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Thread: Anonymous Forumites

  1. #1
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    Anonymous Forumites

    I can be obnoxious sometimes.

    If you don't like what I say, you can look at my profile, see who I am and throw me dirty looks when you see me or slag me off and point at me....or even come and tell me how much you hate me.

    If you are a forumite who posts and PM's on here anonymously, it's not fair, especially if you make comments that are inappropriate or argumentative.

    IMO, it should be just as important to add a photo as it is to agree to abide by the forum rules.

    I know of 2 forumites who have been banned from the forum recently for what amounts to stalking. No photo, obviously, they wouldn't dare to say the things they said if we knew who they were.

    Anyway, is there a way avoiding this type of situation?

  2. #2
    Registered User Katie Kicks Ass's Avatar
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    I don't have a picture on my profile, However I have told you all where they can be found.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    I can be obnoxious sometimes.

    If you don't like what I say, you can look at my profile, see who I am and throw me dirty looks when you see me or slag me off and point at me....or even come and tell me how much you hate me.

    If you are a forumite who posts and PM's on here anonymously, it's not fair, especially if you make comments that are inappropriate or argumentative.

    IMO, it should be just as important to add a photo as it is to agree to abide by the forum rules.

    I know of 2 forumites who have been banned from the forum recently for what amounts to stalking. No photo, obviously, they wouldn't dare to say the things they said if we knew who they were.

    Anyway, is there a way avoiding this type of situation?
    9mm back of head instant problem solver

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Katie Kicks Ass View Post
    I don't have a picture on my profile, However I have told you all where they can be found.
    It's the ones that deliberately hide that bother me. It's like they get a kick out of lurking around the forum, abusing people.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    I know the ones. Had trouble with one recently. Not heard from him for awhile so wondering if it he got banned.

    Am always suspect of people who post without a pic.

    Is there no list of banned users?

  6. #6
    Juju
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    I do have a photo on my profile, but nothing which would help anyone to recognise me. There are a couple of reasons for this - the first being that I hate nearly all my photos and don't really want to post one! The other being that I prefer not to make myself obvious; I'm sure that in time I'll get to know some forumites, but at present there's almost no one on here whom I recognise from real life, in which case I simply don't feel comfortable with it - I'd rather become known gradually, a little at a time - for the same reason, I would avoid 'forumite' gatherings like the plague. I also prefer to be invisible on here - again because I feel more comfortable with it.

    I can assure you that I'm (mostly) not a git or a stalker.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Juju View Post
    I do have a photo on my profile, but nothing which would help anyone to recognise me. There are a couple of reasons for this - the first being that I hate nearly all my photos and don't really want to post one! The other being that I prefer not to make myself obvious; I'm sure that in time I'll get to know some forumites, but at present there's almost no one on here whom I recognise from real life, in which case I simply don't feel comfortable with it - I'd rather become known gradually, a little at a time - for the same reason, I would avoid 'forumite' gatherings like the plague. I also prefer to be invisible on here - again because I feel more comfortable with it.

    I can assure you that I'm (mostly) not a git or a stalker.
    So how do we police the ones that are gits & stalkers without making photos a given?

  8. #8
    Registered User Northants Girly's Avatar
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    How can you stalk someone on a forum?

    What did they actually do?

  9. #9
    Juju
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    So how do we police the ones that are gits & stalkers without making photos a given?
    Dunno. Ask Franck?

    If they're really creeps, how do you know that the photo is of them anyway? Just a thought.

    I had no idea anything like this had gone on.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Northants Girly View Post
    How can you stalk someone on a forum?

    What did they actually do?
    I'm not going in to whats been said because it involves other forumites.

    The point is, you can say what ever you like on here, through private messages. You can have someone banned, if you complain, but it shouldn't happen in the first place.

    Also, it's easy to follow someone around on the forum and pick up on all of their posts and constantly pick on what they have said and make sly comments without anyone really noticing apart from the person being picked on.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Northants Girly View Post
    How can you stalk someone on a forum?

    What did they actually do?
    You lerk in the shadows of a thread following the stalkie from post to post, stealing their washing and making random ' im watching you' posts

  12. #12
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Also, it's easy to follow someone around on the forum and pick up on all of their posts and constantly pick on what they have said and make sly comments without anyone really noticing apart from the person being picked on.
    That's it. I'm having Will banned!!

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by woodface View Post
    You lerk in the shadows of a thread following the stalkie from post to post, stealing their washing and making random ' im watching you' posts
    I'm watching you. That's exactly it.

  14. #14
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    It's a tricky one this - and more so here than in most forums.

    A standard worldwide forum is by definition anonymous - like the Usenet groups that were the precursors to forums (can't bring myself to say fora, it sounds silly). People can post vehement and detailed arguments on them, and might only meet up occasionally, in purposeful ways (for example, pub meets). So there's no need for concerns about privacy or identity, as these are usually protected by default.

    This forum is different, in that a lot of us know each other outside anyway, and would know each other without a forum. For example, even an anti-social beggar like me knew ZW, Lory and a few others before joining the forum. And, of course, we all dance with each other.

    So it's actually very difficult for a prominent forumite to remain anonymous. I've done my best, again by sheer anti-social actions, but even I get outed regularly. And people who deliberately try to avoid identification, but are still high-profile, tend to find it very difficult to hide their identity - for example, the recent fracas with Get A Grip.

    OK, we've got the Private Lounge and other mechanisms, but this is the Web, this is a semi-open, low-verification system, and so it is sensible, especially if you're a woman, to be aware of these factors.

    I certainly don't want to stop people posting photos, videos or whatever; in fact, I think that's one of the big expansion areas for communities like ours. And they're a great way of helping to describe dance points.

    But it's probably safest to consider this forum as a small-scale Youtube in that respects - and assume that anything you post may be seen by anyone.

    David "Public announcement" James

  15. #15
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Oh, and because I couldn't be serious for too long:

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTramp View Post
    That's it. I'm having Will banned!!
    To you, 50 rep.

    In advance of course.

    You can trust me, I'm a moderator you know.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Anyway, is there a way avoiding this type of situation?
    Yes there is: remember that the other forumites do exist in real life and on a reasonably close geographic area. This is all the more applicable as you are bound to meet anyone who writes heer some day when going dancing.. Temptation to stalk, reasonably frequent on the Net, generally does not happen without any provocation. Understand:
    - Extreme bantering
    - Extreme flirting
    - Extreme provocation of any kind

    If you are in doubt, consider what you have written / are about to write and ask yourself: "is that something that I would say to that person if they were alone in the same room with me?". In case the answer is: no, just don't write it. If the answer is: not sure: don't write it either.

    If you want to witness what happens to any community that goes down this route, read the "Friends" section of the London Gumtree, yesterday a helpful interesting and helpful place, today a cutthroat where nastiness and negation of others prevail. It'd be a real shame for the friendly Ceroc Scotland forum to follow this sad example.

    Online or not, civility is civility. That also applies to lack of civility, with more immediate consequences here, as this forum's base is anchored in an IRL activity with a membership that forces you to give personal details (a very notable difference from usual online communities, where real-life interactions may be rare and often inexistent).

    So:
    - Provocators: beware and be nice. Know when it's time to joke and wen it's time to stop
    - Wannabe stalkers: be sure that forum admin panel functionalities don't make it too hard to figure out who someone is and where they live, should the need arise... Behave and have a cold shower if it’s not enough...
    - Anyone who feels too preoccupied by what's happening here: stop taking things so seriously, even if you've been subjected to a cheap trick on this forum and feel a bit bruised by it. It's only dancing !


    Another last, but important thing: having been confronted to the problem of "mood degradation" on a forum I used to moderate, I can tell from experience that no moderation can solve that sort of situation. Become too PC makes a forum dull, not PC enough makes it an unpleasant place to visit. A good ambience on a forum always comes down to the gentle, self-monitored behaviour of its members.

    I like it here. Surely I'm not the only one. That's worth a bit of self discipline, isn't it? Provided everyone does so, there should be no need for a New Labour-type identification process upon regtistration.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    It's a tricky one this - and more so here than in most forums.

    A standard worldwide forum is by definition anonymous - like the Usenet groups that were the precursors to forums (can't bring myself to say fora, it sounds silly). People can post vehement and detailed arguments on them, and might only meet up occasionally, in purposeful ways (for example, pub meets). So there's no need for concerns about privacy or identity, as these are usually protected by default.

    This forum is different, in that a lot of us know each other outside anyway, and would know each other without a forum. For example, even an anti-social beggar like me knew ZW, Lory and a few others before joining the forum. And, of course, we all dance with each other.

    So it's actually very difficult for a prominent forumite to remain anonymous. I've done my best, again by sheer anti-social actions, but even I get outed regularly. And people who deliberately try to avoid identification, but are still high-profile, tend to find it very difficult to hide their identity - for example, the recent fracas with Get A Grip.

    OK, we've got the Private Lounge and other mechanisms, but this is the Web, this is a semi-open, low-verification system, and so it is sensible, especially if you're a woman, to be aware of these factors.

    I certainly don't want to stop people posting photos, videos or whatever; in fact, I think that's one of the big expansion areas for communities like ours. And they're a great way of helping to describe dance points.

    But it's probably safest to consider this forum as a small-scale Youtube in that respects - and assume that anything you post may be seen by anyone.

    David "Public announcement" James

    So, in short, we have to watch our backs and hope we don't get stalked.

    Glad that's all sorted out then

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    So, in short, we have to watch our backs and hope we don't get stalked.
    I'd like to ask: what makes you "more stalkable" than the next person?

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    Quote Originally Posted by Flat_Eric View Post
    I'd like to ask: what makes you "more stalkable" than the next person?
    I didn't say I was.

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    Re: Anonymous Forumites

    In this case, why would one need to hope not to get stalked?

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