Mea culpa

[Wouldbe]

One of my pet hates is rudeness (how original, I know) - people who don't apologise when they've inconvenienced you, people who don't thank you or otherwise acknowledge when you've gone out of your way to do something nice for them, however small, etc etc.

Unfortunately, this seems to be so deep-grained in me that I apologise even when something wasn't my fault. This has its advantages, for example as a defence mechanism for avoiding confrontation. However, it does annoy me sometimes, when I think "Hang on a minute. It should've been him/her that said that!"

For me, this extends into the world of dance. I try really hard not to catapult my partner into someone else, not to seduce them (you know what I mean!) so as to trip someone up and not to hitch-kick someone's eye out. Why do I feel compelled to say "Sorry" when I'm the victim of this then?!

Does anyone else find this, or am I completely alone on this one?! Do you do this in the "real world" [def: reality, such that exists beyond the confines of the Ceroc dancefloor] too?

[Gav]

If I'm not sure I'll err on the side of caution and apologise. It doesn't hurt me to apologise and if it was my fault it's only right that I should.
I used to apologise even when I knew it was their fault, because I'm a beginner and it therefore probably was my fault in some way that I'm not aware of, but I don't do that any more. I now have the confidence to know when an accident was not my fault.
However, I do get annoyed sometimes when it was obviously someone elses fault and they make no attempt to apologise. I try to lessen the annoyance by reminding myself that I am a better person than they are simply because I choose to use my manners. It usually works.

[JiveLad]

Yes - you are not alone.

And it is a common trait - and was a part of the book 'Watching the English' by Kate Fox....a few years ago......why we often say 'sorry' on the street when someone has bumped into us - and it wasn't our fault.

[Magic Hans]

Point of order your honour!!

Saying sorry, apologising and acknowledging are (IMHO) are three different things.

I am always looking to acknowledge my fellow human being ... even if in the street [sadly all too rare in our modern fast and unfeeling world ... leaving me feeling sad and sorry]

Although saying sorry implies acknowledgement it doesn't neccessarily have to.

I object to apologising for something that I did not do, but might feel (and say) sorry for someone else's ignorance, lack of awareness and/or clumsiness.

So there!!!

[Lee Bartholomew]

I never appologise. I'm sorry, but thats just the way I am.

[Little Monkey]

I probably say sorry too often. I say sorry if other people bump into me in the street, and I say sorry if I miss a dance move, even if it was very badly led by my partner. Very silly, but it's a built in thing.

If I'm feeling a bit low, or a bit insecure, I say sorry A LOT.

Sorry....

[Lynn]

I probably say sorry too often. I say sorry if other people bump into me in the street, and I say sorry if I miss a dance move, even if it was very badly led by my partner. Very silly, but it's a built in thing.

Me too.

Sorry.

[TheTramp]

I used to say sorry all the time. But now, if it's not my fault, I don't bother.

Especially to the people who bump into you when you're not actually moving at the time. Some collisions are almost inevitable on a crowded floor, but some, well, let's not go there.

If it's my fault, or just 'one of those things', then I apologise

[Beowulf]

I say sorry for everything.. I'll even say sorry for saying sorry (sorry )

I've even been told I'm bad for having a really good dance with someone then apologising for it. I think i'm just pre-conditioned to apologise for everything.

Global warming? Sorry about that.. I did forget to turn my PC off last night!
Rising Crime Rate? Sorry about that too.. I did once stick a stamp with the Queens head on upside down.
etc..

[Double Trouble]

You bunch of girls.......!

If I'm dancing and someone elbows me...gets in my space or steps on my foot, there's no way I would say sorry.

I hate floor hogs who think its Ok to 'do their thing' on a a packed dance floor. A firm, quick bitch slap would be more in order....not an apology.

[Dizzy]

I probably say sorry too often. I say sorry if other people bump into me in the street, and I say sorry if I miss a dance move, even if it was very badly led by my partner. Very silly, but it's a built in thing.

If I'm feeling a bit low, or a bit insecure, I say sorry A LOT.

Sorry....

I am exactly like that too - sorry!!

I find myself saying sorry all the time during dances and I really get annoyed with myself if I miss moves or don't do what I am supposed to. I know that I can annoy my dance partners aswell with the amount of apologising I do and have even turned into a game (ChrisA )

[JiveLad]

Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift (ref: Margaret Lee Runbeck)

[Beowulf]

I know that I can annoy my dance partners as well with the amount of apologising I do

Trampy are you listening? it's not just me Trampy !!!

[Gadget]

I say "sorry" because any collision I have (or my partner has) on the dance floor is my fault. At least in part:
When on the dance floor I should be aware of all the dancers in proximity and roughly how they are moving. I should be in control of myself and my partner to avoid any collisions - whether this is being in the way or moving into someone else's path. If I fail in this, then a collision occurs. My failing. My appology.
If someone's dancing like a nutter close by, then I can choose to dance next to them, or choose to dance in another part of the floor. :shrug: My choice - I have assessed the risks of collision and chosen to dance here.

It's a part of "floorcraft" - how to move through a dance floor, how to use space on the dance floor and how to dance with consideration to other dancers. I don't think that there are any specific workshops on it* - it's learned from experiance. "The school of hard knocks" {<- pun}

(* I'm sure this has been discussed: the consensus was that anyone interested in it would probably not be the people in need of it )

[TheTramp]

I say "sorry" because any collision I have (or my partner has) on the dance floor is my fault. At least in part:
When on the dance floor I should be aware of all the dancers in proximity and roughly how they are moving. I should be in control of myself and my partner to avoid any collisions - whether this is being in the way or moving into someone else's path. If I fail in this, then a collision occurs. My failing. My appology.

And if you happen to be standing still at the time??

[Gadget]

And if you happen to be standing still at the time??

The dance floor forms a moving entity where you expect everyone to either be moving into a space or out of a space; if you dissrupt this ebb and flow by being a rock in the middle, some waves are going to crash into you rather than flow around you.

If you see someone moving towards you on an imminent collission and you decide to stay in their path; is it your fault or theirs?

[Twirly]

The dance floor forms a moving entity where you expect everyone to either be moving into a space or out of a space; if you dissrupt this ebb and flow by being a rock in the middle, some waves are going to crash into you rather than flow around you.

If you see someone moving towards you on an imminent collission and you decide to stay in their path; is it your fault or theirs?

Sometimes there's nowhere to go...

What about if you're standing at the edge and can't move further back, or sitting down. I've had my feet trodden on by people careering towards me when I've been sitting down before now.

[Gadget]

What about if you're standing at the edge and can't move further back, or sitting down.

That's half the reason for not standing on the dance floor or at the edge of it: dance floor = for dancing. Standing (sitting) at the edge - you know the risks; weigh up if the advantage of being there against the possability of being in the way.
I would also recommend not sitting with your feet on the dance floor. Danger to your feet and the dancers.

{Never found a problem with being trod or bashed while I was 'standing' or 'sitting' myself (except possably at the bar in some venues)}

[Gav]

Floorcraft is a skill and a consideration that we should all be aiming for (and like most, I still have a lot to learn), but I've been to places where I felt that I was the only one trying.
When you're on a packed dance floor being hit from all sides despite your best efforts and you can see 3 or 4 people not looking before they fling their partner in your direction, well I'm not bloody well apologising to them all and the only way to avoid them all would be to suddenly learn to levitate or not dance.
In that particular case, I apologised to my partner and suggested that we find somewhere better to dance, but it never happened. Sometime I may have been determined to not let the inconsiderate ruin my night, but that night they did.

[Twirly]

That's half the reason for not standing on the dance floor or at the edge of it: dance floor = for dancing. Standing (sitting) at the edge - you know the risks; weigh up if the advantage of being there against the possability of being in the way.
I would also recommend not sitting with your feet on the dance floor. Danger to your feet and the dancers.

{Never found a problem with being trod or bashed while I was 'standing' or 'sitting' myself (except possably at the bar in some venues)}

So where are you supposed to go whilst not dancing to the odd track? Float in mid-air?!

I don't want to go to the bar area as it's full of smoke, and no-one is going to ask me to dance to the next track whilst I'm in there, and I can't assess whom I might like to ask to dance either.

Admitedly it's mainly happened in Wessex House, where there are seats right on the edge of the dance floor.