Inspired by the wonderful posts on the Camber thread, I thought I'd post this, to inform all you lovely weekender-goers about what to expect. Don't thank me, it's a public service.
Q: Do you need a special invitation to come to the forumite gatherings?
A: Yes, sorry, you do need a pass. And to get it, you need a full background check done by the CRB (Ceroc Records Bureau), which involves a six-week wait, £93 fee, and at least one personal interview with the Gathering Gods. Don't even try to enter without a pass.
Q: I'm a single woman, is it too late to book my space?
A: Absolutely not - never too late to book, there's always plenty of spaces free for extra women, and the organisers are happy to be called at the last minute to provide these. Don't worry.
Q: What is the accommodation like?
It's great - luxurious, fully-fitted, fully-heated, they treat you like royalty. 5-star hotel level, you can even nick the free towels they provide if you want.
Q: Should I bring spare clothes for dancing?
Nah, you'll be fine as you are - a couple of T-shirts should see most people through the weekend. The free deodorant provided in the luxurious chalets (as described above) will keep you fresh.
Q: How long do people stay up dancing?
Everyone leaves around midnight - at least, all the best dancers do. The poor dancers usually hang around till a bit later - sometimes even to 2am! - but that's just because they need all that extra practice.
Q: Talking of these good dancers, where do they all hang out?
A: Typically, the best dancers are always in the Main Room - the big one, with the popular music. That's why there are so many people there - they all want to be where the good dancers are. The ones who need practice typically stick in places like the Blues Room.
Q: Hmmm, is it easy for women to get dances though?
A: Absolutely. In fact, all women usually have to refuse the queues of men wanting to dance with them. It's best if you play hard-to-get - sit in a corner, and look uninterested. Maybe refuse the first few men who ask you, to be on the safe side.
I'll add more as I think of them...
Now I know you have to much time on your hands DJ
its going to be lonely, with no on to play with this weekend
Very funny never the less
A few more:
Q: How much luggage shall I bring?
A: Well, obviously, the luxury chalets mean you won't need much, but feel free to bring anything you want. The on-site porters are more than happy to transport and suitcases, no matter how heavy, the 20ft or so from your car to your chalet.
Q: 20ft?
A: Yes, each chalet has its own parking bay, just outside, so you don't need to worry about parking. The more cars the better, in fact.
Q: What are these "Weekender Buddies" I've heard of?
A: These are kind public-spirited dancers, who act as guides to other dancers who are lost, escorting them to their (luxury) chalets after dancing. That's why you see them coming out from someone else's chalet. They may stop over for a cup of cocoa as well, which is why sometimes they're quite a long time in the other person's chalet, or leave at 5am.
Q: So no-one does, err, anything untoward then?
A: Absolutely not. You filthy-minded person, how dare you imply anything of the sort. Everyone behaves perfectly respectably. Hmmpph.
A few more...
Q: What's the best way to get there?
A: Always travel alone. Car sharing is frowned upon, weekender organisers much prefer independent free thinkers.
Q: Do I need to keep my weekend pass?
A: No, forget the cards sent in advance, they are totally unnecessary and the cute security guards never ask to see them. But don't forget the afore-mentioned Forum Gathering Pass, that's important.
Q: Does it get cold?
A: No, never - luxury chalets, remember - free heating plus well-insulated. Plus, the South Coast is always warm, even in November.
Q: Power points?
A: Lots of power points in apartments, close to mirrors so easy use of hair dryers, curlers, etc.
Q: What about asking for second dances?
If anyone asks you for a second dance, it’s weekend speak for ‘you’ve pulled, here’s my chalet number’. Although, of course, no-one ever does, because no-one gets up to anything untoward. But whatever you do, don't ask for a second dance.
Q: Weekender Speak - "Water"?
Water is a euphemism, so if anyone mentions water they mean ‘you’ve pulled, here’s my chalet number’. Again, don't ask anyone to "Get me some water, please".
Q: What about these dance cards?
A: Advanced dancers are issued with dance cards. Average dancers make their own dance cards. Appalling dancers never see dance cards
This has made me want to go this weekend even more than i had, thanks David, seems like i will have a very luxurious weekend.
Gent
FRANCK!! FRANCK....can we give DJ another forum name please.
David_I_have_far_far_too_much_time_on_my _hands_James
Q: I can't make it to [the next weekender] - will I miss anything?
A: Yes. Each weekender is a unique and priceless event, which once gone can never be recovered. Everyone should go to every one, and if you don't, you should feel miserable and left-out the whole time. Don't let anyone tell you "there's another one next week" - those people are just Evil Monsters.
Q: Are the classes any good?
A: Of course! Much better than any other classes, anywhere. The 400-to-1 ratio and the 2ft high stages are ideal teaching environments. And, as numbers are typically even, you don't need to bring a partner (those couples with fixed partners are just the ones who need the most practice, you should pity them).
Im concerned we dont have a 'the aftermarth thread yet ??'
I thought the cabaret was mixed but Franco given bottle water out as you entered the site was a nice original touch but to offer a full car clean and wax as you left was again raising the bar (my legs don’t need waxing)
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