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Thread: Anonymous Forumites

  1. #41
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Flat_Eric View Post
    I'd like to ask: what makes you "more stalkable" than the next person?
    She's hot!

    Uh, I mean that in a totally non-stalkerish way.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    All are women, who have felt intimidated and even afraid to post as they know the stalker is following them around the forum.

    It is my opinion that if photos were complusory, it would reduce this kind of behaviour, as it's always the anonymous forumites that do the stalking.
    I'm afraid it's a bit more complex... Nothing stops me from going on match.com, grabbing any guy's pix and registering. You've got a photo, you're happy. Except that it's not mine.

    Technically, the only way to have more control is to make the Ceroc member ID mandatory upon registration, but still. Nothing stops anyone from lying upon registering their details at a venue.

    Next step is hence: have a picture taken upon membership registration, with immediate scanning, addition in the Ceroc database. The picture can be looked up at forum registration. However, you still have not confirmed the address. So Ceroc registration would imply that you take with you an ID with picture and an ID with address. Only issue: it's not a dance franchise anymore, it's a job application.

    Trust me: someone who wants to "stalk" someone else through forum membership either is a doughnut or, if they are determined enough or will tresspass easily any kind of security feature in place. Photos are not the answer...

  3. #43
    Registered User SteveK's Avatar
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    A friend of mine has done quite a bit of work in Japan, where "wandering hands' can be a problem on very crowded Underground trains. Apparently the accepted thing if a dirty old man tries putting his hand where he shouldn't, the girl/woman being abused simply grabs the hand and holds it aloft..... can we think of a forum equivalent.

    It's interesting to see the comments about whether photos should be mandatory - I doubt that the lack of a photo would make any difference to whether a person be stalked? I ensure that my photo is visible, cos I reckon it is kind of more friendly that way. Fora can get quite impersonal - I feel that someone is less likely to be antagonistic towards me if they can develop a mental picture of what I might be like.

    It's tempting to question whether this links into the previous discussions about whether full face veils are acceptable on Britain's streets?

  4. #44
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by SteveK View Post
    It's tempting to question whether this links into the previous discussions about whether full face veils are acceptable on Britain's streets?

    you ruined it - i had every intention of uploading a picture of me in a full face veil

    Not many people have pictures in their profiles (although I do like Lindsay Browns naked on the beach one). WHy should they? as others have said it could be anyones picture if they wish to get up to no good. Would you like people to send in passports to Franck before he lets them register ?

    I would suggest that if anyone is being stalked its probably not the fault of the forum, I imagine the stalker knows the people already. I worked beside a stalker once - he was a very strange guy indeed (the fact that his nickname was "the anti-christ" tells you just how strange) and he was in the national papers years after i knew him for stalking an ex-girlfriend for YEARS. Poor woman. I don't think anything that could happen on the forum comes close to that as you can "ignore" anyone you like. I assume "ignore" stops PM's as well, but Im not sure.

    but anyway.....For our protection we have "The Moderators".

    Franck attacks them with twirling orange kilt and beard.
    DavidJames has a big stick called "The Pacifier". Its bigger than him but he wields it mightily.
    Tiggerbabe whips in with her tail and the "oddjob" hat.
    Lory hair whips and follows with an infectious giggle that makes them laugh themselves to death.
    Ducasi blogs them to death and looks distinctly "not impressed".
    Kev F...er dunno...has he got an aggressive hairstyle ?
    Emma paints them into a picture that they become mystically trapped in NEVER TO GET OUT.


  5. #45
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    I can be obnoxious sometimes.
    It's true, she can be but that doesn't give people the right to be creepy and scary.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flat_Eric View Post
    I'd like to ask: what makes you "more stalkable" than the next person?
    Have you seen her profile picture? I would imagine that for a stalker, the obvious choice of victim would be a pretty young woman, rather than an anonymous man disguised as a TV puppet.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flat_Eric View Post
    I don't feel the need for this at all and belive that elementary netiquette could resolve any problem associated with personal harrassment of any form.
    Therein lies the problem, these idiots don't believe in netiquette of any sort or they wouldn't be doing it in the first place. If a set of rules and acceptable behaviour were the solution, why don't we have that in real life? There'd be no crime at all!

    Quote Originally Posted by Flat_Eric View Post
    I'm afraid it's a bit more complex... Nothing stops me from going on match.com, grabbing any guy's pix and registering. You've got a photo, you're happy. Except that it's not mine.
    Trust me: someone who wants to "stalk" someone else through forum membership either is a doughnut or, if they are determined enough or will tresspass easily any kind of security feature in place. Photos are not the answer...
    I agree that photo's are not necessarily the answer, but I think that given how regularly it seems to be happening, we do need to do something. If there's a way of preventing it, that would be best, but failing that a standard way of dealing with it should be a minimum.

    FWIW, I would agree with Dave's 9mm solution if it wasn't for the fact that they're anonymous!

  6. #46
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Gav View Post
    but I think that given how regularly it seems to be happening, we do need to do something.
    how regularly is it happening ? first ive heard of it and Ive been here forever There are also 2,128 members on this forum, how many does it affect ? Im not trivialising the whole thing, just wondering if the scale of stalking is as bad as you suggest - its all very vague so far.

  7. #47
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    how regularly is it happening ? first ive heard of it and Ive been here forever There are also 2,128 members on this forum, how many does it affect ? Im not trivialising the whole thing, just wondering if the scale of stalking is as bad as you suggest - its all very vague so far.
    It's not regular as far as I'm aware. "Never" is more accurate.

    Again, let's keep a sense of perspective and not go running away with ourselves or whatever, before people start disappearing in pools of paranoia, OK?

    Although I still think the person next to me is DS...

  8. #48
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Flat_Eric View Post
    Technically, the only way to have more control is to make the Ceroc member ID mandatory upon registration, but still. Nothing stops anyone from lying upon registering their details at a venue....etc...










    Bless.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    DavidJames has a big stick called "The Pacifier". Its bigger than him but he wields it mightily.
    (I have to wonder, how big IS DavidJames, then?)

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    Again, let's keep a sense of perspective and not go running away with ourselves or whatever, before people start disappearing in pools of paranoia, OK?
    Bluddyell. Are you alright, DJ?

    Although I still think the person next to me is DS...
    No. I'm Dreadful Scathe.

  9. #49
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Lou View Post
    (I have to wonder, how big IS DavidJames, then?)
    Tiny. But hey, I've got a big pacifier, baby.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lou View Post
    No. I'm Dreadful Scathe.
    No, I'm... hold on. haven't we done this already?

  10. #50
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    how regularly is it happening ? first ive heard of it and Ive been here forever There are also 2,128 members on this forum, how many does it affect ? Im not trivialising the whole thing, just wondering if the scale of stalking is as bad as you suggest - its all very vague so far.
    OK, so maybe I was vague about number for effect, but as far as I'm concerned once is too many times.

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    It's not regular as far as I'm aware. "Never" is more accurate.

    Again, let's keep a sense of perspective and not go running away with ourselves or whatever, before people start disappearing in pools of paranoia, OK?

    Although I still think the person next to me is DS...
    OK, let's not get paranoid, but please don't try to trivialise it either.
    I know of 1 person whom it's happened to more than once, and 1 other.

    It's a form of bullying and possibly the worst form there is because it involves anonymous men (assuming they're men?) stalking women on a forum, but so long as they stay anonymous you have no idea if they're stalking you in real life too. It might even be someone you know!

    If I'm getting carried away and there really isn't a problem, fine I'll back down and apologise, but I can't stand bullies and I'd rather shout about it and be proved wrong than stay quiet and let them get away with it.

  11. #51
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    I'm not a stalker, but can be a git.

    Whether I'm a minger or not is down to individual opinion (er, feel free not to tell me which - thanks) but I don't feel like photographs ever do me justice - my face is one of those better in movement than stills. So no photo.

    I think the forum 'status quo' on online identity is fine as it is. How many people have *really* suffered from what they have posted or what's on their profile? The reason such cases get such a high profile is because they are the exception rather than the rule on here - and long may that continue.

    If 1 person has experienced problems, then that's one too many. But I don't think that it is the responsibility of the forum to make sure it doesn't happen. It is the responsibility of the individuals - for the victim: call the police and get a restraining order. I'm sure Franck and the team would co-operate in allowing the police access to evidence. For the stalker: get a life and remember that sooner or later, you WILL be caught. Naming and shaming may not be allowed on the forum, but bear in mind that the PM system is unmoderated and many of us know each other IRL - you're almost certainly known.

    However, it's up to an individual to be aware that "playing in the virtual world" may have undesirable repercussions in the real world - whether it's being ostracised as a result of bad behaviour or having your personal safety threatened owing to naively posting too much personal information/self-"exposure" of emotional issues.

    Many regular/high volume posters know each other IRL. But you *don't know* who else is out there and who's looking. No-one asks to be stalked or abused, and no-one deserves it. Unfortunately there are some very nasty people out there. Fortunately, they are in a small minority, even smaller when it comes to practical action (more people behave badly online, where there are fewer repercussions than IRL). Like it or not, fair or not, you have to "be careful out there" and think before you hit the submit button whether you are really happy to share whatever it is you have posted with any random stranger/potential stalker/other nasty person as well as with all your lovely forumite friends. If you "need to talk" then perhaps pick up the phone, rather than posting where anyone can see?

    I prefer to err on the side of caution. Enough people know me IRL for me to be able to say that I really don't care what people who don't know me may think of my "anonymity".

  12. #52
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Hello Gav, very interesting post !

    Quote Originally Posted by Gav View Post
    Have you seen her profile picture?
    Yes. There's however a number of other things I've seen:
    - DT is certainly a beautiful girl, but there are many others here
    - When she started the thread, DT's first sentence was: "I can be obnoxious sometimes". IT may be mind reading but, on this particular instance, a possible assumption is that the source of DT's worry lies in the fact that she may have written something provocative that causes her concern. If so, why not remove the provocation first and see it this is enough?...

    I'm not the oldest net-citizen you'll meet but have been involved / done a fair share of moderation on forums and more particularly chat rooms, i.e. have seen / managed a number of delicate cases. 12 years of experience tell me that it is not so much the person's gender (guys getting on one another's nerves can give interesting situations in terms of verbal and physical threats...) or how good they look, rather than how they behave with other chatters / forumites. This is nonetheless a personal view and just that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gav View Post
    Therein lies the problem, these idiots don't believe in netiquette of any sort or they wouldn't be doing it in the first place. If a set of rules and acceptable behaviour were the solution, why don't we have that in real life? There'd be no crime at all!
    You're absolutely right, but the question is that of etiquette, not just netiquette. What you're describing here could well happen in a pure offline Ceroc environment. After all, the pretty girls go to Ceroc venues as well don't they?

    I don't believe that an increase in the security process will give any kind of satisfactory results, unless a) the registration process on the forum is linked to the Ceroc membership ID; b) The name is checked with an address source of some sort, i.e. bill or credit card c) a)+b) meaning that the Ceroc membership registration process gets updated as well.

    There is a simple solution, in fact. People just need to remove the picture, favourite venues and personal details from their profile and, if they so choose, take the nick of a "yellow TV puppet" (Have you eve thought I could be a woman?). Following this, pictures can be exchanged by MP or email at the discretion of forumites. That is the way millions of online communities function, safely and successfully.

  13. #53
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Flat_Eric View Post
    I don't believe that an increase in the security process will give any kind of satisfactory results, unless a) the registration process on the forum is linked to the Ceroc membership ID; b) The name is checked with an address source of some sort, i.e. bill or credit card c) a)+b) meaning that the Ceroc membership registration process gets updated as well.
    This is a very naive and unworkable idea, for many reasons. I'll list the main ones below.

    1. Not everyone on here has a Ceroc™ membership ID
    2. It implies that there is some sort of accurate membership database held by Ceroc™ HQ.
    3. See LMC's wonderful post above about people taking responsibility for their own on-line identity.

    Hope this helps.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Lou View Post
    This is a very naive and unworkable idea, for many reasons.
    I absolutely agree. That was my point.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Lou View Post
    Not everyone on here has a Ceroc™ membership ID
    Can you imagine the cries of "Borg attack! Borg attact!" if Franck attempted to do that...

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Flat_Eric View Post
    I absolutely agree. That was my point.
    I see. So why post the idea twice? Sheesh! I can't follow this puppet logic!

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    Can you imagine the cries of "Borg attack! Borg attact!" if Franck attempted to do that...
    Indeed, let alone that it would put off those newbies who post here to find out what Ceroc is about, before going to their first class.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    I think that there is no simple solution to this.

    It's clear that forum admin solutions would be impractical and probably ineffective.

    Becoming anonymous to protect yourself from bullies is letting the bullies win.

    I think the only realistic solution is that we all remain vigilant. PM people who seem to be getting grief to see if they really are or if it's just friendly banter & report posts that look dodgy (the moderators can sort it out, that's why you get a 6 figure salary isn't it DJ?).

    BTW, don't have a go back in posts. It makes you look bad too and just prolongs the aggro.

  18. #58
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Gav View Post
    I(the moderators can sort it out, that's why you get a 6 figure salary isn't it DJ?).
    Absolutely. 0,000.00 PA.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    ...
    Franck attacks them with twirling orange kilt and beard.
    ...
    Franck's got a twirling orange beard!!!!!

    Ok, I'll be a good forumite!!


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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    Absolutely. 0,000.00 PA.
    I'll give you 5 euros for preferential moderation

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