How often are you refused do you refuse a dance ?

[stewart38]

I don’t know if there is a thread about this but I was looking at some of the comments made by what I would say are well know accomplished dancers on this forum . They have made comments that they get a refused a dance and sometime quite rudely and its not infrequent.

I probably refuse over a year about 1 request for a dance per 100 (if asked)

Usually when there is big imbalance like at Ashton’s and I need air or a drink or a pee etc

I get declined about 1 dance per 70 ? I think if I was getting 10 refusals per 100 id get upset

Id be interested in the ratios

If you a man and women and get refused every other dance you can always start ‘my friend’ etc fools them every time

[Lee Bartholomew]

Normally get the "your to good to dance with me" line. Never accept it and always drag them up to dance.

One day I'll learn my lesson and realise that they are telling the truth

[MartinHarper]

I get refused second dances a few times a night, not always verbally (IE, when they run away screaming at the end of the first dance I figure I should go ask someone else). Maybe 1 in 10?

Maybe 40% of the guys I ask to dance refuse (in freestyle, that is. 0% in class).

Aside from that, maybe a direct refusal once every 5 nights or so (1.5hrs/night, 3mins/song = about every 150 dances). It's hard to tell about indirect refusals, though - did someone deliberately walk off when I got too close, or was it just a coincidence? My answer on that fluctuates as my paranoia battles my arrogance.

[WittyBird]

Normally get the "your to good to dance with me" line.

Yeah me too :yawn:

One day I'll learn my lesson and realise that they are telling the truth

Earth to Woodface

[Lee Bartholomew]

Earth to Woodface

I found it funny.

[StokeBloke]

In the two and a half months I've been dancing I have never refused anyone a dance. Can't see that I ever would either. Now I know this is just asking for it, but I have also never been turned down yet either - maybe it's karmic

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you girls start turning me down in your droves... and now I've posted this.........

[Lee Bartholomew]

There are plenty of legit reasons to get turned down.

injuries, tiredness, sweating to much, argument with husband....

there just some of the things that i've caused my dance partners to suffer which might give them reason to turn another dancer down.

[fletch]

In the two and a half months I've been dancing I have never refused anyone a dance. Can't see that I ever would either

Oh yes you will

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you girls start turning me down in your droves... and now I've posted this.........

So do you go to venues where there are forumites in attendance

[StokeBloke]

Oh yes you will

Yeah, I know... never say never

So do you go to venues where there are forumites in attendance

Well work and family commitments mean I can't do venues too far from home, and weekends are out too at the moment. It's difficult to tell who is a forumite and who isn't; so the honest answer is 'I dunno Fletch'.

Let me I extend an open invitation to all the girls on the forum... please all feel free to come along to Wolverhampton Pavilion tonight so you can point and laugh at me and turn me down when I ask you to dance. There will be a limited selection of fruit to throw, so arrive early to avoid disappointment

Although if you do brave the floor with me Fletch, I promise I won't kick you. Come find me Fletch.... you know you want to

[Lee Bartholomew]

Y It's difficult to tell who is a forumite and who isn't; so the honest answer is 'I dunno Fletch'.

It's in the way we walk apparently. lol

[StokeBloke]

It's in the way we walk apparently. lol

I thought that's what the talcum powder was for

[Lee Bartholomew]

I thought that's what the talcum powder was for

Yep, forumites are the ones with white marks around their crotch.

[Lory]

I Know I've said it before but I get turned down far more often by the guys I know well.
I think it's a simple case, that they know i'll understand and won't hold it against them, if they have a genuine reason and anyway, I hate dancing with guys who aren't really up for it

I suppose in general, I get turned down about once a month, I think

[Frankie_4711]

I hardly ever refuse a dance, and always try (don't always succeed!) to dance with that person later that night, or at worst the next time I see them, because I will never turn down a dance just because I don't want to dance with that person, it will always be for a legitimate reason (almost always that I have promised that dance to someone else, as even if I need the loo/drink etc I will try and put it off until after that dance just so that I don't have to turn them down).

Unfortunately I get turned down a lot more regularly. 3 different people in one song I think is my record! But that isn't typical. I'd say, maybe one a night on average.

[JiveLad]

This is a subject I covered in my (mildly entertaining) blog - at http://ceroc.blogspot.com/2006/12/as...including.html

and in that post, I estimated I get refused at a rate of about 1%.

I can only remember one refusal this month (Chesham) - and on reflection I was silly to ask, as she was in a very deep conversation.

I also experimented by not asking anyone - see the post at http://ceroc.blogspot.com/2006/12/ch...jive-aces.html

which gave me a taste of what it might be like to be a woman who doesn't ask - and just waiting for someone to ask me.

At the moment, in over 1 year of dancing, I have never refused anyone - even when it is a repeat. I mkae it quite obvious when I don't want to dance, because I leave the dance floor room/environs.

[Lee Bartholomew]

I don't know why women don'r ask men.

I understand that it is a legacy thing dating back to times of yore etc but I just cant see why women would go to a dance just to stand around being a wall flower for an evening.


I have danced with people near the end of an evening to find out I was the only person that danced with them !!!!

[JiveLad]

I don't know why women don'r ask men.

I understand that it is a legacy thing dating back to times of yore etc but I just cant see why women would go to a dance just to stand around being a wall flower for an evening.


I have danced with people near the end of an evening to find out I was the only person that danced with them !!!!

Agree with you there. And the women I tend to go dancing with are 'Askers' - and they too are amazed that some women just will not ask. I think that once a woman realises it is ok to ask - and she tries it, and it works, then it is fine. I do remember my first venture into freestyle - and my first 'Ask' - I was soooooo nervous - so I can understand it with beginners particularly.

I guess we all have our 'barriers' to get through - then we're ok.

[Andreas]

I couldn't put a number on how often I am being refused a dance but it happens. As for me refusing, that luckily hardly ever happens.

The most interesting one I had was a lady picking up who she danced with after a couple of moves and then telling me the if she had known it was me she'd not asked me to dance ...

[Missy D]

Its rare for me to go out dancing without being refused at least once. A couple of weeks ago at Hammersmith I was refused three times in a row and was really upset.

[Lee Bartholomew]

Its rare for me to go out dancing without being refused at least once. A couple of weeks ago at Hammersmith I was refused three times in a row and was really upset.

Don't take it to heart.

There are only two types of people who refuse a dance....

Those with legit reasons (rest etc) and those who have their heads up their own backsides.