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ducasi
22nd-June-2006, 10:50 PM
Something I noticed both in Blackpool and in Southport was that having two dances in a row with someone was almost expected, while in Scotland (in my experience,) it's exceptional.

I can see good and bad in this... It's nice to be able to have two dances with someone you like to dance with, but still with the option of having only one. But in Southport I sometimes found I was "out of sync" with girls I wanted to dance with... When I was finishing a second dance she would be starting a second one, and so I had to give someone only one dance, or sit out for a dance to get in time to be able to ask.

I'm wondering if this two dances thing is par for the course south of the border, or maybe it only happens at special events, or whatever...

I hope the poll options are self-explanatory. :)

Piglet
22nd-June-2006, 10:54 PM
Wow - this is freaky!

Last night I asked for a second dance from all the guys who I danced with - except for one, but I had my reasons there.

I then had a conversation with another lady who was complaining that there weren't that many men that she wanted to dance with last night, so I said that I'd been dancing a second dance with the ones that asked me because I also felt that there was a lack of men I particularly wanted to dance with.

She told me I was being greedy. I defended my requests for second dances by saying it wasn't being greedy but rather I was paying the lead a compliment by letting him know I enjoyed the first dance and would like a second. I did agree that 3 or more in a row might be a bit greedy though.

I remember I used to often have 2 dances in a row - got out of the habit, but might just get back into it. I actually thought of last night as my Happy Hour Night - 2 dances for the price of 1 :wink:

Sorry Ducasi but I don't feel I can vote because I don't think I can class 1 dance or 2 dances as normal - it can be a variety, to go with the variety of partners and the variety of experiences *hugs*

Freya
22nd-June-2006, 10:55 PM
I hope the poll options are self-explanatory. :)
Errrrrrr what poll????

Ok poll is ther now!!!!!!

drathzel
22nd-June-2006, 10:58 PM
Duc, i take it N.I is "elsewhere"

Piglet
22nd-June-2006, 11:02 PM
And what about Australia and everywhere else - Norway, USA... it'd be interesting to hear what is "normal" there - if there is such a thing.:flower:

Freya
22nd-June-2006, 11:04 PM
I rarely ask for a second dance in a row as this feels greedy however I will go find people later in the evening for a second dance or a third!!!
I did have 2 in a row with gadget a couple of weeks ago as one of my favorute song's came on just after we finished our first dance! Felt ery bad as I know that he loves to get around :wink:

It really does depend on my mood the night and the other dancers there!

straycat
22nd-June-2006, 11:05 PM
Need another option, I think.

I live south of the border, and it's a reactive thing.

We dance one. If one party then asks for another, we dance two. Seems to be about 50/50

Piglet
22nd-June-2006, 11:06 PM
I rarely ask for a second dance in a row as this feels greedy
Oh well! Maybe I'm in denial - and maybe I picked the name Piglet for a reason :rofl:

ducasi
22nd-June-2006, 11:06 PM
Duc, i take it N.I is "elsewhere"
'fraid so... I've only ever danced in Scotland and England, so I didn't want other places biasing the poll...

I'd expect that N.I. to be a lot like Scotland though – full of fabby dancers who typically only hog their partners for one dance at a time. :)

Freya
22nd-June-2006, 11:09 PM
Oh well! Maybe I'm in denial - and maybe I picked the name Piglet for a reason :rofl:

:rofl: Didn't say I didn't do it though! and I tend to go get dances later!!!!!

pmjd
22nd-June-2006, 11:12 PM
I sometimes ask for a second dance:blush: if I really enjoyed the first and think the next song would be great to dance to with that partner.

I have been asked for second dances and it always boosts the ego a little bit:o but take it as a compliment instead of the lady being greedy.

Don't think I've had more than two dances in a row but that might be verging on the greedy:whistle:

spindr
22nd-June-2006, 11:23 PM
Two dances is great! You get to adapt to your partner and hopefully the second dance will be even better. Or, if you have a variety of approaches to your dancing -- then maybe you can have an intense, smouldering dance followed by a real fun "bouncy" one. Or, maybe the DJ will vary the speed of the music :)

SpinDr

Piglet
22nd-June-2006, 11:30 PM
hog
Okay - I'm all for a new rule where only forumites called Piglet or Piggy names can have 2 dances in a row with delicious men :D :clap: :flower:

ducasi
22nd-June-2006, 11:34 PM
Okay - I'm all for a new rule where only forumites called Piglet or Piggy names can have 2 dances in a row with delicious men :D :clap: :flower:
You can have as many dances in a row with me as you want. :flower:

(So long as I count as delicious. :nice:)

Piglet
22nd-June-2006, 11:36 PM
Roll on Stirling Ducasi! :clap:

MartinHarper
22nd-June-2006, 11:43 PM
My suspicion is that it's the difference between class nights and weekenders, rather than a North/South thing. Weekenders tend to have better dancers, and better dancers tend to have two dances rather than one.

Yliander
22nd-June-2006, 11:50 PM
My experince is that in Scotland one dance seems to be the normal. At Southport my experience was mixed - sometimes 1 dance sometimes 2 dances and in one delightful experience 3 dances!

In Australia it will be one dance or two dances depending......

ads
23rd-June-2006, 06:35 AM
Why does it matter?? If you pay your money to get in and both are consenting adults isn't that all that it takes. If I am enjoying a dance I will dance for as long she saids yes.

ducasi
23rd-June-2006, 07:54 AM
Why does it matter?? If you pay your money to get in and both are consenting adults isn't that all that it takes. If I am enjoying a dance I will dance for as long she saids yes.
It doesn't really matter at all. I'm just curious...

Cruella
23rd-June-2006, 08:13 AM
Most of the time i have one dance. If i manage to get hold of one of my favourites (that i know well) i will ask for a second. It's not because i only want one dance, i just get embarrassed asking for a second. :blush: I think this is because i don't want them to feel obliged to have a second, i would rather they asked me if they want another. I take this as a huge compliment if they do.
There is one fabby male forumite who is renound for keeping his partner on the floor for 4/5/6 dances. On the few occasions i've danced with him, i've thoroughly enjoyed this, but have also been concious of the other females sitting around without someone to dance with. It makes me feel greedy! In an ideal world of balanced numbers it's not so much of a problem, which is why i guess places like Southport see a higher number of second and third dances. The fact that some of these people only catch up with each other a couple of times a year also has an influence.

Frankie_4711
23rd-June-2006, 08:23 AM
Think I may have only ever asked for a second dance in a row once or twice, but have been asked on several occasions, or sometimes not asked ... sometimes he just doesn't stop dancing!! (this has happened several times with different partners! Luckily, so far it has only happened with people I want to continue dancing with.) For me though, 2 in a row is not the norm.

LMC
23rd-June-2006, 09:04 AM
Most of the time i have one dance. If i manage to get hold of one of my favourites (that i know well) i will ask for a second. It's not because i only want one dance, i just get embarrassed asking for a second. :blush: I think this is because i don't want them to feel obliged to have a second, i would rather they asked me if they want another. I take this as a huge compliment if they do.
:yeah: / Me too.

It's lovely when the connection is so grand that you just both decide to 'carry on' without saying anything :drool:

stewart38
23rd-June-2006, 09:34 AM
There is one fabby male forumite who is renound for keeping his partner on the floor for 4/5/6 dances. On the few occasions i've danced with him, i've thoroughly enjoyed this, but have also been concious of the other females sitting around without someone to dance with. It makes me feel greedy! In an ideal world of balanced numbers it's not so much of a problem, which is why i guess places like Southport see a higher number of second and third dances. The fact that some of these people only catch up with each other a couple of times a year also has an influence.

Ok ill restict to just 1 :wink:

TA Guy
23rd-June-2006, 09:34 AM
Two dances is the norm in the deep south (Hampshire). Only doing one dance, needs an excuse.

I'm sure people prefer one or two dances more or less dependant on whether that's 'normal' for their dance nights.

My experience is that one of the best things about dancing two is the slight reduction in the hanging around the edge of the dance floor pouncing on dancers as they become free. With two dances, peeps arn't quite so desperate not to miss a chunk of the song.
It also gives you more time to adapt to your partner. On the other hand, if you really don't gel, there's no escape without seeming a bit rude or having to make up an excuse. Bad for those who, for example, don't have the technique to be able to adapt to the bouncy hand style :)

The great thing is when people ask you for a third, then you *know* they love dancing with you :)

Twirly
23rd-June-2006, 09:58 AM
When I first started, one dance was definitely all I ever got, but as time has gone on, I've had increasing number of double dances, though I've always been asked for them, have never requested them myself - though I've recently been thinking about doing it sometime. Yet another way to stretch myself!

The first time the double dance thing happened to me in any great number was when I did the Ceroc London Eye and boat thing, and boy did I feel flattered (could see the quality of the dancers there and knew that I didn't come up to that standard by half) :D It's happened a few times since, but it's still a rarity.

I quite like the fact that it's unusual though - it makes it special. If it was the norm, then it would take three dances to make it special, and I'd be too knackered by then (if the music was too fast) to dance well enough :blush: I do like a little rest, then to be asked again later on though, and I've just started doing that too (asked for a return dance later in the evening for the first time on Monday). :clap: :nice:

Wendy
23rd-June-2006, 11:07 AM
My suspicion is that it's the difference between class nights and weekenders, rather than a North/South thing. Weekenders tend to have better dancers, and better dancers tend to have two dances rather than one.

Maybe.. but it might also be bacause with so many people you might not get the chance to dance again.

I rarely ask for a second dance in a row but then that's cos it is likely I have asked for the first one ! I am tickled pink if he asks for a second dance cos either he has enjoyed it or is simply returning the favour of me asking in the first place - either way I take it as a compliment.

When I really really really like dancing with a Mr Popular I know but don't see very often, at a party or weekender, I might ask twice in one night but not 2 in a row. Unless it is the most amazing track that we I know (would hope)we would both enjoy.

At a normal class night if I want to dance all night then I can ask people many times throughout the night. They are people I know pretty well and so I can rest assured they won't think I'm a stalker.

Late night in a Blues Room I might ask someone a couple of times but by that time they are also asking me back :waycool:

In France they can stay up with the same person for about 5 tracks :sick: It makes the whole thing feel very exclusive. I also do a lot of asking as they tend to only ask people they know. Even MORE exclusive ! I am making my way into their hearts though with my usual sweet and sublte ways. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Wx

PeteK
23rd-June-2006, 12:26 PM
And what about Australia and everywhere else - Norway, USA... it'd be interesting to hear what is "normal" there - if there is such a thing.:flower:

Working assumption that Australia is 'South of the Border' (by a few miles) :wink:

PeteK
23rd-June-2006, 12:33 PM
Two dances is the norm in the deep south (Hampshire). Only doing one dance, needs an excuse. :)

Interesting - in London it seems one dance is definitely the norm. If I ask someone for a second dance its usually because (i) I know them quite well and (ii) the first dance was great and there's a great track coming up next.




The great thing is when people ask you for a third, then you *know* they love dancing with you :) Absolutely !:yeah:

Gadget
23rd-June-2006, 12:33 PM
My normal is one dance (in a row) or 1 1/2 if I only manage to get onto the floor half way through a song - I would miss too many ladies if I dances two in a row.

That's not to say I won't re-visit a few dancers :D, but I like the 'tease' factor of building anticipation - "will is be as good as last time? will it be better? what's the next track going to be like?..." :devil:

DavidY
23rd-June-2006, 12:53 PM
It's lovely when the connection is so grand that you just both decide to 'carry on' without saying anything :drool:I find the opposite. Very occasionally I have a REALLY good dance with someone (me, partner, music all gelling together), but it sometimes feels like I'm dancing better than my true "level".

So I can feel that I'm unlikely to be able to repeat it on the next track, and I have been known to thank them for wonderful dance and quit while I'm ahead.:blush:

Yogi_Bear
23rd-June-2006, 01:21 PM
....................
So I can feel that I'm unlikely to be able to repeat it on the next track, and I have been known to thank them for wonderful dance and quit while I'm ahead.:blush:
There is a lot ot be said for that.
I usually never ask for a second dance, rather than run the risk of being turned down...:innocent:

Lynn
23rd-June-2006, 04:09 PM
I only expect one dance, a second is a compliment because it isn't expected, its an indication that the first dance was nice and we will stay up for another.


but have been asked on several occasions, or sometimes not asked ... sometimes he just doesn't stop dancing!! This has happened to me sometimes too and I rather like it, we both have a lovely dance and aren't ready to stop dancing together just yet, nothing needs to be said. (And sometimes its more than two, or three... but those are the rare occasions when everything clicks...)

Tessalicious
23rd-June-2006, 04:35 PM
I seem to remember I used to quite happily dance two in a row with anyone who asked, and be more willing to ask for a second myself, much more when I first started. I think that's mainly because I'd just been going to a ballroom and latin class where they would play two tracks for the same type of dance followed by two of a different (ie two waltzes, two cha-chas, two foxtrots, two sambas) and the tradition was that you danced the first of each pair with the same partner as you danced with for the last of the previous pair. Also snowballs and group dances, where you took the last partner as your partner for the next track.

These days, because I feel like there are always so many different people to dance with, it is rare that I will have two dances in a row with the same person at a class night (except the last two dances), and usually not even at separate times in the evening. At a freestyle or weekender it is different - I'll have two dances with friends, if I'm allowed, and with new people or people I see rarely, especially if the first dance is great - straight away, or I'll go back and find them later. But I still don't expect it; variety is the spice of dance and although there will always be another dance reserved for certain special people, I will only be desperate to stick to a partner if the song is perfect or if I don't think I'm likely to dance with them again for a long time.

TA Guy
23rd-June-2006, 05:13 PM
Interesting - in London it seems one dance is definitely the norm. If I ask someone for a second dance its usually because (i) I know them quite well and (ii) the first dance was great and there's a great track coming up next.


I don't know why it changed. I seem to remember dancing in London, at Hammersmith Palais, Casbah's etc. and two was the norm. Maybe my memory is playing up, it was a long time ago.

David Bailey
23rd-June-2006, 08:14 PM
I don't know why it changed. I seem to remember dancing in London, at Hammersmith Palais, Casbah's etc. and two was the norm. Maybe my memory is playing up, it was a long time ago.
If so, mine is too - 'coz I recall 2 dances being the norm in the 90s.

Having said that, my memory is telling me that we've had this conversation before, so I'm not sure how reliable it is :eek: :rofl:

Gadget
23rd-June-2006, 09:51 PM
Having said that, my memory is telling me that we've had this conversation before, so I'm not sure how reliable it is :eek: :rofl:
perhaps because Franck started this one a long time ago: One dance or two? (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=194)
Or DavidB introduced it in the title post of this thread: Class etiquette (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=133)
I raised it in about post8 of Gus's thread: Dance Flooor Etiquette (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=603)
Or there is this short one: One dance or more (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5299)
Or it's raised quite early on in one of Franck's very first threads: Dance etiquette: Asking for a dance... (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=42)
Or this thread: asking for a second dance (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6139)
This one is sort of related: Being interrupted (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3626)

... but my guess is that you're going senile. :na:

DavidB
23rd-June-2006, 10:14 PM
I think we need to rename Gadget as Google

TA Guy
24th-June-2006, 12:32 AM
Some things, "hand bouncing", "how good the last weekender was".... and of course, "one dance or two", never go out of fashion :)

Alice
24th-June-2006, 12:28 PM
Interesting - in London it seems one dance is definitely the norm. If I ask someone for a second dance its usually because (i) I know them quite well and (ii) the first dance was great and there's a great track coming up next.


Absolutely !:yeah:
I would say I've found this too- in fact I really enjoyed the BFG because more people seemed to do two in a row:)

In Oz (ok, Sydney) two is definitely the norm- I would be surprised to be refused a second dance and it has been awkward the times I've felt the need to run away after only one. You might score three with a favourite but I'd say more than that is rare, even with that special someone (unless you tend to dance with them exclusively).

Two dances in general I think is a good idea- if you know the person you get to dance to different speeds/types of music, and if you don't, it gives you both a chance to get a feel for the other's style. A lot of guys use the first dance to test the waters- following, dips/drops, close moves etc- and the second to play around a bit more with some more challenging stuff.

PeteK
26th-June-2006, 05:11 PM
Two dances in general I think is a good idea- if you know the person you get to dance to different speeds/types of music, and if you don't, it gives you both a chance to get a feel for the other's style. A lot of guys use the first dance to test the waters- following, dips/drops, close moves etc- and the second to play around a bit more with some more challenging stuff.


I'd agree with this (second point)..... When I have a second dance with someone, (provided I feel it'll work out well based on the first dance), I'll usually try some more challenging moves or variations.

animaltalk
27th-June-2006, 07:37 PM
I used to be a one dance man, trying to please :wink: as many ladies as possible :Exhausted:

Then I started doing tango, where it is customary to have 3 dances, hello, main dance and goodbye.

Now I tend to aim for at least 2 dances.
I have no qualms to ask for 4 or more, if the lady and the music are both wonderful. I also try not too feel that guilty re ladies waiting, because the following week I will spend the same amount of time with them.

I'd rather spend quality dance time with a few ladies, than rush through lots. More relaxed, pleasurable, challenging and interesting. It does mean that I will dance with ladies in Exeter once every 6 weeks or so.

So a question for the ladies: Which would you prefer:
4 dances every 6 weeks, with a partner you enjoy dancing with
or1 dance once a week?

NTV

If one hogs one gorgeous lady for over an hour and half - what does that mean :wink: :blush:

Msfab
27th-June-2006, 08:06 PM
If one hogs one gorgeous lady for over an hour and half - what does that mean :wink: :blush:
Err.. you really enjoy dancing together :whistle: Nothing wrong in that!

Ive been guilty of this at a few weekends or special party night!:innocent:

spindr
27th-June-2006, 08:34 PM
If one hogs one gorgeous lady for over an hour and half - what does that mean :wink: :blush:
She's obviously extremely patient :)
SpinDr

Twirly
27th-June-2006, 09:38 PM
So a question for the ladies: Which would you prefer:
4 dances every 6 weeks, with a partner you enjoy dancing with
or1 dance once a week?

Depends on whether there are enough men to go around on the evenings I can't dance with you! If I have to stand there with no-one to dance with for 5 weeks watching everyone else have a good time, I think I'd probably give up :(

WittyBird
27th-June-2006, 09:51 PM
If one hogs one gorgeous lady for over an hour and half - what does that mean :wink: :blush:

I'll let you find out next time we meet :rofl:

Lory
27th-June-2006, 10:22 PM
... trying to please :wink: as many ladies as possible :Exhausted:

Hmm a difficult choice.... please the majority of the ladies or please yourself? :cool:

So a question for the ladies: Which would you prefer:
4 dances every 6 weeks, with a partner you enjoy dancing with
or 1 dance once a week?
4 dances EVERY week :devil: :D


If one hogs one gorgeous lady for over an hour and half - what does that mean :wink: :blush:
Your having a good time? :wink:

LMC
28th-June-2006, 08:17 AM
If one hogs one gorgeous lady for over an hour and half - what does that mean :wink: :blush:
You like dancing with her? :innocent:

If I was really enjoying dancing with someone I'd be extremely happy to be hogged whether I fancied them or not* - but they would have to ask me or make it very clear that they wanted to continue, I'm only just starting to venture to ask for second dances occasionally. I'd try not to make a habit of hogging someone though :blush:

*Especially if there were too many women there that night (yep, I'm selfish :D).

marty_baby
28th-June-2006, 11:00 AM
Interesting Chit chat! :nice:


I dunno, but from my dancing point of view - I'd say 2 dances normally.

The 1st would be to get to know each other's lead/follow. A "try and bomb out" with a few moves maybe, but mainly getting in the zone.

The 2nd would be to a bit more adventurous. Breaks, poses, bit of a play around.... erm... and a "try and bomb out" with a few moves maybe! :rofl:


Martin :hug:

Phil
28th-June-2006, 03:27 PM
Two dances are ok
Three dances are greedy!

Donna
28th-June-2006, 03:38 PM
Two dances are ok
Three dances are greedy!


Well, I'll be sure not to ask you for a third then!!! :wink:

Lucy Locket
28th-June-2006, 03:46 PM
I remember 2 dances in a row being the norm sometimes 3, now it tends to be only 1. Just as you get into the swing of dancing with someone the music changes & off he goes.
If i'm dancing with a new guy i 'use' the first dance to get a feel for how he leads etc. the 2nd dance is always much better. The same goes for someone you haven't danced with in a while, the first dance is a refresher. The 2nd dance is great.
Why don't you guys ask for a 2nd dance anymore??????????
I find i'm usually the one who asks.
Errrrrrrrr is 1 dance only a hint:whistle:
Pleeeeeeeeeease 2 dances.

robd
28th-June-2006, 04:00 PM
Lucy, save me 2 for Daventry please!

This is a tricky area (at least it is if something as inconsequential in the wider scheme of things as the number of consecutive dances should be described as 'tricky'). I'll vary it up but don't think I have ever exceeded 4 on the trot with same lady (g/f excepted). I have sometimes had 7 or 8 dances in the same night with certain people but these tend to be split across 2 to 3 sessions.

OTOH there are times when there are so many people in a venue who I wish to dance with and who I might see quite rarely that I try and get around as many as possible and in doing so have very few second dances.

Robert

foxylady
30th-June-2006, 06:46 PM
I love having more than one dance, but I don't like to impose so I'll always give the guy space to ask again or leave as he sees fit (except Jammy who I just hang on to until he prises me off :yum: )...

However this poses its own dilemma.. If the guy is waiting for the girl to ask and the girl is waiting for the guy to ask you end up having only one because you are both being too polite !!!

At Southport I had three (or was it four) in a row with someone I'd not danced with before called Christopher, and he didn't actually ask me if I wanted another he just held on tight... it was :drool: :drool: :drool: ....

Ooh and at the BFG Mr Fitz asked me for a second dance by leading me into an embrace at the end of the track (like a basket but me in front of him - don't know what you call it), and then whispering in my ear "Don't go"..... again :drool: :drool: :drool:


sigh

Foxy