I'm not sure it IS that common. My partner and I started in January - I asked her about this but she hasn't had a rejection since she started. I've only had one in all that time - and there is no way that I am anything other than a middle-aged pedestrian learner. So come to Cheltenham or Gloucester - where you don't get turned down (much)!
If someone turns you down for a dance I think its perfectly acceptable to find out where they live, petrol bomb their house, steal their identity and engineer an intricate plot to have them framed for a dastardly crime that they did not commit, have them extradited to a third world dictatorship and tried in front of a kangaroo court, inevitably sentenced to 40-50 years hard labour with only half a stale dried crust to eat every day along with perhaps just some mayonaisse for flavour, and reality TV shows for entertainment. Its the least they deserve.
But if all that seems too complicated, you could just remind yourself that its a plentiful ocean out there, move on, and don't trouble yourself with asking them again.
New to this thread and need to reply to this. Those guys seem a bit harsh IMO you shouldnt ask them again and hope they ask you, but if you want to dance with them you can ask them again see what they say.
I can't believe you have been left in the middle of the dance floor that guy didnt even have the common courtesy to finish the dance
Normally if I asked someone and they just said a falt out no I would leave it to them to ask next time.
I would think i was second best if you asked me directly after being refused!
I think you are better to ask a lady that hasn't seen the refusal, I've been in this situation and i felt like i was the 'fat friend' being asked cos the guy couldn't get the gorgeous blonde.
Maybe i'm too sensitive but that's how i felt.
So if a man gets refused by the woman next to you, you'd feel better if he totally ignored you and walked away?
I know what you mean about feeling like the 'fat friend' but if you see two girls or guys standing together you can only dance with one at a time....unless you're Trampy.
MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
Ahh, but I ALWAYS ask the fat friend first. When I was single I can remember being the less attractive friend
And there's a certain irony in saying "sorry you seem like you're second choice" to the "gorgeous blonde"
I've never had a problem with this, and the rsponse from my "second choice" has always been laughter or sympathy - occasionallly, at the end of the dance they've even made a commet about the other woman missing a great dance. And, more importantly, I've never been refused a dance by this "second choice".
I've been turned down countless times mainly by fairly average dancers who think they are amazing.
In contrast, some of the best dancers in the world dance their way around the room making sure that everyone gets a lovely dance with them. Ryan Francois is a good example of this - he dances with everyone, is always polite and always encouraging.
If a guy is clearly exhausted or needing to change or drink some water - I totally understand! I even understand if they want to dance a particular track with someone special. But .. it takes little intelligence and effort to be able to find the person you've turned down and dance with her later on ... to make it all OK!
If I get turned down twice I keep clear for my own sanity.
It can be hard for a non-pushy woman to get dances ... so to ask nicely and then get turned down is horrid.
As Courtney Love said on Jonathan Ross last night - "Manners are free" - some people could do with keeping that in mind!
Haven't figured out how to use a double quote yet. But I wanted to refer to the post about being second choice to the blond beside you. Can't remember whose post it was.
On a few occasions I have asked a guy to dance when he has been standing with another guy - now which one to ask if you haven't danced with either before. It is strange, but I often pick the one that, going on looks alone, I would least prefer to dance with. I just don't know why I do that So it could be that guys might do this too. Perhaps it's not the gorgeous blonde that they really wanted to dance with at all.
MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
Had a fabulous night at Hammersmith last night - no refusals at all - woooo hoooo ...
I did however go and chat to Silver Fox but decided not to ask him to dance because I didn't want to break my 100% refusal-less record!
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