If I enjoy a dance, can I assume my partner also enjoys that dance.

[Gadget]

I'm often told that a dance was "the best of the evening" - which is good and is what I aim to acheive... but not every dance I have can be the 'best of the evening'

I'm dancing. Therefore I am enjoying my self. My partner: I assume that I'm better at dancing than the chair they were sat on. Therefore they should be enjoying it. {All bets are off if pain is involved... only a very small subset of people like to mix pain and pleasure like that }

[Beowulf]

I wish it were the case but sadly not always so.

I may enjoy a dance that my partner doesn't or vice versa. However, usually If I pick up that they ARE enjoying the dance I do tend to loosen up and enjoy myself a little more too.

[Stuart M]

Trust your instincts. Aside from anything else, they're all you have. Dancers are too luvvie-ish to say whether they actually enjoyed a dance.

And very few dancers are forthright enough to tell you when they didn't. Parallel to the rep system on the Forum, really.

[fletch]

And very few dancers are forthright enough to tell you when they didn't. Parallel to the rep system on the Forum, really.

Its not somthing I would just do off the cuff....'I didn't like that dance'
I wouldn't wan't to hurt there feelings that way, you know when you havn't had a good dance they proberbly didn't like dancing with me just as much

But if I was asked i would say, some guys ask what type of moves you like which is nice

Keep asking guy's we like it

[Nick M]

Speaking personally, if my partner doesn't enjoy the dance, then I don't enjoy it either.

If she's not enjoying herself, then something is wrong, and most of the time, that's my responsibility!

(not my responsibility to entertain her, but to provide a lead and a structure which she can enjoy, and can engage with)

[Genie]

Speaking personally, if my partner doesn't enjoy the dance, then I don't enjoy it either.

If she's not enjoying herself, then something is wrong, and most of the time, that's my responsibility!

(not my responsibility to entertain her, but to provide a lead and a structure which she can enjoy, and can engage with)

Unfortunately it's not always that easy hun. Sometimes a woman/man is not going to enjoy the dance with you for reasons that are out of your control. Not everyone is as easy to please as that (shame).

It's nice that you think your lead is the only reason a follow might/might not enjoy the dance, but any number of other factors that you cannot do anything about might result in the follow not enjoying it. From the music, to personal issues.

You are responsible for the lead, yes, but you are not solely responsible for the enjoyment factor. It takes two, as they say

[Double Trouble]

IMO, some, not all men have no concept of whether I have enjoyed dancing with them.

It's easy to give signs to someone if you are not enjoying the dance, for example, no eye contact, don't smile, spit in their face, but they just don't get the hint and come back for more.

They must be so used to women blanking them and showing no interest, that they think it's the norm.

[Gav]

IMO, some, not all men have no concept of whether I have enjoyed dancing with them.

It's easy to give signs to someone if you are not enjoying the dance, for example, no eye contact, don't smile, spit in their face, but they just don't get the hint and come back for more.

They must be so used to women blanking them and showing no interest, that they think it's the norm.

When you spat at me, kicked me in the shins and said don't ever ask me to dance again, I thought you were just kidding!



Mind you, I did start to wonder when you punched me in the eye!

[Double Trouble]

When you spat at me, kicked me in the shins and said don't ever ask me to dance again, I thought you were just kidding!



Mind you, I did start to wonder when you punched me in the eye!

You never get the hint, do you Gav.

[Jhutch]

I wish it were the case but sadly not always so.

I may enjoy a dance that my partner doesn't or vice versa. However, usually If I pick up that they ARE enjoying the dance I do tend to loosen up and enjoy myself a little more too.

IMO, some, not all men have no concept of whether I have enjoyed dancing with them.

It's easy to give signs to someone if you are not enjoying the dance, for example, no eye contact, don't smile, spit in their face, but they just don't get the hint and come back for more.

They must be so used to women blanking them and showing no interest, that they think it's the norm.

Or maybe they do get that off most women but are trying to improve and have to do it somehow?

[Double Trouble]

Or maybe they do get that off most women but are trying to improve and have to do it somehow?

I agree with you, but one charity dance is enough. Don't want to give charity dances all night.

If I see a really good dancer, i will ask once, knowing that they would rather be with a more experianced dancer, then leave them alone. Some men don't seem to understand that concept.

[Jhutch]

I agree with you, but one charity dance is enough. Don't want to give charity dances all night.

If I see a really good dancer, i will ask once, knowing that they would rather be with a more experianced dancer, then leave them alone. Some men don't seem to understand that concept.

Ah right, i didn't realise that you meant within the same night, i thought you just meant generally

Does seem a bit strange to try to dance more with someone who doesn't seem to be enjoying it

[philsmove]

saw this and though of this thread

[dave the scaffolder]

Or maybe they do get that off most women but are trying to improve and have to do it somehow?

maybe if a man knows a woman did not enjoy a dance he may try again later in the evening. To improve his lead his style, eye contact all of the little things that make a spark and establish a connection, however some people are destined to not dance together their styles may be incompatible and their body rhythms may be out of sync.

[Jhutch]

maybe if a man knows a woman did not enjoy a dance he may try again later in the evening. To improve his lead his style, eye contact all of the little things that make a spark and establish a connection, however some people are destined to not dance together their styles may be incompatible and their body rhythms may be out of sync.

That is possible I always start off very slowly in the freestyle and the first few dances are poor even by my standards. I suppose some people might like to try again when they are doing better? (I try to if it was a girl that i know fairly well)

[Lynn]

That is possible I always start off very slowly in the freestyle and the first few dances are poor even by my standards. I suppose some people might like to try again when they are doing better?

Or it could be a song that you/they really hate. (Though if someone I know well asks me to dance to a song I really don't like, rather than dancing and not really enjoying myself I tell them that I don't want to dance to that track and can I have another dance later. That way they can go and dance that track with someone who will enjoy it and I can dance with them later.)

[David Bailey]

It's easy to give signs to someone if you are not enjoying the dance, for example, no eye contact, don't smile, spit in their face, but they just don't get the hint and come back for more.

Yeah?

[Freya]

I'm finally getting round to posting some sensible comments!

At the BEach BAllroom a couple of weeks ago I wasn't really enjoying myself, It was nothing to do with the people, the music or the dances...It was just that I was a bit stressed and had alot of other things on my mind!

One guy said to me at the end of the dance that I appeared to not be enjoying myself. Was I not getting any good dances! To which I replied yes of-course I was having some really good dances!

So to hark back to a previous posts there are other factors that can influence whether you have a good dance or not!

[Double Trouble]

Yeah?

I'm talking about good dancers David....how does this involve you?

[Twirly]

That is possible I always start off very slowly in the freestyle and the first few dances are poor even by my standards. I suppose some people might like to try again when they are doing better? (I try to if it was a girl that i know fairly well)

It takes me a while to warm up. There is one guy at Clapham (no idea what his name is) whom I really like dancing with, and he often asks me very early in the evening - which is lovely, as he obviously like dancing with me. But I don't feel that I'm dancing my best. So I will often go and ask him again when I've warmed up a bit.

As for how you tell that someone is enjoying the dance, I, apparently, often look rather serious whilst dancing. In fact Trampy wound up pulling faces at me on Saturday because he thought I wasn't smiling enough - yet I was really enjoying the dance and was absorbed in it and the song as it was my current favourite track (and I had been smiling earlier). Just because someone isn't smiling insanely all the way through, doesn't mean they aren't enjoying it at all.

Repeat dances, either that night, or on another night, are definitely the best way to tell if someone enjoys dancing with you. Of course that's where we girls might need to get a bit more proactive with the asking - to give the chaps the feedback they obviously need. And even if someone is in the habit of asking for 2 dances in a row, surely they'd be a masochist to stick to this if they hadn't enjoyed the first one?