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Thread: No going back!

  1. #21
    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: No going back!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    Gaining knowledge about how one 'should' be able to follow precisely, using the correct frame, tension, compression, floor pressure and visual leads, can make one too self critical.
    I know where you are coming from, I'm at that point in AT - I was simply floating after a few dances at Southport in June - it felt wonderful. Then I started to learn more and I've never quite achieved that 'high' again - because I'm much more self critical as I know what I should be doing. I'm sure I'll get back there again at some point.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    Dancing with people who have the ability to unite you with them AND the music, is an exquisite experience, that once experienced, can never be forgotten and will always be aspired to but rarely achieved
    I dance every week with leads who simply aren't there yet and the occasional visitor to NI highlights this difference in leader experience. But what keeps my regular dancing fresh for me is that those leads are starting to get there. I can enjoy their discoveries and encourage them on their journey.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    I'm envious of those who haven't yet experienced the weekender blues room phenomenon or those who are still making discoveries, as once experinced you can never go back.
    I think it depends on your dance 'diet'. If you have those wonderful experiences too often they can become ordinary and you seem to need better and better dances to get that wonderful connection. I've deliberately taken a 4 month 'weekender break' where I haven't been going away. I know that by Feb I'll really have an appetite for the Southport blues room experience. I'm already getting hungry. Sometimes a break means you can rediscover things anew.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    Also, think carefully when embarking on learning a new dance style, or two, or three, as they can end up just being a constant source of frustration, as so few other people can do them.
    Yep, but that was MJ for me for years. And I was like that at times over the past year with AT, grabbing any opportunity I could at weekenders, frustrated if a suitable track came on and there was no-one to dance with. But I've managed to make some space for AT, getting on a tango weekend this year etc. So now I know that if a tango track comes on and there is no-one to dance AT with, that there will be other times, other nights, other dances to look forward to. So instead of getting frustrated when I can't get to dance the style I want, I think of it as a treat when I do.

    I think I'm saying that it takes some work and some thought, but you can change your focus on what makes a good dance experience, reset your targets and aim to make the best of whatever dancing you are doing.

    For me - There is more yet to discover. There are more heights to reach. I'm going forward.

  2. #22
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    Re: No going back!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus View Post
    I've not interest in other dance styles as they don't allow me to dance to the range of dance that MJ does.
    I'm not entirely sure what this means - is it a typo?

    Quote Originally Posted by dance cat View Post
    I want to be a better dancer but the only routes on offer are workshops on competition performance and drops.
    Have you considered private lessons?

  3. #23
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    Re: No going back!

    Quote Originally Posted by MartinHarper View Post
    I'm not entirely sure what this means - is it a typo?
    What? Gus make a typo??

    Quote Originally Posted by MartinHarper View Post
    Have you considered private lessons?
    It's interesting that private lessons are so undersold in the UK. In Oz and NZ, my impression is that a lot more people take up private lessons in order to improve their dancing.

    Personally, I'd say that a private lesson done well can be of far more benefit in aiding improvement than a workshop, and probably only cost slightly more for one person, or actually slightly less for two people. You can get feedback personal to you on tips to aid your dancing. And a whole hour dedicated to improving just you. Even in a 4 hour workshop limited to 10 couples, you still get much less time than that, and most of the moves/advice/instruction is given out on a general, rather than on a specific basis. You might get a few minutes here and there with the teacher, but nowhere near as much as a dedicated lesson.

    When deciding on having one, I'd advise to approach a teacher who's style and expertise match the areas in which you want to improve. Asking a teacher who has a reputation for smooth blues how to dance better in a funky style, for example, is probably not going to help you much. Think about the lesson beforehand. Turning up with a general remit to turn you into a better dancer won't have as much benefit as turning up with specific things and areas of your dancing that you want to improve. If the teacher has to spend the first third of the time trying to work out what you need to work on, then that's just time wasted.

    Finally, be prepared to accept the (constructive) advice. If you go along convinced that you know everything there is to know about multiple spinning (for example), and disregard out of hand any advice in that area, you're probably wasting your money. The whole reason for you being there is to be told how you need to improve. The teacher isn't there to tell you how wonderful you are! It can sometimes be a painful experience!

    And also, be prepared to get worse before you get better. When you start working on areas, your dancing is likely to take a dip before the (hopefully) eventual rise, while you're thinking about things, and trying to assimilate them into what you do. Don't expect that having paid for one private lesson that you'll suddenly turn into world beaters. It still takes plenty of dedication and work!

  4. #24
    The Gobby one! WittyBird's Avatar
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    Re: No going back!

    Quote Originally Posted by Flat_Eric View Post
    ~snip - inspirational - snip ~

    Feel content with what you have while remaining hungry for some more.
    I tried to rep you for this *wow* what wonderful thoughts and fantastic sentiments This is one of the *few* worthwhile reasons for reading now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus View Post
    North West. Try as I might, the bland music, the lack of experienced female dancers and instructors meant that I couldn't get the interest back in dancing
    Don't you teach & DJ in the North West?
    Just wondered

    Quote Originally Posted by Gav View Post
    I know I've ruined my enjoyment of local dancing by travelling around to places where the standards are higher.
    Big fish, tiny puddle.

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    I was at Hammersmith last night, and even in the Blues Room there was very little excellent dancing (forumites excepted of course, you're all lovely).
    Easy Tiger

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Dancing for me is about meeting people, dancing with them and achieving that beautiful connection that happens quite rarely

    Let go and relax.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTramp View Post
    What? Gus make a typo??
    Surely not no, really?

  5. #25
    The Gobby one! WittyBird's Avatar
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    Re: No going back!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    I have found there is a sad price to pay for experiencing the best of the best
    What is that sad price? The fact that you're so unique and special you've picked it up so quickly, but are so willing to pass it on to others?

    Pray tell?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    The naivity of not being aware of my inherent faults, gave me a confidence that i've since lost..
    But you always seem to have the inate ability to pass that confidence on to others


    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    Gaining knowledge about how one 'should' be able to follow precisely, using the correct frame, tension, compression, floor pressure and visual leads, can make one too self critical.
    You've got nothing to be critical of IMO


    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    Watching video's of perfectly executed choreographed routines, gives unrealistic goals to aim at.
    No, I disagree, It gives pleasure, it also gives you the opportunity to steal a few little quirks


    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    I'm envious of those who haven't yet experienced the weekender blues room phenomenon or those who are still making discoveries, as once experinced you can never go back..
    No you can't go back, but you can go forwards. Go without expectations, relax and take each new experience as they come.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    Also, think carefully when embarking on learning a new dance style, or two, or three, as they can end up just being a constant source of frustration, as so few other people can do them.
    That's why it's better to learn one at a time. Relax, gain confidence and move forwards, whilst taking each new thing learnt into every new experience.

    I'm really surprised at you Lory......

    For one you have been (and still are) an inspiration to me. If it hadn't been for you and a few others who I respect and admire, I wouldn't be the person I am today.

    You have coached, inspired, criticised, praised and welcomed me into the life that is dance. I wish I could give you some of the motivation and inspiration that you've given me in the last year or so.

    If you're feeling like this God help the rest of us.

  6. #26
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    Re: No going back!

    Quote Originally Posted by MartinHarper View Post
    Have you considered private lessons?
    Quote Originally Posted by dance cat View Post
    I have tried to find private dance lessons but was told all the teachers in the area were too busy so that route seems unavailable too.
    seems you missed this part of my post.

  7. #27
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    Re: No going back!

    Quote Originally Posted by WittyBird View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Lory
    The naivity of not being aware of my inherent faults, gave me a confidence that i've since lost.
    But you always seem to have the inate ability to pass that confidence on to others


    I've told you before Lory, but I've only bumped into you twice and you know how much my confidence improved over the evening. Each time we danced I got more confident and therefore better and that was down to you. Your dancing, smiling and encouraging comments gave me that extra confidence.

    Quote Originally Posted by dance cat
    I have tried to find private dance lessons but was told all the teachers in the area were too busy so that route seems unavailable too.
    Quote Originally Posted by dance cat View Post
    seems you missed this part of my post.
    Except when a friend and I approached our local Ceroc franchise we were told that "we don't do private lessons".

  8. #28
    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: No going back!

    [QUOTE=dance cat;321445]I know what you mean, there's a certain fear of spoiling your enjoyment by looking at dance more seriously.
    QUOTE]

    I have just come out of a confidence moment.

    while at Oxford this Friday, Roy said 'Fletch' we will grab a dance in a bit' my reply was, 'i'm not doing so good at the moment go easy on me'

    he said 'why do you want to go professional' ?

    NO

    'do you want to compete'?

    NO


    'No, your a social dancer, just having fun, why have you started taking it so serious'?

    'Fletch don't ever change'

    and I think it was that I have been dancing with such good dancer. teachers, etc., that there expectations of me, are that I should be moving on faster, thus putting pressure on myself to be better, and when i'm not, feeling like a let down.

    I dance to have fun, chat, make friends, laugh, dress up, and yes dance.

    Back on track



    Quote Originally Posted by TheTramp View Post
    What? Gus make a typo??







    Quote Originally Posted by WittyBird View Post





    Surely not no, really?
    will you two stop picking on Gus you know how sensitive he can be
    Quote Originally Posted by WittyBird View Post



    No, I disagree, It gives pleasure, it also gives you the opportunity to steal a few little quirks


    No you can't go back, but you can go forwards. Go without expectations, relax and take each new experience as they come.


    That's why it's better to learn one at a time. Relax, gain confidence and move forwards, whilst taking each new thing learnt into every new experience.


    For one you have been (and still are) an inspiration to me. If it hadn't been for you and a few others who I respect and admire, I wouldn't be the person I am today.

    You have coached, inspired, criticised, praised and welcomed me into the life that is dance. I wish I could give you some of the motivation and inspiration that you've given me in the last year or so.

    .
    and Witty all these comment you made to Lorry are mine to you

    I love your little quriks, but you are you, i'm neaver going to be you, I need to find my own quirks...one day......untill then I will carry on flitting arount the room been Cilla Black


    'hello whats your name and where do you come from' ?

  9. #29
    Registered User Feelingpink's Avatar
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    Re: No going back!

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    ...

    I've also reached a plateau / boredom stage with MJ. I look around me at an average Ceroc night, and know what is achievable elsewhere - and frankly, it's depressing how much of a gap there is between the two. So put me down in the "hotshot" camp too.
    It's why I don't dance MJ any more. I went to a Greenwich party night a few months ago and had a nice enough time with people I like - but no urge to go back - and at the last one I would have had a lovely escort ... it just isn't enough. So ... need to find another way into tango in the new year.

  10. #30
    Groovemeister
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    Re: No going back!

    I am glad this thread came up because it is how I have felt for a while. I am not bored with "Ceroc" though.

    I have a dance partner which makes all the difference for me I know that when I have had enough of dancing the "Ceroc tm" way I can go to her and dance the way we want to.

    It helps me get the best of both worlds dancing with a wide variety of people and having fun but with musical expression and dancing freedom when I want it.

    I do get critical though and I can see a point where that might kill it for me but I have my oasis in the desert.

    This is the general problem with MJ though in that if you have no other dance experience it does take you down the road of dance mediocrity the good thing is though if you want to learn more it is a good base to start with.
    Last edited by Groovemeister; 18th-December-2006 at 10:50 AM.

  11. #31
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    Re: No going back!

    One of the lessons reading Lory's initial post is 'Be careful of what you wish for'.

    I know exactly how you feel Lory. Speaking for myself I also feel like a beginner again. It does get better but if you keep feeding yourself with knowledge you will keep on this sort of cycle. Like they say dancing can be a drug and when you look at it you're looking for new highs to feed the addiction unfortunately.

    Even this year the extra knowledge picked up has been so specialist I wonder sometimes if I should carry on or not.

  12. #32
    Registered User Clive Long's Avatar
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    Re: No going back!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gus View Post
    << snip >> The ideal would be for 'centres of excellence' to exist throughout the UK.
    Gus,

    As I always, I disagree completely with your view on ranking and judging everything in life and finding it all comes up short and leaves you dissatisfied.

    I would much rather

    The ideal would be for 'centres of enjoyment' to exist throughout the UK.
    The sad truth is that outside a few clubs in the South East, despite the vacuous claims of some, such clubs don't exist ... though I'd love to be proved wrong on that.
    Oooh. So much material to shoot at in such a small space.

    Please provide some evidence for your rather sweeping statement.

    Clive

  13. #33
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    Re: No going back!

    Quote Originally Posted by WittyBird View Post


    No you can't go back, but you can go forwards. Go without expectations, relax and take each new experience as they come.

    That's why it's better to learn one at a time. Relax, gain confidence and move forwards, whilst taking each new thing learnt into every new experience.

    I'm really surprised at you Lory......

    For one you have been (and still are) an inspiration to me. If it hadn't been for you and a few others who I respect and admire, I wouldn't be the person I am today.

    You have coached, inspired, criticised, praised and welcomed me into the life that is dance. I wish I could give you some of the motivation and inspiration that you've given me in the last year or so.

    If you're feeling like this God help the rest of us.

    Wow... I'm impressed Witty!

    Very deep and introspective. Have a Rep - I don't give those out all that often!

    martin

  14. #34
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: No going back!

    Well, firstly a huge thank you to all of you who've responded to my initial post and to the people who've PM'd and spoken to me in person too and just in case anyone 'else' thinks i'm suicidal or about to pack it all in, I'm not, honestly!

    I think we all occasionally go through little phases of wondering where we're heading and what our real goal is or should we even have one

    And, I also think we all have the occasional bout of 'badnightitus' syndrome where you come home thinking, I'm getting worse, not better or when the music just doesn't seem to hit the spot or your partners (even though they might be competent) don't match 'your' idea of how you'd like to interpret the music and everything just feels 'odd'

    Anyway, the good news is, I had fun last night and defintiely feel like my Mojo has a bit more life in it!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTramp View Post
    I can enjoy almost all the dances I have to whatever music. I think that it must be different for followers though
    Tis true, it is different for followers

    Interestingly the guy doesn't have to be good, flash or even be past the beginner phase......

    I suppose what it really comes down to, is the guy's ability to make 'me' feel good about 'me' in the same way, that I'd try to encourage 'him' to feel good about 'himself'.


    Quote Originally Posted by MartinHarper View Post
    1. Learn dances that other people dance. Salsa, not Outer Hebridean Three Step.
    ~snip~
    3. Try not to consider one dance as "better" than another.
    I don't think any that i'm learning are that unusual, although, your right, I'm definitely expecting too much from an ordinary MJ night, hoping that they'd be lots of other men, who can do 'AT', Cha cha and WCS.
    I've never thought one dance was better than another but now I'm learning the different styles, when I hear music that calls out for a certain dance, at that moment, i'd rather be doing the dance i've learnt, that reflects the genre!

    Also, I have to admit, the idea of a 'whole night' of AT, or a whole night of Ballroom doesn't fill me with joy either! Fussy cow, arent' I? (don't answer that!!!)

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Andy View Post
    Use your enthusiasm for your newly preferred dancestyles to encourage others and help to build up the numbers who will enjoy that which you enjoy.


    Quote Originally Posted by cronshd View Post
    it works differently for different people: 'X' may be regarded as a great dancer for most people, but for 'Z' it just doesn't happen when dancing with 'X':
    Very true.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flat_Eric View Post
    Lot's of interesting stuff that i'm still digesting!
    Quote Originally Posted by dance cat View Post
    I know what you mean, there's a certain fear of spoiling your enjoyment by looking at dance more seriously.
    Exactly!

    Quote Originally Posted by WittyBird View Post
    You have coached, inspired, criticised, praised and welcomed me into the life that is dance. I wish I could give you some of the motivation and inspiration that you've given me in the last year or so.
    You just have!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gav View Post
    Each time we danced I got more confident and therefore better and that was down to you. Your dancing, smiling and encouraging comments gave me that extra confidence.
    It wasn't just one sided Gav!
    MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
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    Re: No going back!

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Dancing for me is about meeting people, dancing with them and achieving that beautiful connection that happens quite rarely but you feel that you have moved together wonderfully and had that moment with that person. Mind you, that could be one sided for all i know but as they say what you dont know can not hurt you. I think to go deeper into it, which i am threatening to do in 2007, by looking at my dancing, getting a regular partner and really concentrating on improving myself, could take away the edge but i dont think that moment you experience when dancing with certain people could ever be removed or loose its special quality regardless how long you dance for. Well for me it wont anyway.
    I am yours to dance with forever i presume you are talking about me ME ME ME FOCUS ON ME ME ME I am not well you know xxx

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