Sorry, are we not meant to keep promises to people without boobs?
This doesn't really workOriginally Posted by Andy McGregor
Ouch, some of those refusals are pretty bad. :cry:
Who benefits from holding a grudge? Nobody. So why would you do it? What you should do (or I do anyway) is don't ask them again. If they come and ask you, show them that your manners are better than theirs and have a dance.
At the same speed as you normally act. It only becomes 'predatory' if you actually stalk somebody or chase them across the floor. Treat people you really would like to dance with about the same as those who you would dance with but are reasonably impartial about. That way you probably won't get to dance with those who you really want to as often as you could but nobody will feel 'intimidated'.
Brave man - I'd be too scared to do that, I'd have the nightmare scenario of working my way along a row of women and getting refused by them all
But my approach is "remember but don't waste time holding a grudge".
There are some women who just won't dance with me - no jokes please - and I suspect that applies to a lot of people. It's best to just accept that it's their loss and carry on.
There is only one person I will always turn down for a dance. The only reason I do that is because not only does she really hurt (once dislocated my finger, then laughed!!!!!!) she is on the wine before a class even starts, she then spends intermediate class being proped up. She will then sit in the corner during freestyle hitting more drink. Then after half hour goes (im assuming because she doesn't get a dance in).
It's not the one you pointed out last night SA, I danced with her twice. Not only was she sober, she was an ok dancer. She does look like the one I am talking about though who was there the night before.
I think, no matter what level you are at, you are still learning. I know sooo many female dancers that have looked good on the floor dancing with their regular dance parter, but then turn everyone down for a dance. Having actually got a dance with a few of these girls, I now know the reason why. They can't dance.
They have spent X amount of time dancing with regular partners and can no longer be lead or get moves that their partner does not do.
Im sure the same goes for the men too.
It is IMO wrong and bad practise for a man to turn down beginners. What do you men who turn down beginners because 'you are too good' do when there is an attractive woman you want to dance with at a party who has never danced before.
I, like anyone, like dancing with the really good dancers but the only way to find out if they are good dancers, is to dance with them wether you find them attractive or not.
To sum up. - No matter how good you are, you are still learning too.
With regards to the origional question. Just assume that the reason that they don't want to dance with them is that they are affraid you will show them up.
Sarah this is a tough one darling i know you and dance with you regular and you have improved my dancing no end however there are women out there who have hurt me when i have danced with them, as i am sure i have hurt women i have danced with. We all dance in our comfort zone to some extent and some women i find intimidating so i am reluctant to ask them to dance and they think he never asks me so i will never ask him who wins in this situation. There are a few women who will not lower themselves to dance with male beginners and then when the men get better we do not forget these ladies and i at least never ask them to dance and never will as a man its a fact that we can pick and choose who to dance with this is a fact of dancing, so you ladies who are standoffish or rude to men think again because there are literally plenty more fish in the sea. This makes me sound arrogant and rude which i am not but there are more women than men in dancing and you ladies do not want to alienate to many men or you will be dancing amongst yourselves.
yeah but he looks so much better in pink....
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