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LMC
17th-July-2006, 10:25 AM
How will the corrupt genie wreck your wish?

(answer the previous wish then make one of your own)

Example:

I wish ice cream was free

It is, but you're now allergic to ice cream


I wish it was the weekend

Piglet
17th-July-2006, 10:26 AM
I wish it was the weekend
It is but you've been drafted in for overtime AGAIN!

I wish my boyfriend was here right now

azande
17th-July-2006, 10:32 AM
He is but he is pissed and snoring on the sofa...

I wish I was on holiday

LMC
17th-July-2006, 10:34 AM
You are. In Afghanistan.

I wish chocolate wasn't fattening :(

straycat
17th-July-2006, 10:34 AM
I wish my boyfriend was here right now

He is, he's all excited about joining the Moonies, and he's passionately telling you to come along to the next gathering ... it'll change your life!

I wish our office had better air-conditioning.

straycat
17th-July-2006, 10:35 AM
OOps. Bit slow. Sorry :(

straycat
17th-July-2006, 10:36 AM
I wish chocolate wasn't fattening :(

It isn't, but it makes all your hair fall out.

I still wish our office had better air-conditioning.

Dynamo
17th-July-2006, 10:39 AM
It has, but you dont work there now.

I wish I had a laptop in the garden

Dynamo
17th-July-2006, 10:40 AM
:yeah: you may be slower but I appear to be slower :blush:

philsmove
17th-July-2006, 10:42 AM
I still wish our office had better air-conditioning.


It has and it's been moved to Northern Siberia

I wish I could understand women

LMC
17th-July-2006, 10:43 AM
Congratulations on your gender/sex change

I wish I was more motivated to get on with the b****y filing...

Dynamo
17th-July-2006, 10:46 AM
congratulations you are now Mr Motivator :devil:

I wish my tea was not so hot

straycat
17th-July-2006, 10:49 AM
I wish I had a laptop in the garden

THUNDERSTORM!!! Congratulations on your new, sodden laptop!



I wish my tea was not so hot


You probably wish you hadn't spilt it all on the floor as well...

I wish I could think of something to wish for.

Piglet
17th-July-2006, 10:53 AM
You're wish is my command - you have now wished for a sexy partner, a house in the Caribbean and loads of dosh, unfortunately you wished for it for your neighbour!

I wish that I had a secretary / chef who loved to work for no money whatsoever

LMC
17th-July-2006, 10:57 AM
You have, unfortunately you have to re-imburse them for their work with sexual favours

I wish it wasn't so hot

Dynamo
17th-July-2006, 10:57 AM
I am that chef, but I have no work to do so left to cook for one.

I wish I could concentrate on my job application

straycat
17th-July-2006, 11:06 AM
I wish it wasn't so hot

Congratulations! You've been transferred to my new Siberian office!



I wish I could concentrate on my job application


Bingo! Shame the deadline was yesterday.

I wish the Evil Genie would be nice to me this time.

LMC
17th-July-2006, 11:17 AM
*gives straycat a big sloppy kiss* What a terrible shame that you don't fancy me in the slightest.

I wish the same for the next person as they grant me...

Dynamo
17th-July-2006, 11:43 AM
You are so lucky, but you get what I wished for myself instead

I wish my goatie would grow a little darker :devil:

Piglet
17th-July-2006, 11:46 AM
It has - alas! you now have horns to go with it

I wish that I could go and jump into a swimming pool in my garden right now

Dynamo
17th-July-2006, 11:48 AM
You can, but they cant dig the hole till next week.

I wish for a nice cold shower ( perhaps the horns will wash off )

straycat
17th-July-2006, 11:52 AM
I wish that I could go and jump into a swimming pool in my garden right now

Shame you forgot to put on your swimming cozzie, and are revealing a bit more than you intended to the world... :devil:

I wish I was there. :whistle:

Dynamo
17th-July-2006, 11:55 AM
You are there, but minutes after Piglet finds her modesty

I wish I knew a joke for the jokes thread

LMC
17th-July-2006, 11:59 AM
You do, unfortunately they have all already been posted. Don't let that stop you though... :devil: :rolleyes:

I wish I could fly

Dynamo
17th-July-2006, 12:04 PM
Its your birthday, and the Genie is not so mean.
So you can fly and sprout little angel wings.

Happy birthday LMC :Kiss

I wish I could see you fly

Donna
17th-July-2006, 12:07 PM
Its your birthday, and the Genie is not so mean.
So you can fly and sprout little angel wings.

Happy birthday LMC :Kiss

I wish I could see you fly


She did for a split second when she jumped off the cliff, but the wings were too small.

I wish I could go back to bed now

Dynamo
17th-July-2006, 12:08 PM
I bet you wished someone was there to catch her :devil:

They were but the tide was already in :devil:


I wish I could type faster

Donna
17th-July-2006, 01:41 PM
I bet you wished someone was there to catch her :devil:

They were but the tide was already in :devil:


I wish I could type faster


Wish granted. Now you suffer from severe RSI.

I wish we could have a big thunder storm to cool the air down.

Aleks
17th-July-2006, 01:42 PM
You can though you now earn a living audio typing 14 hours a day...

I wish my income exceeded my expenditure.

Gadget
17th-July-2006, 01:51 PM
Granted: unfortunatly your income is in Drachmas and your expenditure is in Sterling.

I wish... for enough resources not to bother with "work" again.

LMC
17th-July-2006, 01:55 PM
You are now living the Good Life (except without Felicity Kendall - I'm an Evil Genie remember?)

I wish I had a tub of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia on my desk

straycat
17th-July-2006, 02:00 PM
I wish I had a tub of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia on my desk

Melted. Not just on the desk, but all...over...it...

I wish I hadn't sunburnt my head on Saturday.

Donna
17th-July-2006, 02:25 PM
Melted. Not just on the desk, but all...over...it...

I wish I hadn't sunburnt my head on Saturday.

Ok sunburn gone, but I won't replace all the hair I had to take off in order for it to work properly. Sorry.


I wish an ice cream van would park up outside my office. :drool:

Nick M
17th-July-2006, 02:31 PM
You are now living the Good Life

I wish I had a tub of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia on my desk

I thought it was Margo and Jerry?

straycat
17th-July-2006, 02:32 PM
Ok sunburn gone, but I won't replace all the hair I had to take off in order for it to work properly. Sorry.

What hair? :tears:


I wish an ice cream van would park up outside my office. :drool:

... and then refuse point-blank to serve you :cool:

[EDIT] forgot to wish..... that I was getting on with some work, not getting distracted by the forum!

Cruella
17th-July-2006, 02:32 PM
It has, but it's jingle is stuck on play and can't be switched off! It's driving you nuts! (Oh and it's sold out of ice cream too)

I wish all the nasty people in the world would become nice.

LMC
17th-July-2006, 02:34 PM
They are all now nice, and have just left in a spaceship for a better world. Actually, that would probably be a good thing.

All the nasty people are now nice, unfortunately, all the nice people have become nasty.

I wish I could find shoes that fit me

straycat
17th-July-2006, 02:35 PM
It has, but it's jingle is stuck on play and can't be switched off! It's driving you nuts! (Oh and it's sold out of ice cream too)

I wish all the nasty people in the world would become nice.
Done! Shame all the nice people just became nasty :really:

Repeating last wish (plus an extra plea for some willpower)

Donna
17th-July-2006, 02:37 PM
They are all now nice, and have just left in a spaceship for a better world. Actually, that would probably be a good thing.

All the nasty people are now nice, unfortunately, all the nice people have become nasty.

I wish I could find shoes that fit me

You have, and they are a 6 inch heel! :eek:

I wish the evil genie could become a nice genie.

Cruella
17th-July-2006, 02:40 PM
I wish the posts didn't keep overlapping. :whistle:

ducasi
17th-July-2006, 04:18 PM
I wish the posts didn't keep overlapping. :whistle:
Your wish has come true! Now no-one's posting!

I wish my house was tidy and clean.

Donna
17th-July-2006, 04:31 PM
Your wish has come true! Now no-one's posting!

I wish my house was tidy and clean.


It is now. Now you have extremely noisey neighbours.

I wish I could have a BBQ now.

LMC
17th-July-2006, 04:56 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, your boss takes a dim view of this and you've just been sacked.

I wish it were legal to use napalm in my (overgrown) garden

straycat
17th-July-2006, 04:56 PM
I wish I could have a BBQ now.

There you go! The magic BBQ which makes you put on three stone overnight! :devil:

I wish my boss would buy me a really good Mac at work to replace my PC.

drathzel
17th-July-2006, 06:16 PM
There you go! The magic BBQ which makes you put on three stone overnight! :devil:

I wish my boss would buy me a really good Mac at work to replace my PC.

He did but then you were transfered again!

i wish that my accounts were done for me

Gadget
17th-July-2006, 07:45 PM
Done - by monkeys. Now it will take 5 years to sort out that mess.

I wish I were with my freinds, with an ice cool drink, an out-door dance floor and a smooth band playing :waycool:

ducasi
17th-July-2006, 07:56 PM
I wish I were with my freinds, with an ice cool drink, an out-door dance floor and a smooth band playing :waycool:Done! I've also invited all the local seagulls along too! :)

I wish I didn't have this mouth ulcer. :(

ShinyWeeStar
17th-July-2006, 08:20 PM
Done! I've also invited all the local seagulls along too! :)

I wish I didn't have this mouth ulcer. :(
Done! It's now in your stomach. :na:

I wish the children at the club would all behave themselves. :rolleyes:

LMC
17th-July-2006, 08:26 PM
No action required, they are evidently behaving themselves already. Just badly.

I wish I had some food in my fridge

ShinyWeeStar
17th-July-2006, 08:35 PM
Alacazam! Your fridge is full - of Whiskas finest.

I wish I was going dancing tonight.

Gadget
17th-July-2006, 08:40 PM
Done. Unfortunatly it's all out of date and smells really bad.
Done. It's mongolian folk dancing with real yacks.

I wish I had a better computer

ducasi
17th-July-2006, 10:49 PM
I wish I had a better computer
Done! But the genie forgot to transfer your files during the upgrade and has sent your old one to the Magic Recycling Company – it's already been turned into pixie dust!

I wish I didn't feel so hyper when I want to go to my bed.

Gadget
17th-July-2006, 10:58 PM
:tears:
Done; but you are now so lethargic that you can't be bothered getting out of it again to dance.

I wish I was the best dancer on the planet.

LMC
17th-July-2006, 10:59 PM
Welcome to Mars

I wish water wasn't so boring to drink

ducasi
17th-July-2006, 11:02 PM
I wish water wasn't so boring to drink
Nae bother – water is now alcohol! :eek:

I wish I had blond hair.

Sparkles
18th-July-2006, 12:03 AM
You have - all over the palms of your hands!

I wish I owned a big house in the country

Piglet
18th-July-2006, 12:12 AM
Granted - You now live in a palace - deep in the country in South America 1000 miles from anywhere close to civilisation

I wish that it was always sunny in Aberdeen during the day and rainy at night (so we wouldn't have a hose pipe ban)

LMC
18th-July-2006, 08:52 AM
Granted. Shame you now live in Queensland, Australia.

I wish my boss would let us have the day off 'cos of the heat

Piglet
18th-July-2006, 08:59 AM
You got it, but you're not out of work because the heat was caused by a raging inferno

I wish that there were more hours in the day

Sparkles
18th-July-2006, 10:15 AM
There now are - but they're all much shorter than 60mins, so you haven't gained any time at all.

I wish people could learn to put aside their differences and get along together

El Salsero Gringo
18th-July-2006, 10:22 AM
There now are - but they're all much shorter than 60mins, so you haven't gained any time at all.

I wish people could learn to put aside their differences and get along togetherGranted. Now everyone is *exactly the same* and life has become intolerably boring.

I wish ... I had a new pair of dance shoes.

LMC
18th-July-2006, 10:29 AM
Granted. Size 2.

I wish I could decide what to have for breakfast

Sparkles
18th-July-2006, 10:42 AM
You have now decided that for breakfast you would like pickled onions with rotten fish and bits of metal :sick:

I wish I had perfect eyesight

Tessalicious
18th-July-2006, 10:48 AM
You do, in one eye - the other got worse to compensate.

I wish I had a great job lined up, starting next week.

LMC
18th-July-2006, 11:01 AM
You do, but the hours of work are 6 pm to 1 am 7 days a week. And it's in the Falkland Islands.

I wish I had more holiday

Tessalicious
18th-July-2006, 11:21 AM
Granted - 4 days off a week for the rest of your life, but you always have to work weekends without fail, so no more weekenders for you.

I wish my room was tidy.

El Salsero Gringo
18th-July-2006, 11:34 AM
Granted - 4 days off a week for the rest of your life, but you always have to work weekends without fail, so no more weekenders for you.

I wish my room was tidy.You just got burgled, and they took everything. I mean - *everything*. Left the place spotless though.

I wish I could dance Salsa.

jiveknight
18th-July-2006, 12:07 PM
You just got burgled, and they took everything. I mean - *everything*. Left the place spotless though.

I wish I could dance Salsa.

Granted! You can, but only as a follower...


Wish I had a new car!

LMC
18th-July-2006, 12:08 PM
Done. It's 6 inches high and made of Lego.

I wish coffee wasn't so addictive

Gadget
18th-July-2006, 12:39 PM
Granted; you just get addicted to drinking tea instead.

I wish... I could remember what I've forgotten.

Sparkles
18th-July-2006, 02:54 PM
You've remembered what you forgot - it was that yesterday was your wedding anniversary and now you're in big trouble!

I wish I had a puppy

Piglet
18th-July-2006, 03:35 PM
No problem - you've got 2! Hush puppies! shh now!

I wish that I could have a full body massage

Donna
18th-July-2006, 03:39 PM
No problem - you've got 2! Hush puppies! shh now!

I wish that I could have a full body massage


Granted, but you had a severe allergic reaction to the massage oil.:D

I wish September would hurry up so I can go on holiday!!:sad:

Piglet
18th-July-2006, 03:41 PM
It has been hurried along but we're now on 18th July 2007 and you're a year older and looking forward to this year's holiday in September

TPBM wishes they could tan in 5 seconds

LMC
18th-July-2006, 03:47 PM
Wrong thread

I actually wish that the next Ice Age would bloody well hurry up, I hate this heat.

Rhythm King
18th-July-2006, 04:00 PM
Granted: You are now lying crushed under a 2000' thick glacier.

I wish I was healthy

ShinyWeeStar
18th-July-2006, 04:20 PM
You are - until you get hit by a passing double decker, ouch!

I wish that my favourite unhealthy foods (ice cream, chocolate, etc) were good for me.

LMC
18th-July-2006, 04:23 PM
Done, but the necessary change in your metabolism has made you violently allergic to airborne oxygen.

I wish I was at home

ShinyWeeStar
18th-July-2006, 04:39 PM
You are - you now live in your office.

I wish it was tea time.

baldrick
18th-July-2006, 09:07 PM
It is-- now you have to cook for the rest of us.

I wish I could go mountain biking tomorrow

LMC
18th-July-2006, 09:22 PM
Done - collect your P45 on your way back

I wish I wasn't so stupid :(

Beowulf
18th-July-2006, 11:25 PM
Done - collect your P45 on your way back

I wish I wasn't so stupid :(


You wish is my command. however you're now an eminent physicist and with world lecture tours and research, you have no time to dance ot meet your friends.

I wish I was loved.:tears:

pmjd
18th-July-2006, 11:41 PM
I wish I was loved.:tears:

Granted but it's by Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction so I hope you like rabbit stew:wink:

I wish I was more confident and charismatic(?) at public speaking

Piglet
19th-July-2006, 12:55 AM
You now have oodles of confidence but no sense to make you aware that your mates now find you arrogant. You are so charismatic that Lynx adverts are now based on you and you have 5 girlfriends on the go, however, the stress of keeping them all secret from each other is making your hair fall out and you've developed a bit of halitosis!

I wish for world peace.

Dynamo
19th-July-2006, 02:35 AM
I wish for world peace.

Your wish is granted, peace in our time :D , Nelson Mandella salutes you :respect:
but then the next US president digs out a book on past world boundaries and sets about settling old border disputes unilaterally :tears:

I wish today could last forever

Cruella
19th-July-2006, 07:52 AM
Granted, but it is the worst day you've ever had.
I wish i could be 21 again

Piglet
19th-July-2006, 09:27 AM
I wish i could be 21 again
No problem = you can be 21 forever - you're now a no. 21 bus!

I wish that my son would drop his teenage "attitude"

Beowulf
19th-July-2006, 09:37 AM
Granted.. but now he's a baby again.. for ever.. nappy changing and sleepless nights are your life from now on.

I wish For more wishes ;)

Piglet
19th-July-2006, 09:40 AM
Your wish is my command - but they will only work for other people

I wish that we all looked after our world a bit better

Rhythm King
19th-July-2006, 11:13 AM
Granted: your world is now an ice-covered airless rock, in pristine condition, located on the far side of Pluto.

I wish I could dance better

straycat
19th-July-2006, 11:33 AM
I wish I could dance better

You are now a dancing god... shame you've lost all enjoyment in it.

I wish I were a dolphin.

pmjd
19th-July-2006, 11:44 AM
I wish I were a dolphin.

Granted, you are now swimming about the sea but have just been caught along with a load of tuna in non-dolphin friendly nets and ended up in a tin in a supermarket

I wish I could play the violin well
(only one person has heard my awful rendition of twinkle twinkle little star, a once in a lifetime experience for all the wrong reasons:blush: )

Gadget
19th-July-2006, 01:48 PM
Done: unfortunatly it's only "well" in the opinion of cats and horror movie score writers.

I wish I could see what would have happened if I had taken some of the opportunities that I let pass.

Dynamo
19th-July-2006, 01:54 PM
Granted, you stop to chat and end up marrying this goergous lady who dances like a princess, you are the CEO of a multinational corporation, life is really good at the top.
But she was toMarry the new US president, who becomes president but is heartbroken and starts world wars to solve his ego.

I wish I was not verbose

pmjd
19th-July-2006, 05:31 PM
I wish I was not verbose

Granted, your now a mime artist for the rest of eternity

I wish snakes became extinct

Beowulf
19th-July-2006, 06:27 PM
Granted.. but now the planet is overrun with rodents!!

I wish I was on Holiday

Dynamo
19th-July-2006, 06:29 PM
Granted, you are on the Billie Holiday celebration tour.

I wish my house was instantly tidy

pmjd
19th-July-2006, 06:41 PM
Granted, you are on the Billie Holiday celebration tour.

I wish my house was instantly tidy

Granted but now you know where nothing is kept and make a mess of it again trying to find anything

I wish for a little bit of happiness in life (yeah I'll get the violin out for the sad music:whistle: )

Gadget
19th-July-2006, 07:05 PM
Granted - but you need to know real misery 99% of the time to appreciate that little 1%.

I wish my job paid more.

Dynamo
19th-July-2006, 07:19 PM
Granted, you are now a bank teller, you pay everyone

I wish I had done more work today

LMC
20th-July-2006, 08:25 AM
You're so efficient that you've done everything and optimised/reinvented company systems so that they can cut down on 1 employee. You'll get a good reference though, bye.

I wish that my coffee cup would refill automatically

Dynamo
20th-July-2006, 09:54 AM
I wish that my coffee cup would refill automatically by LMC

Your wish is granted, but you chip the bottom as you place it on the top shelf. You now wake to find the house 5 feet deep in coffee and flooding off down the street. :devil:

I wish it would only rain at night after 4am

El Salsero Gringo
20th-July-2006, 10:00 AM
by LMC

Your wish is granted, but you chip the bottom as you place it on the top shelf. You now wake to find the house 5 feet deep in coffee and flooding off down the street. :devil:

I wish it would only rain at night after 4amSorted. Thunderstorms every night from 4-5. Unfortunately, your new job requires you to be outdoors every morning during this time. So not only do you have to get up early, you're going to get very wet, too.

I wish could sleep better in hot weather.

Cruella
20th-July-2006, 10:02 AM
I wish could sleep better in hot weather.
You can, now when ever it's hotter than 25 degrees you instantly fall asleep!
I wish i was at home.

Dynamo
20th-July-2006, 10:09 AM
You are, but its a dogs home ( for Dalmations of course :wink:)

I too wish I could sleep better in the heat

Cruella
20th-July-2006, 10:19 AM
You are, but its a dogs home ( for Dalmations of course :wink:)

I too wish I could sleep better in the heat
Granted! You and ESG will be falling asleep together!
I wish it was friday.

Dynamo
20th-July-2006, 10:27 AM
I wish it was friday. by Cruella

You are now forever Friday ( Man Friday, that is :devil: ) castaway on some sandy tropical island with No dancance floor :sad:

I wish for my breakfast be brought up to me now

LMC
20th-July-2006, 10:42 AM
Done. Literally, by someone who already ate it.

I wish that I could wander round my office with no shoes on (silly H&S rules :mad: )

Dynamo
20th-July-2006, 11:08 AM
Done. Literally, by someone who already ate it.
QUOTE]

Ooooh, just gone off breakfast :what: : wink:

[QUOTE]I wish that I could wander round my office with no shoes on (silly H&S rules )

No problem, you nolonger have to wear shoes in office, they are now steel toe capped waders for foundaries
(H&S typing error, but founary worker can now wear courts)

I wish you cant see what I can wear in my office ( really )

whitetiger1518
20th-July-2006, 11:52 AM
I can't see what you are wearing, you are invisible. :really:

I wish I was on a permanent contract. :sad:



Whitetiger

Gadget
20th-July-2006, 12:39 PM
You've just sold your soul :devil:

I wish everyone happyness

Donna
20th-July-2006, 01:33 PM
You've just sold your soul :devil:

I wish everyone happyness


They are - now everbody is gay :rofl:

ducasi
20th-July-2006, 01:38 PM
I wish Donna would post a wish!

ducasi
20th-July-2006, 04:54 PM
I wish Donna would post a wish!
I guess there are some wishes that even an evil genie can't do. :sad:

I wish I was going to the pub in 10 minutes.

Cruella
20th-July-2006, 05:02 PM
I wish I was going to the pub in 10 minutes.
You are, it's really hot and you're dying for a nice cold beer, but they won't let you in!
I wish it was this time tomorrow and i had now broken up for the 6 weeks school holiday. :clap:

LMC
20th-July-2006, 07:10 PM
Done. Unfortunately, it's your feet that have broken off, they got left in the school, the caretaker has left the country so no dancing for you until September.

I wish my cats would stop hissing at each other

Gadget
20th-July-2006, 07:18 PM
Done - they now can talk and have blazing rows instead, shouting over your favourite TV show and music.

I wish people didn't get damamged so easily.

Caro
20th-July-2006, 07:26 PM
Done. Unfortunately, it's your feet that have broken off, they got left in the school, the caretaker has left the country so no dancing for you until September.

I wish my cats would stop hissing at each other

granted, they now won't stop barking loudly at each other:devil:

I wish we had our part of the paneuropean sunny & hot weather pie in Aberdeen (fog and 18 deg today) :sad:

Caro
20th-July-2006, 07:32 PM
oops too late!!:blush:


Done - they now can talk and have blazing rows instead, shouting over your favourite TV show and music.

I wish people didn't get damamged so easily.

they don't anymore, now people don't feel anything anyway. thanks for taking away happiness gadget !

I still wish we had our part of the paneuropean sunny & hot weather pie in Aberdeen (fog and 18 deg today) :sad:

Beowulf
20th-July-2006, 08:40 PM
granted..it's now permanently hot but now the lousy UK water supply dries up, the NHS falls down with all the heat problems and everybody moans about it being too hot.

I wish I could read peoples minds.. to know what they really think of me.

Cruella
20th-July-2006, 08:45 PM
I wish I could read peoples minds.. to know what they really think of me.
You can, but you really wish you couldn't :what:
I wish that wasps were extinct. :sick:

Gadget
20th-July-2006, 11:34 PM
Granted, but midgies grow bigger to fill the neiche and start invading englandshire.

I wish there was no need for people to build weapons capable of killing more than five people at once.

Beowulf
21st-July-2006, 08:00 AM
granted.. there's now only 5 people in the entire planet and they're all evenly spaced out.

I wish I didn't look like Gadget. ;)

LMC
21st-July-2006, 08:58 AM
Done. You now look like you were separated at birth from Rab C Nesbitt (vest, hairband and all...)

I wish that Ashtons would provide FREE water and put in extra fans tonight as it's so damn hot

El Salsero Gringo
21st-July-2006, 09:11 AM
Done. You now look like you were separated at birth from Rab C Nesbitt (vest, hairband and all...)

I wish that Ashtons would provide FREE water and put in extra fans tonight as it's so damn hotGranted. But it's no longer for a Ceroc gig because they've had a better booking from Matthew Corbett with the Sooty and Sweep show.

I wish we had colonies on Mars.

ToeTrampler
21st-July-2006, 09:21 AM
I wish we had colonies on Mars.
We do but they are colonies of salmonella, they've formed their own government and now call their home 'Believe'.

I wish I enjoyed all forms of exercise

Dynamo
21st-July-2006, 09:21 AM
I wish we had colonies on Mars.

Granted Too late, the Martians are already here! they have colonised Slough :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I wish we had a little bit of pluto's weather :wink:

Dynamo
21st-July-2006, 09:23 AM
We do but they are colonies of salmonella, they've formed their own government and now call their home 'Believe'.

I wish I enjoyed all forms of exercise

:blush: :blush: Sorry Toe Trampler seemed to have trampled on your reply :blush:
have your thread back

Piglet
21st-July-2006, 11:42 AM
I wish I enjoyed all forms of exercise
Now you do, you annoy everyone who knows you because you're always hot and sweaty and can't stay still for all of 10 seconds. No-one can have a decent conversation with you because your words are punctured with all the jogging on the spot you do

I wish I didn't have a sore throat

LMC
21st-July-2006, 01:54 PM
Granted. Your feet are sore instead.

I wish Starbucks was an ethical company so I didn't have to feel guilty about being addicted to their Frappucino Espresso Lites :blush:

Dynamo
21st-July-2006, 04:32 PM
I wish Starbucks was an ethical company so I didn't have to feel guilty about being addicted to their Frappucino Espresso Lites :blush:

Granted, the definition of the word ethical is now re-defined across the world to;
"Any thing that does not cause mass genocide!"
(you concience is eased :devil: and frapp is still good :D )

I wish I was in 2 places at once

Rhythm King
22nd-July-2006, 02:19 AM
You are. Your top half is in a nice Stephen Hawking-styley motorised wheel chair and the bottom half has been mounted in brine, in a large jar, by Damien Hirst and is in the Saatchi Gallery.

I wish I'd done my packing for Beach Boogie :sad:

Tiggerbabe
22nd-July-2006, 02:32 AM
I wish I'd done my packing for Beach Boogie :sad:
Done, except you can't remember the combination for the lock, and you've packed away all your clean underwear :eek:

I wish there was still some Baileys left in the bottle :innocent:

WittyBird
22nd-July-2006, 03:22 AM
I wish there was still some Baileys left in the bottle :innocent:

There is, but the bottle is located in your local shop which is closed until Christmas

I wish I could get into the size 6 jeans I bought by mistake :mad:

Beowulf
22nd-July-2006, 12:03 PM
Your wish is my command.. You have now got a degenratative muscle wasting disease and never ending sickness and diahorro.. dire hir.. dihar.. never ending sickness and the trots. You are very thin but have no energy to move

I wish I could spell

Cruella
22nd-July-2006, 12:06 PM
I wish I could spell
You can, you're now a witch! (with boils and everything:D )
I wish i was going dancing tonight.

Tessalicious
22nd-July-2006, 12:25 PM
You was, but now you isn't, innit.

I wish I could dance better in dance trainers.

ducasi
22nd-July-2006, 12:39 PM
You was, but now you isn't, innit.

I wish I could dance better in dance trainers.
No problem – you (with your heels) are now the size of an ant. Shouldn't have any problems dancing inside dance trainers now...

I wish I knew what I was going to do the rest of the weekend.

Cruella
22nd-July-2006, 02:16 PM
I wish I knew what I was going to do the rest of the weekend.

You now know that you have an audition at The Pink Handbag (Blackpool) on Monday. So you are spending all the weekend practising as a drag queen, and waxing away all your hairy bits!

I wish i could lose some weight before my holiday, without the hard work!

WittyBird
22nd-July-2006, 04:22 PM
I wish i could lose some weight before my holiday, without the hard work!

You have, but it's only come off the right hand side of your body :D

I wish I didn't have to drive to Hammersmith tonight

Cruella
22nd-July-2006, 04:35 PM
I wish I didn't have to drive to Hammersmith tonight
You don't, you have to walk instead.
I wish my dance shoe hadn't broken last night :tears:

Feelingpink
22nd-July-2006, 08:04 PM
You don't, you have to walk instead.
I wish my dance shoe hadn't broken last night :tears:
It hasn't, but your foot is so swollen, you can't get it on.
I wish a handyman would appear to change the light fittings & add dimmer switches.

WittyBird
23rd-July-2006, 01:24 AM
I wish a handyman would appear to change the light fittings & add dimmer switches.

He did, he just knew nothing about electrics and blew your house up, you now have no abode

I wish the music at Hammersmith had been better

Beowulf
23rd-July-2006, 12:09 PM
Shazaaaam !!

The music was the best you have ever heard but after hearing the best most heavenly music in the universe everything else now sounds like fingernails on a blackboard and you have to wear ear plugs all day and sleep in a sensory deprivation chamber to shield yourself from the cacophony

I wish I wasn't so self effacing and had a better self image.

WittyBird
23rd-July-2006, 12:14 PM
I wish I wasn't so self effacing and had a better self image.

Bingo, but you're now so arrogant and obnoxious you've lost all your friends and live the life of a recluse

I wish I didn't have to pack a suitcase

Feelingpink
23rd-July-2006, 12:17 PM
Bingo, but you're now so arrogant and obnoxious you've lost all your friends and live the life of a recluse

I wish I didn't have to pack a suitcaseYou don't. You're now moving to the other side of the world, so you have to pack up all your possessions instead.
I wish I didn't have to travel to Oxford today.

Beowulf
23rd-July-2006, 12:21 PM
Granted.. you and I swap places. I'm going to Oxford but you're stuck in Aberdeen with a flat full of dirty dishes and laundry to do!

i wish I knew how to get back home form Oxford ;)

WittyBird
23rd-July-2006, 12:26 PM
I'm going to Oxford

I wasn't going to Oxford in the first place!


i wish I knew how to get back home form Oxford ;)

You do! but all your belongings are in Aberdeen you have to hitch hike or walk wearing WittyBirds clothes :eek:

LMC
24th-July-2006, 09:44 AM
Play properly WB - wish please ... :devil:

Icey
24th-July-2006, 01:43 PM
i wish I knew how to get back home form Oxford ;)

< Puff of smoke > ... you do know the way home from Oxford but you're in Timbuktoo.

I wish I could take a week off work

Piglet
24th-July-2006, 01:45 PM
Granted - but you've only got the week off because you've got an unknown nasty bug which means you need to visit the loo every 5 minutes...

I wish that I was feeling well

Piglet
24th-July-2006, 01:46 PM
Granted. Your feet are sore instead.

Wow - this evil Genie kinda works - though I've still got a sore throat and sore thighs to go with the tender feet!

whitetiger1518
24th-July-2006, 02:19 PM
Granted - but you've only got the week off because you've got an unknown nasty bug which means you need to visit the loo every 5 minutes...

I wish that I was feeling well


You are well, but you are now bored because you have given the bug to everyone else..:sad:


I wish that my dance shoes were properly broken in, so that I could dance all night in them. :tears: :tears:

Whitetiger

Cruella
24th-July-2006, 02:22 PM
I wish that my dance shoes were properly broken in, so that I could dance all night in them. :tears: :tears:

They are broken in half. So now you have to dance on tip toes all the time.
I wish my sons back would heal up!

Piglet
25th-July-2006, 02:49 PM
I wish my sons back would heal up!
Your son now has no legs and the heels of his feet stick out of his back half way up! His toes are where his shoulder blades should be.

I wish there was a miracle cure that solved every ailment

LMC
25th-July-2006, 02:53 PM
There is. Unfortunately it kills you within 3 seconds.

I wish I could work from home

Feelingpink
25th-July-2006, 02:56 PM
There is. Unfortunately it kills you within 3 seconds.

I wish I could work from homeYou can. Unfortunately, home doesn't have any doors or windows & you can't escape.
I wish I had a bunch of fresh flowers delivered free twice a week.

Piglet
25th-July-2006, 02:57 PM
What a lovely thought - it's arranged, however you now get hayfever every time you receive a bouquet of flowers and it beds you for 3 days!

I wish that whenever I wanted something nice to happen I would just have to click my fingers

WittyBird
25th-July-2006, 04:11 PM
I wish that whenever I wanted something nice to happen I would just have to click my fingers

You can - unfortunately you just lost both hands in a nasty accident

I wish I wasn't in the seedy Matlock Bath hotel on my own :eek:

LMC
25th-July-2006, 04:17 PM
*waves hands around in vague and strange gestures*. You now have the Corpse to keep you company.

I wish my intrays were empty

WittyBird
25th-July-2006, 04:20 PM
I wish my intrays were empty

They are but you've just been sacked for shredding your work load :D

I wish my laptop wasn't just about to run out of battery

Beowulf
25th-July-2006, 05:34 PM
granted.. it's now wired into the mains with a very short cable.. you can't go anywhere with it now.

I wish there was something good on TV

LMC
25th-July-2006, 05:39 PM
Granted. *hands Beo a very attractive pot plant*

I wish I was more motivated

Piglet
25th-July-2006, 11:48 PM
Granted you are now Mr Motivator! And are on the move 24 / 7.

I wish that I could stay up all night without feeling sleep deprivated

Lou
26th-July-2006, 08:10 AM
I wish that I could stay up all night without feeling sleep deprivated
You can. But only because you're busy on the night shift & get to sleep all day.

I wish someone would fetch me a cup of coffee.

LMC
26th-July-2006, 08:58 AM
Done. Unfortunately they have forgotten the actual cup and the cool light white linen trousers you're wearing are ruined.

I wish it wasn't so horribly muggy today

Lou
26th-July-2006, 10:26 AM
the cool light white linen trousers you're wearing are ruined.
White linen?! :rofl: You do know who you're talking to, don't you?


I wish it wasn't so horribly muggy today
Granted! A huge proper cold & damp Victorian pea souper of a smoggy fog decends upon old London Town instead, complete with Jack The Ripper lurking around the next corner...

I wish I felt the urge to go dancing again.... :(

whitetiger1518
26th-July-2006, 11:57 AM
You do want to go dancing now.
Only problem is the pea souper has closed all venues.

I wish I was going dancing instead of on holiday :(

Piglet
26th-July-2006, 03:43 PM
You can do both - you're now booked on a flamenco holiday and there are no gorgeous men around either!

I wish that I could have got into work on Monday and Tuesday this week too!

WittyBird
29th-July-2006, 11:27 AM
I wish that I could have got into work on Monday and Tuesday this week too!

You did they just decided not to pay you :D
I wish my clothes were ironed

ShinyWeeStar
29th-July-2006, 11:58 AM
You did they just decided not to pay you :D
I wish my clothes were ironed
Your clothes are now all beautifully ironed and folded, but as they shrunk in the wash they are now two sizes too small and you have nothing to wear! :really:

I wish I had slept longer this morning. *yawn*

WittyBird
29th-July-2006, 12:00 PM
Your clothes are now all beautifully ironed and folded, but as they shrunk in the wash they are now two sizes too small and you have nothing to wear! :really:

I wish I had slept longer this morning. *yawn*

You did, it's Monday and you're late for work :really:

I wish I hadn't lost my Oakley sunglasses last night

ShinyWeeStar
29th-July-2006, 12:15 PM
You did, it's Monday and you're late for work :really:

I wish I hadn't lost my Oakley sunglasses last night
You didn't, but you left them on the floor so that you stood on them when you got up this morning, breaking them and hurting your foot into the bargain. :yum:

I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair. :flower:

Tessalicious
29th-July-2006, 12:18 PM
You are, so you get laughed at both by the real punk rockers who would never do anything so silly, and the flower-sporting hippies who think you're seriously confused, man.

I wish I could get enthusiastic about going dancing tonight.

WittyBird
29th-July-2006, 12:24 PM
I wish I could get enthusiastic about going dancing tonight.

You have unfortunately the heels have snapped off all your shoes

I wish I didn't ache all over

LMC
29th-July-2006, 01:22 PM
Granted, all your muscles have atrophied, so they no longer exist, let alone ache.

I wish the skirt I want to wear tonight would hurry up and DRY.

Piglet
29th-July-2006, 04:51 PM
Oops it's now so dry its just caught fire and there's not much left of it

I wish that a colleague would come to her senses about the deadbeat she lives with

pmjd
29th-July-2006, 04:56 PM
I wish that a colleague would come to her senses about the deadbeat she lives with
Granted, She comes to her senses but the shock puts her in a coma

I wish I wasn't feeling so fed up all the time

Piglet
29th-July-2006, 05:43 PM
Granted you now can not eat anything without being sick and will never be "fed up" again. You waste away and become a shadow of your former self

I wish that I could learn all of the words to Lily Allen's brilliant CD

pmjd
29th-July-2006, 05:48 PM
I wish that I could learn all of the words to Lily Allen's brilliant CD

Granted but now you know no other words and can only speak using lines from her songs

I wish to meet the woman of my dreams:awe:

Beowulf
29th-July-2006, 05:57 PM
granted... now you can never wake up..

Your body seems to be in a coma and you're fed from a drip !

I Wish I could sing

pmjd
29th-July-2006, 05:59 PM
granted... now you can never wake up..
Your body seems to be in a coma and you're fed from a drip !

But I get to meet her:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:



I Wish I could sing

Granted - you can now sing like Orville the Duck

I wish to have fantastic cooking skills

Piglet
29th-July-2006, 06:03 PM
Done! You are now brilliant at cooking the books, unfortunately you will be caught by the VAT man and imprisoned for a long, long, long time.

I wish that I could cook something fantastic for supper tonight

Little Monkey
29th-July-2006, 06:30 PM
You can! But then you get gastroenteritis, and can't eat any of it...

I wish I was a size 8....

Piglet
29th-July-2006, 08:45 PM
You are, but you are also a monkey and look rather odd beside your family and friends, dressed up in your size 8 clothes and size 8 shoes

I wish that I had perfect teeth

under par
29th-July-2006, 09:30 PM
You are, but you are also a monkey and look rather odd beside your family and friends, dressed up in your size 8 clothes and size 8 shoes

I wish that I had perfect teeth

you have and they look good in the glass by your bedside at night.

I wish I lived in sunny Spain

Piglet
29th-July-2006, 09:39 PM
You do, but the ground and vegetation is all dried up because of a lack of rain for the past 5 years - there's a hose-pipe, bath, shower, swimming pool, car-wash, and water-rides ban on constantly. Tis no fun being a (smelly) prune.

I wish that I could hypnotise all the brilliant dancers to be queueing up to dance with me all night at every event I go to.

ShinyWeeStar
29th-July-2006, 10:31 PM
I wish that I could hypnotise all the brilliant dancers to be queueing up to dance with me all night at every event I go to.
Granted - but all they can do brilliantly now is queue; &quot;dancing&quot; with them under hypnosis feels like dancing with zombies...all night at every event. Lucky girl! :na:

I wish I was going on a nice relaxing holiday this year.

Beowulf
29th-July-2006, 10:36 PM
Shazam..

You are going on a nice relaxing holiday.. ah her Majesty's pleasure.. 3 months bread and water in a maximum security prison .. charged with being in possession of excessive cuteness without a licence ;)

I wish I knew what I was going on about ;) hahaha

Piglet
29th-July-2006, 10:40 PM
Kaboom! You do! Unfortunately no-one else has got a blind clue - including the evil genie and you get no more wishes fulfilled.

I wish that there was an olympic sport of finding the centre of a maze.

ShinyWeeStar
29th-July-2006, 10:40 PM
I wish I knew what I was going on about ;) hahaha
Et voila, now you do - shame no one else does! ;)

I wish I could find the middle of the maze! :na:

Edit: Darn, too slow! Great minds though Piglet! :wink:

LMC
30th-July-2006, 12:32 PM
Piglet & SWS: You are now *both* brilliant at finding the centre of a maze. Finding your way out though...

I wish I had got out of bed earlier this morning

Little Monkey
30th-July-2006, 06:11 PM
I wish I had got out of bed earlier this morning

You did. Just in time to step on the hedgehog (escaped from the Singleton's Sofa) that chose that exact moment to crawl out from underneath your bed, so you're now in a hospital bed with your feet in big bandages.

I wish I was a millionaire.

WittyBird
30th-July-2006, 09:39 PM
I wish I was a millionaire.

Oh yes......... you most certainly are but you have no social skills or friends and you smell.

I wish I hadn't just got flashed on the 406

Dazzler
30th-July-2006, 09:49 PM
I wish I hadn't just got flashed on the 406

You never but unfortunately you did flash at everyone that passed you on the 406!

I wish i had a week off between jobs!

WittyBird
30th-July-2006, 09:54 PM
You never but unfortunately you did flash at everyone that passed you on the 406!

Have we met? :rofl:


I wish i had a week off between jobs!
You have, your induction is to work in the circus da da da da lada da da da da da

I wish I could smile & laugh tonite

Dazzler
30th-July-2006, 10:01 PM
Have we met? :rofl:

Not that i know of....yet :grin:


I wish I could smile & laugh tonite

You can but you forgot to put your falsers in and we are all laughing too :rofl:

I wish i was on the 406 earlier....

WittyBird
30th-July-2006, 10:04 PM
I wish i was on the 406 earlier....

You were about 10 mins ago, but you've gotta drive back to Scotland and be at work in an hour.

I wish my bath would run itself

Dazzler
30th-July-2006, 10:08 PM
I wish my bath would run itself

It will but the plumber just quoted you £3000 to turn it off again

I wish i lived above a chinese take-away

WittyBird
30th-July-2006, 10:10 PM
I wish i lived above a chinese take-away
You do but they just got closed down by environmental health for food poisoning all the locals


I wish I had all my stuff ready for work tomorrow

Dazzler
30th-July-2006, 10:17 PM
I wish I had all my stuff ready for work tomorrow

You do but in your tired state you put in the freezer by accident

I wish i could get a hug before i go to bed

Beowulf
30th-July-2006, 11:29 PM
granted.. bet you wish your neighbour hadn't lost their boa constrictor now ;)

Wish I could rustle up £7 for dancing this tuesday

Piglet
30th-July-2006, 11:50 PM
You can but the venue is cancelled this Tuesday and you drop your money down a drain as you make your way home again feeling dejected

I wish it was 3 hours ago

Beowulf
31st-July-2006, 09:16 AM
Shazaaam..

it is.. but three hours from now you'll wish it was 3 hours ago and so now you're stuck repeating the same 3 hours over and over and over .. ala groundhog day :)

I wish I could wish for something that wouldn't be corrupted by the evil Djiin ;)

LMC
31st-July-2006, 09:51 AM
Granted. All your future wishes will be completely masochistic (even though you are more hedonistic in nature) which means that Evil amendments will be redundant because granting them will make you even more miserable.

I wish I could find somewhere local that cooks a decent bacon butty :drool:

pmjd
31st-July-2006, 01:56 PM
I wish I could find somewhere local that cooks a decent bacon butty :drool:

Granted but they've run out of bacon, so it's a tofu butty for you!

I wish I could climb like spiderman

Piglet
31st-July-2006, 04:12 PM
it is.. but three hours from now you'll wish it was 3 hours ago and so now you're stuck repeating the same 3 hours over and over and over .. ala groundhog day :)
Evil Genie I love you!
That would mean I'm forever with my boyfriend - can't think of anything better - have a hug :hug:

Piglet
31st-July-2006, 04:13 PM
I wish I could wish for something that wouldn't be corrupted by the evil Djiin ;)
Try my wish :rofl: :wink:

Piglet
31st-July-2006, 04:15 PM
I wish I could climb like spiderman

You are now a real spider and spend your time roaming the walls of Edinburgh. Unfortunately Aleks isn't around to protect you when a little boy spots you, picks your legs off and chucks you in his mother's currant jar. (or is is little girl? Can't tell - the hair's short!)

I wish the evil Genie a world of love

LMC
31st-July-2006, 04:17 PM
Beo, you're fired... honestly, you just can't get the staff these days


I wish I could climb like spiderman
You're now a spider. Obvious innit?

EDIT due to cross-post with Piglet: You've met me haven't you? 'Nuff said.

I hate open plan offices and I wish that some of my work colleagues wouldn't stomp around so much - it's like a flippin earthquake every time they walk behind my chair.

Piglet
31st-July-2006, 04:21 PM
Granted - your colleagues now have the ability to walk around silently, however they now scare the living daylights out of you every time they walk up behind you and start talking to you and this weakens your heart to such an extent you have to give up the job anyway.

I wish that my friend gets her pipe fixed so that she can keep her cinema date with me tonight.

pmjd
31st-July-2006, 04:23 PM
[SIZE="1"]You're now a spider. Obvious innit?

I wish that some of my work colleagues wouldn't stomp around so much - it's like a flippin earthquake every time they walk behind my chair.

Who said I wanted to be a spider:sick:

Granted - all your work colleagues now no longer make a sound, including your boss who walks up behind you and fires you for spending too much time on the forum.

I wish to find the one (how's that for an open ended question:wink:)

Piglet
31st-July-2006, 04:26 PM
No problem - you now enjoy playing with telephone keypads pressing 1, 1, 1 and computer keyboards also have you attracted to their number 1s and if anyone talks in toilet humour about number 1s you climax on the spot! (Also the only channel you watch now is either BBC1 or Sky1)

I wish that my cuddly toys could come to life

pmjd
31st-July-2006, 04:34 PM
I wish that my cuddly toys could come to life

Granted - including a couple of rabbits who begin breeding at an exponential rate until cute fluffy bunnies over run the house and force you out of it

I wish all my DIY work on the house was done when I get home tonight

ShinyWeeStar
31st-July-2006, 08:04 PM
I wish all my DIY work on the house was done when I get home tonight
It's all done - but so badly that it costs you a fortune in time and money to put it right again!

I wish I was working tomorrow morning instead of in the afternoon.

Dazzler
31st-July-2006, 08:39 PM
I wish I was working tomorrow morning instead of in the afternoon.

You are but you start at 4:30am and your wages are gettin halved for being so fussy with your hours!

I wish i could get to dundee on saturday night

ducasi
31st-July-2006, 08:53 PM
I wish i could get to dundee on saturday night
Me too! Oops – hang on, that's not how it works!

No problem – Ciderella's coach is waiting for you, to get you there just in time for midnight. :)

I wish I had a maintenance-free life.

Dazzler
31st-July-2006, 09:01 PM
Me too! Oops – hang on, that's not how it works!

No problem – Ciderella's coach is waiting for you, to get you there just in time for midnight. :)

:rofl:


I wish I had a maintenance-free life.

You have problem is the hire car guy got confused and gave you a rusty bucket that had been free of maintenance for several decades

I wish You could all come to inverness on friday

Dazzler
31st-July-2006, 09:04 PM
DUH!!!!! i cant even read...thought it said LIFT not LIFE!!! sorry folks had a long day!

Now i feel so dumb i cant think of a quirky response! :blush: :tears:

ducasi
31st-July-2006, 09:09 PM
I wish You could all come to inverness on friday
All of the members of the forum magically turn up to the dance on Friday – unfortunately there's no room to dance. :tears:

I wish I was always understood.

Dazzler
31st-July-2006, 09:11 PM
I wish I was always understood.

You are but that just makes you boring and people just stop listening to you!

I wish i had a pint of Stella just now!

ducasi
31st-July-2006, 09:24 PM
I wish i had a pint of Stella just now!
Shazam!!! You now are a pint of Stella!

I wish for something which would improve the entire world.

Dazzler
31st-July-2006, 09:29 PM
I wish for something which would improve the entire world.

Your wish is my command Although 2 years down the line humanity finds a way to reverse the improvement which in turn leads to a worse reality than ever before!

I wish i could stop posting on this thread!

ducasi
31st-July-2006, 10:39 PM
I wish i could stop posting on this thread!
Done! (for at least an hour – how long did you want?!?)

I wish the 23 year old who's been flirting with me was actually single. :(

LMC
31st-July-2006, 10:47 PM
Done, but she stops flirting with you and cruises lesbian bars.

I wish I didn't have a blister on my heel

WittyBird
1st-August-2006, 08:19 AM
I wish I didn't have a blister on my heel

You don't it's in the middle of your forehead.

I wish the window next to my desk would open

LMC
1st-August-2006, 09:20 AM
It's permanently stuck open and a monsoon accompanied by a hurricane blows away all your work, and soaks you and your computer.

I wish my new cat wouldn't bite me

pmjd
1st-August-2006, 09:36 AM
I wish my new cat wouldn't bite me

Granted - It now just uses you as a scratching post instead

I wish for it to be a great day

Piglet
1st-August-2006, 12:01 PM
I wish for it to be a great day
No problemo - Today is now officially National Grate Day and everyone has to grate something to eat (or else they have to pay an ex-grate-ionally huge tax of £200). You're up sh*t creek cos your grater has broken and you can't find any shops open to buy a new one. Bye bye £200

I wish that tonight's venue was full of all my favourite dancers

pmjd
1st-August-2006, 12:06 PM
I wish that tonight's venue was full of all my favourite dancers

Granted, thought it so full that you can't get in to the venue

I wish for it to be a fantastic day:wink:

Cruella
1st-August-2006, 12:22 PM
I wish for it to be a fantastic day:wink:
It is, for everyone except you.

I wish i had finished all my housework.

pmjd
1st-August-2006, 01:04 PM
I wish i had finished all my housework.

Granted - now you have time to everyone elses for them

I wish to hear from someone special today

WittyBird
1st-August-2006, 01:05 PM
I wish i had finished all my housework.

You did, but when you went to sit down your computer blew up and made a right mess

I wish I wasn't hungry

WittyBird
1st-August-2006, 01:08 PM
I wish to hear from someone special today

You did they dumped you
I wish I could find a toshiba laptop

pmjd
1st-August-2006, 01:17 PM
You did they dumped you
Can't dump me, as I'm not seeing them


I wish I could find a toshiba laptop

Granted - you found their very first one, a T1100 from 1985
Enjoy that raw processing power:wink:

I wish someone else would do the mind-numbingly repetitive task I've got to do today (it involves using a 1000 toothpicks)

LMC
1st-August-2006, 01:41 PM
I wish I wasn't hungry
Hmm, this one got missed. You're not hungry, 'cos you just ate a McDonalds Xtra Supersize Big Mac meal with double fries and a free Big Mac on the side. From now on, only these meals will satisfy your appetite (for food anyway)


I wish someone else would do the mind-numbingly repetitive task I've got to do today (it involves using a 1000 toothpicks)
Granted. But you have to do their job, which involves watching the wall they just painted dry. In a locked room with no furniture, power points or mobile signal.

pmjd
1st-August-2006, 01:44 PM
What's your wish LMC? or are you the evil genie incarnate?

LMC
1st-August-2006, 02:35 PM
I'm the Evil Genie incarnate of course. But I wish I wasn't.

Actually I don't, but I can't think of anything else I want right now.

straycat
1st-August-2006, 03:19 PM
I'm the Evil Genie incarnate of course. But I wish I wasn't.

Actually I don't, but I can't think of anything else I want right now.
And now you're not. You're his P.A.

I wish I was still in Herrang.

LMC
1st-August-2006, 03:24 PM
Cool. I'm a PA IRL and I have way more power than my boss in many ways :devil:

Granted. But no-one else is there and it's now mid-December (yes, I've been to Sweden...)

I wish my colleagues would remember to put their phones on divert when they leave their desks :rolleyes:

pmjd
1st-August-2006, 03:25 PM
I wish my colleagues would remember to put their phones on divert when they leave their desks :rolleyes:

Granted - they all set the divert to your desk

I wish to get a nice email today

WittyBird
1st-August-2006, 10:53 PM
I wish to get a nice email today

You did telling you that you've inherited £100,000,00 but you've lost all ability to read/write/speak/communicate so can't respond

I wish I hadn't got on the wrong train home from work tonite :innocent:

Little Monkey
2nd-August-2006, 07:24 AM
Alakazaam! Your wish is granted - you got the right train home, and it crashed. You're now in hospital in an all-body cast.

I wish I'd slept last night.

WittyBird
2nd-August-2006, 08:25 AM
I wish I'd slept last night.

You did but you woke up Grumpy and now the other 6 are extremely p1ssed with you.

I wish I hadn't spilled coffee in my bag running up the escalators

Beowulf
2nd-August-2006, 08:38 AM
Granted.. you instead spilt the coffee down your front, giving yourself severe scalds.. should look nice with the full body cast you got from your previous wish.

I wish I could meet the people above..

Piglet
2nd-August-2006, 08:45 AM
* crash! *

You are now in heaven.

I wish I could get motivated and attack all the work I want to get done!

LMC
2nd-August-2006, 09:15 AM
You have literally attacked all the work you need to get done and are now in serious trouble for destroying everything within a 20 mile radius.

I wish that people would take 20 <expletive deleted> seconds to check our charity's website where it clearly says what we will and won't fund before phoning up and whining that I haven't answered them. If they don't spend any time or effort then why the hell should I :mad: (Into Room 101 with the lot of 'em, grrrrr)

pmjd
3rd-August-2006, 12:53 PM
I wish that people would take 20 <expletive deleted> seconds to check our charity's website where it clearly says what we will and won't fund before phoning up and whining that I haven't answered them. If they don't spend any time or effort then why the hell should I :mad: (Into Room 101 with the lot of 'em, grrrrr)

Granted - now they read all the terms and conditions so much that it crashes the website. So now you have to spend more money maintaining the website and less on the good causes you fund.

I wish to learn to play the violin like a maestro

Piglet
3rd-August-2006, 02:47 PM
Easy peasy. Enjoy being an Austin Maestro - mind you the only way you can play the violin is by reversing over it, then moving forward, then reversing over it, then moving forward... why you'd want to do something so monotonous is beyond me, but I hope you have fun.

I wish the sun would come back to Aberdeen

pmjd
3rd-August-2006, 02:52 PM
I wish the sun would come back to Aberdeen

Granted the sun comes to Aberdeen but the sun reporters find out about all the skeletons in your closet so you have to move, change your name, join the witness protection service and wear an unconvincing wig!

I wish to get a decent pay rise

Piglet
3rd-August-2006, 02:56 PM
Granted - you are now paid by productive minute and get a decent pay rise for those few moments that you're not attending to the Scottish Ceroc Forum, beware your bosses are thinking of cutting your pay for every time they catch you on the forum and they have someone employed especially to watch your internet behaviour.

I wish that I could be whisked away to somewhere exotic

pmjd
3rd-August-2006, 03:08 PM
I wish that I could be whisked away to somewhere exotic

Granted - you've been added to the mixing vats at Walls Solero Ice Cream factory, but hey what a way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish to win a competition

Beowulf
3rd-August-2006, 11:24 PM
Abacadiodularservosystems !

You win a competition.. Free Breast enlargement at a local cosmetic surgery clinic.

I wish I was 10 years Younger !

WittyBird
3rd-August-2006, 11:43 PM
I wish I was 10 years Younger !

You are, well done 10 years younger than Bruce Forsythe you now live in a residential home and are waiting for a hip replacement :eek:

I wish I could stop crying

Piglet
6th-August-2006, 05:22 PM
Kazaaam! You're dead !

I wish that I could be like Billy Whizz around the house doing housework.

pmjd
6th-August-2006, 06:07 PM
I wish that I could be like Billy Whizz around the house doing housework.

Granted but the speed with which you whizz round creates a cyclone that destroys your house

I wish my knee was better

Piglet
6th-August-2006, 07:09 PM
Your knee is in perfect health - unfortunately you need new hips.

I wish that my computer would blow up so that I'd get on with things.

Beowulf
6th-August-2006, 08:00 PM
Your PC explodes.. with the force of a supernova.. the entire planet and the rest of the solar system are ripped assunder.

All the things you get on with now is drifting around on the solar winds trying to gather the rest of your atoms back together again !!

I wish I wasn't single..

Tessalicious
6th-August-2006, 09:00 PM
Abracadabra! You're now married, to an ugly, unintelligent, gold-digging bitch with the personality of a kitchen drain and the laugh to boot - in fact the only thing she's good at it is plotting your 'accidental' death, having already set up a tidy life insurance. Oh, and the pre-nup says no divorce or separation for 20 years.

I wish I could remember all the things I need to write down on my to-do-list...

Twirly
6th-August-2006, 10:27 PM
You can, but your hands are tied behind your back so you can't write anything and still have to remember it all... which is giving you a headache.

I wish I would sleep well tonight...

Beowulf
6th-August-2006, 10:46 PM
Your wish is my command.

You prick your finger on a needle and fall into a sleep for ever. during which time a forest of thorns springs up around your house. All you need is a charming prince to kiss you to wake you up but unfortunately in the next 100 years we do away with the monarchy and you're left snoozing until the sun goes supernova.

(what is it with me and supernova's today!)

Wish I was on Sky at night ;)

LMC
6th-August-2006, 10:47 PM
Congratulations, you're now Patrick Moore.

I wish I had got more done this weekend

Piglet
7th-August-2006, 04:09 PM
Congratulations, you're now Patrick Moore.

I wish I had got more done this weekend
Wow great ! I get to mix the 2 previous wishes cos LMC you DID Patrick More [oops shame this Genie is rubbish at spelling] this weekend! Go girl! Maybe try someone younger next time? :rofl:

I wish that I had another book by Sharon Sala to read

Beowulf
7th-August-2006, 06:29 PM
haha that means she had to do me? hmm.. you're a nice genie aren't you?

You see Sharon Sala standing by a large pile of old telephone directories.. and you feel compelled to read all the books by her (as in next to)

Adams, Ambrose,Anderson...

I wish this wish couldn't be corrupted in anyway!

pmjd
8th-August-2006, 12:11 AM
I wish this wish couldn't be corrupted in anyway!

Granted this wish has not been corrupted in anyway, it was evil to start off with:devil:

I wish to meet and romance an attractive, intelligent, warm, loving, kind, single, straight, not in anyway about to die or be whisked off somewhere, attracted to me Miss right, who's first name isn't always:rolleyes:

Right lets see who can mess up this one:whistle:

Piglet
8th-August-2006, 12:42 AM
Granted:
attractive: very - flies follow her everywhere
intelligent: she was accepted by Oxford when she was 10
warm: she's feverish cos she's developed rabies
loving: she's loving chocolate and cakes and candies - she might have a slim figure, but have you seen her teeth?
kind: humankind unless the aliens have really landed?
single: she has one of everything: eye, ear, arm, leg, finger, toe, breast, tooth
straight: yep, no curves on this little lady - she is still only 11 though
not in anyway about to die or be whisked off somewhere: nope she's got a Uni course to finish so she'll be around for 3 years at least
attracted to me: it's all those metal fillings you've got I'm afraid
Miss right, who's first name isn't always: she's an ace at darts but only at the numbers on the left hand side - she always misses the right hand side. It must be down to her eye being on the left.

She's not perfect but she loves you :love:
By the way her name is Eileen :rofl:

I wish that I was nicer to PMJD :flower:

pmjd
8th-August-2006, 12:50 AM
Ah well, I did ask for it:na: I'll come up with an uncorruptable wish yet:waycool: thought it could take a whole page and a session with a lawyer to write all the get out clauses:rofl:


I wish that I was nicer to PMJD :flower:

Granted - you are nicer to pmjd but he dies of shock:wink:

I wish to get a dance with Piglet

Cruella
8th-August-2006, 09:31 AM
Granted - you are nicer to pmjd but he dies of shock:wink:

I wish to get a dance with Piglet
Granted, but as you have died of shock you don't know an awful lot about it!

I wish this thread would end now.

Piglet
8th-August-2006, 03:46 PM
All threads end eventually so that was a bit of a boring wish. However, to spice it up - every time you go to the sewing box to get some thread you will find it has finished and you will have to get yourself along to a shop to buy more.

I wish that we had a Disney park just outside Aberdeen

pmjd
8th-August-2006, 03:52 PM
I wish that we had a Disney park just outside Aberdeen

What's wrong with codona's:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Granted - It opens and Aberdeen is consummed by it's rapid expansion and turns into Scotchland Disney World, a land of Disney, tartan, haggis burgers & even dodgier accents than Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins - otherwise known as hell on earth.

I wish to get a nice surprise in my wage packet this month

Twirly
8th-August-2006, 03:58 PM
You do - a leprechaun jumps out, but he's already spent all your ages

I wish that the cramp in my leg would clear up so I could go dancing tonight

pmjd
8th-August-2006, 04:02 PM
You do - a leprechaun jumps out, but he's already spent all your ages
So I age to death then:rofl:


I wish that the cramp in my leg would clear up so I could go dancing tonight

Granted - shame everyone else can't go because they've got cramp in their legs

I wish to be inspired today

Piglet
8th-August-2006, 04:10 PM
You are now working inside the top of a church spire. Think you might need to invest in a thermal vest and long johns now though.

I wish that my car would be ready from its MOT tonight

WittyBird
9th-August-2006, 08:33 AM
I wish that my car would be ready from its MOT tonight

It is unfortunately you miss your bus and arrive 5 mins after the garage is shut.

I wish I could go back to bed

Beowulf
9th-August-2006, 08:48 PM
Granted it's now 5 past 5 in the morning.. you go back to bed after a long hard day.. but your alarm is set for 05:10am .. enjoy your 5mins sleep

I wish the person above me was happy.

Gadget
10th-August-2006, 12:41 AM
Granted: you live on the top floor - everyone above you is in heven and blissfully happy.

I wish I hadn't kicked Freya this evening :blush::tears::flower:

Piglet
10th-August-2006, 10:18 AM
Wish granted but only because you couldn't get near her all evening in any way and you both went home feeling dejected because you couldn't enjoy a dance with each other. Plus to make matters worse, you couldn't control your feet and you kicked every woman you danced with last night. Freya should feel lucky, but she doesn't!

I wish that ceroc was so cool that we were all in a TV programme about it - a bit like the Monkees or Spice Girls movie.

LMC
10th-August-2006, 10:30 AM
Granted, without amendments, for everyone except me. (I'm the genie here and would rather be poor than splattered all over the tabloid press looking like a tw*t)

I wish my clothes size was a UK size 12 (it is already US size 12 :rolleyes: )

Beowulf
10th-August-2006, 12:43 PM
kapow..

all your clothes are now all size 12.. you are now unfortunately size 42 and nothing fits.. all you have to wear is an old cloth sack.

I wish I was not a computer programmer but a professional photographer instead.

Gadget
10th-August-2006, 02:06 PM
Zap - you now are a professional photographer... but the wage packet is so intermitent, infrequent and inadequate that you have to sell your flat, computer, TV and all your DVDs just to eat.

I wish someone would invent a matter transporter like in star-trek that really worked.

Piglet
10th-August-2006, 02:08 PM
I wish someone would invent a matter transporter like in star-trek that really worked.
Me too! If either of this ever gets this wish - you wanna share?

Beowulf
10th-August-2006, 03:21 PM
Zap - you now are a professional photographer... but the wage packet is so intermitent, infrequent and inadequate that you have to sell your flat, computer, TV and all your DVDs just to eat.

I wish someone would invent a matter transporter like in star-trek that really worked.


Granted.. the wish gives you a matter transporter from star trek unfortunately you have not been correctly encoded into the pattern buffer and when you first use it you come out as ..erm..oh.. off the top of my head.. erm.. Paul Daniels :)

I wish 1+1 = 3

Gadget
10th-August-2006, 09:17 PM
Granted: you're using Excel with the cells showing no decimal places: the rounding functions make it look like 1+1=3 but the sum is actually 1.4 + 1.4 = 2.8 which rounds to 3

I wish I was dexterous enough to perform really good slight of hand.

Dynamo
16th-August-2006, 11:00 PM
Granted: you are Oliver, but you become broke and are spotted by a modern day Fagin

I wish for better weather in WSM this weekend

WittyBird
16th-August-2006, 11:45 PM
I wish for better weather in WSM this weekend

The weather is amazing in WSM at the weekend unfortunately on the way home from work on Thursday you broke your leg and have to stay in hospital for 5 days

I wish I could decide what to wear this weekend

Dynamo
16th-August-2006, 11:49 PM
I wish I could decide what to wear this weekend

No problem the latest fashion is before you, it suits you perfectly
and first stocks are available from Monday
You will look devine for Southport :wink:

I wish it was midday so i could keep working on the bathroom

WittyBird
16th-August-2006, 11:51 PM
I wish it was midday so i could keep working on the bathroom

It is, Midday on Friday work away :rofl:

I wish I could have a bath or shower

Dynamo
16th-August-2006, 11:59 PM
It is, Midday on Friday work away :rofl:

I wish I could have a bath or shower

Granted you are welcome anytime :nice: , I just have no hot water, cold water or cistern yet :devil:

I wish the neighbours cats would stop climbing through my office wall wall

WittyBird
17th-August-2006, 12:03 AM
I wish the neighbours cats would stop climbing through my office wall wall

It has, it just won't leave and is making your office stink. :eek:

I wish I could find the energy to eat something

Dynamo
17th-August-2006, 01:14 AM
..

I wish I could find the energy to eat something

Granted, but it is the first thing you see in the morning and turns out to be your cat :eek: ( if you had 1 :devil: )

I wish I could type faster

pmjd
17th-August-2006, 11:28 AM
I wish I could type faster

Granted but the speed at which you can now type causes you keyboard to melt and the sound of the constant key presses gives you tinitis

I wish the party I'm going to tonight will be better than expected

Dynamo
17th-August-2006, 09:16 PM
...
I wish the party I'm going to tonight will be better than expected

Granted, the party is the biggest and will be the best ever, but it is the end of the world party since Nuclear war has been declared.

I wish I had water :tears:

Gadget
17th-August-2006, 09:22 PM
Granted: you're flooded.

I wish I could 'brain dump' instead of typing :D

Dynamo
17th-August-2006, 09:37 PM
..
I wish I could 'brain dump' instead of typing :D

Granted, but all those private thoughts that never should get out are dumped too OOOPS! :devil:

I wish I knew then what I know now

Beowulf
12th-January-2007, 12:04 PM
Granted, but all those private thoughts that never should get out are dumped too OOOPS! :devil:

I wish I knew then what I know now

Granted. Unfortunately you never take the chances that didn't work out, thereby never learning from your mistakes and becoming a better person. By the time you've caught up with yourself by knowing now what you now know you know now (:confused: :rolleyes: :confused: ) you get floored by the first problem that comes your way and you're afraid to leave your house again.. you end up old , lonely and a nervous gibbering wreck.

I wish people would vote for someone else for the geekiest geek instead of me.

TheTramp
12th-January-2007, 12:11 PM
I wish people would vote for someone else for the geekiest geek instead of me.

They did. But only because you were fired after calculating the 23756235th digit of pi incorrectly, now work on the tills at Tesco, and aren't considered to be a geek anymore.

I wish that Cameron Diaz would turn up at the Invercarse for dancing on Monday night

ducasi
12th-January-2007, 02:41 PM
I wish that Cameron Diaz would turn up at the Invercarse for dancing on Monday night
She will! With me! :na:

I wish that Freudian Hips doesn't get to know about my "thing" with Ms Diaz. ;)

Freudian Hips
12th-January-2007, 04:35 PM
She will! With me! :na:

I wish that Freudian Hips doesn't get to know about my "thing" with Ms Diaz. ;)

Too late :cool:

I wish I understood the Cameron Diaz "thing" (see I could get a Penelope Cruz, Lucy Liu, Carol Smillie "thing")

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

LMC
19th-January-2007, 06:19 PM
Granted. You are now a perfect clone of ducasi.

(I love this thread... v. v. immodest of me, but thanks for bumping Beo :D)

I wish the tree in the school grounds that is too close to my house HAD actually blown over and destroyed my house while I was out at work yesterday, because the insurance claim would have paid for new roof, central heating and bathroom (:sick:)that all need doing

purplehyacinth
19th-January-2007, 09:32 PM
I wish the tree in the school grounds that is too close to my house HAD actually blown over and destroyed my house while I was out at work yesterday, because the insurance claim would have paid for new roof, central heating and bathroom (:sick:)that all need doing


Granted. House duly destroyed by tree.

Unfortunately, due to certain exclusion clauses in the policy, the insurance company is able to avoid paying you anything for said destruction of your house, and don't pay you a bean!

I wish there was somewhere I could go dancing this weekend within a convenient distance.

ShinyWeeStar
19th-January-2007, 10:08 PM
I wish there was somewhere I could go dancing this weekend within a convenient distance.
Granted - there's now a big freestyle on within spitting distance where everyone (including all your most favourite dancers in the whole wide world) will be dancing till the wee small hours (at least).:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap: Unfortunately, in all the excitement you don't look before you cross the road on your way to the venue and you get run over by a double decker bus - bummer.


I wish I could lose weight without having to watch what I eat.

Tessalicious
20th-January-2007, 03:39 PM
Granted - here's some lettuce, and a blindfold.

I wish I had more days holiday from work so I didn't have to save them all for all the weekenders.

Achaeco
20th-January-2007, 04:02 PM
Granted - here's some lettuce, and a blindfold.

I wish I had more days holiday from work so I didn't have to save them all for all the weekenders.

Hey your new job is signing on once a fortnight.

I wish i didnt have to wait 3 weeks to start my new job

Blueshoes
20th-January-2007, 04:05 PM
I wish i didnt have to wait 3 weeks to start my new job

You don't, they've just retracted the offer.

I wish life wasn't so complicated.

Achaeco
20th-January-2007, 04:08 PM
You don't, they've just retracted the offer.

I wish life wasn't so complicated.

Its a shame but you have just been ran over by a huge truck - its no longer complicated.:wink:

I wish my job had not been retracted

LMC
20th-January-2007, 06:57 PM
Granted, but your working hours have been changed - 7 pm to 4 am Thursday to Monday (Tues and Weds off).

I wish I hadn't eaten all that chocolate earlier.

Blueshoes
21st-January-2007, 12:11 PM
I wish I hadn't eaten all that chocolate earlier.

You didn't, it wasn't actually chocolate, it was artificially made from dung beetle droppings.

I wish I had superpowers!

Isis
22nd-January-2007, 12:03 AM
I wish I had superpowers!

You do, but so does everyone else so you're still ordinary!

I wish I was going out with Chad Michael Murray:love:

purplehyacinth
22nd-January-2007, 12:17 AM
I wish I was going out with Chad Michael Murray:love:

You are. Unfortunately, on your date with him, he arrives late, behaves abominably, flirts with other women in front of you and generally turns out to be the worst date of your life.

I wish that someone would tell me what's happening next Saturday.

drathzel
22nd-January-2007, 01:44 AM
You are. Unfortunately, on your date with him, he arrives late, behaves abominably, flirts with other women in front of you and generally turns out to be the worst date of your life.

I wish that someone would tell me what's happening next Saturday.

Wish granted, they do but you cant go cuz you locked yourself in your car, arrive at the venue but cant get out so you get to see everyone having fun but you cant join in

i wish i could sleep

Blueshoes
22nd-January-2007, 02:00 AM
i wish i could sleep

You can now, right through the alarm clock so you failed to get up and missed the flight for that holiday you've been looking forward to for so long.....

I wish I could remember more dance steps.

drathzel
22nd-January-2007, 02:12 AM
You can now, right through the alarm clock so you failed to get up and missed the flight for that holiday you've been looking forward to for so long.....

I wish I could remember more dance steps.

you can but you've lost the cognitive ability to use your legs

i wish there was more interesting tv on after midnight

Blueshoes
22nd-January-2007, 02:15 AM
i wish there was more interesting tv on after midnight

There is, but a large eagle is nesting in your satellitle dish so you've lost all reception.

I wish I looked more like Tom Cruise!

drathzel
22nd-January-2007, 02:21 AM
There is, but a large eagle is nesting in your satellitle dish so you've lost all reception.

I wish I looked more like Tom Cruise!

i dont have satalite so tis ok!

You do but your short!!!

Achaeco
22nd-January-2007, 11:26 AM
There is, but a large eagle is nesting in your satellitle dish so you've lost all reception.

I wish I looked more like Tom Cruise!

Done. Oops i was looking at his face shortly after his crash in Days Of Thunder.
To late to retract that wish now

I wish i wasnt so busy at work, i hate it here

Blueshoes
22nd-January-2007, 07:29 PM
I wish i wasnt so busy at work, i hate it here

OK, there's not so much to do in jail after being falsely convicted of embezzlement.

I wish there were no such thing as computer viruses.

drathzel
23rd-January-2007, 12:42 PM
OK, there's not so much to do in jail after being falsely convicted of embezzlement.

I wish there were no such thing as computer viruses.

thats ok we'll take away your computer and there is no need to worry

i wish there was a few extra hours in the day (and i am veto-ing the answer 'you have to work in them' cuz thats what i would do!

Dreadful Scathe
23rd-January-2007, 01:07 PM
thats ok time goes faster for you to give you the extra hours - everyone else goes at the normal speed - you age the same - you'll be 40 when you're 30 :)


i wish i had a ferrari

Beowulf
23rd-January-2007, 01:51 PM
I wish I had a Ferrari

SHAZAAAM !!!

You have a lovely Ferrari.. a 1:32 Diecast Scale model car .. and the Genie is trying his best to squeeze you into it ;)

I wish I knew everything and could do everything without ever having to learn it.

Isis
23rd-January-2007, 03:27 PM
I wish I knew everything and could do everything without ever having to learn it.

You do know everything and can do everything. You're now so bored with nothing to work for, you want to kill yourself.

I wish I had a brilliantly stimulating and worthwhile job, which paid me bucketloads of money for working during school hours and term time only.

Blueshoes
23rd-January-2007, 06:08 PM
I wish I had a brilliantly stimulating and worthwhile job, which paid me bucketloads of money for working during school hours and term time only.

Wish granted, job description exactly as the government has put out. You're a teacher.

I wish my daughter wore more clothes when she goes out!

Jhutch
23rd-January-2007, 06:58 PM
Wish granted, job description exactly as the government has put out. You're a teacher.

I wish my daughter wore more clothes when she goes out!

Can only grant that one if you provide photographic evidence i am afraid:innocent: :blush:

I wish i could go home now:sad:

ShinyWeeStar
23rd-January-2007, 08:28 PM
Granted. You could go home now... trouble is, you don't have a home to go to anymore. Those careless builders next door have bulldozed it!

I wish my college assignments were all done and passed.

Cruella
23rd-January-2007, 09:05 PM
I wish my college assignments were all done and passed.

Granted. You've spent days typing them up and they've been passed ........through the shredder!


I wish I and everything in my life was perfect.

Isis
24th-January-2007, 12:07 AM
I wish I and everything in my life was perfect.

You are and it is - you make everyone else sick with jealousy and they hate your guts!

I wish I was a Teacher

rubyred
24th-January-2007, 01:01 AM
I wish I was a Teacher[/quote]

wish granted - you now need those long holidays and bucket load of money to compensate for the stress of the job

I wish I was could sew and make loads of nice clothes and curtains and things

Icey
24th-January-2007, 01:13 AM
I wish I was could sew and make loads of nice clothes and curtains and things

Granted, you can but you only have one lot of material that is sixties flower power and all your clothes, curtains and things look the same. In fact you can hide by standing in front of your curtains :rofl:

I wish I had done all my reading

drathzel
24th-January-2007, 01:20 AM
I wish I had done all my reading

you have but you read it so quickly you have forgotten it all and how to tie your shoe laces.

i wish the job i have the interview for tomorrow could guarentee me more hours all year round

purplehyacinth
24th-January-2007, 01:39 AM
i wish the job i have the interview for tomorrow could guarentee me more hours all year round

It does. Unfortunately, you have to work so many hours that you no longer have time to go dancing.:tears:


I wish that I didn't have a cold.

Green-eyed Monsta
24th-January-2007, 01:44 AM
I wish that I didn't have a cold.

Wish granted....what you thought was just a cold is actually ebola! Bad luck....

I wish the cat wouldn't throw up in my bed anymore...:sick:

Blueshoes
24th-January-2007, 11:23 AM
I wish the cat wouldn't throw up in my bed anymore...:sick:

Wish granted. It now follows you round everywhere and throws up over you at every opportunity.

I wish someone would come round and tidy my garden for me.

Jhutch
24th-January-2007, 11:53 AM
Wish granted - you now have an immaculate garden but unfortunately the gardener has tramped mud all through your house and used up all your tea bags

I wish that someone would do all my shopping for me

Blueshoes
26th-January-2007, 02:39 AM
Wish granted - they've just bought you (amongst other things) two new matching ferraris and a pink solarium for your garden and you're now officially bankrupt.

I wish my kids pet gerbil hadn't died

Green-eyed Monsta
26th-January-2007, 04:31 AM
I wish my kids pet gerbil hadn't died

Wish granted....it wasn't dead and was just having a very sound slumber....bet you wish now that you hadn't buried it alive/flushed it/put it into the garbage disposal machine...

I wish I had a lemon tree

Jhutch
26th-January-2007, 11:08 AM
I wish I had a lemon tree

Wish granted - unfortunately it wont grow in your garden and is proving an unsightly mess

I wish i was a better dancer

Isis
26th-January-2007, 09:09 PM
I wish i was a better dancer

You are a brilliant dancer. You're now constantly accused of being an elitist, snobby, cliquey hotshot etc.

I wish it was Summer.

Wouldbe
26th-January-2007, 09:31 PM
I wish it was Summer.

It is... in Australia!:waycool: Dude.

I wish I wasn't a teacher.

Icey
26th-January-2007, 10:00 PM
I wish I wasn't a teacher.

Granted, you are now an elephant poo collector.

I wish I didn't have a very strict budget to decorate my flat

Wouldbe
26th-January-2007, 10:38 PM
Granted, you are now an elephant poo collector.


Thanks. A promotion! I thought the genie was supposed to spoil wishes!

LMC
26th-January-2007, 10:39 PM
Granted. You now have zero budget and will have to live with brown flock wallpaper and purple flower carpets forever.

I wish my central heating wasn't broken

Beowulf
26th-January-2007, 11:09 PM
Granted..

It now works very well.. very very well indeed. So well infact that every time it comes on you practically cook and every piece of furniture and decoration is scorched.. and every night you end up with heat stroke.

I wish I could have a nice quiet weekend.

FirstMove
27th-January-2007, 01:58 AM
Granted.

The inside of your house is turned into an anechoic chamber. Unfortunately, there are no doors or windows. No-one can hear your blood curdling howls of distress as you suffer a slow death by asphyxiation.

I wish for every dance at Southport to be wonderful.

Jhutch
27th-January-2007, 02:13 AM
Granted.


I wish for every dance at Southport to be wonderful.

Wish granted - unfortunately you are unable to take part when you twist your ankle when you first walk onto the floor. You then spend the whole weekend watching everyone else have the time of their lives

I wish that it could be christmas every day:clap:

Gav
27th-January-2007, 10:10 AM
Wish granted - unfortunately you are unable to take part when you twist your ankle when you first walk onto the floor. You then spend the whole weekend watching everyone else have the time of their lives

I wish that it could be christmas every day:clap:

Granted - Within a week Santa has a heart failure and dies. All of the children and parents in the world now hate you. That strange noise is a lynch mob at your door. :D

I wish I could live closer to all of my favourite followers to make sure I get to dance with them lots.

Cruella
27th-January-2007, 10:25 AM
I wish I could live closer to all of my favourite followers to make sure I get to dance with them lots.

Granted. You now live next door to them all. Which means they can all see which venue you are going to each night and avoid you by going to an alternative one.
I wish my foot would get better quickly.:sad:

Wouldbe
27th-January-2007, 04:30 PM
Granted. You now live next door to them all. Which means they can all see which venue you are going to each night and avoid you by going to an alternative one.
I wish my foot would get better quickly.:sad:

Right as rain now, but while you were resting it up, you've put on 1 and a half stone!

I wish I could be in two places at once and therefore go to a freestyle and a party tonight.

purplehyacinth
27th-January-2007, 06:28 PM
I wish I could be in two places at once and therefore go to a freestyle and a party tonight.

So do I, so I could go to a freestyle and a dance, but I've already said I'd go to the dance.

Anyway.... Granted, but your doppelganger who attends the freestyle in your place turns out to be a truly nasty dancer..... a smelly, bad dancer, who treads on everybody's feet, so when you next go to ceroc, everyone who has suffered by dancing with your doppelganger refuses to dance with you.

I wish I could decide which dress to wear tonight.

fletch
27th-January-2007, 06:41 PM
.

I wish I could decide which dress to wear tonight.


Granted, but when you turn up to the venue there is already someone there with the same dress on, and you havent got a change of clothers :sick:


I hope I feel 100% for Southport

Jhutch
27th-January-2007, 07:00 PM
I hope I feel 100% for Southport

Granted - unfortunately there are huge travel delays and you only make it for a few dances - you then have to endure days of people crowing about how great the weekend was.

I wish England could win the Cricket World Cup (do the genie's powers extend this far?:confused: :grin: )

fletch
27th-January-2007, 07:10 PM
I wish England could win the Cricket World Cup (do the genie's powers extend this far?:confused: :grin: )

I'm not sure about the Genie, but I can grant wishes, and its granted. :D

but the drugs test came back positive and loose the cup :sick:


I wish I get some male action at southport :whistle:

drathzel
27th-January-2007, 08:01 PM
I'm not sure about the Genie, but I can grant wishes, and its granted. :D

but the drugs test came back positive and loose the cup :sick:


I wish I get some male action at southport :whistle:

congrats you do but you get so much there is no time for dancing or catching up on gossip. and you catch something very nasty

i wish i could have a bar of chocolate or a piece of bread

purplehyacinth
28th-January-2007, 10:37 AM
i wish i could have a bar of chocolate or a piece of bread

Granted, but the chocolate has gone off and the bread is mouldy.


I wish it was nicer weather.

Mythical
28th-January-2007, 10:48 AM
Granted, he's taken you back to summer when we were all wishing it was colder!

I wish I had a motorbike

drathzel
28th-January-2007, 12:24 PM
Granted, he's taken you back to summer when we were all wishing it was colder!

I wish I had a motorbike

you do but have no where to keep it it gets attacked by salt water, seizes up and cant ride it:rofl:

i wish i could magically get my room tidy without having to lift a finger

Tessalicious
28th-January-2007, 03:28 PM
It's tidy - someone came in and stole everything you own, so now it's a completely empty room.

I wish I could stop eating sweets.

fletch
28th-January-2007, 03:33 PM
You can, but only because all your teeth have fallen out :na:

I wish I had sorted my out fit for the fancy dress at SP :(

ShinyWeeStar
28th-January-2007, 03:37 PM
You can, but only because all your teeth have fallen out :na:

I wish I had sorted my out fit for the fancy dress at SP :(
Done - only everyone forgot to mention that it's no longer fancy dress so you feel like a right pillock when you turn up in your costume. :na:

I wish there was something worth watching on the telly this afternoon.

fletch
28th-January-2007, 04:13 PM
granted, only you forgot to pay the license, and you get caught and now face a fine :sick:

I wish I was dancing on H.M.S. President this afternoon

Achaeco
28th-January-2007, 06:49 PM
granted, only you forgot to pay the license, and you get caught and now face a fine :sick:

I wish I was dancing on H.M.S. President this afternoon

You arrive and the crew make you captain - the boat sinks and you die - sorry

I wish my wife was home - with me - alive - not ill - etc

ShinyWeeStar
28th-January-2007, 07:04 PM
You arrive and the crew make you captain - the boat sinks and you die - sorry

I wish my wife was home - with me - alive - not ill - etc
Granted - she's home safe, alive and perfectly well, as are you. However, you have been locked in an isolation chamber where you must remain for at least the next 12 months; you can see her but she can't see you, and you can't talk to her, hug her, communicate with her in any way, etc. Oh, and that means there's no going out dancing either! :devil:

I wish this cough would go away. :sad:

fletch
28th-January-2007, 07:30 PM
Me to, anyway granted but before it whent you pulled a mussel and are now in pain:sick:

I wish my cold would go :sick:

WittyBird
28th-January-2007, 07:37 PM
I wish my cold would go :sick:

Granted - you now have teenage acne and no toes on your left foot


I wish my flat would clean itself :waycool:

Achaeco
28th-January-2007, 07:51 PM
Granted - she's home safe, alive and perfectly well, as are you. However, you have been locked in an isolation chamber where you must remain for at least the next 12 months; you can see her but she can't see you, and you can't talk to her, hug her, communicate with her in any way, etc. Oh, and that means there's no going out dancing either! :devil:

I wish this cough would go away. :sad:

I only want the £10 she owes me

Achaeco
28th-January-2007, 07:56 PM
Granted - you now have teenage acne and no toes on your left foot


I wish my flat would clean itself :waycool:

Deal. you get a loan for £300,000,000 and have all the latest mod cons installed in your flat including self cleaning pot, pans and carpets.
You cant pay the debt and have to leave.
You now live in the gutter

I wish my wife would give me that damb £10 she owes me

WittyBird
28th-January-2007, 08:10 PM
Granted - she does but check your bank account you have no money and the house is now in her name.

I wish someone would give me some energy im so tired

Mythical
28th-January-2007, 08:54 PM
You now Have energy, but it's 12pm, and you have to go to sleep because you have an early shift at work in the morning!

I wish it was Ceroc tonight

WittyBird
28th-January-2007, 08:57 PM
I wish it was Ceroc tonight

Granted it is on in Berkhamsted, but you can't go as you broke both your legs when you smashed your car into a tree, no dancing for you for a while

I wish I hadn't just eaten a tub of strawberry cheesecake haagen-Dazs

Green-eyed Monsta
28th-January-2007, 09:04 PM
I wish I hadn't just eaten a tub of strawberry cheesecake haagen-Dazs

Granted...it was Vanilla instead. You didn't enjoy it anywhere near as much as you would have enjoyed the Strawberry Cheescake and you still have all the calories to dance off....bad luck.

I wish for world peace....

Mythical
28th-January-2007, 10:13 PM
Granted, but now all the Soldiers, Sailors and Pilots are looking for jobs, and your boss thinks they may be a better option than you!

I wish I had nicer housemates!

LMC
28th-January-2007, 10:28 PM
Granted. They are so lovely that you appear really horrible in comparison and they evict you.

I wish it were Friday.

WittyBird
28th-January-2007, 10:40 PM
Granted it is Friday but your boss realises you aint done any work so is making you work the weekend so you miss SP.

I wish I could sleep

LMC
28th-January-2007, 10:44 PM
Granted. You don't wake up until a week on Tuesday.

I wish my washing machine wasn't so bloody slow.

Green-eyed Monsta
28th-January-2007, 10:46 PM
Granted...your washing machine now goes really fast but it has torn all your favourite and most expensive underwear to shreds

I wish rhododendrons would flower longer

WittyBird
28th-January-2007, 10:46 PM
Granted -its now stopped, broken with all your favourite clothes for SP in it and a flood in the kitchen.

I wish my clothes were all ready for work tomorrow

rubyred
28th-January-2007, 11:34 PM
I wish my clothes were all ready for work tomorrow

Granted all your clothes are ready and waiting for you at work, but you have nothing in your house to wear and have to go to pick them up in your birthday suit.

I wish I could have enough will power to follow a pattern of healthy eating.

Blueshoes
29th-January-2007, 01:43 AM
I wish I could have enough will power to follow a pattern of healthy eating.
Well, you have now! But not enough to do anything else, including the shopping, so once you've eaten all the healthy stuff in the house you slowly starve to death....

I wish I'd started dancing earlier in my life.

WittyBird
29th-January-2007, 01:49 AM
Granted you did, your now 101 and frail.
I really wish I could sleep but without disrupting my work or SP :D

fletch
29th-January-2007, 09:39 AM
you can, but have a nightmare which upsets you for the day :tears:


I wish I could bottle up all the positive thoughts from my members, and sell them to the members who carn't get there head around the 'plan' getting them ALL to target weight.

Wouldbe
29th-January-2007, 04:11 PM
you can, but have a nightmare which upsets you for the day :tears:


I wish I could bottle up all the positive thoughts from my members, and sell them to the members who carn't get there head around the 'plan' getting them ALL to target weight.

You do and it works marvellously. In fact, everyone now is their target weight and you're out of a job!

I wish it would snow again and more this time!

fletch
29th-January-2007, 04:30 PM
You do and it works marvellously. In fact, everyone now is their target weight and you're out of a job!

I wish it would snow again and more this time!

NO! and double NO! I hate the cold :sad:

it does but the snow freezes your pipes and they burst causing a flood. :tears:


I wish I had nice nabours :tears:

Icey
29th-January-2007, 06:23 PM
I wish I had nice nabours :tears:

I don't know what they are but you have very nice ones :wink:

I wish I could do all my homework and reading by Friday so that I can go out dancing.

LMC
29th-January-2007, 09:30 PM
No problem, I just called your ISP and they have banned you, and called Mr Darcy's boss who is sending him on a work trip to New Auckland. Now you have nothing better to do than study.

I wish the same thing would happen to the Genie as they grant me.

Achaeco
29th-January-2007, 10:47 PM
No problem, I just called your ISP and they have banned you, and called Mr Darcy's boss who is sending him on a work trip to New Auckland. Now you have nothing better to do than study.

I wish the same thing would happen to the Genie as they grant me.

Oh god ill grant this one.:grin:
You are now surrounded by loads of beautiful young women who want to take you to paradise - if you know what i mean :innocent:

I wish my para shoot had opened before i hit the ground

Green-eyed Monsta
30th-January-2007, 12:58 AM
I wish my para shoot had opened before i hit the ground

Wish granted. It opened 3 seconds before you hit the ground but didn't really help much....shame you weren't a little more specific.

I wish there was someone here to dance with me right now!

Blueshoes
30th-January-2007, 01:11 AM
I wish there was someone here to dance with me right now!

You hear a knock at the door and in walks a tramp with a large pot belly, head lice and fleas who wants to dance blues with you to Christine Aguilera's "Nasty naughty boy"

I wish I could dance more often!

rubyred
30th-January-2007, 01:55 AM
''I wish I could dance more often''

You can, you dance at breakfast time, you dance at your coffee break, you dance through lunch time, and supper time and bedtime, but you will never eat or sleep again.

I wish I could afford never to work again.

Mythical
30th-January-2007, 02:06 AM
Bam! You can now afford never to work again.....but only because you won a 10 million compensation settlement after you went skydiving and your parachute failed to open....and now, you're parylised from the neck down and can do little more than dribble!

I wish I was up to date with my uni work!

Blueshoes
30th-January-2007, 02:10 AM
I wish I was up to date with my uni work!
Wish granted, you're completely up to date! Unfortunately it's all been done wrong and you have to resit two years worth of work.....

I wish I was a role model for other dancers

LMC
31st-January-2007, 02:41 PM
Oh god ill grant this one.:grin:
You are now surrounded by loads of beautiful young women who want to take you to paradise - if you know what i mean :innocent:
Cool, that's two to do the cleaning, one to do the cooking, one to be my chauffeuse so I can sleep in the car (which means I can go dancing more), two to look after the garden, two to send into work and do my job when I don't want to, one to be my personal shopper and several to contract out to make me even more money for dancing. Sorted, thanks.


I wish I was a role model for other dancers
Granted. Unfortunately you can never get on the floor because you're constantly mobbed with requests and every venue you go to is stacked to elbow room only.

I wish that I could get a takeaway roast dinner in Covent Garden.

pmjd
31st-January-2007, 02:48 PM
I wish that I could get a takeaway roast dinner in Covent Garden.

Granted - from the new flame thrower take away, where everything is roasted at 5000 degrees to a charred crisp, enjoy your meal:D

I wish my experiments would work first time:mad:

Tessalicious
31st-January-2007, 04:43 PM
I wish my experiments would work first time:mad:They do - and you try to publish them in excitement and nobody will accept them because they are convinced all your findings are fabricated, so you might as well not have bothered!

I wish everyone in my company could spell :mad:

Beowulf
31st-January-2007, 05:08 PM
I wish everyone in my company could spell :mad:

Granted.. they all now spell perfectly... in Yiddish

I wish work wasn't so boring..

Blueshoes
31st-January-2007, 05:12 PM
I wish work wasn't so boring..
It isn't now! In fact it's so exciting you spend all your waking hours there and have no time for anything else (dancing included - multiple yo-yos and all) or anyone else.

I wish my daughter gets straight "A"s in her exams

Wouldbe
31st-January-2007, 07:57 PM
I wish my daughter gets straight "A"s in her exams

She does, but having slept with all the moderators, she has no idea whose baby she's carrying!

I wish I could teach Ceroc - it looks like fun!

Mythical
31st-January-2007, 08:32 PM
and BOOM...you just bought a Ceroc Franchise and passed all the exams.....Shame you practised for the exams so much you're now bored to death of ceroc!!

Mythical
31st-January-2007, 08:55 PM
OOPS!

I wish my Ceroc class was a few hours longer!

Blueshoes
1st-February-2007, 01:50 AM
I wish my Ceroc class was a few hours longer!
Kazaam! Your Ceroc class is now a straight 24 hours. It's also compulsory to dance every dance, it's the same record - Tricky tricky, Lou Bega (170 bpm).

I wish Southport was a whole week instead of just the weekend.

Mythical
1st-February-2007, 02:06 AM
Kazaam! Your Ceroc class is now a straight 24 hours. It's also compulsory to dance every dance, it's the same record - Tricky tricky, Lou Bega (170 bpm).

I wish Southport was a whole week instead of just the weekend.


Well I've been listening to Mack the Knife for 24 hours straight and STILL can't wait to dance to it again, so that shouldn't be a problem!!

KAZOWIE!! Southport is now a WHOLE week......Unfortunately, you'll recieve a call on saturday morning which means you have to go home because ....something ....really really bad has happened!

I wish I could go to Southport this weekend!

LMC
1st-February-2007, 03:03 PM
You *can* go to Southport. But you are not allowed on the Pontins site because you don't have a ticket.

I wish I had had my expense claim paid today :tears: (£900 for Jan :what: - thank gawd the credit card bill hasn't come in yet)

Mythical
1st-February-2007, 04:01 PM
Kajigah! Your Expenses claim arrives, but unfortunately, your boiler blew up whilst you were at work that day, destroying the kitchen, - so now you have £900 to fix £9'000 worh of damage.

Icey
3rd-February-2007, 06:54 PM
No wish to grant :( soooo, I wish that I had done the prep work already on the all of the wood in my flat.

Mythical
3rd-February-2007, 08:41 PM
oos....I got so excited about being evil, I forgot to make a wish!!

Anyway, BOOM....fast forward a bit and you've done all the prep on the wod in your flat. Unfortunately, you've also discovered that most of it has serious woodworm problems and has to be ripped out and redone! Prep and all!

I wish I didn't have to clean the bathroom!

Green-eyed Monsta
4th-February-2007, 12:57 AM
I wish I didn't have to clean the bathroom!

Wish granted.... the door to your bathroom has been magically and irreversably sealed so you can never go in there again. From now on you will be showering under the garden hose and using the same "toilet" as the neighbourhood cats....(I do hope the plants in your garden aren't all deciduous...maybe that could be your next wish :D )

I wish my husband would stop messing about with the irrigation sysytem and killing my plants!!!!

Mythical
4th-February-2007, 01:05 AM
Wish granted.... the door to your bathroom has been magically and irreversably sealed so you can never go in there again. From now on you will be showering under the garden hose and using the same "toilet" as the neighbourhood cats....(I do hope the plants in your garden aren't all deciduous...maybe that could be your next wish :D )

I wish my husband would stop messing about with the irrigation sysytem and killing my plants!!!!

OOR...I could just use the other loo. :D

BOOM....hubby has stopped messing with the irrigation system. Unfortunately, it's only because servere cold weather has frozen all the water in the system, and your plants have been hit by a nasty frost, and now they're all dead anyway!

I wish I had someone to dance with!

Green-eyed Monsta
4th-February-2007, 01:21 AM
BOOM....hubby has stopped messing with the irrigation system. Unfortunately, it's only because servere cold weather has frozen all the water in the system, and your plants have been hit by a nasty frost, and now they're all dead anyway!

I wish I had someone to dance with!

You are pure evil!!!!!

SHAZAM! Someone for you to dance with. He's much shorter than you, will only do a first move and a yo-yo, and does both of these out of time to whatever is playing and with such an indistinct lead that you have great difficulty telling which one he's trying to do....

Right. Now I wish I was psychic.

Mythical
4th-February-2007, 09:33 PM
You are pure evil!!!!!
Why, thank you!! :awe:



Right. Now I wish I was psychic.
BANG! you're psychic......now when you walk around town,.....you can hear the thoughts and feelings of EVERYONE within eyeshot......dead or alive. It becomes so loud and painful that have to move to the outer hebrides and lock yourself in a bunker 100feet below the ground, and never come out again!

I wish this person you gave me to dance with was taller and knew more moves!

Dai
4th-February-2007, 10:28 PM
I wish this person you gave me to dance with was taller and knew more moves!

Granted - your wish is my command!!

But your dance partner is now so tall - they are 9ft tall and a total giant!! His giant body is accompanied by giant muscles, which he uses to tug you here there and everywhere leading the roughest dance you have ever had

He also know lots of moves - mostly variations on the comb, and pretsel, all being over head moves, which involve you having to jump to complete the moves.


I wish i could go to the escape weekenders with all my friends!!

Mythical
4th-February-2007, 10:33 PM
Granted, you CAN go to the escape wekenders with all your friends and you'll have a great time.....but your friends are so rowdy, you were kicked out for making a nuissance of yourselves!

Mythical
4th-February-2007, 11:01 PM
And I did it again. I just enjoy being evil far too much!

I wish the Southport lot would hurry up and get back so we can see the pictures/read the reports!

Isis
5th-February-2007, 10:44 PM
I wish the Southport lot would hurry up and get back so we can see the pictures/read the reports!

They have. Now you feel really sad and left out because you weren't there too!

I wish I didn't have to give a month's notice in the job from hell.

rubyred
6th-February-2007, 12:42 AM
I wish I didn't have to give a month's notice in the job from hell.[/quote]

wish granted -:devil: your boss from the job in hell lets you off giving a months notice and makes you stay for another year :devil:

I wish I had all my paperwork up to date.

Mythical
6th-February-2007, 01:28 PM
I wish I had all my paperwork up to date.

It's all up to date and ready to go, but as soon as you realise this, they'll bring in another type of form which has to be filled in to replace all the forms you just filled in.

I wish it was payday, yesterday!

Tessalicious
6th-February-2007, 05:11 PM
It was, but it was January's pay day and you'd already run out of money since Christmas so you ended up overdrawn and now have a huge fine to pay on that, as well as loads of overdue bills! Should've budgeted better :wink:

I wish I hadn't dropped my phone in the washing up on Sunday.

Cruella
6th-February-2007, 05:50 PM
I wish I hadn't dropped my phone in the washing up on Sunday.

Granted. You dropped it down the toilet instead.

I wish I hadn't had a tummy bug on friday at Southport. :sad:

Mythical
7th-February-2007, 01:10 AM
you didn't. You enjoyed your first nights dancing so much that you woke up in the morning to realise you've twisted your shoulder, done your back in, your knees are sore and you just generally can't get out of bed for the rest of the weekend because of your poor, aching bones!

I wish it was 8pm, and I was just going into Ceroc again!

Blueshoes
7th-February-2007, 01:36 AM
I wish it was 8pm, and I was just going into Ceroc again!

Wish granted! It's now 8pm and you're just going into the venue, as you enter..... it's now 8pm and you're just going into the venue, as you enter..... it's now 8pm......

I wish it wasn't so damned cold!

purplehyacinth
8th-February-2007, 12:43 AM
I wish it wasn't so damned cold!

Granted! It's a lot colder now than it was when you made your wish.

I wish my shoulder didn't hurt

Green-eyed Monsta
8th-February-2007, 12:55 AM
I wish my shoulder didn't hurt

It's a miracle! Your shoulder doesn't hurt at all....but if you want to keep it that way you have to give up all dancing, forever......the evil genie also throws in some complimentary aching knees to occupy your mind while you aren't dancing....(no need to thank me!:flower:)

I wish department meetings at work were more exciting....

rubyred
8th-February-2007, 01:20 AM
I wish department meetings at work were more exciting....

They are now ,and they've got so exciting you don't want to leave so you spend the rest of your life at department meetings.

I wish I could organise my time more effectively.:sad:

rubyred
8th-February-2007, 01:24 AM
[quote=Mythical;338452]It's all up to date and ready to go, but as soon as you realise this, they'll bring in another type of form which has to be filled in to replace all the forms you just filled in.

Spooky or what this has a ring of truth about it - the forms at work have just been revised. Oooo er :eek: :eek:

Mythical
8th-February-2007, 07:40 PM
You can....but now you've got so into the organising, you realise that dancing is a frivolous waste of time, and make a rash descision to join the army!

I wish I had something good to eat, and I could eat it and it wouldn't make me ill, or disappear when i tucked in.

LMC
8th-February-2007, 09:00 PM
*delivers a whole plate of raw spinach and liver* Very good for you, full of iron. Tuck in.

I wish I didn't have the usual post-SP cold :tears: :sniff:

Mythical
9th-February-2007, 11:52 AM
mmm....yummy. (shame it's hard to do sarcasm in writing)

you don't. Come to think if it, you don't remember going to SP, either. Oh well - you must have mised it this year 'cause it's always made you ill before!

I wish my car worked so I didn't have to cycle everywhere in this cold!

Icey
9th-February-2007, 12:31 PM
I wish my car worked so I didn't have to cycle everywhere in this cold!

You do, but driving in to work you skid and write if off along with 17 other cars :eek:

I wish that I was up to date with my homework

Mythical
9th-February-2007, 12:37 PM
you ARE up to date with your homework.
You hand it in, and are handed another lot to do.
(doesn't that happen anyway....I can't see any way of being more evil with homework than it already is!)

Achaeco
9th-February-2007, 12:47 PM
You do, but driving in to work you skid and write if off along with 17 other cars :eek:

I wish that I was up to date with my homework

All done - at last. But with this geni being evil you finished on your 90th birthday. You have spent all your life on homework, didnt even get to sit your exams.

I wish i wasnt looking after my kid this weekend. (is that nasty)

rubyred
12th-February-2007, 02:37 AM
I wish i wasnt looking after my kid this weekend. (is that nasty)

Ok......... you end up your wish granted, and then you see your child with your ex's new partner, then you wish you were looking after your child this weekend.

I wish for nothing really, think I've got most of what I want for the next five minutes.

Ok couldn't wait five minutes - I wish my best mate in Ireland will go to Ceroc in Dublin and then I can go too, when I visit her.

Green-eyed Monsta
12th-February-2007, 03:20 AM
I wish my best mate in Ireland will go to Ceroc in Dublin and then I can go too, when I visit her.

Wish granted! Your mate turns out to be really good at Ceroc and becomes a hotshot.....is now too cool to hang out with you anymore. Bummer!

I wish my friend would call me.....

Icey
12th-February-2007, 02:16 PM
I wish my friend would call me.....

Would call you what? :devil:

Granted, your friend does call you but because you haven't paid the bill the call gets cut off.

I wish that I didn't have to drive to Surrey this afternoon

Tessalicious
12th-February-2007, 02:36 PM
You don't, you have to drive to Siberia. Enjoy!

I wish my geography was more up to scratch.

rubyred
24th-February-2007, 02:48 AM
I wish my geography was more up to scratch.

your wish is granted you now get a rash and scratch yourself around the world. :eek:

I wish that I could dance with Darren Bennet

Mythical
26th-February-2007, 04:15 PM
Granted, but he's in an awful mood and tells you your dancing is SOO bad he never wants to dance with you again!

I wish it was Tuesday

Tessalicious
26th-February-2007, 04:39 PM
I wish it was TuesdayIt is - every day is Tuesday, and you will never have another Saturday. And there's no dancing on Tuesday for 40 miles from you in any direction.

I wish I'd decided to take the whole day off for the Monday after Storm :(

Mythical
26th-February-2007, 05:07 PM
It is - every day is Tuesday, and you will never have another Saturday. And there's no dancing on Tuesday for 40 miles from you in any direction.

I wish I'd decided to take the whole day off for the Monday after Storm :(

DAMN! that means my favourite venue has shut down!!!:tears:

You did......but your boss phones you at 4pm on friday and says you HAVE to work that weekend, or it's JCM for you!!

I wish I could get some new sparkly red flat dance shoes!

baldrick
1st-March-2007, 09:09 PM
You can ,but your on the way to three weeks walking in the Andies

Wish it would be sunny all weekend

ShinyWeeStar
1st-March-2007, 09:14 PM
Granted, it will be sunny all weekend... but that's the last sun you'll see for a while as the weather's to turn overcast and dreich for the next year. Bye bye summer... :(

I wish I could be on holiday, somewhere warm and beautiful and peaceful and relaxing...

Mythical
2nd-March-2007, 01:50 AM
Warm...yep.
Peaceful....yep.
Beautiful....yep.
Relaxing...yep.

You're camping for two weeks in the middle of the Kalahari desert!! enjoy your stay!

I wish I could go to sleep, now!