Dreadful Scathe

[b]office[/b]

oh the hilarity

At the ground floor of the building I currently work in, there is a 2 foot high foldable plastic yellow sign with the words "trip hazard" emblazoned importantly across it.

At least one person has tripped over this, so it's certainly not a lie.

It's quite close to some heavy rubber edged and perfectly safe rugs which you are far less likely to trip over than the sign, but someone, somewhere thought this was needed.

[b]the walk home[/b]

ok i don't walk all the way home but i do walk 20 minutes to get the train. The pedestrianised loveliness of Buchanan Street is marred only by the CHARITY NINJAS who leap at you from behind foliage and lampposts (being slim hippy types, you never see them till the last minute). I've given up avoiding them. I did try the mad staring eyes which didn't deter. So my latest is , in my normal Scottish accent, "Sorry I can't speak English". It works well, confusion or laughter are the only responses.

Tonight I'll advise them to all congregate outside the Apple Shop, those people have WAY too much money.

I do object to getting assaulted by these people, I am capable of deciding to give money to charity, and do, very regularly, and don't need the latest pretentious spiel from Shelter, Care, Oxfam and whoever else dons the colours and brandishes the clipboard when I'm on my way home to my lovely family.

GET A PROPER JOB HIPPIES.

Hmm, T-shirt idea.