[QUOTE=Dai;325191]On 31st - at Berko - i asked lots of people for dances, and everyone that i didn't know, and had never danced with before turned me down - bar three people.
Could have asked me!!!!!
[QUOTE=Dai;325191]On 31st - at Berko - i asked lots of people for dances, and everyone that i didn't know, and had never danced with before turned me down - bar three people.
Could have asked me!!!!!
I WILL take Dai to the Midlands to dance, but StokeBloke you speak as a male lead and from your experence,which IMO is much, Witty all but NEAVER gets asked for a dance and I know Dai will not only NOT be asked for a dance she WILL get refused, I had to watch my very good freind BARMPOT be destroyed by these so called freindly Stafford dancers, who IMO are far more 'Hotshot' than anyone I know in London
embrase the differnce, live and let live
How did I know that as soon as I said a good word about Midland venues Fletch would pop up to stamp all over them... and I tried saying it quietly as well - ho hum
There is just a tiny possibility that other people's experience of dance venues may differ from yours Fletch. But with you as a guide, with your positive attitude and friendly outlook, how could Dai possibly go wrong?
and hears me thinking that with all your other venue experence you are in a position to comment
and don't bother trying to say things quietly, if you have somithing to say, say it stand by it, or apologise if your wrong. I do
Perhaps you should ask otheres about my attitude, I would welcome ANY comments, by indervidual that actually know me in person about just that!
perhaps you might travel to another venue some day, I will be at Bromsgrove 'T' dance this Sunday, I don't suppose you will be, or it might get frowned on
Perhaps you should ask otheres about my attitude, I would welcome ANY comments, by indervidual that actually know me in person about just that!
I LIKE YOU FLETCH. IVE NEVER BEEN TURNED DOWN BY YOU
I just say it as I see it Fletch
I can't really comment on a lot of what you are saying because in all honesty I don't understand what you are talking about lots of the time. I can sense that there is a lot of old history with you and the venues where I dance..... as I have not seen you in all the months I have been dancing I guess it's happened before I started Cerocing.
I just wish that you could be happy for me and the hundreds of other dancers who are having fun at these venues even if you had a different experience (I saw Barmpot dancing at Wolverhampton last week - I must say hello next time). The dancers at these venues are a very friendly bunch, in spite of what you seem to constantly suggest.
You talk about experience, but where is your experience of me, my attitude, my dance ettiquette, my ability? You have never once been to a venue that I have been at, yet you are tarring me with the 'nasty, unfriendly, hotshot' brush you seem all too happy to wave about when you speak about venues that I persoanlly attend.
I do my best to live and let live, as bile and vitriol don't really suit my easy going personality. I still hope that I will get to dance with you one day, but as I have said previously, weekends are out for me due to other commitments. This does restrict my ability to travel to far flung venues at present. Who knows when that may change
Have fun and keep on dancing StokeBloke
No you don't know, so why keep Stoke...ing the fire
all the months ???? how many months 2/3 is it now so in such a short space of time you can comment the way you do?
and this freindly bunch....yes some of my best friends still dance at these venues, but if you had been around for a while, which you haven't, you would know that I don't agree with, inderviduals been 'left out''refussed' etc beacause there are in some way 'a bit different' there are people in the Midlands that do this.....as i'm sure people do all over the country, I just carn't stand by and watch and say nothing
I am happy for you as I am for myself after all it if it wasn't for these venues I wouldn't be dancing
I'm not realy sure why you seem to be twisting what I say, I havn't said YOU are a 'hotshot' or nasty I speek as I find and I don't know you.
Ho! and rest assured I WILL keep dancing
Well - what can i say - can't wait!! Bring on the refusals!!!
In all the months that you have been dancing - how long is that now? Ceroc is unfortunately very clicky - and there is always going to be history and bad feelings about things - but that is just normal, you will get used to it. There will always be people that dont get on, in every aspect of life, not just ceroc - not a lot we can do about that.
Everybody thinks that their venue is the best - i have been dancing for three years now, and until i went to camber sept/oct i had never danced outside of my local venues. Since then i returned to my local venues again, and ventured as far as oxford for the first time in december. Now guided by friends i have attended probabaly as many freestyles these last three weeks as i have all year. But i will still go back to Northampton and say how wonderful that venue is - its my venue, and all my friends are there. However i'm sure to someone who comes along for a one off - we must seem a little clicky - we like to dance with the people we know - not saying we don't dance with beginners - but new people who dance well are always talked about - who is that, where are they from, have you seen them before ... and all that - its natural.
I agree - SB - you should listen to those with a little more experience of these things.
On a different note
I am truely sorry that i didn't, i have seen you around - but i guess i have never had the courage - what can i say - i am shy, and i you are good, didn't want you to accept then think i was cr*p. What can i say - next time i see you - i'll ask you.
Well, you do the maths, four hours (times) three nights a week (times) three months (I consider over 140 hours enough time to work out if the people I'm with are friendly). And even if I had only danced once, I am still entitled to an opinion of the venue/crew.
I understand that you feel it is your moral obligation to speak out against wrong-doers. However, you are not doing that Fletch. If you have an issue - let's hear it.
To get 'even' with whomever you have judged as an evil wrong-doer you go further than you should Fletch. By calling the 'people' at these events unfriendly, hotshots, etc you are actually attacking everyone, and not just the person/people you seem to have a specific grievance with.
I do not understand why you choose to do this You constantly berate the venues that I attend, saying that they are nasty because of the people there... I am one of the people there. A new person. I am not alone. There are many new people who you have never met at these venues. Are we all nasty hotshots who won't ask people to dance? All of us.
You are saying that about me, and Barmpot and every other person that steps inside the door. You are lumping us all together. It is malicious and untrue, and I really would rather you stopped doing it - of course you won't because you see it differently. So I will have to sit here with you pretty much calling me a liar and read your continued negative judgement on me and every other charming person I dance with until... when?
But by continuing to drag the venues down you run the risk of putting new dancers off from attending and finding the same joy that these places have given to you and I. If you have a specific problem with a specific person, please, please, please take it off of the forum and sort it out. Let the rest of us get on with dancing
I'm not sure how to set my points out any more clearly. But, please pack it in with all the negativity, it's getting really boring babe
On a different note
I am truely sorry that i didn't, i have seen you around - but i guess i have never had the courage - what can i say - i am shy, and i you are good, didn't want you to accept then think i was cr*p. What can i say - next time i see you - i'll ask you.[/QUOTE]
Wow, this goes down in my major compliment section!!! thank you!!
This disappoints me that a regular venue I go to, there are people that refuse on what it appears to be a regular basis. I cant get behind the mind set of people like that.
Did you look scary ??
I hope people had a good time anyway and it wasnt too crowded , seems I missed my fav forum dancer there Bloody Tenerife and 75f sun
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I suspect the word "clicky" is verging on Glossary status now...
Anyway, Ceroc / MJ is, in my experience, far less cliquey than most other common partner dance scenes. Salsa, AT, ballroom - they're all much more cliquey and less friendly than MJ.
Whenever people gather together, there'll be cliques. It's unavoidable. But MJ is much less affected in most places than other dance forms.
Some venues are more cliquey than others - for example, and God knows why, most venues in SW London are occasionally affected by some degree of snootiness (Fulham, Ealing, Hammersmith). But the MJ dance form lends itself to a high level of friendliness.
Obviously, most people prefer their regular venues, that's why those are their regular venues
But I certainly don't think my venue is the best. In fact, I don't have a "my venue", so I can't.
I imagine that as a female lead (only?), you'll probably get a lot more refusals in a strange venue - I don't think Berko is particularly unfriendly as a venue generally. But perhaps I'm just Part Of The Clique
(my bold. On the fairly likely assumption that DJ means 'strange' as in unknown rather than strange as, well, strange)
I've never turned down an unknown female who asks me (although if I've been leading that night, I will check whether they want to lead or follow in case they have seen me leading - occasionally it's a beginner who is just desperate to dance and there aren't enough men to go around). But it is unusual for women to ask for dances as leads. (Think we may have danced somewhere at some point Dai, recognise your profile pic )
The whole partner dance culture is man + woman. It's not necessarily about sex (thank God, in many cases ) - maybe it's a pheromone thing (shrug). Unfortunately, some people don't want to go out of their comfort zone with people they don't know. I have to say that no matter how good their lead is, dancing a blues track with an *unknown* female lead is NOT the same as dancing it with a man. It just isn't. (Dancing a blues track with a female friend/known female lead is different again.)
Anyway, back on topic - I turn people down if I don't want to dance with them. But I'm always polite about it. Not many people have confessed to lying about getting a drink/needing a break/shoe change/shirt change if they don't want to hurt the asker's feelings and would dance with them another time. Well, I always knew I'm odd and Evil.
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