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Jazz_Shoes (Ash)
10th-July-2006, 10:57 PM
(Thought that might get your attention)
Ok, I have got to say that I am soooo sick of men that make noises when they lead a move and I (the follower) can't follow it or misinterpret the signal. What is wrong with just carrying on with the dance? It doesn't seem to bother anyone else, when I lead and I lead something wrong it doesn't bother me! It ruins what could be a perfectly good dance, instead I feel like it is getting blamed on me for not following it properly.
Maybe the title of this thread should be 'People' not 'men' but i've never danced with a woman leading and her taking it so serious.

Ok, that was just a rant, but I am allowed to rant if I want :mad:

From Ash, pissed off little forumite, grrrrr

Beowulf
10th-July-2006, 11:02 PM
define "noises"?

I make noises.. but my noises are usually "Ooops sorry I did that wrong!"

Jazz_Shoes (Ash)
10th-July-2006, 11:09 PM
define "noises"?

I make noises.. but my noises are usually "Ooops sorry I did that wrong!"

More knida like 'ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'. Oops is fine as long as you are not being deadly serious.

MartinHarper
10th-July-2006, 11:30 PM
I try to avoid reading too much into what my partner says/scats/emotes. It's easy to over-analyse things and sabotage my own enjoyment of the dance, without really achieving anything positive.

Communication is like dancing. If you discern a five page essay from "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh", you may be guilty of a little anticipation.

Feelingpink
10th-July-2006, 11:32 PM
More knida like 'ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'. Oops is fine as long as you are not being deadly serious.Not tutting? Men are very good at that ... as well as the long breath of disapproval as the air is sucked between their front teeth. Women just don't seem to have the same ability in this area (perhaps we don't practise it??? :devil: ) Is it the same kind of noise as a chap might make after raising the bonnet on a broken motor vehicle? A woman (when observing mistakes in her dance partner) would be more likely to raise her eyebrows and go into a hard Paddington stare, I would have thought ... either that or hysterical giggling if she's very cruel. And we wonder why there are sometimes too many women in MJ....

Freya
11th-July-2006, 12:00 AM
Not tutting? Men are very good at that ... as well as the long breath of disapproval as the air is sucked between their front teeth.
I hate this :angry: :mad: :angry: :mad: :angry: It always makes me think that I've done something Wrong! But I have had one guy do this then go Apologise! His Tutting was at himself not at me so now I try not to take it so seriously! Although Paranoia often gets the better of me! It's not always the leads fault!!!

Mostlysane
11th-July-2006, 12:28 AM
But but but.

Surely it's a male led dance. If it goes wrong, it's the mans fault? :grin:

This can cause real trouble. It's happened to a friend of mine and it knocked her confidence so much she went home for the night. And that was from one "sound" in one dance. I'd just avoid dancing with them again. Or, dance with them and make sure you tut right back at him when i goes wrong. Or tut when it goes right and have an "is that the best you can do" look on your face so stress him out a bit.

Freya
11th-July-2006, 12:30 AM
But but but.

Surely it's a male led dance. If it goes wrong, it's the mans fault? :grin:

This can cause real trouble. It's happened to a friend of mine and it knocked her confidence so much she went home for the night. And that was from one "sound" in one dance. I'd just avoid dancing with them again. Or, dance with them and make sure you tut right back at him when i goes wrong. Or tut when it goes right and have an "is that the best you can do" look on your face so stress him out a bit.
And "Knock his confidence!" :what: It works both ways! And We're all learning!!!

Green-eyed Monsta
11th-July-2006, 12:58 AM
Ooh Ash, good topic!

I stuff up lots so I'm not going to even try and blame the men. (How could so many men be wrong? :sick: It HAS to be me!). Usually it's no big deal and we keep on dancing and at the end they'll teach me what it was I was meant to do.....but if I stuff up with my HUSBAND he has the biggest hissy fit ever!!

Maybe men make noises with women they know well?

TheTramp
11th-July-2006, 01:18 AM
I'm sure that this works both ways.... I've definitely seen women giving guys a hard time when they lead a move badly.

Anyhow, isn't MJ a 'blame-free' culture. I never particularly worry if something I attempt goes wrongly. I might try to lead it again a little while later, and see if I can lead it better. Or I'll just forget about it.

I do say to beginners that it is always the mans fault. If they don't follow, it's because I didn't lead it well enough, or led a move that was inappropriate to do with them. But I do also then say that who cares anyhow. It's just about having fun, and if something goes wrong, then just smile, forget about it, and carry on.

MartinHarper
11th-July-2006, 01:57 AM
It's happened to a friend of mine and it knocked her confidence so much she went home for the night. And that was from one "sound" in one dance.

Well on the plus side, that's an easy fix any time there are too many women at an event. Just wait till she's dancing and say "ahhh". Just don't sneeze. It might knock her confidence in her respiratory system.

Paul F
11th-July-2006, 11:02 AM
I like to make noises akin to a tennis player for each move :rofl:

stewart38
11th-July-2006, 11:14 AM
I like to make noises akin to a tennis player for each move :rofl:

yes the old LOVE 30 is the best

killingtime
11th-July-2006, 11:33 AM
More knida like 'ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'. Oops is fine as long as you are not being deadly serious.

Well if the move went wrong they might be panicking about how to get into another move or just continue the dance. I think Beowulf was 'Oops'ing at himself, which might also be what these men were doing. There is a big thing about confidence though and it's easy to take a reaction to moves going wrongly in the wrong way (or I guess the right way depending on why the guy is making the noise).

littlewiggle
11th-July-2006, 12:05 PM
What about the man who always 'rolls his r's' and goes Grrrrrrrrrr!! I always expect him to break into "arriba, arriba"! Don't like it.............!

Piglet
11th-July-2006, 12:07 PM
I don't think this has happened to me for ages :rofl: *smug Pig!*

But that's probably because I give as good as I get - have a go at my dancing and I'll point out something wrong with yours - all's fair in love and dancing after all.

Have a go back Ash - the kind of dancers that try to belittle you aren't worth the 3 or so minutes... you'll find they don't come and seek you out for a dance the same after you've dented their pride:devil:

pmjd
11th-July-2006, 12:17 PM
What about the man who always 'rolls his r's' and goes Grrrrrrrrrr!! I always expect him to break into "arriba, arriba"! Don't like it.............!
Don't know about the Grrrrrrrr's but if your ever dancing in Scotland you'd better expect a lots of rolled r's and c's:wink:

Funkychick
11th-July-2006, 12:19 PM
Thought I need to have a say on this one - new to this forum, but not to ceroc. I make noises most of the time as a follower and I've never really thought about it til now but I probably put my partners off??

I whoooo and yeehaa a bit!! I usually sing too and I don't have the best singing voice but when I am making a noise on the dancefloor it means I'm having fun and not taking the dance too seriously. I don't tend to make any noises during the bluesy moves tho - they are far too serious for noise:wink:

Apologies to all I have danced with and pained you with my noise...

Donna
11th-July-2006, 12:23 PM
I like to make noises akin to a tennis player for each move :rofl:


Just remind me to wear ear-plugs next time I dance with you then! I'll start :blush: :grin: :rofl:

TiggsTours
11th-July-2006, 12:28 PM
The only noises I don't like men making when we're dancing are the lustful grunts and the "Ooh yeah, baby!" type noises! Ugccchhhhh!!!!! Some men can just leave a girl feeling totally violated! Euch! :sick: :angry:

pmjd
11th-July-2006, 12:29 PM
I usually sing too and I don't have the best singing voice

Thats why I do the Milli Vanilli thing when singing to music on the dancefloor:wink:

Donna
11th-July-2006, 12:37 PM
The only noises I don't like men making when we're dancing are the lustful grunts and the "Ooh yeah, baby!" type noises! Ugccchhhhh!!!!! Some men can just leave a girl feeling totally violated! Euch! :sick: :angry:


:yeah: :rofl:

Piglet
11th-July-2006, 12:44 PM
the "Ooh yeah, baby!" type noises!
It's a bit like the sweating thing - depends who the guy is saying it :wink:

Sheepman
11th-July-2006, 12:56 PM
depends who the guy is saying it I guess so, but I can't imagine anyone saying "Ooh yeah, baby!" and it being anything less than creepy, or at best ironic!

I think I'll just stick with that restrained "I've gone weak at the knees" sigh.

Greg

Lynn
11th-July-2006, 01:00 PM
If we are talking about disapproving noises - usually there is an expression to match, so you know its disapproving. You then need to work out if they are annoyed with themselves or with you. If they are annoyed with themselves, that's fine with me, I like the fact they care enough about the dance to get frustrated. I have occasionally had a cross look from a lead when I haven't got a move 'right', sometimes because the lead hasn't been clear. Often followed by them repeatedly leading the move until I do what he wants me to. As a beginner I would have found this very offputting, got flustered etc. Now if I get that sort of reaction from a lead (and I'm following as well as I can) I just sort of detach, go through the motions of the dance, do what he wants me to do and smile politely at the end.

pmjd
11th-July-2006, 01:03 PM
I guess so, but I can't imagine anyone saying "Ooh yeah, baby!" and it being anything less than creepy, or at best ironic!

Unless your dancing with Austin Powers:whistle:

Your wife
11th-July-2006, 01:42 PM
This kind of behaviour (from men) is commonly known as being a Nerd, Nerding, or to "nerd out" someone. I got a lot of this as a beginner a certain provincial location, but none when I switched venues. What makes me laugh is I go back to the original place now and am a much better dancer than the nerds that "made noises" at me originally. :rofl:

Government Health Warning: Nerding could result in loss of potentially great dancers. Passive Nerding kills confidence. Do not Nerd on the dancefloor!:angry:

Piglet
12th-July-2006, 10:10 AM
I guess so, but I can't imagine anyone saying "Ooh yeah, baby!" and it being anything less than creepy, or at best ironic!

Well there's one lovely, lovely, lovely guy here in Aberdeen that has said it to me more than once and it makes me smile. I'd introduce you, but I've never seen him dance with another guy so you'd have to dance nearby... could maybe fix that...

However, there is another one who also says it at times, who can be great fun as a funny sleazy dancer, but there was one dance I found just a bit tooo sleazy so I don't head for him any more.

Trish
12th-July-2006, 11:28 AM
You could always ask the guy your dancing with whether he's annoyed at you or himself. If he's annoyed at himself then you can help him sort out the move. If he feels like you're not doing the move properly then it gives you the chance to ask what you're doing wrong (even if you're not) and slowly go through the move to solve the problem for next time. I've done this before, sometimes it's me misinterpretting, and sometimes he's leading badly but I have the chance to subtly point out that if he lead it more forcefully/with hims arm in a different position or whatever, it might work better. Of course this all depends on whether it's anyone you're that bothered about dancing with, if it's not, it's probably not worth it!

drathzel
12th-July-2006, 08:30 PM
Men shaking their heads is another thing!!! altho i have danced with a guy who was shaking his head cuz he was feeling the music!

El Salsero Gringo
14th-July-2006, 08:56 AM
yes the old LOVE 30 is the bestI prefer "Juice!"

Some men can just leave a girl feeling totally violated!oops

TiggsTours
14th-July-2006, 09:05 AM
:angry:
It's a bit like the sweating thing - depends who the guy is saying it :wink:
Nope, it wouldn't matter WHO was saying it, its just pervy and horrible! Euch!

Piglet
14th-July-2006, 10:24 PM
:angry:
Nope, it wouldn't matter WHO was saying it, its just pervy and horrible! Euch!
I have to argue cos the guy I know is not saying it in any sort of sleazy way and its not taken in that way - he's married, I'm attached, we're dancing and we're having fun - nowt more meant, nowt more expected. In fact I'd even go as far as saying the guy is a complete gentleman. Maybe you'd have to meet him to change your mind... I've got to say if I didn't know him, I'd be saying the same as you were :flower: