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Thread: Dancing with an ex

  1. #21
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by straycat264 View Post
    Thus speaks the calm sane voice of logic and reason.


    OK, then - if you think you may have a problem with the dancing habits of your partner / ex-partner / pet hippo, or vice versa, then surely the best thing is to talk about this with the relevant people / mammals?

    Or, you could kind of sit in the corner and glower all evening, or be glowered at, if that's more your preference.

  2. #22
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    I don't even know what Borg collective means let alone be one
    So they haven't got you yet? That's a relief. Be vigilant, and you may yet escape!

  3. #23
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post


    OK, then - if you think you may have a problem with the dancing habits of your partner / ex-partner / pet hippo, or vice versa, then surely the best thing is to talk about this with the relevant people / mammals?
    Being sane, logical and reasonable about it again...

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    Or, you could kind of sit in the corner and glower all evening, or be glowered at, if that's more your preference.
    NOW you're getting it...

  4. #24
    Registered User stewart38's Avatar
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    If I saw anyone dancing 7 times in a row with the same person I'd want to know why.

    But are you saying you want to control who your partner dances with / watch her all the time? Shouldn't you be, you know, dancing with people or something?

    Even if she's your girlfriend, does it matter who / when / how she dances with? Why get hung up on it?
    ‘My friend’, danced with an ex 7 times in a row ( a wonderful dancer) and didn’t even think about what his current gf would think as far as he was aware she was having a good time elsewhere on the very large dance floor. In fact he tells me he probably danced with his ex 30 times over a weekender

    He doesn’t count how many times she dances with people in fact as she isn’t a great dancer he doesn’t care who she dances with !

    So when he gets big grief from gf who ‘counted the dances’ he had with ex he gets miffed

    He can

    Understand her feelings ( I can see 7 is OTT regardless of the ‘reasons’ some may not)

    Tell her to sod off and stop being so insecure and dance 12 times with the ex

    Or understand her feelings and if dances with ex keep it to 1 or 2 (which will miff him but so be it)

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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Why should your current GF be annoyed about you dancing with and ex? casue a dance is just a dance after all, and why doesnt your current Gf trust you surely all relationships are built on trust.

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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by stewart38 View Post
    ‘My friend’, danced with an ex 7 times in a row ( a wonderful dancer) and didn’t even think about what his current gf would think as far as he was aware she was having a good time elsewhere on the very large dance floor. In fact he tells me he probably danced with his ex 30 times over a weekender

    He doesn’t count how many times she dances with people in fact as she isn’t a great dancer he doesn’t care who she dances with !

    So when he gets big grief from gf who ‘counted the dances’ he had with ex he gets miffed

    He can

    Understand her feelings ( I can see 7 is OTT regardless of the ‘reasons’ some may not)

    Tell her to sod off and stop being so insecure and dance 12 times with the ex

    Or understand her feelings and if dances with ex keep it to 1 or 2 (which will miff him but so be it)
    Personally, in that situation I think that 7 times in a row was a little insensitive.

    The only ex that I don't get on with is my ex-wife and she doesn't dance!

    I get on perfectly well with my 2 dancing ex's, when 1 was still the current g/f, neither of us had a problem with me dancing with my ex, because we were open, honest and grown up about it.

  7. #27
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    Dance the way you would normally, with whom you would normally dance. If you don't enjoy dancing with someone, why should you dance more / less with them, just because of who they or you are dating? Dating someone doesn't improve their dancing - if the dance chemistry is the same, why change things?
    If it were that simple, it's not...............

  8. #28
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by Clueless View Post
    Why should your current GF be annoyed about you dancing with and ex? casue a dance is just a dance after all, and why doesnt your current Gf trust you surely all relationships are built on trust.
    I was hoping I'd explained that.

    In simple terms. People are human. Inconvenient, but true...

  9. #29
    Registered User Shodan's Avatar
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Fortunately my latest EX lives over 100 miles away from me. So chance of bumping into her at dance events = virtually zero.

    She was supposed to be at a dance party I was invited to in her area by friends of mine. So I got terribly drunk just in case. She never turned up though, but her mum did. I happily danced with her mum though, and my mates at the party thought I was so funny and fun to dance with whilst drunk.

  10. #30
    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by mikeyr View Post
    If it were that simple, it's not...............


    Not that I have an ex in the dance world or been in this posotion but there must be lost of emotions running wild it just human nature

  11. #31
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory, who often says very wise things...
    That makes the situation crystal clear for everyone. Your not hiding anything, your g/f feels secure and your ex doesn't feel ignored or awkward.
    Lory, I can only applaud your social astuteness. My personal experience differs on the reinsurance part though. I'm ok for my girlfriend to have as many dances with whoever she pleases, ex or not, as long as she remembers, in her mind and behaviour, who she is coming back home with on that night. Cf. the Dance or Dancer thread where this was indirectly discussed.

    This being said, the answer varies depending on the people. I've had people count the number of dancers they saw me have with someone and comment on it, but that is their way to define how important/significant a series of consecutive dances is. A philosophy to be shared or not...

  12. #32
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by Flat_Eric View Post
    <snip!>
    Woah! You sit in my car on the passenger side looking out the window.

    http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/2628/imgp0657iv9.jpg

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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Oh ! That was you then?!!

  14. #34
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    My own “rules”

    Last dance with Current

    (If I am on my own and the last dance is announced, I will always ask my partner if she want to dance with someone else)

    Given that any ex will be still be someone rather special, it would a crime not to dance with them


    But it best to avoid that “special track” with an ex

  15. #35
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by Clueless View Post
    Why should your current GF be annoyed about you dancing with and ex? casue a dance is just a dance after all, and why doesnt your current Gf trust you surely all relationships are built on trust.
    This is so true - BUT - When a woman gets an idea that something is wrong, does it matter that everything is ok???
    My wife hates me dancing with my ex, only the one ex, the others dont bother her.

    I dont know why. I get on fab with them.
    Last edited by Achaeco; 29th-November-2006 at 03:11 PM.

  16. #36
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by Flat_Eric View Post
    Oh ! That was you then?!!
    Fraid so.

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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by C2D View Post
    This is so true - BUT - When a woman gets an idea that something is wrong, does it matter that everything is ok???
    My wife hates me dancing with my ex, only the one ex, the others dont bother her.

    I dont know why. I get on fab with them.
    Somtimes people are intimidated with other ex partners where there seems to be a connection, and we feel threatened by that.

    Maybe that is why your wife doesnt like you dancing with your ex.

    If she gets a bit upset about you dancing with your ex ask why and see if there is anything that you or your ex do when you dance together when compared to toher dancers. "You will never know if you dont ask"

  18. #38
    Registered User stewart38's Avatar
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by Clueless View Post
    Somtimes people are intimidated with other ex partners where there seems to be a connection, and we feel threatened by that.

    Maybe that is why your wife doesnt like you dancing with your ex maybe casue she sees a conntection that you have and feel threatened by it.

    If she get a bit upset about it ask why and see if there is anything that you can do to reslove the situation, "You will never know if you dont ask"
    Like getting back with the ex

  19. #39
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    Quote Originally Posted by Clueless View Post
    Somtimes people are intimidated with other ex partners where there seems to be a connection, and we feel threatened by that.

    Maybe that is why your wife doesnt like you dancing with your ex.

    If she gets a bit upset about you dancing with your ex ask why and see if there is anything that you or your ex do when you dance together when compared to toher dancers. "You will never know if you dont ask"
    Agreed! Sometimes you don't realise you are doing it, but chemistry can show up in your dancing (sometimes even when there isn't any) that people watching pick up on.

    Either that, or your wife feels threatened by this woman more than others. Something about this particular ex that makes her uncomfortable. I could be the way she dresses, acts with other partners, or even how your wife views the attractiveness of this particular ex. The "she is prettier/better" than me syndrome.

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    Registered User sidney's Avatar
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    Re: Dancing with an ex

    I have been in that situation with a ex, when we use to break up [which was often} I avoided going where he went but then when we did bump into each other he would ask me to dance and because he is such a good dancer i say yes and then I would get the best dances from him but after the last break up I said no more so I never dance with him anymore where another ex we always dance together and have a laugh and his girlfriend is fine.

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