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Thread: Middle Children

  1. #1
    Registered User Trousers's Avatar
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    Middle Children

    Morning,

    Who saw the program on Middle Child Syndrome last night.
    I got to see a lot but not all which was infact a shame because it was very interesting.

    Quote :- Essortment website
    The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.

    It was one of those "Aha! Knew it!" moments when paranoia clears momentarily and all those years of reading The Catcher in the Rye become worthwhile and you know that they really were out to get you!

    Apparently we are are as good as screwed as soon as the third child arrives (ok maybe this has exercised my bitter and twisted gene).

    Anyone see the program?

    Any other Middles out there?

  2. #2
    Dickie Davies' love-child Cruella's Avatar
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    Re: Middle Children

    I'm a middle child. It seems that some of the things you have written 'fit' me too. I wish i'd seen this programme what time / station was it on?

  3. #3
    Registered User Trousers's Avatar
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    Re: Middle Children

    Five last night around 9.00

    it was scarily insightful

    See here

    The thing that the program did was to try and discover Middles from a group by talking to them trying to psychoanalyse them. They found 2 out of the 3 they were offered from a group of about 12. Pretty good accuracy i thought. The program aluded to things like how the parents always considered that their treatment of children was equal and were shocked when ity was shown not to be so, although they did not have any parents included in the show.

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    Re: Middle Children

    Quote Originally Posted by Trousers View Post
    It was one of those "Aha! Knew it!" moments when paranoia clears momentarily and all those years of reading The Catcher in the Rye become worthwhile and you know that they really were out to get you!

    Apparently we are are as good as screwed as soon as the third child arrives (ok maybe this has exercised my bitter and twisted gene).
    Probably not as screwed as the first child when the second child turns up!

    What did they say about the second child of five, which is what I am?

    They found 2 out of the 3 they were offered from a group of about 12. Pretty good accuracy i thought.
    Not really a big enough sample to be convincing. And did they say any of the non-middles were middles?

  5. #5
    Registered User Trousers's Avatar
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    Re: Middle Children

    it was a full set 3 middles, 3 firsts, 3 youngest and 3 only

    I reckon you've just won your self a new name there Hx Two of Five!

    I reckon you are allowed to be screwed up too, come on i'll budge up a little.

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    Re: Middle Children

    Quote Originally Posted by Trousers View Post
    I reckon you are allowed to be screwed up too, come on i'll budge up a little.
    Like I need permission but appreciate the thought!

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    Re: Middle Children

    As a Mum of 4, I constantly worry that I am screwing up my children in some way.

    I think no matter what I do, at some point they will tell me what a cr@p job I have done bringing them up, even though I try to do my best

    Especially since I've discovered the forum, they have been left to fend for themselves

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    Re: Middle Children

    Well I'm the middle of 3 and I'm completely screwed up and I can relate with loads of what you posted, but it's down to me or the environment, my Mum couldn't have done a better job as a single parent

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyMarmalade View Post
    As a Mum of 4, I constantly worry that I am screwing up my children in some way.

    I think no matter what I do, at some point they will tell me what a cr@p job I have done bringing them up, even though I try to do my best

    Especially since I've discovered the forum, they have been left to fend for themselves
    4!!!
    You didn't look stressed, harassed & completely exhausted when I met you?

    Welcome to the forum, give it a couple of months and you'll have completely forgotten you had kids.

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    Re: Middle Children

    Quote Originally Posted by Gav View Post

    4!!!
    You didn't look stressed, harassed & completely exhausted when I met you?

    Welcome to the forum, give it a couple of months and you'll have completely forgotten you had kids.

    Kids, What kids??

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    Re: Middle Children

    Those of you who know me won't be surprised to learn that not only am I a middle child but both of my siblings are female.

    I purposely didn't watch this program as I thought I might find it a bit disturbing.... maybe I should have, I might have learned some new excuses...

  11. #11
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Middle Children

    I'm a middle child but I don't relate to any of the above maybe because their was quite large age gaps between us... my brother's 5 years older and my sister is 8 years younger than me (my poor mum thought she was going through the change, only to find out she was 5 1/2 months pregnant and to cap it off, ended up having he 2months prem )

    I'm so lucky, I have a great relationship with all my family, especially my sister, of whom I've always got on with, even when we were kids.
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    Re: Middle Children

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    I'm so lucky, I have a great relationship with all my family, especially my sister, of whom I've always got on with, even when we were kids.
    I'd have been one of 6 or 7 if I'd had my way, though I don't think my mother would have been overjoyed!.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Minnie M's Avatar
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    Re: Middle Children

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    I'm a middle child but I don't relate to any of the above maybe because their was quite large age gaps between us... my brother's 5 years older and my sister is 8 years younger than me (my poor mum thought she was going through the change, only to find out she was 5 1/2 months pregnant and to cap it off, ended up having he 2months prem )

    I'm so lucky, I have a great relationship with all my family, especially my sister, of whom I've always got on with, even when we were kids.
    me too - my brother 7 years older and my sister 8 years younger and mum thought she was going through the change when she had my sister and also was 5 or 6 months before she knew - eeerrrie


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    Registered User Trousers's Avatar
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    Re: Middle Children

    Quote Originally Posted by jivecat View Post
    I'd have been one of 6 or 7 if I'd had my way, though I don't think my mother would have been overjoyed!.
    I'm curious as to how you would have instigated this

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    Re: Middle Children

    I am not a middle child myself... but decided that 2 children would be an ideal number... 1 boy and 1 girl... and fortunately that is exactly what I got.. well, that is what I thought..

    Then.... all of a sudden, almost straight after number 2 (a girl) I fell pregnant with number 3 (also a girl).. And after 6 months feeling dreadful and mostly guilty (and crying a lot), I accepted the situation and got on with it.. The hardest thing of all, was seeing No 2's look of confusion when No 3 arrived.. she was so very, very young, but she knew something had changed..

    Maybe it was my guilt that affected her, I will never know.. she is bright, funny, intelligent and strong-willed.. but, she is now 15 and a typical teenage girl. Watching her grow up I have seen traits of this 'syndrome'.. I know she is affected by it..

    I feel that no matter how hard we try, she will always feel inadequate in comparison to her siblings and she has definately been the most difficult temprament wise to cope with.. she always feels that we love the 'others' more.. the fact is, she is adorable, but goes through phases of jealousy and complete unreasonableness.. (is that a word?) And then becomes adorable again.. It is hard work.

    The good news is hopefully she will maybe grow out of this (!) and that she does work hard at school.. (a) because her brother has done brilliantly and (b) her little 13 year sister is also a bright little thing.. it is a competitive thing I suppose...

    In saying this though, I have absolutely no regrets about having the three of them.. each one is unique and special in their own way..



    NB wish I had seen the programme...

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    Re: Middle Children

    Quote Originally Posted by Trousers View Post
    I'm curious as to how you would have instigated this
    They didn't seem to need my help with the first 5!

  17. #17
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    Re: Middle Children

    Quote Originally Posted by jacksondonut View Post
    Then.... all of a sudden, almost straight after number 2 (a girl) I fell pregnant with number 3 (also a girl).. And after 6 months feeling dreadful and mostly guilty (and crying a lot), I accepted the situation and got on with it.. The hardest thing of all, was seeing No 2's look of confusion when No 3 arrived.. she was so very, very young, but she knew something had changed..

    Maybe it was my guilt that affected her, I will never know.. she is bright, funny, intelligent and strong-willed.. but, she is now 15 and a typical teenage girl. Watching her grow up I have seen traits of this 'syndrome'.. I know she is affected by it..

    I feel that no matter how hard we try, she will always feel inadequate in comparison to her siblings and she has definately been the most difficult temprament wise to cope with.. she always feels that we love the 'others' more.. the fact is, she is adorable, but goes through phases of jealousy and complete unreasonableness.. (is that a word?) And then becomes adorable again.. It is hard work.
    I was interested in this, JD, but sorry to hear that you felt guilty for inflicting a third child on your existing family. Thinking of it another way, wouldn't an extra sibling only enrich their lives? I know it has done for me and that's why I would have been very happy for my parents to have had more, especially boys, as my siblings are mostly female. (Don't think that sounds quite right.)

    Also, you are clearly concerned to provide high-quality parenting for all your children, and I'm sure they will appreciate this for the rest of their lives. In my family, sibling rivalry is not very evident and I think that's because there were 5 of us, so there were limits to how much of our parents attention we could expect to get, so we didn't expect all that much.

    I think that first-born children take the arrival of a 2nd sibling hardest because they have enjoyed undivided attention from their parents up until that time, whereas subsequent children are used to sharing their parents' time and love from birth. Apparently, the effect is at its worst if the second child is born when the first is 2 - later on they are more emotionally mature and can cope with it better.

  18. #18
    Registered User Zebra Woman's Avatar
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    Re: Middle Children

    Quote Originally Posted by jivecat View Post

    I think that first-born children take the arrival of a 2nd sibling hardest because they have enjoyed undivided attention from their parents up until that time, whereas subsequent children are used to sharing their parents' time and love from birth. Apparently, the effect is at its worst if the second child is born when the first is 2 - later on they are more emotionally mature and can cope with it better.
    Being a hard done by first borne I am obviously sick of the whinges of the middle and last child.

    I haven't seen the program yet, but I did notice that it was repeated last night so I have recorded it onto DVD.

    If there are any whinging middle children out there who would like to borrow it then they are most welcome. Just PM me.

    Of course I get to view it first as I'm the first child.

    ZW

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    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Middle Children

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebra Woman View Post
    Of course I get to view it first as I'm the first child.

    ZW
    That's not fair, you ALWAYS get to do everything first!
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  20. #20
    Registered User Zebra Woman's Avatar
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    Re: Middle Children

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    That's not fair, you ALWAYS get to do everything first!
    Er.... no actually....

    I do believe the middle child gets to go to bed first.


    Off you go now.



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