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View Full Version : Guys, do you ask guys to dance?



straycat
7th-September-2006, 10:49 AM
Since we're having fun with the other two polls, I thought a slightly different slant might be nice...

under par
7th-September-2006, 11:40 AM
I can'y follow so it is as a leader I have danced with a few men.

Johnah

Tramp

Kev F

Captain Fantastic

Andy Mcgregor

to name a few I can recall just now

Beowulf
7th-September-2006, 11:48 AM
only if I need to Ask Gadget to go over a move or something..

robd
7th-September-2006, 11:52 AM
Trampy asked me to lead him once.

I asked him at a subsequent event.

I also asked jammy when he was here recently (why should the ladies get all the fun??)

That's about the extent of it. Not something I go out of my way to do. I suspect a more dynamic style than mine would be better suited to guy-guy dancing.

straycat
7th-September-2006, 11:52 AM
I can'y follow so it is as a leader I have danced with a few men.


I can follow MJ, but not particularly well. It's a fun exercise though...

Two guys dancing seems to attract some very odd looks in some venues. Especially with blues. :devil:

Considering that I'm toying with the idea of doing a few beginners lindy classes as a follower, I do wonder if this might scare off some newcomer men, and hence not be completely welcomed by the organisers...

How have other men on here approached the whole learning-to-follow issue?

ducasi
7th-September-2006, 12:26 PM
About a year ago I had a wee go at learning to follow. At that time I was led by a couple of guys, but I mainly practiced with a girl who was learning to lead. I was hopeless at it, and quickly gave up.

Since then I can only recall one occasion when I danced with a guy who asked me to lead him.

It's not something I would choose to do normally.

robd
7th-September-2006, 12:31 PM
How have other men on here approached the whole learning-to-follow issue?

Chef posted some very good stuff on his experiences and the difficulties he encountered a while back - shouldn't be too tricky to search out.

Some men who lead and follow say they prefer being lead by men (not wishing to denigrate the many fine female leads out there) because they feel the lead is firmer (and perhaps their following is less 'sensitive' than the ladies who usually follow the female leaders?)

I've followed a couple of girls (until they took out an injunction) but it didn't work particularly well. the only person who's ever lead me that I felt like they knew what they were doing was MsFab but I don't wish to ask her or, say, Sparkles to dance with me as leaders because they are forced to do enough of that with other ladies due to the usual gender imbalance.

I wouldn't ever try to follow in a standard Ceroc class - I think, rightly or wrongly, it would make too many of the other men uncomfortable.

Robert

Andreas
7th-September-2006, 12:53 PM
My following in MJ is rather poor, as ESG can vouch for. :whistle: Though, I do enjoy dancing as a follower in Latin dances, including Salsa. It provides an opportunity to chill a bit and play more :devil:

Gadget
7th-September-2006, 01:15 PM
I've danced with a few men, but always as a lead: I can't follow particularly well and tend to steal control back if I'm led.
I have found that male followers tend to be a lot "heavier" in the connection and more determined to do their own thing (or what they think is being led) rather than following. {This same trait I find to a lesser extent in some followers who lead all the time}

killingtime
7th-September-2006, 01:19 PM
Since then I can only recall one occasion when I danced with a guy who asked me to lead him.

I shall have to ask you more then :na:. I find following is useful for lots of reasons. You learn about what leads work and what don't. You can steal moves, ideas and style from the guys you are following.

As a rubbish follower (hopefully getting better though) I think I need a really strong lead to guide me around the floor. There are a lot of women that are great leads but sometimes I find guys better at leading me through my oblivious following. Dancing with the likes of Trampy is not an experience I'd soon forget.

Jivingdan
7th-September-2006, 08:08 PM
I have only ever danced with men very occcasionally and usually just to give the girls at the venue a laugh. By the way ignore my comments in the girls do you ask the men to dance because I hadn't seen that this thread had been started

ducasi
7th-September-2006, 08:28 PM
I shall have to ask you more then :na:. I find following is useful for lots of reasons. You learn about what leads work and what don't. You can steal moves, ideas and style from the guys you are following. I don't know... Shouldn't you be able to tell from dancing as a leader which of your leads work well and which don't?

And wouldn't you be able to pick up these points easier just be watching a guy dance, rather than having to try and follow him at the same time?

under par
7th-September-2006, 10:13 PM
I shall have to ask you more then :na:. I find following is useful for lots of reasons. You learn about what leads work and what don't. You can steal moves, ideas and style from the guys you are following.

As a rubbish follower (hopefully getting better though) I think I need a really strong lead to guide me around the floor. There are a lot of women that are great leads but sometimes I find guys better at leading me through my oblivious following. Dancing with the likes of Trampy is not an experience I'd soon forget.

If I see you at the Scottish Champs I'll lead you around the room and Ducasi too if you are up for it.! Though not together can't do dt.

Lynn
7th-September-2006, 10:26 PM
If I see you at the Scottish Champs I'll lead you around the room and Ducasi too if you are up for it.! Though not together can't do dt.I think I recall you leading Trampy and Andy McG in DT...

MartinHarper
7th-September-2006, 11:41 PM
To answer the question, if I see a guy I know will happilly dance with me, I'll always aim to get a dance or two out of him over the evening. Regretfully my name/face recognition is abysmal, and I tend to forget who these people are all too quickly.

Sadly, I rarely ask strange guys to dance, largely because the refusal rate is so high, and partly because some of the ones who say no take so darn long to say it. (rant starts) If you think guys have cooties, a simple "no" will suffice. I don't want to hear your feeble attempts at cross-gender comedy, nor do I want to repeat my question five times while your tiny little mind wraps itself around the idea. (rant ends)

I guess I need to practice asking guys to dance gracefully and speedilly. Ho hum.


I wouldn't ever try to follow in a standard Ceroc class - I think, rightly or wrongly, it would make too many of the other men uncomfortable.

I get far fewer refusals in an intermediate class than in freestyle, on the rare occasions I've been allowed to (or done it surreptitiously). Shorter timespan, I guess.


Shouldn't you be able to tell from dancing as a leader which of your leads work well and which don't?

As a leader I can tell which of my leads work and which don't. However, as a follower I can tell which of everyone's leads work best. If I'm looking to make a lead that already works, work even better, following provides information about things I can change to achieve that. You can get the same results in other ways, but following does help, and in a way that complements practicing leading.


wouldn't you be able to pick up these points easier just be watching a guy dance, rather than having to try and follow him at the same time?

As a follower you have to pay lots of attention to the guy's lead for the dance to work, so that's very compatible with learning stuff about leading. Also, you get much more information about a lead from feeling it that seeing it. I can tell from watching a guy that he's touching his partner, but very little about the subtle forces he is applying through that touch.
For leader-styling, I think you can learn more from watching, for the reasons you mention. From following you can get some idea about those effects of a piece of leader-styling on the follower, which is good to know.

I started following as a way of improving my lead. Then I discovered how much I love following, and nowadays I follow because it's excessively good fun.

TheTramp
8th-September-2006, 12:09 AM
All the time! :whistle:

Lee
8th-September-2006, 01:00 PM
Since we're having fun with the other two polls, I thought a slightly different slant might be nice...

I selected 'hardly ever', due to the fact I'm not aware any guys want to or can follow. I've tried to dance with Spice & Easy, but I'm much rather use the time dancing with a lady follower. (no offence R, but you've got massive hands hehe)


Lee

Baruch
9th-September-2006, 07:43 PM
I sometimes ask other guys to dance, but most of them don't seem to be in favour of the idea.

I'm happy to lead, follow or swap around, but I freely admit I'm not the world's best at following. If my partner gives me a strong lead I'm OK, though.

Cruella
9th-September-2006, 08:22 PM
I selected 'hardly ever', due to the fact I'm not aware any guys want to or can follow. I've tried to dance with Spice & Easy, but I'm much rather use the time dancing with a lady follower. (no offence R, but you've got massive hands hehe)


Lee

He followed me beautifully at Ashtons last night. Although i really could have done without it when i visited the ladies room. :D
(No comments please about me not being a lady!)

Spice 'n' Easy
9th-September-2006, 11:39 PM
He followed me beautifully at Ashtons last night. Although i really could have done without it when i visited the ladies room. :D


:blush: :blush: Sorry about that. Really much pay more attention to where i'm going in future :whistle:

killingtime
11th-September-2006, 11:45 AM
If I see you at the Scottish Champs I'll lead you around the room and Ducasi too if you are up for it.! Though not together can't do dt.

Dang. I didn't read this until after the champs. If you get a chance at Southport I'd love a dance :flower:.

whitetiger1518
11th-September-2006, 03:18 PM
I put that I like to watch.. I have (ah my rotten memory) to my knowledge seen it once, a masterclass dance between Pretzel and Franck!

It looked like they were having a lot of fun, and everything was executed with superb accuracy and skill (as you would expect with those two :worthy: ).

I wouldn't be surprised if they both caused an awful lot of jealousy among the watching followers (I know I was :tears: ) - after all - 2 incredible dancers completely unavailable to everyone else :eek:

As I said though it really was incredible to watch, and if I ever make it to a quarter of their skill then I will be so pleased with myself.

Cheers
Whitetiger

djtrev
11th-September-2006, 09:31 PM
Not a chance in hell.

Yogi_Bear
11th-September-2006, 09:34 PM
Not a chance in hell.
Maybe not in Norfolk, but in Portugal, I'm not so sure.....

djtrev
11th-September-2006, 10:29 PM
Do you know something that I dont Ian...

As it happens I would just LOVE to see somebody who can do MJ.
I was looking forward to a rest from it when we came over here but by God have I missed it!!

MartinHarper
11th-September-2006, 11:01 PM
Not a chance in hell.

You're in the "Ick!" category then? :)

TheTramp
12th-September-2006, 12:14 AM
Not a chance in hell.

Ah. But would you turn down a request yourself? :rolleyes:

jammy
12th-September-2006, 12:39 AM
i really love to follow i do it as much as i can i also like to lead a male

as robd was sayin about dancin in as a folllower i think its easyer dancin with a male either the lead is to soft or to late or mainly some ladies think they have to be the hulk and the lead is way to strong

well i mostly follow trampy and i also get the chance 2to do the odd arial as some of u might have seen at the champs this weekend:grin: . when i went to london i had a really good dance with robd was one of my best dances but i never refuse a dance from ladys or a guy unless i have a good reason or im scared of yo hehe:yum:

i also feel it has also done me good one way is it helps me when i take my taxi class but i think it has helped in my dancin as i was sayin before like in my lead is it to late strong or soft even connection you cant get that by just watchin

and i put up a thread ages ago about guys following and i can roughly remember ducasi saying something about he dosnt do it cauz u cant flirt with a guy when u dance (but i didnt know dancin was all about flirting)

under par
12th-September-2006, 01:33 AM
At the Scottish champs I managed a dance with Johnah.

Then at Stirling Tea dance I had a great laugh leading Franck. Never let it be said that I dropped Franck he sort of let go a bit:whistle: .

I'm sure the photos are on here somewhere already just haven't had time to find them yet having only just got in.

look forward to a few more at SP.

jammy and tramp looked really good at the weekend even did it blindfolded:respect:

quiet_flame
12th-September-2006, 01:38 AM
I only ask guys who I know I can get away with asking.

Guys following seems to be a little less accepted over here...
Or there's just more people dancing over there... :whistle:

I always have a good dance with Trampy when he's over here.
Alex Bryan (a salsa champ over here) also is great to dance with.
Then there's a couple of guys from Melbourne who are beautiful follows.

for me, I try to follow... sometimes it takes two songs for me to fully switch over to following properly. As long as the moves are kept relatively basic, I'm okay...
I know I'm a heavyish follow... but I don't get enough dances as a follow to really work on it. Cos there's less guys over here who i can ask for a dance. :)

Gentabout
12th-September-2006, 09:21 AM
I have tried it a few times, once with a friend who i had dragged along dancing kicking and screaming, he was really struggling to get the tension correct and could not remember a single move, so i spent a track back leading him through the routine. I think he felt more comfortably making a fool of himself with me rather than a lovely lady, i on the other hand felt very odd. I also tried it with a fellow taxi one evening but it just ended up with us both fighting for the lead.

Gent.