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Thread: 20 Things It Takes A Lifetime To Learn

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    Smile 20 Things It Takes A Lifetime To Learn

    Dug this up from my computer's equivelent of an attic...

    20 THINGS IT TAKES A LIFETIME TO LEARN

    1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

    2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

    3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

    4. People who want to share their religious or political views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

    5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

    6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

    7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

    8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

    9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

    10. Never lick a steak knife.

    11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

    12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

    13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

    14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

    15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

    16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above average drivers.

    17. The main accomplishment of almost all organised protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

    18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

    19. Your friends love you anyway.

    20. Never argue with an idiot; people watching can't tell which is which

  2. #2
    Papa Smurf
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    Re: 20 Things It Takes A Lifetime To Learn

    Originally posted by Gadget
    Dug this up from my computer's equivelent of an attic...

    4. People who want to share their religious or political views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

    20. Never argue with an idiot; people watching can't tell which is which
    A couple of useful tips there that even work in a forum environment like this..and so true .

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    Registered User Jon's Avatar
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    1. Women

    nuff said :sorry

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    Commercial Operator Heather's Avatar
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    Women!!

    You mean to say that you will actually profess to UNDERSTAND us by the end of your lifetime?

    Heather.

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    Commercial Operator
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    Re: Women!!

    Originally posted by Heather
    You mean to say that you will actually profess to UNDERSTAND us by the end of your lifetime?

    Heather.
    Ah, but Heather...

    if he was to profess it, then surely he wouldn't understand women, would he?!?!?!!?!??

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    Registered User Alfie's Avatar
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    Re: The Subject of Women,

    Gave up trying to understand them when I was about 11. They will remain (as a race of people) a glorious mystery to me for the rest of my days, but I love them all the same

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    Originally posted by Alfie
    Re: but I love them all the same
    You sure you don't love 1 more than the others, though??

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    Papa Smurf
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    Originally posted by Alfie
    They will remain (as a race of people)
    Women are not a race - you've got confused There is a human race though

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    Registered User Sandy's Avatar
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    Age as well!

    14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.


    The same principle for age as well - always underestimate!

    Sandy

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    The Original Scooby Dave Hancock's Avatar
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    Re: Age as well!

    Originally posted by Sandy
    1
    The same principle for age as well - always underestimate!
    Sandy

    Given you can't be much more than about 23, if I was to underestimate your age I'd have to go for about 14, close

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    Registered User Sandy's Avatar
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    Re: Re: Age as well!

    Originally posted by Dave Hancock
    Sandy

    Given you can't be much more than about 23, if I was to underestimate your age I'd have to go for about 14, close
    Call me shallow but you just earned yourself Star of the Year Award! By the way I must be honest, I'm just over 24!!!!

    Sandy

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    Women

    Originally posted by Ceroc Jock
    You sure you don't love 1 more than the others, though??
    Well of course the boss Lady is the one I love most of all

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