have no idea why this King Version guy hasn't been sued up one side of the street and down the other. There are even parts of the Star Wars and Matrix serieses in there!
    The plot rambles all over the place, and by the third chapter it's turned into a sodden mess. It's pretty much a sure bet that The Holy Bible was a self-published work - this manuscript needed at least 5 or 6 professional proofreads, and the story suffers for the typos and bad grammar. For instance, the character Cain, who is a bit of a villain for the first chapter, goes off and gets married when he's supposedly one of the first children and was banished. One of the most glaring mistakes is where the narrator states that bats are members of the bird family.
    If you're into this kind of genre, you may like it. I find it slightly less palatable than a Star Trek novelization. Also, as a piece of trivia, it appears that one of the chapters in here was actually made into a full-length feature movie with Mel Gibson in it. Talk about friends in high places, I guess."

  3. #3
    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    The Beoverse
    Posts
    7,985
    Rep Power
    13

    Re: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    On "The Origin of the species"

    Hitler's Favorite Book, August 8, 2006

    Where's the subtitle of this very effective book? Did the modern editors simply take it away? Darwin titled his book: "The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection" and subtitled it: "The Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life."

    When Hitler came to power in 1933, he had one overarching idea in mind: his radical Nazi racial philosophy built on the Darwinian principle of natural selection. Hilter thought the Aryans were the fittest and he wanted to help speed up the "inevitability" of natural selection. He first started off with the sterilization of nine categories of "the unfit" which were feebleminded, schizophrenia, manic depression, Huntington's chorea, epilepsy, hereditary body deformities, deafness, hereditary blindness and alcoholism. He then worked his way up to attempting the complete extermination of entire categories and entire races of people.

    Speaking of modern day little Hitlers, the Columbine High School shooters carried out their bloody rampage on Hilter's birthday, April 20th, and had planned on causing more than 500 deaths at the high school. Shooter Eric Harris had written on his website, "YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE??? Natural SELECTION! It's the best thing that ever happened to the Earth. Getting rid of all the stupid and weak organisms." After the bloody rampage, Harris' autopsy report revealed that he was wearing a T-shirt with the words "Natural Selection" emblazoned on the front.

    Beware of those who hold this book dear to their hearts. This book is not about man descending from the apes. The ideas in this book have caused and continue to cause more deaths than any other notion in modern history.

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Glasgow
    Posts
    2,119
    Rep Power
    9

    Re: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    Jane Eyre on Amazon. com - Is definitely not my opinion

    Whitetiger



    2 of 24 people found the following review helpful:
    Makes for good toilet paper..., August 31, 2005
    Reviewer: J. C. Pique - See all my reviews
    (REAL NAME)
    When I ran across this title, and its lack of negative comments, I had anything but a loss for words. I will save you the bulk of my complaint, suffice it to say: I was not entertained by this work. Boring does not begin to describe this drawn out waist of bookshelf space. I got more enjoyment out of mocking the work with friends than reading it. So there you have it. I would rather fornicate with sheep than re-read this book.
    Last edited by whitetiger1518; 18th-January-2007 at 01:14 PM. Reason: Forgot to sign :)

  5. #5
    Papa Smurf
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Planet Scathe
    Posts
    12,528
    Blog Entries
    6
    Rep Power
    18

    Re: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    A sensitive soul who takes umbridge at Monthy Pythons "Life of Brian" because of hard to understand words.

    THIS ONE'S A LOSER. IF YOU WANT TO THROW YOUR MONEY AWAY, TOSS IT OFF A BRIDGE. THE MOVIE ATTEMPTS TO BE FUNNY BUT THE WORDS ARE HARD TO UNDERSTAND AND IT IS MINDLESS, BRAINLESS GIBBERISH.
    and this man, who doesn't like "unnesicary" nudes, or the "confusing experiences" the main character had to endure. He also somehow is offended by "whole messiah thing" even though he is "not a religious person". By the tone, perhaps it is the depiction of messiahs in the film he has a problem with, not all messiahs everywhere!

    The film centers around Brian, a person whom a group of people think is the Messiah(Wish I could spell it right). He then goes on all sorts of confusing experiences, although I fould little intrest in any of them. To me, the main problem with life of Brian is that it just isint funny. If you are looking for a Holy Grailesq comedy film, then I recommend you should look elseware. All but a few of the jokes fall flat(The ones that survive include the stoning sequence and the spaceship).

    Even though the Pythons have defended this film, saying that it is NOT an attack on Christianity, I still find it quite offensive, I am not a religious person, and the whole messiah thing offends me. Oh, and what was up with the completly unnesicary sequence where one of the pythons show up completely nude?
    point. missed.

  6. #6
    Commercial Operator StokeBloke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Stoke-on-Trent
    Posts
    2,366
    Rep Power
    10

    Re: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
    J. K. Rowling is STINK!!!
    Do you all know what I'm talking about? This page is DULL. She never had such a good creativity. All about learning magic like in normal school, same Great Hall, same sorting Hat in every book. Doesn't this keep you all boring, even no epic adventure in there. Not like in the Lord of the Rings, Tolkien has the real creativity than Rowling. Tolkien's book isn't a dull, there much adventure with Frodo Baggins and the One Ring. I say, Rowling has a bit copied from Tolkien's, like Albus Dumbledore from Gandalf, Aragog from Shelob, and Dobby from Smeagol the Gollum creature. If you are also the reader of LOTR, you probably know about this. In short, Rowling IS dull with her books. For those still have the chance to burn Harry Potter books out of your mind then buy a book from Tolkien to start reading.
    Pure genius

  7. #7
    Papa Smurf
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Planet Scathe
    Posts
    12,528
    Blog Entries
    6
    Rep Power
    18

    Re: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone Pure genius
    such abuse of the English language

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Bristol
    Posts
    3,166
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    maybe this should be on the Tango thread

    My boyfriend and I rented this because of its sexy reputation but, as usual with so-called 'erotic masterpieces', there's very little for the ladies to get excited about.
    The men get Maria Schneider wandering about in the altogether for most of the film. WE get mumbling misogynist Marlon, in his dirty Mac.
    In fact, the whole subtext of the film is pretty anti-women, the basic premise is that really, nubile young girls love being sexually assualted by miserable old men who are persistantly unpleasant to them.
    I'm told that this is a masterful study of middle-aged male grief. My feeling is that if middle aged men are this disagreeable, why should I care how they feel

  9. #9
    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    The Beoverse
    Posts
    7,985
    Rep Power
    13

    Re: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    here's a short one

    "Prose that would make a Dungeons and Dragon novel blush, boring , narcissistic characters, plot goes nowhere...1 star"

    what's the book you may ask? Ian Livingston's Fighting fantasy number #102 ? Nope.. only DUNE by Frank Herbert

    Classic epic sci-fi compared against D&D and losing? sigh, some people....

  10. #10
    The Forum Legend
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Nottingham
    Posts
    10,672
    Rep Power
    14

    Re: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    Quote Originally Posted by whitetiger1518 View Post
    I would rather fornicate with sheep than re-read this book.
    Must be an Aberdonian reader then!

  11. #11
    Papa Smurf
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Planet Scathe
    Posts
    12,528
    Blog Entries
    6
    Rep Power
    18

    Re: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTramp View Post
    Must be an Aberdonian reader then!
    ...cough..Welsh...cough...

  12. #12
    Commercial Operator
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Hastings
    Posts
    4,386
    Blog Entries
    2
    Rep Power
    10

    Re: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    From eminems curtain call

    i had the MOST unfortunate chance to ride with two individuals yesterday who popped this piece of drivel into the CD player. GOD, i have NEVER wanted to be DEAF before ... but during the HELLISH playing of this crud, i truly wished for a cease to my hearing abilities.

    i can't figure this moron out. From the beginning, i heard him gripe and moan about not having a father (excuse me whilst i wipe a tear away), practically BEGGING for a pity party. The next song, he proclaims to be a Bad*ss, who's gonna kick yer *ss. Which is it, Marshall?

    The "Toy Soldiers" rip-off was a laughable attempt at being vocal on current issues (wow, M&M says the war is unjust, so it must be true!!) The chorus portion of the song was sped up to some ridiculous speed to match the "tempo" of his ramblings. Jeez, this song was so STUPID it made my teeth hurt.

    Then, there was the mangling of Heart's "Crazy on You". Again, the sample was sped up to where Ann Wilson sounded like Alvin the Chipmonk.

    There were other songs on here that, if it were not for the melodies of the songs he was ripping off, he couldn't have found his way out of a songwriting paper sack.

    He then proceded to ramble on about how "controversial" he is and how people (prolly people like ME) are "afraid" of him and "offended" by him. Get this straight, M&M, you are not even on my "i give a rat's behind" radar. The only reason i am writing this review is because i was FORCED to sit through your poorly written and contrived CD.

    So, in closing, this disc is animal fodder. It is not fit to hang from a low-rider's rearview mirror. This disc is a waste of technology.

    BAD, BAD, BAD attempt at "rapping", folks. Forced rhymes, out of tempo ramblings. Just BAD. GOD, it was BAD.

    Bad.

    Bad, bad ... and uh ... BAD.
    Think he finds this cd Bad.


    i went camping 1 day and i got lost with this cd the book didnt tell me where to go in the mountains where i got lost 4 two days this album is a disgrace to this eminem fan that was lost....i hope ur happy eminem this is dedicated to you i hope you read this report.....
    What? you brought this cd instead of a map then expected to find your way about the mountains?

    Toro: Hey Pancho, I don't like that whinky gringo phlEghMINEM! Pancho: Si Toro, he is one whiny sniffly loser who sounds like Porky Pig without the stutter. Toro: This loser makes fun and disrespects alot of people from Moby to Ja Rule to President Bush. Pancho: Yet when people make fun of him, he gets hissy like a girlie! Toro: I wished this gringo was shots dead and not the dude from D12. Pancho: Si Toro, if Marshall Redneck died, it would be one less b*tch rapper we has to deals with. VAMINOS FROM THIS STUPIDO GRINGO!
    This what ESG's doing these days?

    if you want to hear a man complain about his wife and kids, you should become a therapist...it beats listening to this garbage.
    My thoughts exactly
    Last edited by Lee Bartholomew; 24th-January-2007 at 03:05 PM.

  13. #13
    Papa Smurf
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Planet Scathe
    Posts
    12,528
    Blog Entries
    6
    Rep Power
    18

    Re: The Amazon Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

    eminems "curtain call" is "a classic, critically acclaimed title CD" - thats news to me

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. 5 letter word game
    By Swinging bee in forum Fun and Games
    Replies: 5444
    Last Post: 21st-October-2009, 01:57 PM
  2. ::The Game::
    By azande in forum Fun and Games
    Replies: 442
    Last Post: 8th-June-2009, 12:39 PM
  3. Diving monkey game
    By Little Monkey in forum Fun and Games
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 24th-December-2006, 11:35 AM
  4. Dice Dancing - it's a dangerous game...
    By Get a grip in forum Let's talk about dance
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 14th-September-2006, 11:08 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •