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View Full Version : Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?



DavidB
16th-May-2002, 12:29 PM
I think it's good that the leaders have said they are all looking for different things in a dance. If we all wanted the same thing, it would get pretty boring.

So Ladies - what are you looking for in a dance?

Janet
16th-May-2002, 07:06 PM
If you could add a fifth option to your poll which reads:

All of the above

then you would definitely get my vote.

Not that I am hard to please or anything! :wink:

Janet

filthycute
16th-May-2002, 07:17 PM
The one i would choose isn't up there.

I just want someone who's having great fun :D
i could choose any of the mentioned, but without a huge (possibly silly looking :yum: ) smile they would all be dissapointing.

filthycute x x

DavidB
17th-May-2002, 01:15 AM
Originally posted by Janet
All of the aboveYou can vote for more than one option. But if you all vote for all of them, we men are no better off. I really wanted to let you rank them in order of importance to you, but I couldn't see any way of doing it.

As for smiling - this will have to do... :grin:

David

John S
17th-May-2002, 01:40 PM
Originally posted by filthycute
The one i would choose isn't up there.

I just want someone who's having great fun :D
i could choose any of the mentioned, but without a huge (possibly silly looking :yum: ) smile they would all be dissapointing.

filthycute x x

I think fc is right - there can be few things more disheartening than dancing with someone who looks as if they've got toothache, or whose eyes are all over the dancefloor sussing out the next dance partner. :( On the (fortunately rare) occasions that has happened to me, I've been desperate for the music to end - and I do understand that if my partner isn't enjoying it then it could be my fault :(

But if both partners are out to have fun, then even (or sometimes especially) if the moves go horribly wrong then it's enjoyable. :)

Franck is always emphasising the need to smile, and as long as it's natural (ie not a fixed grimace) then it works for me. :) :)

Janet
17th-May-2002, 02:35 PM
Originally posted by DavidB
You can vote for more than one option. But if you all vote for all of them, we men are no better off.

Hi David,

Yes, you are right.

What I really like in a dance is a SURPRISE. :what:

Let me explain.
This doesn't need to be anything fancy and depends a lot on my partner. (I know this is not very helpful.)
Dancing with a beginner it could be that they suddenly get the beat of the music or remember another move or find that they can actually smile without completely forgetting to dance (BTW that doesn't only apply to beginners :p ).

It could be a new move from a partner who hasn't changed their routine in 6 months, or a good lead which hits a break in the music. :waycool:

Obviously, if all your poll options come together in one dance then it is fantastic :D (some might say miraculous :wink: ) but a surprise or two is enough in most cases.

I have to say though, that I empathise all too well with filthycute's comments on another thread about men not including new moves in their routine. As a lady, it is extremely frustrating learning 4 new moves per class - could be several hundred a year, depending on how regularly you dance - and being lucky if you ever dance a handful of them again. That is why I find it so rewarding to travel to new venues and dance with new partners - then everything is a surprise. :nice:

Janet

Stuart M
20th-May-2002, 09:32 AM
Originally posted by Janet

What I really like in a dance is a SURPRISE. :what:

Let me explain.
This doesn't need to be anything fancy and depends a lot on my partner. (I know this is not very helpful.)

I think it is helpful - "Surprise Janet at Ceroc" is now on my To Do list. However, I can't think of good ways to surprise partners, other than a handful of moves (e.g. the lady-spin where you reverse the spin half-way through), and they're not too popular I have found. Maybe a subject worthy of a new thread?


Originally posted by Janet

...or find that they can actually smile without completely forgetting to dance (BTW that doesn't only apply to beginners :p ).

Guilty as charged, m'lud!:sorry

DavidB
20th-May-2002, 11:39 AM
Originally posted by Janet
I have to say though, that I empathise all too well with filthycute's comments on another thread about men not including new moves... I do try doing new moves. But: I only tend to do moves that feel comfortable to me. For example, I can't do any moves where my arm is supposed to go behind my shoulder, because my arms don't!
I only do moves that I think I can lead. For me this rules out any moves that rely on a signal, other than the very basic ones (neck break, pretzel, etc).
I don't do drops (too dangerous)
I don't do travelling moves (no room)
I only do moves I like.Unfortunately that rules out 50% of the moves I seem to get taught. But I will try the other 50% if I can remember them

... in their routine.How many men do a routine? I don't consciously do one, but I know I have my favourite moves or links. I hope it doesn't feel like a routine.:sorry

David

Franck
21st-May-2002, 01:02 PM
I am surprised that only 4 women have answered the poll :sad:
It is not hard really , all you need to do is click in a couple of boxes and then on the "vote" button :wink: :what:
Once you have done that, you have the option to post and explain your views...
So far nothing too controversial.

Being a woman can be quite limited while dancing, you are bound by the man's abilities and experience. However, as a result, the pressure is on for the guys :sick:

Remember to introduce new moves, do all the moves well, lead expertly, think ahead and match moves to the music, throw in a few surprises for good measure, look good in Black & white shoes, do not sweat too much, SMILE, make eye contact, remember that footwork, watch for the other couple and potential clashes, what was that move in the Intermediate class again? , Oh no,how do I get out of the Armjive again? Am I still dancing to the right beat? , Is my partner still smiling?, Woah - that record is faster/longer than I thought, Ouch - nails / glitter / pony-tail, etc, phew - made it to the end of the record with a nice seducer finish, now who is my next partner so I can try again...

Who said Ceroc was easy again? :wink:

I think I need a drink or three :cheers:

Franck.

filthycute
21st-May-2002, 04:18 PM
Remember to introduce new moves, do all the moves well, lead expertly, think ahead and match moves to the music, throw in a few surprises for good measure, look good in Black & white shoes, do not sweat too much, SMILE, make eye contact, remember that footwork, watch for the other couple and potential clashes, what was that move in the Intermediate class again? , Oh no,how do I get out of the Armjive again? Am I still dancing to the right beat? , Is my partner still smiling?, Woah - that record is faster/longer than I thought, Ouch - nails / glitter / pony-tail, etc, phew - made it to the end of the record with a nice seducer finish, now who is my next partner so I can try again...

Who is this man???......Franck, could you point him out to me the next time you see him?? :wink: :D

filthycute x x

DavidB
21st-May-2002, 05:31 PM
What I should be thinking when I dance: What dances does she know?
What dance should I do to this music?
Lets try a different start?
Is it a 12-bar blues rhythm, or a standard 8-bar pop song.
Does she like spinning?
Interesting rhythm - can I do anything with it?
She didn't follow that. Make sure you lead it properly next time.
Have I done that move before?
Did I do it the same way?
What did she just do - that was cute?
What beat was that break on?
Is there room to do that move?
End of the phrase coming up - I'll just extend that move and it should fit in nicely.
It's too slow/quick for that move - don't do it again.
It's getting crowded, so keep it small.
There must be another break coming up - what can I do?
Can't do a comb any more - my neck is sweating too much.
It's the chorus, so no breaks.
Cute move time - think of one *quick*.
Another break, so keep it simple.
It's that interesting rhythm again - if I do the same thing again, she might catch on.
That's the third time I've done that move - don't do it again.
This sounds like Latin - try something different like salsa.
Lets see if she likes improvising - gives me a rest for a couple of bars.
She's getting used to me - time for a change.
Still a good connection. Wonder if she can follow shoulder and back leads?
Oops. I didn't mean to do that. Make it look like I lead it.
End coming up - make sure she doesn't do a drop.
Say thank you, or ask for another dance.
What I end up thinking: Absolutely nothing.
I cannot even remember what moves I've done.

Sorry ladies.

David

Heather
21st-May-2002, 08:21 PM
:wink: Well done Filthycute!!!! You have sussed out how to do the quote thingy!!! (Maybe you can explain it to me on Wednesday?):confused:

Jayne
22nd-May-2002, 12:40 PM
Hi David,

Interesting thinking process going on there - do you really think that the average man would ever achieve that much thought in three minutes? Let alone in combination with dancing!

I was also impressed that there wasn't a reference to sex in there - surely this should happen at least once in three minutes! :wink:

Jayne :nice:

DavidB
22nd-May-2002, 12:48 PM
Originally posted by Jayne
I was also impressed that there wasn't a reference to sex in there - surely this should happen at least once in three minutes!Well partner dancing is sometimes described as the vertical expression of horizontal desire - by that definition we're thinking about it all the time.:devil:

Franck
22nd-May-2002, 01:57 PM
Originally posted by Jayne
Hi David,

Interesting thinking process going on there - do you really think that the average man would ever achieve that much thought in three minutes? Let alone in combination with dancing!

I was also impressed that there wasn't a reference to sex in there - surely this should happen at least once in three minutes! :wink: Trust you to bring the tone of the conversation down :wink:
Anyway, the above was pretty much what can go through my head during a dance, not all of it and not always of course, sometimes I even talk to my partner, or simply relax in a dance...
As for your other point :wink: every 3 minutes??? Really unlikely :really: Too busy working out the above to think of anything else.

Franck.

Minnie M
18th-May-2004, 11:59 AM
Originally posted by DavidB
Can't do a comb any more - my neck is sweating too much.


YUK YUK YUK:angry: Why do men do this - then where do you wipe your wet hand :tears:

Good pole :flower:

Men/leads always seem to think they need lots of clever moves for their partner to enjoy the dance - this pole will prove otherwise :clap:

DavidB is one of the few dancers that ALL us followers (especialy the ladies) LOVE :drool: dancing with, so note his comments :wink:

Also note Franck's comments, he is not only a great lead but he is so much fun to dance with :drool: :grin: :kiss: :hug:

Foofs
18th-May-2004, 01:28 PM
Originally posted by Minnie M
Also note Franck's comments, he is not only a great lead but he is so much fun to dance with :drool: :grin: :kiss: :hug:

:yeah: :worthy:

DangerousCurves
18th-May-2004, 07:59 PM
Originally posted by Minnie M
Men/leads always seem to think they need lots of clever moves for their partner to enjoy the dance - this pole will prove otherwise :clap:


I agree wholeheartedly with Minnie - and with FilthyCute's earlier posting.

I really don't mind if the chap only knows a couple of moves, so long as he looks like he's happy to be dancing them with me!

Conversely, I don't like it at all if the gentleman doesn't view the dance as a joint adventure... and leads without regard to the lady. By this I mean the chaps who lead you forceably into the next horrendously complicated move when you're still on the wrong foot from the move before, or who sigh or grimace when you fail to decipher an incomprehensible lead (the "limp lettuce" hand signalling a spin is a particular horror for me, by the time you realise what its supposed to signify you have no momentum left to accomplish the spin!). They seem much more focused on showing off how many moves they know, than actually ENJOYING them with someone.

At Southport at the weekend, during one of Mikey's classes, he explained to the gents very carefully where their weight had to be for a move, and which foot their lady's weight would be on as she moved, so that they could time a sequence properly without pulling her off balance. This lead to a discussion between me and some friends about how useful it would be to have a "gents' lead class" to make chaps more aware of simple things like that, which make the difference between a lovely dance and an experience more like tag-team wrestling! Just not sure how many chaps would be interested.....? :devil:

Daisy
18th-May-2004, 11:06 PM
Originally posted by Jayne
Hi David,

do you really think that the average man would ever achieve that much thought in three minutes? Let alone in combination with dancing!

I was also impressed that there wasn't a reference to sex in there - surely this should happen at least once in three minutes! :wink: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :whistle:

ChrisA
19th-May-2004, 12:22 AM
Originally posted by DangerousCurves
Just not sure how many chaps would be interested [in a gents' leading class].....? :devil: Just the ones that don't need it, probably :tears:

Chris

Gary
19th-May-2004, 06:48 AM
Originally posted by ChrisA
Just the ones that don't need it, probably :tears:

Chris

Well I'd be interested, so thank you, I guess :whistle:

Magic Hans
19th-May-2004, 10:07 AM
Originally posted by DangerousCurves

This lead to a discussion between me and some friends about how useful it would be to have a "gents' lead class" to make chaps more aware of simple things like that, which make the difference between a lovely dance and an experience more like tag-team wrestling! Just not sure how many chaps would be interested.....? :devil:


:yeah: .... I totally agree!! ... Had I had the opportunity to pick up some lead/follow tips and practice, it may well have taken me less than about the 5 years to become a confident (competent?) lead. Natural 'leads' (those generally with a more outgoing nature) might not benefit so much from this. Natural 'follows' certainly would. Conversely, natural 'lead' ladies might also find it useful.

Best way (imho) to pick it up is to do both lead and follow .... with a number of partners, seeing what/who does/doesn't work. As lead/follow depends as much on partnerships as it does on technique and method.

In fact, lead/follow does not even need music (though any would help create a framework) ... and (I believe) strike parallels with personal leadership/following which we do every do of our lives!!!

I've only ever had on teacher go through lead and follow with swapping roles and partners. This was with argentine (not ballroom) tango .

Debster
20th-May-2004, 05:52 AM
Originally posted by Jayne
I was also impressed that there wasn't a reference to sex in there - surely this should happen at least once in three minutes! :wink:

David did preface that with 'what he should be thinking about' ! :wink: But an excellent observation Jayne none-the-less :D

For the gents out there... I voted for musical interpretation alone. Probably the hardest of all for guys to do. However, it is what I am really hoping for in a dance.

It does cover all the other options too though really. It encompasses any type of moves, simple or difficult, it won't work unless it is led well (I don't need anyone's permission to do my own thing within the realms of what has been led), and it means the guy is interested in dancing with me, he doesn't have time to look around for the next dancer, nor is there enough time to think about anything but what is going on right there in that moment.

Total immersion, lost in the music and the connection with another soul. Gotta love it! :drool:

How demanding of me hey?? Bet you guys are glad I'm not around now knowing that I expect so much... ;)

Groovy Dancer
20th-May-2004, 01:13 PM
How demanding of me hey?? Bet you guys are glad I'm not around now knowing that I expect so much... ;) Well that's definitely not true:tears:
I think a lady that demands alot in her dance gives the lead an incentive , to be really creative and have a good time.

So Debs ..are you back anytime soon?:rofl: :flower:

Lory
20th-May-2004, 01:21 PM
Originally posted by Groovy Dancer
and have a good time.


Groovy Dancer, Am i allowed to say, I like it when we have our sing-a- longs? :grin: :hug:

linda
20th-May-2004, 06:27 PM
Originally posted by Stuart M
However, I can't think of good ways to surprise partners,

Stuart.... you're always surprising:wink: :wink: and a pleasure to dance with:flower:

Linda
:hug:

linda
20th-May-2004, 06:29 PM
Originally posted by filthycute
Who is this man???......Franck, could you point him out to me the next time you see him?? :wink: :D

filthycute x x

Now Melanie!! It's Franck of course:wink:

Linda :hug:

Groovy Dancer
20th-May-2004, 07:24 PM
Originally posted by Lory
Groovy Dancer, Am i allowed to say, I like it when we have our sing-a- longs? :grin: :hug:


I look forward to our next sing-song:flower:
and you can choose the tune too:whistle: :hug:

Stuart M
20th-May-2004, 07:43 PM
Originally posted by Stuart M
However, I can't think of good ways to surprise partners,


Originally posted by linda
Stuart.... you're always surprising:wink: :wink: and a pleasure to dance with:flower:

Linda
:hug:
Aw, c'mon linda, I said that 2 years ago (exactly 2 years ago funnily enough)!

Like, I've managed to think of, emm, at least 3 ways to surprise partners since then - and not all of them involve legwear (gets obligatory trouser gag out the way)

Besides I can't always be surprising, cos then I'd never be surprising if you see what I mean :grin:

Lory
21st-May-2004, 12:20 AM
Originally posted by Groovy Dancer
I look forward to our next sing-song:flower:
and you can choose the tune too:whistle: :hug:
Lets get LOUD? :wink: :rofl:

Groovy Dancer
21st-May-2004, 01:22 PM
Originally posted by Lory
Lets get LOUD? :wink: :rofl:

Hey Ya!!:clap: :yeah: :hug:

David Franklin
21st-May-2004, 01:38 PM
Originally posted by Groovy Dancer
Hey Ya!!:clap: :yeah: :hug:
So, you wanna' be startin' something? :devil:

Groovy Dancer
21st-May-2004, 01:42 PM
Originally posted by David Franklin
So, you wanna' be startin' something? :devil:


Got to 'be starting' something!:clap: :rofl: :waycool:

Jive Brummie
21st-May-2004, 11:35 PM
Originally posted by Groovy Dancer
Got to 'be starting' something!:clap: :rofl: :waycool:

Nice picture...........couldn't see the crown though........

(scurries off in obediant non-regal mode)

JB (servant):wink:

under par
22nd-May-2004, 12:07 AM
Originally posted by Groovy Dancer
Got to 'be starting' something!:clap: :rofl: :waycool:

Isn't this a lyric from M jackson???


Nice photo groovy!!!:blush:

Andy McGregor
22nd-May-2004, 01:42 AM
Originally posted by under par
Isn't this a lyric from M jackson???


Nice photo groovy!!!:blush:

I would just like to confess to Mr Par that while he was in here rabbiting away I was out with his wife dancing in Hove - and we both loved it:devil:

under par
22nd-May-2004, 02:10 AM
Originally posted by Andy McGregor
I would just like to confess to Mr Par that while he was in here rabbiting away I was out with his wife dancing in Hove - and we both loved it:devil:

Wish I could have been there Andy but the call of duty means I occasionally have to miss out on these big nights.:angry: :angry:

Mrs Par said she had a great time, didn't mention you though!!!:whistle:

please pass :hug: :hug: to Sue

Andy McGregor
22nd-May-2004, 09:01 AM
Originally posted by under par
Mrs Par said she had a great time, didn't mention you though!!!:whistle:

She knows you're a sensitive flower:flower: Our wives know we don't like to hear we're second best:devil:

Rougeforever
22nd-May-2004, 09:26 AM
As a beginner -

I like:

Someone smiling when they ask me to dance.
Someone who leads gently, even when my following is rubbish - just because I get it wrong doesn't mean you need to heave and haul me through moves - give me a chance !
Someone who smiles during the dance and makes face contact ....
(I have a friend who dances who is just so shy he can't possibly look a lady in the eye when he is leading her - I've told him that he MUST at least look at her face - even if he can't make eye-contact - otherwise it's like dancing with someone who is just using you as a prop to their own dance)
Someone who will use slightly unfamilliar moves with me to try and vary the dance (I've never been taught the hatchback, but a few men have led it successfully with me).
Someone who can see when I am horrifically out of breath or am flagging and will lead smaller (or less demanding) moves. I never try to let on - but I'm sure most people flag at some point in the evening - particularly after the kind of days I have !
Someone who leads clearly. Being a beginner - I tend to dance with beginners and less experienced men (all you advanced dancers dance with each other !) so when I dance with someone with a clear lead I am filled with happiness.
:flower:

Andy McGregor
22nd-May-2004, 09:52 AM
Originally posted by Rougeforever
Someone who leads clearly. Being a beginner - I tend to dance with beginners and less experienced men (all you advanced dancers dance with each other !) so when I dance with someone with a clear lead I am filled with happiness.
:flower:

I think this does happen: but it's not because advanced dancers don't want to dance with beginners. Dancers, advanced or otherwise, dance with the people that ask them. And it requires a certain level of bravery to ask someone you don't know: this results in people asking their friends more often than people they don't know. Advanced dancers have been dancing for ages and know the other advanced dancers - so they ask them more.

My solution is to ask everyone in the room, that way you get to dance with advanced dancers but, by asking beginners, you also get to know them so it's easier to ask them when they become advanced dancers.

The answer, Rougeforever, is to ask the advanced dancers if you want them to dance with you. They will say 'yes please' and smile - probably:flower:

Speaking personally, they don't always smile, sometimes they have a look of fear: but I think they're just pretending:wink:

Simon r
22nd-May-2004, 10:48 AM
The answer, Rougeforever, is to ask the advanced dancers if you want them to dance with you. They will say 'yes please' and smile - probably:flower:

Speaking personally, they don't always smile, sometimes they have a look of fear: but I think they're just pretending:wink: [/B][/QUOTE]

:yeah:

I love dancing with beginers ,intermediate but just as i get there they run away...:confused:

Rougeforever
22nd-May-2004, 11:33 AM
Originally posted by Andy McGregor

The answer, Rougeforever, is to ask the advanced dancers if you want them to dance with you. They will say 'yes please' and smile - probably:flower:


You're absolutely right, and I agree with you :grin:

There is this one wonderful dancer who I have been trying to build up the courage to ask to dance at Solihull for a couple of months - but I'm so worried about being such a horrific novice that I'm actually scared to ask.

You need to meet me away from the dance floor to understand how out of character that is for me.

You know how there are shy people who gain more confidence by dancing...? I'm a confident person made shy by dancing.

But of course, you're right. Not only are some of them wonderful dancers, but they're charming people too.

Damn this self-doubt !

Andy McGregor
22nd-May-2004, 02:01 PM
Originally posted by Rougeforever
There is this one wonderful dancer who I have been trying to build up the courage to ask to dance at Solihull for a couple of months - but I'm so worried about being such a horrific novice that I'm actually scared to ask.


Hearken to the word of Eleanor Roosevelt:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"


And here are the words of Andy:

It's only dancing: not even slightly serious: so don't take it seriously

linda
22nd-May-2004, 03:21 PM
Originally posted by Stuart M
Aw, c'mon linda, I said that 2 years ago (exactly 2 years ago funnily enough)!

Besides I can't always be surprising, cos then I'd never be surprising if you see what I mean :grin:

Sorry Stuart:blush: But I was a beginner 2 years ago and thought the 'forum' was something from the Roman empire!!:really:
Not always surprising?.... well.... you've always got a twinkle in your eye:wink: and a cheeky wee grin on your face:wink: so I always wonder what's coming next!:wink: :flower:

Linda
:hug:

Lory
11th-August-2004, 09:54 AM
Last night I had the most amazingly strange dance.

This guy asked me to dance, he danced perfectly in time to the music, executing all the moves correctly, not even dancing in circles but it was all very robotic (not in the cool sense) like he had been programmed, he didn't look at me once, keeping a very serious face, despite my attempts to catch his eye and smile a couple of times, I actually started to look for where the batteries went in! :what:

At the end of the dance I couldn't resist asking him... Are you having fun? :D He looked extremely startled and looked at me as if I was mad! And replied in a very assertive manor YES! then he walked off, looking totally bemused! :confused:
I had to giggle to myself, if that's him having FUN, I'd hate to see him when he's not! :rofl:

I really can't work out what people like that get out of an evening?? Any clues anybody? :rolleyes:

MartinHarper
11th-August-2004, 10:56 AM
I expect he gets the same things out of it that everyone else does. :) Chances are he was just concentrating on getting the dance right. We can't all be extroverts, thankfully.

Tiggerbabe
11th-August-2004, 11:12 AM
I really can't work out what people like that get out of an evening?? Any clues anybody? :rolleyes:
Bit harsh Lory, as Martin says maybe he was just concentrating - or maybe he's been plucking up courage to ask you to dance for ages and fancies you like crazy - couldn't believe his luck that you accepted and spent the next 3 minutes trying to dazzle you......... :drool:

Maybe something awful has happened in his life and that was the first time he's ventured out for ages.

Who knows? Could be a multitude of reasons that he didn't smile as much as you would have liked but it really doesn't have to mean he wasn't enjoying himself.

:hug: :kiss: :flower:

Lory
11th-August-2004, 12:09 PM
Bit harsh Lory,
AWWWW Sheena, :tears: I can assure you I was perfectly lovely to him :innocent: and he will be none the wiser to how I felt! ;)

and I bet he asks me again next week if he's there! :wink: after all, when I asked him if he was having fun, he said YES! :eek: :rofl:

Tiggerbabe
11th-August-2004, 12:17 PM
and he will be none the wiser to how I felt! ;)

Unless he's one of our many browsers eh? :wink: :whistle: :D
I'm sure you were lovely to him Lory, it was the "people like that" comment I thought was a bit harsh :hug: :kiss: :flower:

Lory
11th-August-2004, 12:23 PM
it was the "people like that" comment I thought was a bit harsh :hug: :kiss: :flower:Wrong choice of words in hindsight! :rolleyes: :flower:

bradders
11th-August-2004, 02:10 PM
There is this one wonderful dancer who I have been trying to build up the courage to ask to dance at Solihull for a couple of months - but I'm so worried about being such a horrific novice that I'm actually scared to ask.



Just remember that as a Lady you can't do anything wrong...if you don't go in the desired direction or misinterpret anything the man is trying to do then, guess what, it is HIS fault for not being a good enough STRONG BUT GENTLE lead. So relax, smile and go ask the guy to dance!!

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to ones courage (anais nin)

Yogi_Bear
11th-August-2004, 04:52 PM
Last night I had the most amazingly strange dance.

This guy asked me to dance, he danced perfectly in time to the music, executing all the moves correctly, not even dancing in circles but it was all very robotic (not in the cool sense) like he had been programmed, he didn't look at me once, keeping a very serious face, despite my attempts to catch his eye and smile a couple of times, I actually started to look for where the batteries went in! :what:

At the end of the dance I couldn't resist asking him... Are you having fun? :D He looked extremely startled and looked at me as if I was mad! And replied in a very assertive manor YES! then he walked off, looking totally bemused! :confused:
I had to giggle to myself, if that's him having FUN, I'd hate to see him when he's not! :rofl:

I really can't work out what people like that get out of an evening?? Any clues anybody? :rolleyes:
In my frequent sessions of observing other dancers I've seen the phenomenon in both men and women and wondered the same as you. I'm not sure whether or not it comes down to the way MJ is often taught or not, but probably more due to personalities. I may not always practice what I preach, but my approach is often to concentrate on the contact and enjoyment at the expense of the accuracy and followability of what I am doing. Usually that works well - but not always...
yb

mick
12th-August-2004, 03:03 PM
As a beginner -

I like:

Someone smiling when they ask me to dance.
Someone who leads gently, even when my following is rubbish - just because I get it wrong doesn't mean you need to heave and haul me through moves - give me a chance !
Someone who smiles during the dance and makes face contact ....
(I have a friend who dances who is just so shy he can't possibly look a lady in the eye when he is leading her - I've told him that he MUST at least look at her face - even if he can't make eye-contact - otherwise it's like dancing with someone who is just using you as a prop to their own dance)
Someone who will use slightly unfamilliar moves with me to try and vary the dance (I've never been taught the hatchback, but a few men have led it successfully with me).
Someone who can see when I am horrifically out of breath or am flagging and will lead smaller (or less demanding) moves. I never try to let on - but I'm sure most people flag at some point in the evening - particularly after the kind of days I have !
Someone who leads clearly. Being a beginner - I tend to dance with beginners and less experienced men (all you advanced dancers dance with each other !) so when I dance with someone with a clear lead I am filled with happiness.
:flower:

When dancing with someone I dont know, I am never sure how much eye contact to make, or to do close moves. I hear stories from women friends about pervy or suggestive men, so I perhaps err too much on the side of caution.

Yogi_Bear
12th-August-2004, 04:10 PM
I normally find that there is a mutual process of adjustment fairly early on, in which either partner can increase or decrease the amount of intimacy until an level is reached that both are comfortable with. Basically the chemistry is right or it isn't. But in any event it is quite straightforward to make your partner feel involved without making them uncomfortable with the intimacy. Almost anything's better than dancing on autopilot and ignoring your partner altogether... :nice:

Whitebeard
14th-August-2004, 10:34 PM
..... dancing on autopilot ......

Oh gawd, how I wish I could do that !!!!

The smiles would be radiant.

Magic Hans
15th-August-2004, 09:58 PM
...

Maybe something awful has happened in his life and that was the first time he's ventured out for ages.

Who knows? Could be a multitude of reasons that he didn't smile as much as you would have liked but it really doesn't have to mean he wasn't enjoying himself.

:hug: :kiss: :flower:


Let me guess ..... errrrrr ..... you're a social worker! Right?

Seriously, it's great to find people who look beyond the exterior, giving the benefit of the doubt. I try to do the same. Sometimes it helps me, and gives me an insight .... sometimes nothing!! [Probably need to change my wavelength or something!]

Tiggerbabe
15th-August-2004, 10:13 PM
Let me guess ..... errrrrr ..... you're a social worker! Right?

Nope! :na: Not even close :D

mick
16th-October-2004, 11:48 AM
see
http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showpost.php?p=86892&postcount=39

Little Monkey
17th-October-2004, 08:43 PM
Dancing, for me, is meant to be FUN! If people take it too seriously, it looses some of the appeal....

What I look for in a dance is:
- Lots of smiles :nice:
- Eye contact
- A good lead (better with few and easy moves that are lead well, than a whole lot of very fancy moves that aren't lead correctly!)
- A partner who is actually dancing WITH ME, paying attention to how well I can follow his lead, trying not to send me crashing into other dancers, doesn't do dips / drops without knowing I'm comfortable with them, and not just concentrating on how cool HE is looking on the dance floor!

I have danced with people who are tecnically very good dancers, but make me feel like I'm not "part of the dance", just some kind of prop, and it's not a nice feeling. These dancers all seem to be in the "taking it too seriously" category, and very often don't look like they're having fun at all! :(

So guys, if you want to dance with me, expect a lot of giggles and silly behaviour, 'cus I just dance for the fun of it!! :D :clap: :rofl:

Monkey

Tazmanian Devil
21st-October-2004, 06:42 PM
I am always looking for fun in a dance, Wether the dance is with a beginner, or an advanced dancer. When dancing with an advanced dancer the most important aspects to me are music interpretation, eye contact, and having a enjoyable dance :nice: when dancing with a beginner the most important thing is that we both have fun and the newcomer goes away happy to ask me for a dance again. :wink:

drathzel
21st-October-2004, 06:44 PM
I have danced with people who are tecnically very good dancers, but make me feel like I'm not "part of the dance", just some kind of prop, and it's not a nice feeling. These dancers all seem to be in the "taking it too seriously" category, and very often don't look like they're having fun at all! :(

So guys, if you want to dance with me, expect a lot of giggles and silly behaviour, 'cus I just dance for the fun of it!! :D :clap: :rofl:

Monkey
:yeah:

I am in agreement with you! i like to be able to do the moves etc but what is most important to me is having fun!!!

Whitebeard
21st-October-2004, 07:36 PM
:yeah:

I am in agreement with you! i like to be able to do the moves etc but what is most important to me is having fun!!!
Where's your funny bone then???

Foofs
15th-November-2004, 06:59 PM
Having been away for a while and then dancing on Saturday, I've got a clearer idea (somehow) of what I like about dancing with someone:
1. eye contact
2. smile
3. a leader

Not too much I know (!) :what: but the first two shouldn't cost much and the last thing comes with practice. But I'm willing to be practised on i.e. I do NOT mind doing the same 2/3/4 moves over and over again in the same dance.

However, there are some instances where the dance just 'happens' and I don't know the reason, e.g. on Saturday I had a very hot "Fever" with Baldrick (thank you very much :flower: ) but it wasn't just one or two things that made that a great dance - it just was!! :clap:

P.S. Paul - it is always a pleasure and I look forward to being taken advantage of again very soon. :hug: :kiss:

johnthehappyguy
18th-January-2005, 03:19 PM
I am surprised that only 4 women have answered the poll :sad:
It is not hard really , all you need to do is click in a couple of boxes and then on the "vote" button :wink: :what:

Once you have done that, you have the option to post and explain your views...


Franck.


Ladies, it has been nearly three years since Franck posted this, and there have now been a few more responses. :wink:

I really want to improve my dancing, so come on, especially you hidden browsers who do not post much.

Please, please,please, can you give us blokes some idea of what you are looking for in a dance.

I have been chatting to a few ladies about what makes a pleasurable dance for them, and have been getting responses like :-


"When I come out of a spin if the man is facing me that really helps."

or " make sure you finish one move before starting the next one"

or "keep your arm low enough for me when blocking on the yo-yo so I do not overbalance"

I would really welcome , and so would lots of other blokes, any contributions about whatever things you like, whether your desires are simple or complex, then please post them anyway.

:cheers:

johnthehappyguy :nice:

cheeks
18th-January-2005, 04:25 PM
I really want to improve my dancing, so come on, especially you hidden browsers who do not post much.

As one of those I thought I had better post....... :blush:

I enjoy dancing and agree having fun! there is nothing worse than being asked to dance and the whole time being so nervous that you miss leads and feel that you are just there to allow the man to show off his new moves.....not that this has happened often.

I spent some time thinking back to when i first started dancing last year and it really all came down to a partner who was a enjoying the music, a good lead and having fun........... :clap:
I then feel comfortable asking them to practise a move with me ,or improvising, I always remember one gentlemen I danced with on my first or second week, now to me he is a great dancer and a lovely guy with a wicked sense of humour he would always say "there's not such a thing as a mistake if no-one else noticed" :worthy: to this day I know it was me missing a lead through not having learnt the move but I think because your able to have a laugh and both improvise whats the fuss, :wink:




"When I come out of a spin if the man is facing me that really helps."

or " make sure you finish one move before starting the next one"

Both of these are pet hates, all it does is makes the woman feel unimportant! :(


A good dance needs two things to start-both a good leader and a good follower then when mixed with good music good dance floor and lots of great fun!

Thats the recipe for A GREAT DANCE!!!! :hug: :clap:

MartinHarper
18th-January-2005, 04:27 PM
" make sure you finish one move before starting the next one"

What does this mean?

cheeks
18th-January-2005, 04:45 PM
Sometimes you find it happens that after being lead into a spin your partner has begun leading the next move without even allowing you to complete you spin, allow your feet meet the floor or transfer either your weight onto opposite foot for next move.

Jooles
18th-January-2005, 05:05 PM
I agree with all those who say smiling and having fun is what is important in a dance. I find as a general rule, the better the dancer, the more likely he is to laugh if you get a move wrong. Or maybe it's just that the dance has been so much more enjoyable because you were having fun and therefore you think you've just been whisked around the dance floor by a dance god.

My pet hate is guys who are quite rude or sarcastic when you make a mistake. I know it must be REALLY hard to lead, but sometimes it is REALLY hard to follow and when you make a mistake and you get a sarcastic comment, I just want to walk off the dance floor.

Mind you, a few guys have told me that women can be equally rude when they get a move wrong, which I find amazing. I can honestly say the only time I get cross (on the dance floor) is when a man tries to do a drop that he is obviously not experienced enough to try yet. Or, the other day, when I bumped into somebody elses partner and tried to apologise only to be told not to apologise by my own partner because it was their own fault.

Gadget
18th-January-2005, 06:00 PM
Sometimes you find it happens that after being lead into a spin your partner has begun leading the next move without even allowing you to complete you spin, allow your feet meet the floor or transfer either your weight onto opposite foot for next move.
Aaah... Personally I would say that this is "Rushing" a move. The way it was put earlier sounded like you were against the blending of two moves, rather than the actual execution of the 'blend'.

Commis Chef
18th-January-2005, 07:11 PM
Whoops posted this twice so deleted one! I am blond!

Commis Chef
18th-January-2005, 07:13 PM
It is very easy to immediately think of all those things that I don't want in a dance but not so easy to define what those things which are good.
When I experience a great dance I come away feeling excited or exhilarated by the experience. It can be for various different reasons.

To recognise the positives you have consider the negatives.

1. Positive: :nice: The man leads with his hand with a light push-pull action which guides the woman smoothly and clearly in the direction required.
Negative: :sad: The man bounces his hand up and down, has no tone in his hand or arm, bounces his whole body or bends his knees up and down.

2. Positive: :nice: The lead is taken through a slot so that the woman moves across the man and will know that the man will have turned to face her by the time she arrives.
Negative: :sad: No slot is used and the man is in a different plane every time. The woman therefore gets dizzy trying to work out where her partner will be next. (A very common fault)

3. Positive: :nice: During a return the man keeps his arms soft and flexible so that the woman can turn herself comfortably.
Negative: :sad: During a return the man yanks the woman and her arm to get her to turn, often while keeping his arm too low (too high is also a problem). This results in pulled muscles and injured joints and never wishing to dance with that man again. :angry:

4. Positive: :nice: The man gives the woman sufficient time (we are always slightly behind due to following) to complete the move and take a rock step ready for the next. Bear in mind if we are in high heels the timing and balance is a little different to sneakers.
Negative: :sad: The man rushes the move so that the woman losses timing or balance.

5. Positive: :nice: The man is gracious in accepting an invitation to dance and is polite or complementary at the end.
Negative: :sad: The man makes it obvious that they consider themselves too good for the woman, either due to better level of dancing ability or difference in age group.

6. Positive: :nice: A beginner asks for advice from a more experienced woman. It brings out the mother in many of us. :)
Negative: :sad: A beginner will not listen to kindly offered advice and therefore may develop bad habits.

Lots more I am sure others can add.

spindr
18th-January-2005, 07:43 PM
Sometimes you find it happens that after being lead into a spin your partner has begun leading the next move without even allowing you to complete you spin, allow your feet meet the floor or transfer either your weight onto opposite foot for next move.

Personally, I don't expect followers to step back out of a turn unless I lead them to step back -- otherwise I can't "roll" in to the next move. Another reason for not immediately stepping back is that the leader may be turning (possibly more than once) under the joint handhold -- that option gets difficult if the follower steps backwards, effectively lowering the hands as they do so.

If you *have* to step back, then it somewhat suggests that either you are off balance when spinning, or have been led off balance.

I think a better formulation of your leading axiom, is that the leader shouldn't lead a new move while their follower is unbalanced. Of course, there's the corresponding following axiom -- which is that a follower should always keep their own balance during the move :) Add them together and you have a good recipe.

SpinDr.

Daisy Chain
18th-January-2005, 10:05 PM
Sometimes you find it happens that after being lead into a spin your partner has begun leading the next move without even allowing you to complete you spin, allow your feet meet the floor or transfer either your weight onto opposite foot for next move.

This happened to me on Saturday with a man that I have danced with quite normally before.

Half way through the track he said "You're dancing slowly tonight..........are you tired?"

"No" I replied "It's a slow track" I had to laugh as he continued to haul me around ever more slightly ahead of the music.

Daisy

(A Slow-ish Flower)

Rose
18th-January-2005, 11:34 PM
:o Hi there, I think when you dance with someone, any one, you should be giving that 3 mins to that person and be lost in the music no matter if that person is (in your eyes) gorgeous, a great dancer, a beginner or scarily a teacher or taxi dancer. Be yourself but be with your partner and interpret the music, after all dancing is body language and eye contact helps you connect with that person. If I have a particularly amazing connection with someone I always say to my partner that I enjoyed the dance. Its nice to be nice...........or am I on another planet. I hope so when I'm dancing. ;)

Christine Keeble
19th-January-2005, 12:05 AM
What I really like in a dance is a SURPRISE. :what:
Janet

Janet , for me you hit the nail on the head way back at the start of this debate. I have been dancing this dance since 1978 (please don't do the maths) so I agree 100% that a SURPRISE IS NICE.

But before you guys start wondering how many hundreds of moves it takes to produce a surprise - I'd like to add that the extent of your repertoire matters not one jot to me. Whether its three moves or three hundred there is only one thing I really look for in a dance.

I'm not too sure where it is I go to when I dance but I wish I could send back postcards. The Hitchhikers Guide could probably describe it far better than I could as some sort of time/ place continuum where nothing exists except MUSIC. For this reason I cast my vote in the poll and opted for "musical interpretation" as the most important thing. If the guy feels at one with the music then I can too. If I can FEEL the music then off I go to Never Never land. Sometimes I drift back to earth and think I must have been beaming a smile because at that point I might notice one coming back from my partner. But I do n't suppose I need a smile ALL the time. If my partner is too 'on my case' I start to feel shy (and maybe a bit sheepish about my trips around the galaxy).

So in answer to that crucial question - what am I looking for in a dance? well it's the magic of the music of course! What am I looking for in a partner? it's a comfortable companion to journey there.

under par
19th-January-2005, 01:09 AM
So in answer to that crucial question - what am I looking for in a dance? well it's the magic of the music of course! What am I looking for in a partner? it's a comfortable companion to journey there.

What a lovely way to express your answer.

I hope we meet for a journey one day. Sounds great fun. :worthy:

Under Par

Roger C
19th-January-2005, 04:43 AM
Hi Christine.

I know that I have managed to surprise you in the past and I have continued to surprise a lot of ladies now!

Roger C.

Andy McGregor
19th-January-2005, 09:58 AM
...
:worthy: :worthy: :worthy: :worthy: :worthy:


Hi Christine.

I know that I have managed to surprise you in the past and I have continued to surprise a lot of ladies now!

Roger C.
So, what it the Chinster surprising the ladies with? :wink:

Zebra Woman
19th-January-2005, 10:17 AM
Hi Christine.

I know that I have managed to surprise you in the past and I have continued to surprise a lot of ladies now!

Roger C.

Oh yes Roger, you definitely surprised me at Jango on Sunday ! :really:

:clap:

ZW :flower:

cheeks
19th-January-2005, 10:29 AM
If you *have* to step back...................................or have been led off balance.SpinDr.

:clap:
Dragged or yanked into a spin or yes as you described it...........led of balance....was exactly the point I was trying to make-ok so my use of terminology when it comes to dance is not the best. :blush: but hey............... :hug:

Lory
19th-January-2005, 10:57 AM
I'd like to add that the extent of your repertoire matters not one jot to me. Whether its three moves or three hundred there is only one thing I really look for in a dance.

~snip~

If the guy feels at one with the music then I can too. If I can FEEL the music then off I go to Never Never land.
:yeah:

I liken a dance to a conversation between two people...

The music is the subject....

I hate it when the conversation is one too sided... I like to be listened too as well :o

It's fabulous when I feel I've learnt something, having someone share there knowledge with me, makes me feel richer for the experience :worthy:

I hate being shouted at or talked down to, it's very frustrating when someone's just likes to listen to the sound of their own voice, yes, we can hear you but your talking crap! :angry:

Banter and wit, is always very welcome! :D

And some of the sweetest conversations are almost whispered, very subtle indeed, you feel totally relaxed and in tune with your partner, there's no need to prove anything cos you already agree on the subject. :flower: :hug:

HeatherX
19th-January-2005, 10:59 AM
I like surprises, too, but I am happy with a guy who enjoys dancing, is comfortable to dance with, and who is aware of the beat of the music.

There are some guys who really don't understand about matching their movement to the rhythm of the music. This is understandable in a beginner, but I am aware of guys who have been dancing sometimes for years and what they do bears only a chance relationship to the beat of the music - I wish there was a way for them to recognise this and perhaps get some private tuition or extra practice.

Of course some excellent dancers deliberately syncopate their dancing, but this is very advanced (in my book!) - I am talking about the ones who don't seem to know the basics. There are a few men who do very complex moves, but all out of time, and it stops being fun for me, then.

Zebra Woman
19th-January-2005, 11:32 AM
:yeah:

I liken a dance to a conversation between two people...

The music is the subject....

I hate it when the conversation is one too sided... I like to be listened too as well :o

It's fabulous when I feel I've learnt something, having someone share there knowledge with me, makes me feel richer for the experience :worthy:

I hate being shouted at or talked down to, it's very frustrating when someone's just likes to listen to the sound of their own voice, yes, we can hear you but your talking crap! :angry:

Banter and wit, is always very welcome! :D

And some of the sweetest conversations are almost whispered, very subtle indeed, you feel totally relaxed and in tune with your partner, there's no need to prove anything cos you already agree on the subject. :flower: :hug:
:yeah:
Totally agree with you Lory... :hug:


I would only add that, if I'm lost in the music and really into the 'conversation', I don't want the spell to be broken.

The last thing I want to hear is actual words ....like 'Can you do a Columbian?'....

Guys, just lead it :wink:

ZW :flower:

MartinHarper
19th-January-2005, 12:12 PM
The last thing I want to hear is actual words ....like 'Can you do a Columbian?'....
Guys, just lead it :wink:

The "Columbian" is an educated step.
Drops need permission.
Some moves take verbal leads.
There are other dances.
You have a lovely voice.

So, uh, no. Shan't.

Zebra Woman
19th-January-2005, 01:02 PM
The "Columbian" is an educated step.
Drops need permission.
Some moves take verbal leads.
There are other dances.
You have a lovely voice.

So, uh, no. Shan't.

Oh...don't then :rolleyes:

I'm only saying what I like.

Yes a 'Columbian' is an educated step and it has a lead, and an educated follower can follow that lead.

You are right absolutley, drops need permission. :clap: But I would prefer to be asked before the dance begins, I may not hear correctly if the dance has begun. Personally, I can be flexible on the permission if I'm comfortable with a partner. A few gentle test dips will establish whether I'm up for deeper ones. Not flexible re: arials I would always want to be asked before them , and not one second before either :sick: .

Please ask before we dance re: Columbians, arials and drops.

Or I can give you provisional answers now - Yes, No and Maybe. :wink:

I don't want verbal during the dance (unless it's something really witty :devil: )

lovely voice or not

ZW :flower:

Andy McGregor
19th-January-2005, 01:31 PM
The "Columbian" is an educated step.

The Columbian is a led step. You lead it by changing the attitude of the frame and pushing alternately with your fingers and palm heel on your partners upper back. If you can't lead it properly you do need an 'educated' partner. And to lead it you need an even better educated partner. On Monday night I led it with a complete beginner, with no warning or verbal signal/coaching or anything - this woman is a highly trained dancer was the best MJ beginner I've ever met: I think I will become her stalker if she keeps dancing.


Drops need permission.


.. and room to do them safely. Preferably a different room :wink:


Some moves take verbal leads.


Can't think of any MJ move that needs a verbal lead.

Andy McGregor
19th-January-2005, 01:44 PM
I don't want verbal during the dance (unless it's something really witty :devil:

I find ZW does enjoy the odd proposition during the close moves. And she never says no - she doesn't say yes either, just looks at you enigmatically :flower:

Zebra Woman
19th-January-2005, 01:50 PM
I find ZW does enjoy the odd proposition during the close moves. And she never says no - she doesn't say yes either, just looks at you enigmatically :flower:

Oh yes Andy, I do enjoy your verbal. :clap:

So witty! I guess it leaves me speechless sometimes :blush:

Did we add 'Hair Pulling' to the list of things to be agreed before the dance? :devil:

ZW :hug:

Andy McGregor
19th-January-2005, 02:05 PM
Did we add 'Hair Pulling' to the list of things to be agreed before the dance? :devil:

ZW :hug:

.. and playful neck nibbling :devil:

Lory
19th-January-2005, 02:06 PM
Did we add 'Hair Pulling' to the list of things to be agreed before the dance? :devil:

ZW :hug:NO NO NO! :eek:

That's something that ONLY works for me when I'm taken by surprise! :yum: :devil: :drool: :wink:

Zebra Woman
19th-January-2005, 02:20 PM
Did we add 'Hair Pulling' to the list of things to be agreed before the dance? :devil:

ZW :hug:

I was meaning it more in terms of a special request actually. :devil:

eg.

'Andy , don't forget I love it when you dip me and pull my hair....'

Lory
19th-January-2005, 02:30 PM
I was meaning it more in terms of a special request actually. :devil:

eg.

'Andy , don't forget I love it when you dip me and pull my hair....' :yeah: :innocent:

ElaineB
19th-January-2005, 02:33 PM
:yeah:

I liken a dance to a conversation between two people...

The music is the subject....

I hate it when the conversation is one too sided... I like to be listened too as well :o

It's fabulous when I feel I've learnt something, having someone share there knowledge with me, makes me feel richer for the experience :worthy:

I hate being shouted at or talked down to, it's very frustrating when someone's just likes to listen to the sound of their own voice, yes, we can hear you but your talking crap! :angry:

Banter and wit, is always very welcome! :D

And some of the sweetest conversations are almost whispered, very subtle indeed, you feel totally relaxed and in tune with your partner, there's no need to prove anything cos you already agree on the subject. :flower: :hug:

Lory's post is absolutely spot on - the number of times that I have tried to add a flourish, say on the end of a change places to find that the Guy has impatiently pulled me off my feet!! I then give up trying to improvise and just follow until they have finished 'their' dance!

Agree with drops - test the water by doing a small one first and as for ariels, no way!!! Always, always ask!

Some chap did a move with me at the week-end - put me behind him, facing the opposite direction and proceeded to put me onto his back whilst he leant forwards. The only thing I could do was to raise both my feet off the ground to preserve my back (I don't have a back problem - yet!). Because I sussed out what he wanted, he proceeded to do it again! For heavens sake, if I had a bad back, he could have crippled me - what was he thinking about!! :mad:

Elaine

Bill
19th-January-2005, 03:17 PM
Some chap did a move with me at the week-end - put me behind him, facing the opposite direction and proceeded to put me onto his back whilst he leant forwards. The only thing I could do was to raise both my feet off the ground to preserve my back (I don't have a back problem - yet!). Because I sussed out what he wanted, he proceeded to do it again! For heavens sake, if I had a bad back, he could have crippled me - what was he thinking about!! :mad:

Elaine

So did you tell him off Elaine??? or make it clear the damage he could have done, or might do with such a move?

A few women have complained about some moves - or some dancers - but rarely tell the man a move was painful, or dangerous. A polite refusal next time he asks??

ElaineB
19th-January-2005, 03:35 PM
So did you tell him off Elaine??? or make it clear the damage he could have done, or might do with such a move?

A few women have complained about some moves - or some dancers - but rarely tell the man a move was painful, or dangerous. A polite refusal next time he asks??

I must confess that I didn't - I am sometimes too polite! :blush: But next time I see him I will explain to him why he shouldn't do that partic move - promise! :blush:


Elaine

Zebra Woman
19th-January-2005, 05:49 PM
I must confess that I didn't - I am sometimes too polite! :blush: But next time I see him I will explain to him why he shouldn't do that partic move - promise! :blush:


Elaine

Please do tell him Elaine, do it for WOMANKIND. We are right behind you. :hug:

I love doing lay backs if I'm allowed to go back gently, but I was pushed back very quickly by my shoulder once, I think it was part of a choreographed dance routine. It really hurt. My back was sore for a month afterwards. I did say something to the guy the following week , not at the time cos it took a day for the injury to reveal itself. He took it very well and was glad to be told.

And if he hadn't? Well that's that then. :whistle:

ZW :flower:

Commis Chef
19th-January-2005, 07:06 PM
:yeah:

[I liken a dance to a conversation between two people...]



It's strange how the same things can be said but the manner of delivery can either bore or inspire.

In the same way the same dance moves can be fantastic with one partner or dull with another.

''It's not what you do it's the way that you do it. It's not what you say it's the way that you say it.''

Zebra Woman
19th-January-2005, 07:18 PM
It's strange how the same things can be said but the manner of delivery can either bore or inspire.

In the same way the same dance moves can be fantastic with one partner or dull with another.

''It's not what you do it's the way that you do it. It's not what you say it's the way that you say it.''
:yeah: Very very true

It's not entirely down to the man though...I think the music is a big part of how the dance is received by me.


Plus there are some moves where it really doesn't matter how they're done


Multiple Pretzels

I'm afraid I'd much rather eat them thanks :blush:

ZW :flower:

jivecat
19th-January-2005, 07:54 PM
If you *have* to step back, then it somewhat suggests that either you are off balance when spinning, or have been led off balance.

I think a better formulation of your leading axiom, is that the leader shouldn't lead a new move while their follower is unbalanced. Of course, there's the corresponding following axiom -- which is that a follower should always keep their own balance during the move :) Add them together and you have a good recipe.

SpinDr.

This IS a good way to express it, but I also understood what Cheeks was saying in the post you quoted. As I read it, I didn't think there was a suggestion that the lady would step back without being led, rather that some leaders make it very hard for the lady to spin in balance or to prepare for the next step, NO MATTER HOW HARD SHE TRIES, at it's worst when the beginnings and endings of moves are skipped. Sometimes it's the man's fault that the lady is off balance, not a question of poor technique on her part. Although sometimes it is, of course.

under par
20th-January-2005, 02:40 AM
:yeah: Very very true

It's not entirely down to the man though...I think the music is a big part of how the dance is received by me.


Plus there are some moves where it really doesn't matter how they're done


Multiple Pretzels

I'm afraid I'd much rather eat them thanks :blush:

ZW :flower:

Single or multiple it is not a very alluring move and should be avoided at all costs,( except the very slow tortuous version !!!)

Bill
20th-January-2005, 01:40 PM
NO NO NO! :eek:

That's something that ONLY works for me when I'm taken by surprise! :yum: :devil: :drool: :wink:


Is that an open invitation then ????? I can pull quite gently really :rolleyes: :D

MartinHarper
20th-January-2005, 01:47 PM
Some leaders make it very hard for the lady to spin in balance or to prepare for the next step, NO MATTER HOW HARD SHE TRIES, at it's worst when the beginnings and endings of moves are skipped.

Interesting. So, if I were to lead from an arm jive swizzle straight into a basket, omitting the intervening rock step, would that be a good or bad thing, or what should I do to avoid making it unpleasant for my partner?

Daisy Chain
20th-January-2005, 01:52 PM
Interesting. So, if I were to lead from an arm jive swizzle straight into a basket, omitting the intervening rock step, would that be a good or bad thing, or what should I do to avoid making it unpleasant for my partner?

As long as you were dancing in time to the music (ie not rushing the move), I doubt that I would notice the lack of rock step. After all, many moves are linked versions of other simpler moves with bits missed out. Personally, I don't consciously do rock steps, I do whatever I fancy or fits the music.

A good follower should have no problems following a clear lead. I wonder if I'm a good follower?

Daisy

(An Adlibbing Little Flower)

Lou
20th-January-2005, 02:35 PM
Interesting. So, if I were to lead from an arm jive swizzle straight into a basket, omitting the intervening rock step, would that be a good or bad thing, or what should I do to avoid making it unpleasant for my partner?
If you can allow the lady to exit the swizzle (which is quite a fast turn for a follower), whilst catching her left hand for a double hand hold, in good time to lead her into a basket, then yes - by all means leave out any rockstep... ;)

Petal
20th-January-2005, 02:59 PM
Also note Franck's comments, he is not only a great lead but he is so much fun to dance with :drool: :grin: :kiss: :hug:

I've said this to Franck several times but he has a different word for fun. :whistle:

MartinHarper
20th-January-2005, 02:59 PM
If you can allow the lady to exit the swizzle (which is quite a fast turn for a follower), whilst catching her left hand for a double hand hold, in good time to lead her into a basket, then yes - by all means leave out any rockstep... ;)

I think there may be some name confusion here. By "arm jive swizzle", I'm thinking of the move described here: http://www.danceyourselfdizzy.com/armjive_swizzle.htm

Lou
20th-January-2005, 03:10 PM
I think there may be some name confusion here. By "arm jive swizzle", I'm thinking of the move described here: http://www.danceyourselfdizzy.com/armjive_swizzle.htm

Yesssss......?

So - when you come out of the fast swizzlestick exit, after your armjive, you need to somehow take up the lady's left hand. I assumed you normally used a rockstep to rock in & rock away to give yourself time before wrapping her in for a basket? Or am I barking up the wrong tree?

Gadget
20th-January-2005, 03:39 PM
Interesting. So, if I were to lead from an arm jive swizzle straight into a basket, omitting the intervening rock step, would that be a good or bad thing, or what should I do to avoid making it unpleasant for my partner?
As long as you are not breaking the flow of the movement (ie the lady is rotating clockwise out of one move and rotating anti-clockwise into another) then it should work well.

If you want your dance to flow and moves to join seamlessly, then the direction of rotation has to be maintained between moves or a 'joining' move like a barrier, block, rocking step, wrap, free-spin... has to be added.

I often lead the exit from a "swivel" into a basket; the main thing you have to make sure of is that the lady's back arm remains low and you let it dip to straighten before wrapping it in again. It's actually easier to lead a basket finish rather than a rocking-step - if you relax and position yourself right, the lady just flows into your side with almost no lead, your side and body finishing the deceleration instead of hands. To lead the rocking step, you have to use your hand connection to slow the exit and transform the lead into compression so that the lady knows to step back.
If you try to lead it too much, you get into the position of 'rushing' the lady and getting out of time. Make sure that you allow your right hand to dip while rolling it at the lady's hip (so that she can straighten her arm easily). Your left hand travels quite far and has to be sure of it's path (especially the lead up to the start of the turn) to avoid punching the lady in the face {best to be avoided I find}. As with any basket, it's easier if you keep the hands close to the lady's hips on the completion of the 'wrap-in' section.

It may help if you think on the lady still 'stepping back' on the same beat, she is just faceing a different direction when she does it.
(edit: In that link - at point7 you take a step in to meet your partner - she does not travel to wrap in like a normal basket: you do the traveling.)

Yogi_Bear
21st-January-2005, 09:38 AM
Single or multiple it is not a very alluring move and should be avoided at all costs,( except the very slow tortuous version !!!)
Hateful move. You can see it being led really badly by beginners, which makes it look dreadful - and very hard to follow, I would imagine.

Zebra Woman
13th-March-2005, 04:32 PM
Er....Someone like Benito :cheers:

Alison x

drathzel
13th-March-2005, 05:21 PM
Someone with a good lead that can let you do your own thing! Some guys let you dance to make them look good. I dont know about you lot but would you so not prefer to have fun during a dance! :hug:

Yogi_Bear
16th-March-2005, 09:53 PM
It is very easy to immediately think of all those things that I don't want in a dance but not so easy to define what those things which are good.
When I experience a great dance I come away feeling excited or exhilarated by the experience. It can be for various different reasons.

To recognise the positives you have consider the negatives.

1. Positive: :nice: The man leads with his hand with a light push-pull action which guides the woman smoothly and clearly in the direction required.
Negative: :sad: The man bounces his hand up and down, has no tone in his hand or arm, bounces his whole body or bends his knees up and down.

2. Positive: :nice: The lead is taken through a slot so that the woman moves across the man and will know that the man will have turned to face her by the time she arrives.
Negative: :sad: No slot is used and the man is in a different plane every time. The woman therefore gets dizzy trying to work out where her partner will be next. (A very common fault)

3. Positive: :nice: During a return the man keeps his arms soft and flexible so that the woman can turn herself comfortably.
Negative: :sad: During a return the man yanks the woman and her arm to get her to turn, often while keeping his arm too low (too high is also a problem). This results in pulled muscles and injured joints and never wishing to dance with that man again. :angry:

4. Positive: :nice: The man gives the woman sufficient time (we are always slightly behind due to following) to complete the move and take a rock step ready for the next. Bear in mind if we are in high heels the timing and balance is a little different to sneakers.
Negative: :sad: The man rushes the move so that the woman losses timing or balance.

5. Positive: :nice: The man is gracious in accepting an invitation to dance and is polite or complementary at the end.
Negative: :sad: The man makes it obvious that they consider themselves too good for the woman, either due to better level of dancing ability or difference in age group.

6. Positive: :nice: A beginner asks for advice from a more experienced woman. It brings out the mother in many of us. :)
Negative: :sad: A beginner will not listen to kindly offered advice and therefore may develop bad habits.

Lots more I am sure others can add.I've just gone back to find this post and I think it's well worth repeating here...an excellent posting and I agree totally with the advice offered. :worthy:

Mythical
16th-February-2007, 01:18 AM
My best dances, (considering I've only had a few!) have been with.... guys who can keep time with the music, and will slow down when the music slows - I find it really confusing to do moves to the same speed as the rest of the track when the music is going onnnnnnne....twwwwwwwo....threeeeeee...foouuuuuur, but the guy is going one two three four one twon three four.
Guys who lead clearly. I'd rather do four moves well, over and over than seventeen moves I can't follow! On the other hand, if a guy can lead seventeen moves so I can follow them...ace!
Guys who are careful where they put their elbows.......my eye socket is NOT a good place....similarly, guys who don't yank my shoulder out of joint.
Guys who smile.....some reason it's much easier to dance when he's got a grin on his face and is singing along to the music than when he's scowling like he'd rather pluck his nose hairs than dance with me!

Gav
16th-February-2007, 11:25 AM
some reason it's much easier to dance when he's got a grin on his face and is singing along to the music than when he's scowling like he'd rather pluck his nose hairs than dance with me!

LMFAO, I'll have to try to develop that look. How does one look like you'd rather pluck nose hairs! :clap: :rofl: :clap: :rofl:

Mary
16th-February-2007, 11:54 AM
A guy who can hear the music, and looks like he is enjoying himself, even if he isn't necessarily smiling. :nice:

Oh, yes, and a guy who doesn't grip my hand or dig his fingers in. :angry:


M