LOL
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied
OR
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
OR
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
ENJOY GIRLS,, MADE ME SMILE ANYWAY
SORRY BOYS BUT YOU KNOW ITS TRUE.
LOL
*cough*
*ducks*
(Look at her location)
In that case, as I lived in Essex for quite a few years (as well as up North) I retaliate with.
A Londoner, working up north, parks his brand new Porsche in front of the
office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a
truck comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door
before screeching off.
More than a little distraught, the Londoner grabs his mobile and calls the
police. Five minutes later, a policeman arrives and before he has a chance
to ask any questions, the Londoner starts screaming hysterically:
"My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long at
the panel beaters, it'll simply never be the same again!"
After the Londoner finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head
in disgust, "I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Londoners are,"
he says. You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice
anything else in your life."
"How can you say such a thing at a time like this?", snaps the Londoner.
The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off
when the truck hit you?"
The Londoner looks down in absolute horror ....."F**king hell!!" he
screams....... "Where's my Rolex?!"
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