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Thread: Dancing with an ex

  1. #61
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Sometimes ex's who are friends can sometimes cross over the line of friends and 'special friends', especially if you both still like each other and you went out but it didnt work.

    I have smudged that line more than once and its not a fact I am proud of

  2. #62
    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    This is proving to be an interesting thread and I have to give a big to lots of what Straycat has said (too lazy to quote). There is no standard method of handling the situation. You can take a guess at how you might handle the situation but until it actually happens you don't really know. With three variables in play - you, current partner and ex plus variables within that relating to extent of feelings still existing for ex there are all kinds of directions in which it can go.

    Personally speaking, If I still had feelings for an ex (i.e if I had not wanted the relationship to end but they had) than I think I would refuse any requests for a dance from that person (no matter how fabulous a dancer I believe them to be) because I think it would be impossible to separate my feelings for that person from the dance experience (which is contrary to the beliefs of some contributors to the thread). If I no longer had those feelings then I don't see it as a problem though you would need to be aware of sensitivites of the current partner if you were all in the same location.

    The incestuous nature of the dance scene (as someone phrased it earlier in the thread) is quite novel for me as I have never tended to cross the path of my partner's exes or they I before I started dancing. I do find it difficult from time to time but you need to have trust in your partner or the relationship is not going to be one that holds much promise for the longer term anyway.

  3. #63
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    As for the dancing with the ex topic how on this holy earth do you get over an ex when you dance with her and get on with her really well?

  4. #64
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by Clueless View Post
    As for the dancing with the ex topic how on this holy earth do you get over an ex when you dance with her and get on with her really well?
    Based on personal experience, I can give a few answers - here's two possibles:

    1) very easily
    2) with great difficulty

    In other words: everyone's different. Every relationship is different. Some end very naturally, others ... don't. Although I don't think (in my case) continuing to dance with an ex has ever made it any more or less hard to get over the relationship... take away the dancing, and the problem remains the same. What the dancing might do is remind you that the issue is still there, and yes - that can be painful.

  5. #65
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by straycat264 View Post
    Based on personal experience, I can give a few answers - here's two possibles:

    1) very easily
    2) with great difficulty

    In other words: everyone's different. Every relationship is different. Some end very naturally, others ... don't. Although I don't think (in my case) continuing to dance with an ex has ever made it any more or less hard to get over the relationship... take away the dancing, and the problem remains the same. What the dancing might do is remind you that the issue is still there, and yes - that can be painful.
    Everyone is different i guess

    Sometimes in the 'other world' it wouldn't be usual to take hold of the hand of an ex and dance with her

    Time i think resloves a lot of the issues with that

    Its a very interesting subject

  6. #66
    Registered User SeriouslyAddicted's Avatar
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Just had an interersting example of this involving some friends. T think in a ceroc environment where everyone knows where they stand it isn't a problem but the problem arises where a dance group goes out socially. Alcohol, late nights and ex's = bad news in that situation. Had the ex's not had Ceroc in common it is likely that they wouldn't still see each other let alone be in the same social group.
    Last edited by SeriouslyAddicted; 28th-January-2007 at 08:43 PM. Reason: fingers working faster than my brain!

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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    I'll never dance with my ex.
    Last edited by Tiggerbabe; 29th-January-2007 at 08:28 PM. Reason: Reported post

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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    I'll never dance with my ex
    So cute, True love.
    Last edited by Tiggerbabe; 29th-January-2007 at 08:29 PM. Reason: Quoted reported post.

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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by SeriouslyAddicted View Post
    Just had an interersting example of this involving some friends. T think in a ceroc environment where everyone knows where they stand it isn't a problem but the problem arises where a dance group goes out socially. Alcohol, late nights and ex's = bad news in that situation. Had the ex's not had Ceroc in common it is likely that they wouldn't still see each other let alone be in the same social group.
    Yeah though We were both out and she was drunk I was stone cold sober. I asked for a dance and she turned me down flat, Thought Earlier on in the night she introduce me as her dance partner. She them claimed that it was because she said it was because she felt attached to me!

    So I was standing round like a spare body and I asked are we going to dance or Should I go? and she said go! Thought when called her next day she claimed she needed time, yet it was her that invited me out and introduced me as her dance partner, Anyone else find that weird?

  10. #70
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by Clueless View Post
    partner, Anyone else find that weird?
    To pre-empt inevitable responses to this response (mine, not yours), I'll admit it would probably be considered a very "male thing to do" to point you at this thread

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