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Thread: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

  1. #101
    Registered User Blueshoes's Avatar
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    It's a fact of life that people, both men and ladies, refuse dances for good (and sometimes maybe not so good) reasons. And we all need to get a drink or go to the loo or change our shirt/blouse or staunch the blood from our raw and blistered feet from time to time. For me, as long as it's said nicely or explained well there is no offence and I'll move happily on to be refused by the next individual.

    But there are those people who refuse dances RUDELY . It's about time we decided what to do about these people.

    I've been giving serious thought to starting a vigilante group. The main aims would be to pin the offender against the wall (preferably by the neck) and explain in no uncertain terms how they had hurt a fellow dancers feelings. Then remove a finger or two (for a first offence).

    I had also thought about the old horses head in the bed routine but don't happen to know any horses. Even if I did they probably wouldn't be too cooperative anyway.

    Any other ideas to make the dance halls of our land safe again?
    Last edited by Blueshoes; 26th-November-2006 at 06:30 PM.

  2. #102
    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTramp View Post
    No-one has a right to expect people to agree to dance with them.

    Is it unreasonable to ask why

    when Foxy said he didn't want to dance with me he told me why, I respect him for that, its up to me to change whatever it is if I really want to dance with this person in the future.

    On the other hand when 'Barry the Refuser' said no and I asked why the reasons were complete nonsense and to be honest and insult to my intelligence

    I don't say no very often but if I was asked why I would be honest




    .

  3. #103
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    Is it unreasonable to ask why
    If you ask you have to be prepared to be answered, and you have to be prepared to not be answered. If so, ask away.

  4. #104
    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by MartinHarper View Post
    and you have to be prepared to not be answered. If so, ask away.
    why

  5. #105
    Registered User littlewiggle's Avatar
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    I asked a forumite to dance and wanted to quickly change my mind when I discovered he had just finished eating a bag of cheese and onion crisps.....how gross in a dancing situation!

  6. #106
    Registered User frodo's Avatar
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by SnowWhite View Post
    But recently I've been told the following:

    I'd prefer to dance this track with someone I like.
    I think you just use me for dancing...
    No. (no apology, no explanation, nothing)
    Quote Originally Posted by straycat264 View Post
    Second sounds like a joke (but is pretty damn' bizarre if it isn't)...
    I don't think the second is bizarre comment at all (in general; I suspect, based on other comments it may be bizarre knowing SnowWhite).


    A dance is seldom "just a dance". Dancing with a robot it would be "just a dance".

    It is also a social interaction which hopefully both participants get something (frequently different things) out of.


    If I might as well be an (equally skilled) robot, given the amount of human interaction - the lady is almost entirely wrapped up in herself.
    I don't think it is bizarre to term that "just using me for dancing".


    Over time there have been a small number of ladies, that if a) I was in the habit of rejecting dances, and b) gave a truthful reason, that would be it.


    Of course being a robot substitute, I might still get something out of the dance, despite the lack of social interaction - I might just want to sit out to that particular track, or I might want to practice some moves - so just using me for dancing might be OK. But not always.

    I don't see it as that different from a lady (quite reasonably) saying "You just use me to practice moves".

  7. #107
    Registered User killingtime's Avatar
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by frodo View Post
    A dance is seldom "just a dance". Dancing with a robot it would be "just a dance".
    I don't know... if that robot could transform into something, say a car, then it could be a lift home too .

  8. #108
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Theres only one person I've turned down lots. You see, I'm a young guy and ages ago I used to get stalked by this old lady that obviously fancied a bit of me.
    She kept asking me to dance and acted a bit like she wanted me. Always following me round the dance floor keeping an eye on where I was.

    I didnt notice for a few weeks and was happy to dance with her as its rude to refuse. But then I noticed.

    The other fact was I didnt like dancing with her anyways as she was rubbish and over the weeks / months of dancing made no improvement. She used to tear at my arms and didn't "power" her own bodyweight etc so it was a horrid dance and my arms hurt.

    She soon got the hint and stopped coming to jive about a month later.

    I dont feel guilty for my crimes of refusing her dance requests in the end - fact is she was stalking me and she hurt me during the dances.

    There is currently no-one on my "non-dance list". But serial offenders do get struck off - but dont worry, you have to be a serious stalker / weirdo / dangerous person to dance with for me to refuse ya.

  9. #109
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shodan View Post
    Theres only one person I've turned down lots. You see, I'm a young guy and ages ago I used to get stalked by this old lady that obviously fancied a bit of me.
    Which bit?

  10. #110
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by straycat264 View Post
    Which bit?
    All I think. *insert puking up smilie* <insert puking="" up="" smilie=""></insert>

  11. #111
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shodan View Post
    I used to get stalked by this old lady that obviously fancied a bit of me.
    (Hastily checks Shodan's location) Phew!

  12. #112
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by Shodan View Post
    Theres only one person I've turned down lots. You see, I'm a young guy and ages ago I used to get stalked by this old lady that obviously fancied a bit of me.
    She kept asking me to dance and acted a bit like she wanted me. Always following me round the dance floor keeping an eye on where I was.

    I didnt notice for a few weeks and was happy to dance with her as its rude to refuse. But then I noticed.

    The other fact was I didnt like dancing with her anyways as she was rubbish and over the weeks / months of dancing made no improvement. She used to tear at my arms and didn't "power" her own bodyweight etc so it was a horrid dance and my arms hurt.

    She soon got the hint and stopped coming to jive about a month later.

    I dont feel guilty for my crimes of refusing her dance requests in the end - fact is she was stalking me and she hurt me during the dances.

    There is currently no-one on my "non-dance list". But serial offenders do get struck off - but dont worry, you have to be a serious stalker / weirdo / dangerous person to dance with for me to refuse ya.
    Same thing happens to me with the old ladies.

    Whys it always the old ladies that stalk the young men. Why is it never the young hot girls?

  13. #113
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by littlewiggle View Post
    I asked a forumite to dance and wanted to quickly change my mind when I discovered he had just finished eating a bag of cheese and onion crisps.....how gross in a dancing situation!
    there's a bloke at Cheshunt who does that. Why? and Why cheese and onion, ***. Nasty.

  14. #114
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    there's a bloke at Cheshunt who does that. Why? and Why cheese and onion, ***. Nasty.
    To be fair to him, there is a few times I have used a venues vending machine and not thought about my choice of snack ( think nik naks) always carry a packet of polos !!!!

  15. #115
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by woodface View Post
    Whys it always the old ladies that stalk the young men. Why is it never the young hot girls?
    They're probably too busy trying to escape from the horny old grandads.

  16. #116
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by woodface View Post
    To be fair to him, there is a few times I have used a venues vending machine and not thought about my choice of snack ( think nik naks) always carry a packet of polos !!!!
    Nik Naks? No wonder it's only the old girls who ask you to dance. They probably prefer the smell of your nice and spicy to Blue rinse and p1ss

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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    there's a bloke at Cheshunt who does that. Why? and Why cheese and onion, ***. Nasty.
    I sometimes strat to feel a bit fragile towards the end of a long active freestyle. I reckon that Ihave been loosing salt through perspiration and sugar through activity. Drinking lots of water also upsets the osmotic balance.I will sometimes snack a choccy bar for the sugar, and a packet of crisps for the salt. I do, however, carry foldaway toothbrush and do my best to remove the evidence before returning to the dancefloor.

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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by bigdjiver View Post
    I sometimes strat to feel a bit fragile towards the end of a long active freestyle. I reckon that Ihave been loosing salt through perspiration and sugar through activity. Drinking lots of water also upsets the osmotic balance.I will sometimes snack a choccy bar for the sugar, and a packet of crisps for the salt. I do, however, carry foldaway toothbrush and do my best to remove the evidence before returning to the dancefloor.
    Fair enough, but, cheese and onion? This bloke just chucks the wrapper on the table and gets up and starts dancing again....no hand wash...no mint or drink. Needless to say, ever since I noticed this behaviour, I have refused every dance. it's just not acceptable.

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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Fair enough, but, cheese and onion? This bloke just chucks the wrapper on the table and gets up and starts dancing again....no hand wash...no mint or drink. Needless to say, ever since I noticed this behaviour, I have refused every dance. it's just not acceptable.
    Oh and by the way...don't even get me started on smokers with their breath and smelly hands.

  20. #120
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    Re: Forgive and forget or hold a grudge?

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Fair enough, but, cheese and onion? This bloke just chucks the wrapper on the table and gets up and starts dancing again....no hand wash...no mint or drink. Needless to say, ever since I noticed this behaviour, I have refused every dance. it's just not acceptable.
    Just curious... have you explained to this guy why you're refusing dances? If he doesn't know he's losing dances because of his cheesy crisp eating habits, he's less likely to consider changing them.

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