Asking for someone's phone number after a dance track. What is the correct etiquette?

[Clive Long]

You are dancing with someone. All is syncing up. You are not thinking too much, just moving. You have a second dance. Then the end of the second track.

Now the Ceroc challenge. You are "interested" in this other person. Nowhere to chat. No time to chat.

So is it considered bad form to ask for someone's (*) phone number at the end of a dance? Is that behaviour considered to breach "acceptable" behaviour and no-one could consider a "dance is just a dance"? Would it spoil the "dance bubble"?

(*) Note: Male may ask female, female may ask male and any other combination is considered equivalent.

Edit: There is supposed to be a poll attached to this but I can't write short
questions.

[LMC]

What if it's after a third track? :innocent:

[Princess Fi]

I'm probably being a bit blonde (its hard to tell under all this hair dye, but that's how I started off) but why would that be bad practice? I mean if you don't talk to that individual outside of ceroc, then 'just after a dance' may be the only chance you get before the other person goes off to dance with someone else?

[thewacko]

You are dancing with someone. All is syncing up. You are not thinking too much, just moving. You have a second dance. Then the end of the second track.

Now the Ceroc challenge. You are "interested" in this other person. Nowhere to chat. No time to chat.

So is it considered bad form to ask for someone's (*) phone number at the end of a dance? Is that behaviour considered to breach "acceptable" behaviour and no-one could consider a "dance is just a dance"? Would it spoil the "dance bubble"?

(*) Note: Male may ask female, female may ask male and any other combination is considered equivalent.

Edit: There is supposed to be a poll attached to this but I can't write short
questions.

but Clive you didn't dance with me - we only sang Karaoke:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

but PM me you smooth talker and we will see:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[anniehb]

If you're 'interested' in lots of people you dance with then it'll probably turn out to be bad dance etiquette. That aside, give it a go because life's too short. Or offer them a drink first. It gives them a chance to turn you down nicely. But if you weren't wrong, they'll say yes.

[Ghost]

You are dancing with someone. All is syncing up. You are not thinking too much, just moving. You have a second dance. Then the end of the second track.

Now the Ceroc challenge. You are "interested" in this other person. Nowhere to chat. No time to chat.

So is it considered bad form to ask for someone's (*) phone number at the end of a dance?
I'd suggest offering them your phone number. Gives them the option of 'losing' it if they want.

Good luck,
Christopher

[thewacko]

I'd suggest offering them your phone number. Gives them the option of 'losing' it if they want.

Good luck,
Christopher


Oh clive I appear to have lost your number

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Spin dryer]

Now the Ceroc challenge. You are "interested" in this other person. Nowhere to chat. No time to chat.

So is it considered bad form to ask for someone's (*) phone number at the end of a dance? [/SIZE]

Isn't it better to make a specific overture rather than simply ask for a number? If I were attracted to a woman, I'd ask her out for dinner or invite her to a specific event and only then swap numbers.

I know it can be quite hard to find the right moment at a dance event, particularly given that it would, in my view, be totally inappropriate to suggest a date when you are already holding a woman in your arms on the dance floor. Surely though, the anticipation as you try to find that window of opportunity is part of the fun.

[Missy D]

Asking for someones phone number is fine by me. However, you could always just pass your number to them. Unfortunately, i seem to attract the other kind that would say something like "hey my partners away this weekend how bout it" or the likes. I even dyed my hair from blonde to dark and still attract these men. This is not just in dance either.

[spindr]

Now the Ceroc challenge. You are "interested" in this other person. Nowhere to chat. No time to chat.
You could always make sure that you dance the *last dance* with them :)

SpinDr.

[Missy D]

You could always make sure that you dance the *last dance* with them :)

SpinDr.


Actually just remembered a very nice man came over to me at the end of freestyle and asked if we could exchange numbers and we did. Come to think of it i never saw or heard from him again (must have seen me in the bright lights).

[Bagpuss]

I think you can still have a bit of a chat whilst dancing to suss if they are available or interested. I have been asked before "Does your partner/boyfriend dance?" and I think maybe the guy was interested and testing the water. That is a safe bet. But I would personally feel under a lot of pressure if soemone asked me for my no. at the end of a dance. I would much prefer for them to catch me for a chat at the end of the night or "invite" me to a venue they dance at. Then it would be my choice.

Or sometimes as you finish a dance as you go off the dance floor have a mini conversation saying it was really good blah blah, where do you usually dance etc, if the girl/guy is interested they will hover to chat. If their eyes are looking around for a next dance - prob a blow out.


It doesn't really affect me as I am loved up with my partner but thinking back on when I was single that is what I would have prefered. It didn't happen much as I think I am far too intimidating to the average male and whey too honest with my body langauge!!!!

Bagpuss

[El Salsero Gringo]

I'd suggest offering them your phone number. Gives them the option of 'losing' it if they want.

Good luck,
ChristopherNo, it's rude and stuck-up to give someone your number and expect them to call. If you're interested, it should be you doing the asking, and the phoning.

[Ghost]

Isn't it better to make a specific overture rather than simply ask for a number? If I were attracted to a woman, I'd ask her out for dinner or invite her to a specific event and only then swap numbers.
Opps. :blush: I thought this was implied. Swap numbers being more so the lady can ring you up and explain she's "Washing her hair and can't make it". or will be there, but is going to be late

No, it's rude and stuck-up to give someone your number and expect them to call.
"Hi babe, here's my number - call me" Hmm not quite what I had in mind.

Be Well,
Christopher

[LMC]

:yeah: to Bagpuss and ESG

I've run into this situation of "Is it me, or is it just the dancing?" a couple of times, and here's how women think - well, me anyway, but everyone knows I'm not quite normal

Dance requested by either party = even if you rather like the look of them, it's just a dance.

Good connection, maybe there is conversation, you're getting on well = it's just a dance + chat.

Second consecutive dance requested by either party = it's still just another dance. If you like dancing with them then it's flattering to be asked. If the first dance was only half a track, then 'staying up' doesn't count - we're talking whole tracks here.

Third or more dances requested and/or two or more dances + they come back later in the evening for more = they are interested. It could still be just the dancing - if there is a connection, I like the person and don't have any desperate desire to go and dance with someone else then it's very flattering to be hung on to or for someone to come back for more. Not counting beginners when I'm taxi-ing and having trouble extricating myself, I can only remember ever twice being asked for a third consecutive dance - one of them was definitely just the dancing, the other I'm still not sure. Personally I would never ask for a 3rd dance in a row because it feels greedy, but if they want to carry on then it's very flattering, whatever the motivation.

Chatting after the dance through more than one track (while you're both not dancing) would also flag definite interest to me - but I still wouldn't leap to the conclusion that this was "romantic" interest unless the conversation content/body language/dancing (UCP :devil: ) corresponded.

*suddenly gets extraordinarily sad thought that this should maybe have been a flowchart :sick: - no, even I'm not that sad*

If it's always you asking for the dances, then it's you that's interested, obviously. Where the tricky bit comes in is:

a) are they only accepting to be polite?
b) would they have asked if you hadn't?
c) them not asking doesn't necessarily mean they are not interested: if they are a highly in-demand dancer, they might not have the opportunity before someone else swipes them.
d) the track and the timing of the dance can be critical - last dance scores extra points (value negotiable) and so do so some tracks (if they ask you for blues then score an extra 7 points - unless, of course, it's just a dance!)

Even if he wasn't a definite "Thanks but no thanks", a guy asking me for my number early in the evening or after only one or two dances might freak me out, unless I either really fancied him or had danced with him at a previous event - depends on conversation/dance history. Even if the response is positive, then asking for a number too early in the evening could be embarrassing, because "then what?" - better to wait to ask at or very close to the end of the evening IMO or invite them to another venue as already suggested - or you could turn up at theirs.

After a couple of dances you could invite them off to the bar for a drink (couldn't you Mr Darcy? :whistle: ) and take it from there - this is a good "safe zone" as it's quite reasonable to want to return to dancing after 20 minutes or thereabouts. Refusal of a drink isn't necessarily a rejection though - they might just want to be dancing!

The bottom line is that sooner or later, you have to stick your neck out - something that I am extraordinarily bad at. Unlike stringing clichés together, for which I seem to have quite a talent. I firmly believe that if I'm interested in someone and am making a bit of an effort to demonstrate that interest, then if they are interested in me, they will find a way to let me know by putting in some effort themselves. If they don't, then it's just the dancing, and NEXT!

Anyone brave enough to post the male thought process? - is there one? :devil:

[Yliander]

why does asking for a number have to be about romantic interest?

can't it just be I like this person and would like the opportunity to have a proper conversation with as I think I would like to be friends with them rather than just acquaintances

[LMC]

Absolutely.

But if single status is knowns to be the case on both sides, then asking someone you don't know that well for their number is always going to be tough. The initial post, with "interested" in quotes indicates romantic interest is the issue here.

I know it's not me, because Clive has my number :innocent: - on a serious note, we had got to know each other well enough at the point of 'exchange' that it was obviously just the dancing + friends :nice: (:hug: Clive)

Edit: Not that it was ever anything else for all you gossip-mongers out there, just using that as an example!

[Ghost]

why does asking for a number have to be about romantic interest?

can't it just be I like this person and would like the opportunity to have a proper conversation with as I think I would like to be friends with them rather than just acquaintances
The only time I've given someone my number at Ceroc was along these lines. We agreed something specific first, then she had my mobile if anything changed.

But I suspect this isn't what Clive's interested in. It's much easier to ask someone to meet up when your heart's not going :awe:

Be Well,
Christopher

[Ghost]

Anyone brave enough to post the male thought process? - is there one? :devil:
I don't think there's a single answer. From the various conversations I've had over the years it very much depends on the guy. The full scale from what you described to "She's hot, think I'll ask her out".

Be Well,
Christopher

[pjay]

Hmmmm, I've "gotten" phone numbers for people I've danced with a few times... (Does this make me look bad?! - Apparently I have a reputation for dating all the girls, and what I want to know is how come I can't remember all those dates?!)

I've never "just asked" after a dance - there has always been some other history...

I think that if you're interested you should make the opportunities to talk to him/her further, so that there is more than just dancing to base the question on.

[Tazmanian Devil]

why does asking for a number have to be about romantic interest?

can't it just be I like this person and would like the opportunity to have a proper conversation with as I think I would like to be friends with them rather than just acquaintances

I think that if you're interested you should make the opportunities to talk to him/her further, so that there is more than just dancing to base the question on.

:yeah:
I have many dancers numbers and have only ever dated one. I personally don't think that exchanging numbers has to be about romantic interests but if you do like the person romantically then after you have friendly exchanged nubers then go out for a meal/drink and you never know something may come of it!! :wink:


You are dancing with someone. All is syncing up. You are not thinking too much, just moving. You have a second dance. Then the end of the second track.

Now the Ceroc challenge. You are "interested" in this other person. Nowhere to chat. No time to chat.

So is it considered bad form to ask for someone's (*) phone number at the end of a dance? Is that behaviour considered to breach "acceptable" behaviour and no-one could consider a "dance is just a dance"? Would it spoil the "dance bubble"?

(*) Note: Male may ask female, female may ask male and any other combination is considered equivalent.

Edit: There is supposed to be a poll attached to this but I can't write short
questions.
I did wonder why we had a few dances on the trot why didn't you just ask sweetie :wink: :flower:

[Lou]

then after you have friendly exchanged nubers

Blimey! You do that on a first date?! :eek:

[David Bailey]

{ snip vast amount of stuff }
:eek:


Anyone brave enough to post the male thought process? - is there one? :devil:
I'm fairly sure the male thought process is simpler than that...


why does asking for a number have to be about romantic interest?
Because that's The Signal. It's the soft version of asking a girl out - but less traumatic than asking for a date proper, because it allows both parties to pretend they're just friends exchanging numbers.


can't it just be I like this person and would like the opportunity to have a proper conversation with as I think I would like to be friends with them rather than just acquaintances
Theoretically, yes. Realistically, almost certainly not - in the same way that the guy asking you out for dinner might just be expressing friendship... :rolleyes:

[El Salsero Gringo]

Anyone brave enough to post the male thought process? - is there one? :devil:Well, I was going to post a detailed reply but it was *still* only two lines long.

[Lou]

So is it considered bad form to ask for someone's (*) phone number at the end of a dance?

Not at all. The best way is to wait until the end of the track & remain chatting on the dance floor. Trampy will then proceed to pointedly knock into you, resulting in the perfect excuse to escort the lady to safety. Who could refuse to give their phone number (or e-mail address, I'm told...) to such a perfect gent? :wink:

[David Bailey]

Well, I was going to post a detailed reply but it was *still* only two lines long.
OK, from what I dimly recall of such matters, I can't recall ever doing the "asking for a phone number" thing. From the chemistry of the dance, it was either very very obvious - or it wasn't.

So, that probably helped not at all then. But I got 3 lines... :innocent:


Not at all. The best way is to wait until the end of the track & remain chatting on the dance floor. Trampy will then proceed to pointedly knock into you, resulting in the perfect excuse to escort the lady to safety. Who could refuse to give their phone number (or e-mail address, I'm told...) to such a perfect gent? :wink:
I think it's time to resurrect the MFFY service :rolleyes:

[El Salsero Gringo]

OK, from what I dimly recall of such matters, I can't recall ever doing the "asking for a phone number" thing. Yeah, but you need some way to get in touch to return her underwear.

[David Bailey]

Yeah, but you need some way to get in touch to return her underwear.
Yeah, Fletch - did you get that guy's number? :innocent:

[Lynn]

Any time I've been asked for my number - its never been just after a dance - a couple of dances, then the guy has come over to sit down and chat (but then I'm more likely to be sitting down as I tend to wait to be asked to dance, I suppose that wouldn't work if the woman never sits down) - then after chatting for a couple of tracks, the guy has asked for my number.* If he asked for a number just after a dance I wouldn't really be impressed, there might have been a great connection in the dance, I might even have been equally attracted at that level, but if he didn't take the time to actually talk to me, knows nothing about me except the dancing, that would just make me think he goes round asking for women's phone numbers every time he has a good dance.

(*Incidentally this hasn't happened here in NI at Ceroc - only ever when I'm dancing in England, and by that stage they will know I live in NI, so can't just meet up for dinner the next week...but when a guy does express interest knowing I live pretty far away, must admit, that can be an extra brownie point.:D Depending on the guy of course!)

I've never given my number, most guys perservere and gives me theirs. But I haven't ever rung! However, I would be more inclined to give my email address, or if not - if a guy gave me his I do usually email him. Some email conversations can then lead on to number swaps.

why does asking for a number have to be about romantic interest?

can't it just be I like this person and would like the opportunity to have a proper conversation with as I think I would like to be friends with them rather than just acquaintances
Of course it doesn't have to be 'romantic' - I've come home from every dance weekender I've been on with at least one guy's email - and I'm pretty sure its just been 'being friendly' in almost every case (though I'm amazingly dense when it comes to these things :rofl: ). I swapped emails this weekend with a guy - not romantic, just wanting to stay in touch.:flower:

However with the topic of this thread, I presume it is meant in a 'I fancy this person, how can I make contact with them' sort of way. And along those lines - make time to chat to her after dancing, offer to buy her a drink - she'll have to sit down for a track to drink it then you can chat. Then ask for number, if she hesitates, try for an email address.

You are "interested" in this other person. Nowhere to chat. No time to chat.If you are really interested you find the time to chat and find somewhere to chat. Its always possible if you make the effort - and if she's worth it, you will.

[Clive Long]

I wish to point out I have started this thread on behalf of a friend.

Personally I would never ask for a 3rd dance in a row because it feels greedy, but if they want to carry on then it's very flattering, whatever the motivation.
Is five dances (I think it was five) in a row a bit excessive? Or selfish? Forget that, I don't want to high-jack my own thread.


CRL

[David Bailey]

I wish to point out I have started this thread on behalf of a friend.

Don't tell me his name was Stewart / Stuart / Stewert? :innocent:

71 to go... 71 to go...

[Little Monkey]

I don't think I've ever been asked for my phone number after just dancing with a guy once or twice....

But I've been asked by guys I've met and danced with on a number of occasions, and it's been everything from "I really like dancng with you, shall we swap numbers so we can arrange to meet at a dance somewhere soon?", "Can I have your number, I'd really like to get to know you better" to "If I asked you for your number, would your big scary boyfriend come and beat the sh*t out of me?" :rofl:

I think how people ask, and how people react to being asked, is completely personal and subjective, and will differ from person to person. So, "Clive's friend", just do what you think / feel is right! I personally think it's flattering (at least in about 90% of the cases, apart from when the guy is just rude / crude) that a guy likes me and wants my number, or wants to ask me out, even if I don't fancy him. Always nice to have a wee bit of an ego boost! :D

[stewart38]

"Hi babe, here's my number - call me"



Works for me :whistle:

[stewart38]

E-Mail/ phone number its doesnt really matter, if there is a connection you will get it

You also dont have to be so forward

You could say if you ever dancing at 'winsdor' maybe i could see you there ,whats your nos or e-mail ? etc so we could catch up sometime. Its fairly vague but gives you the contact details. If she/he doesnt want to give out the information move on

This doesnt have to be 'dating' of course it could be just wanting to dance with them again as 'friends'

[Tessalicious]

"If I asked you for your number, would your big scary boyfriend come and beat the sh*t out of me?":rofl: Was this in London? - if so, I'm sure I've met the guy that asks like that...

[El Salsero Gringo]

You also dont have to be so forward

You could say if you ever dancing at 'winsdor' maybe i could see you there ,whats your nos or e-mail ? etc so we could catch up sometime. Its fairly vague but gives you the contact details. If she/he doesnt want to give out the information move onGood lord, why do you have to be so 'un-forward' - backward? - about it? Just say what you mean, don't **** about with 'catch up sometime' when you want a date.

[drathzel]

or you could always ask his mate loudly enough for him to hear, if you could have his mobile number.:blush:

[Bop]

I've only been asked out once whilst dancing and I'm now married to him!!

We'd been chatting and dancing for a few months, then we went to lunch together at a Sunday workshop, and then the next evening he asked me out. I meant to say no (long story), but he asked me if I'd like to go for a drink, just as someone else asked me for a dance - I said yes to both of them!! The rest (as they say) is history.

Bop

[Sparkles]

I don't think I've ever been asked for my phone number after just dancing with a guy once or twice....
:yeah: Or even after several dances on a single night for that matter.

If a guy is really interested he will find you. He'll find out where you dance (either by asking directly or asking around) and he'll make the effort to let you know he's interested.

Doing a bit of 'leg work', as Lynn suggests, certainly earns you brownie points. But it's possible to ruin it all by saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Don't rush, relax and get to know her a bit first and make sure you're both really on the same page. Then, when you feel the time is right, be open and honest and say what you really want - if it's a date, say so, if it's friendship that's cool too.

S. x

[Lynn]

If a guy is really interested he will find you. He'll find out where you dance (either by asking directly or asking around) and he'll make the effort to let you know he's interested.:yeah:


or you could always ask his mate loudly enough for him to hear, if you could have his mobile number.:blush:OK I have another question - what's the ettiquette for passing on someone else's number? I was once chatted up at a dance (a rare occurance - the being chatted up bit, not the dance) by a friend of an accquaintance. He then got my number from his friend and rang to ask me out.* I wasn't entirely happy about my number being passed on like that.

(*Another thing - he had seemed pretty keen the night I met him, but didn't ring me till about 3 months later - what was all that about?)

[David Bailey]

:yeah:

OK I have another question - what's the ettiquette for passing on someone else's number?
Give it to me, I'll pass it on for you :)


(*Another thing - he had seemed pretty keen the night I met him, but didn't ring me till about 3 months later - what was all that about?)
"Subs bench", obviously. Although you'd always be in the A-team for me :flower:

(No, not that A-team, :rolleyes: )

[Freya]

He then got my number from his friend and rang to ask me out.* I wasn't entirely happy about my number being passed on like that.


MAybe he was just too shy to ask you? What if he was worried that you might just have thought him a sleeze?

I would be kinda flattered that he asked a friend for my number. Your friend may have only passed on your number coz he it would be ok with you. Or more probably like it was being a typical Bloke and didn't think twice!

It kinda cuts down on the scaryness of asking someone for their phone number.

I've got myself into a few uncomfortable situations where I asked a guy for his number coz I had danced with him for a few weeks and thought we were having a laugh and it would be cool to keep in touch outwith ceroc nights - am always looking for people up for a dance! He now doesn't talk to me!!! :sick: Ooops. Hasn't stopped me asking though!

xXx

[Ghost]

I wish to point out I have started this thread on behalf of a friend.
In the interests of clarity - what are your friend's intentions? If they’re just after one-night stands, then frankly carpet bombing seems to be the most effective approach from what I've seen. Ask out as many women as possible and as quickly as possible. I know a guy very successful at this whose line is "Get your coat, you've pulled".

For mid-term relationships ESG’s suggestion of just ask the girl, but by the numbers can work well.

If they’re more interested in long term relationships, then from what I’ve seen, Taz’s advice is the way to go.

It also depends on whether your friend wants to dance with them again and are concerned about them feeling weirded out if they’re not interested. Get a friend to subtly enquire on their behalf (you for example :wink: ), or go with Stewart’s “want to meet up somewhere" idea or anniehb’s “want a drink”.

Ultimately to each their own. To answer the original question as to the etiquette, it appears from the range of replies so far that there isn’t one.

Hope that helps,
Christopher

[Lynn]

"Subs bench", obviously. :tears: (Alas probably too true!)


MAybe he was just too shy to ask you? I like this answer better. :flower:

DJ is probably more accurate (again :rolleyes: ) - but the evening this guy phoned me he had just had a great day out and was feeling really upbeat so maybe he was shy and had worked up the confidence to ring.

I would be kinda flattered that he asked a friend for my number. Your friend may have only passed on your number coz he it would be ok with you. Or more probably like it was being a typical Bloke and didn't think twice!

It kinda cuts down on the scaryness of asking someone for their phone number. Me? Ask a guy for his phone number? I'm usually too shy even to ask them to dance!:rofl:

[Lynn]

In the interests of clarity - what are your friend's intentions? If they’re just after one-night stands, then frankly carpet bombing seems to be the most effective approach from what I've seen. Ask out as many women as possible and as quickly as possible. I know a guy very successful at this whose line is "Get your coat, you've pulled". Yes, but if he dances regularly in the same venues... I know someone who always seems to leave a party with a different woman each time. Surely eventually the women catch on?

[David Bailey]

:tears: (Alas probably too true!)
With men, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. Failing that, the explanation that assumes zero morality is usually correct.


... I know someone who always seems to leave a party with a different woman each time.
That's like the song, isn't it? Who was that - Sister Sledge?

[pjay]

OK I have another question - what's the ettiquette for passing on someone else's number? I was once chatted up at a dance (a rare occurance - the being chatted up bit, not the dance) by a friend of an accquaintance. He then got my number from his friend and rang to ask me out.* I wasn't entirely happy about my number being passed on like that.

(*Another thing - he had seemed pretty keen the night I met him, but didn't ring me till about 3 months later - what was all that about?)

I've asked a common friend for a number before... I expect that friend to go to the other person and ask if it's ok to pass on the number (this of course means that if I get a number I take it as a good sign... hey it has worked every time so far :nice: ).

[Sparkles]

what's the ettiquette for passing on someone else's number?
IMO you should never pass on your friend's phone number to someone without their permission first, unless it's a mutual friend you both know really well.
The response to a request for a friend's phone number should always be "I'm sorry, won't give you their number, but if you would like to you can give me yours and I'll pass it on to them for you?".
It's also another way to make a good impression on the object of your desires - if their friend thinks you're a nice person and passes on nice things about you along with your number then you're even closer to a 'yes' in response to your offer of a date :nice:.

[Ghost]

Yes, but if he dances regularly in the same venues... I know someone who always seems to leave a party with a different woman each time. Surely eventually the women catch on?
I remember a guy in 6th form who dated two best friends consequetively on the same night and well, bases were involved. It never occurred to him that the first thing they'd do the next day was tell the other what a great night they'd had. The combined wrath of all the 6th form girls (and quite a few guys) promptly descended on him.

Take care,
Christopher

[Little Monkey]

:rofl: Was this in London? - if so, I'm sure I've met the guy that asks like that...

Nope, but a guy in London did say to me: "If I asked you for a dance, would your big scary boyfriend come and beat the sh*t out of me?" :rofl: Maybe the same guy you've met?


what's the ettiquette for passing on someone else's number

It depends........ If my friend knew I really fancied the guy, but was too shy to approach him or ask for his number, I might be grateful if he / she gave him my number! But if it was to someone I didn't really know, I wouldn't be too happy at all! I really wouldn't like my friends to just give my number to anyone who asks for it, unless there's a damn good reason to do so. I've experienced having a stalker, and he had my mobile number, and would text me several times a day. At first it was love poems, in the end it was abusive messages! :(

[Lynn]

IMO you should never pass on your friend's phone number to someone without their permission first, unless it's a mutual friend you both know really well.He didn't ask, just passed it on. I think he may have mentioned it though, after he had done it.

I never would pass on a friend's number without asking them first.

Anyway, we're getting too sidetracked from Clive's question. Sorry, I mean Clive's friend's question.

[Little Monkey]

IMO you should never pass on your friend's phone number to someone without their permission first, unless it's a mutual friend you both know really well.
The response to a request for a friend's phone number should always be "I'm sorry, won't give you their number, but if you would like to you can give me yours and I'll pass it on to them for you?".


Couldn't agree more! And in the above situation, your friend can decide herself, if she wants to call him, or to ignore him by not calling. If the latter is the case, the guy should hopefully get the hint that the girl isn't interested... Hopefully without feeling too gutted!

[Donna]

You are dancing with someone. All is syncing up. You are not thinking too much, just moving. You have a second dance. Then the end of the second track.

Now the Ceroc challenge. You are "interested" in this other person. Nowhere to chat. No time to chat.

So is it considered bad form to ask for someone's (*) phone number at the end of a dance? Is that behaviour considered to breach "acceptable" behaviour and no-one could consider a "dance is just a dance"? Would it spoil the "dance bubble"?

(*) Note: Male may ask female, female may ask male and any other combination is considered equivalent.

Edit: There is supposed to be a poll attached to this but I can't write short
questions.

Depends....if you like them, why not? No harm in doing so.

I think rather than say no at the time and create an awkward situation, just exchange numbers. It may be totally innocent. If you feel they want more than 'just friends' then take the number but don't contact them. If one was to text the one who ain't interested then reply but keep it short and don't reply back too soon. That way, at least some contact won't make you feel awkward the next time you bump into them.

[Lynn]

...long answer with many convolutions, possible interpretations and room for misunderstandings...all true.. :yeah:

Grrr. Why does it have to be so complicated? Why can't a person just say 'I like you and would like to get to know you better, lets spend some time together.'? All this flippin reading situations and 'does he/she like me' and 'what does it mean if they say/do/dance like this'? (No, I'm not going even start on the dancing thing - those dances).

Very sorry, rant over.

[David Bailey]

Grrr. Why does it have to be so complicated? Why can't a person just say 'I like you and would like to get to know you better, lets spend some time together.'
Errr, because that doesn't work? Because women, generally, react better to a sideways approach than a head-on one? Because men discover this, and adjust their tactics accordingly?

Or so I've heard - I wouldn't know, and I don't think I've ever "chatted anyone up" in my life...

Blimey, this is feeling like the Singleton's Sofa :eek:

[DianaS]

Clive, sorry to be so slow on the uptake! My "friends" telephone number is 07770 756 408 just pass it on to your "friend" and tell him she is expecting his call.
You just had to ask:cheers:

[Little Monkey]

Clive, sorry to be so slow on the uptake! My "friends" telephone number is xxxxxxxxxxx just pass it on to your "friend" and tell him she is expecting his call.
You just had to ask:cheers:

Ummmm..... Did you just post your friend's number on a public forum? Possibly not a very good idea, my dear, as anyone can read it / use it! :what: :eek:

One thing is to pas it on to your mate, another thing entirely to pass it on to the whole world!

LM

[Lynn]

Errr, because that doesn't work? Right - and all the guessing and trying to work out what the other person means does??
Because women, generally, react better to a sideways approach than a head-on one? Yeah well most might, but some prefer a more direct approach.

I'm sorry, but I get grumpy and fed up about all this from time to time. I'm going to go now and sit in a cupboard in SofaLand. With the door locked. Not another word out of me.*



*I mean just on this thread, obviously.

[Freya]

Ummmm..... Did you just post your friend's number on a public forum? Possibly not a very good idea, my dear, as anyone can read it / use it! :what: :eek:

One thing is to pas it on to your mate, another thing entirely to pass it on to the whole world!

LM

Unless of course this is the flirt divert number???? :rofl:

XX

[drathzel]

:yeah:

OK I have another question - what's the ettiquette for passing on someone else's number? I was once chatted up at a dance (a rare occurance - the being chatted up bit, not the dance) by a friend of an accquaintance. He then got my number from his friend and rang to ask me out.* I wasn't entirely happy about my number being passed on like that.

(*Another thing - he had seemed pretty keen the night I met him, but didn't ring me till about 3 months later - what was all that about?)

i can only comment that he knew i had asked, but i know what you mean, i am not sure i would like my number passed on by a friend without being asked first.

The keen thing, i have no idea, maybe when someone told him about the 3 day rule, he thought he said "months":D

[Little Monkey]

Unless of course this is the flirt divert number???? :rofl:

XX

Let's hope it is! :D :rofl:

[Freya]

Let's hope it is! :D :rofl:


Yup just checked it is!!!

What pointless things we can do when we're putting off writing our thesises!!!

XXXX

[Little Monkey]

Yup just checked it is!!!

What pointless things we can do when we're putting off writing our thesises!!!

XXXX

Wooooooooooooooo!!

Although we've (or you have, anyway :wink: ) spoilt the fun now, by revealing it's the flirt divert number... Sorry DianaS!

[Freya]

Ooooops.

:blush:

Sorry

[Ghost]

Right - and all the guessing and trying to work out what the other person means does?? Yeah well most might, but some prefer a more direct approach.
The problem is that it takes serious courage to be direct if you actually care about the answer. Theoretically if I just wanted to bed someone, then I'm not gonna be fazed by the first lady saying "No". "NEXT!" as LMC might put it :wink:

But if I have a serious crush on a lady, then her "No" is going to hurt like hell. Hasn't stopped me from asking straight out, but I knew what I was risking when I've done it
Take care,
Christopher

[LMC]

But if I have a serious crush on a lady, then her "No" is going to hurt like hell. Hasn't stopped me from asking straight out, but I knew what I was risking when I've done it.
Sparkles has the right of it in many ways - what's the rush? - if you know where each other dances then you can maintain the contact and get to know each other better. At the same time, the more investment you have put into the "relationship" (whatever kind of relationship it is, whether friends or more) then the more rejection will hurt.

As I concluded after my deliberately torturous ramblings, if you're going to get anywhere, you have to take a risk at some point and just ask. End of.

[Freya]

I feel as if this thread is going round in circles slightly!

What we have established is that there is no right ettiquette to ask for a phone number.

However:

1) Try talking to the person 1st - your more likely to get the number
2) It doesn't matter what your intentions are they'll draw their own conclusions. - Yes you might get hurt!
3) Don't pass on friends numbers they might not like it! - Plus if they really want a number they'll get up the guts to ask for it themselves.
4) You're gonna have to stick your neck out at some point might as well do it sooner rather than later. - Someone else might snap her up before you.
5) Plus you've got something in common so your already better off than if your just asking a girl in a Bar!

Thats my thoughts anyway!

HAs this been any help to your (AHEM) Friend? :wink:

Freya xxx

[Tazmanian Devil]

Ultimately to each their own. To answer the original question as to the etiquette, it appears from the range of replies so far that there isn’t one.

Hope that helps,
Christopher

Well not really :rolleyes: Talk about throw a spanner in the works :rofl: :rofl:

[stewart38]

Good lord, why do you have to be so 'un-forward' - backward? - about it? Just say what you mean, don't **** about with 'catch up sometime' when you want a date.

Some people fear rejection thats all and maybe they could start as friends and move on from there

It works for some


Remember its not like a bar in london where you may never see them again

[stewart38]

Clive, sorry to be so slow on the uptake! My "friends" telephone number is 07770 756 408 just pass it on to your "friend" and tell him she is expecting his call.
You just had to ask:cheers:

Its a mail box nos that is full :sad:

Thankfully i guess that

[DianaS]

Yup just checked it is!!!

What pointless things we can do when we're putting off writing our thesises!!!

XXXX
Freya I'm going to be listening! Tomorrow did you leave me a messege???:devil:

[Freya]

Freya I'm going to be listening! Tomorrow did you leave me a messege???:devil:

Nope Sorry hun - The Number's on the website so just went for a wee wander on the virtual web! (Well the snows all melted and it's slushy out :sad: )

XX

[DianaS]

Okay! Seriously now
just ask her, offer her yours if she refuses, and if she doesn't take it ask her for her friends with a wink!


dare you!:devil: :flower: :devil:

[WittyBird]

Lifes too short. Your only gonna get a choice of 2 answers.
Either you do it or you don't, depends if you will wonder for ages 'what if'.

But whatever you do don't ask like this....

Version 1

Him - Your legs would look so good around my neck, can I get your number for later.

Me - Tempting, but no thank you.

Version 2

Him - Your breasts look so much nicer than they did an hour ago.

Me - Must be down to your alcohol comsumption, have a good night, bye.


Both of those happened to me on Saturday night from what looked like a 15 year old :rofl:

[Tazmanian Devil]

Lifes too short. Your only gonna get a choice of 2 answers.
Either you do it or you don't, depends if you will wonder for ages 'what if'.

But whatever you do don't ask like this....

Version 1

Him - Your legs would look so good around my neck, can I get your number for later.

Me - Tempting, but no thank you.

Version 2

Him - Your breasts look so much nicer than they did an hour ago.

Me - Must be down to your alcohol comsumption, have a good night, bye.


Both of those happened to me on Saturday night from what looked like a 15 year old :rofl:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Oooh I had forgotten about that Sandra!!! :rofl:

is that bottle filled with water to make you look good :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Yours Paula :rofl:

[WittyBird]

is that bottle filled with water to make you look good :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Yours Paula :rofl:

Little sh1t :rofl:

[Tazmanian Devil]

Little sh1t :rofl:
I know but it was funny they actually belived our little story about a late night session :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Did :Challett number :cough: get a late night visitor or 4 do you know?? :rofl: :rofl:

[WittyBird]

I know but it was funny they actually belived our little story about a late night session :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Did :Challett number :cough: get a late night visitor or 4 do you know?? :rofl: :rofl:

No idea but I will never find out, seeing as I don't know what whose chalet number I gave them :whistle: :rofl:

[Tazmanian Devil]

No idea but I will never find out, seeing as I don't know what whose chalet number I gave them :whistle: :rofl:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: and here was me thinking it was :whistle:

[thewacko]

why does asking for a number have to be about romantic interest?

can't it just be I like this person and would like the opportunity to have a proper conversation with as I think I would like to be friends with them rather than just acquaintances
Now there is a chat up line I haven't tried yet:what:

:devil: damn clever those aussies:devil:

[thewacko]

Okay! Seriously now
just ask her, offer her yours if she refuses, and if she doesn't take it ask her for her friends with a wink!


dare you!:devil: :flower: :devil:
Hey Diane Darling, howz about giving ME your phone number - Just PM Me I wont tell anyone ...



... ok well have you got any hard up mates then?????????


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:









Oh Clive why do you ignore me so:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[thewacko]

:yeah: well lets face it some times us blokes do wonder it must be easier to be gay












mind you I think I will wait a few more years before I try . . . roll on 2009:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Yliander]

Theoretically, yes. Realistically, almost certainly not - in the same way that the guy asking you out for dinner might just be expressing friendship... :rolleyes: OH @$#$#% I've been confusing people left right and centre then

[David Bailey]

OH @$#$#% I've been confusing people left right and centre then
Really? You're a guy? :eek:

[pjay]

Really? You're a guy? :eek:


I will vouch for Yliander being a girl... Either that or the best looking guy I've ever met.... :whistle:

[David Bailey]

I will vouch for Yliander being a girl... Either that or the best looking guy I've ever met.... :whistle:
Uh-huh, so my comment "That's why guys ask girls for dinner" still stands...

I've no pretension to understanding the motives of girls asking guys to dinner or whatever.

[Lynn]

I've no pretension to understanding the motives of girls asking guys to dinner or whatever.To get them to your house to dance tango with them... :D

Seriously, I've offered to cook dinner next week for a guy 'on the condition that we dance tango after dinner'. Hey, at least I'm being direct in what I want.

Oops, I wasn't going to post on this thread anymore was I?

[Sheepman]

I was having a look through the numbers on my phone the other day, finding that about 120 are numbers of dancers, and just 13 non dancers, how sad is that? :tears: But I've never asked anyone for their number expecting to ask them on a date. If I do ask for a number, or give mine, it's nearly always someone that I've already danced with many times, and it's a case of there could be some specific event on, that they're interested in knowing more about. I think in the dancing world in can be much easier to consider that it's a friendship thing, so there are more grey areas if you are interested in a date.
So should I go around asking for women's numbers, making it clear there are prospects of a date? Just for research purposes you understand. No, I don't think it's worth the risk of a big scary girlfriend beating me up! :wink:

Greg

[Donna]

[QUOTE=Sheepman]I was having a look through the numbers on my phone the other day, finding that about 120 are numbers of dancers, and just 13 non dancers, how sad is that? :tears:

Nope not at all Greg! (I would say that having more dancers numbers on my mob also!)


it's nearly always someone that I've already danced with many times,

Tut! No chance for me then! I've only danced with you once! (at the party after Ceroc London) Congrats on winning seniors by the way!


and it's a case of there could be some specific event on, that they're interested in knowing more about.

:yeah:


I think in the dancing world in can be much easier to consider that it's a friendship thing,

Definiment!!!



No, I don't think it's worth the risk of a big scary girlfriend beating me up! :wink:

:rofl:

[Bubbalou]

This is an interesting post..........I have never found that ceroc has been like a speed dating service :grin: Could be an interesting concept! I have only ever (in the past 5 years) exchanged 2 numbers with any guys and they both did lots of chatting prior to asking for numbers. Sorry I can't add much more intellect on what might be acceptable etc.

But hey..........just have fun on the floor and whatever will be will be :hug:

Lou xx

[Freya]

Hmmm A speed dating ceroc night? :confused:

Do You think it would work for all us singletons? :clap:

At least that way there would be no confusion as to why people were there!!! You could ask for numbers no problem that way!:whistle:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Rhythm King]

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine started going around dancing with a t-shirt with her mobile number on. With one or two exceptions (including me :rolleyes: ) most of her male friends were gay and she spent a lot of time in gay pubs, clubs etc. She couldn't understand why she found it so hard to find a straight boyfriend :rofl:

I eventually matched her with a work chum of mine and they now have a house together!

[ducasi]

I've exchanged numbers with a girl on the night I met her after having a few dances. It was purely so we could keep in touch regards parties and the like – nothing to do with the fact that I think she's dead sexy! :innocent:

We'd talked about a party in Glasgow coming up so I offered her my number to get in touch if she thought she could make it.

I haven't seen much of her since then, but we occasionally exchange flirty text messages...

[Lynn]

Hmmm A speed dating ceroc night? :confused:

Do You think it would work for all us singletons? :clap:

At least that way there would be no confusion as to why people were there!!! You could ask for numbers no problem that way!:whistle: AFAIK this has been done already.

But I got the impression the orginal question wasn't about 'going out dancing to get a women's numbers' but rather 'being attracted, based on a dance experience and wanting to explore further options'? I could be wrong.

[Tazmanian Devil]

I've exchanged numbers with a girl on the night I met her after having a few dances. It was purely so we could keep in touch regards parties and the like – nothing to do with the fact that I think she's dead sexy! :innocent:
:awe: I had no idea sweetie you should have just said :awe:



I haven't seen much of her since then, but we occasionally exchange flirty text messages...

Thats because we live so far apart and you promised you wouldn't say anything about them text :whistle: :flower:

[ducasi]

:awe: I had no idea sweetie you should have just said :awe:

Thats because we live so far apart and you promised you wouldn't say anything about them text :whistle: :flower:
So when are you coming to Glasgow then, huh? :flower:

[Tazmanian Devil]

So when are you coming to Glasgow then, huh? :flower:
Will meet you half way between place mine and yours :wink: :kiss:




Oh and get back to your coffin, I would love to know how you keep escaping

[ducasi]

Will meet you half way between place mine and yours :wink: :kiss: Southport? :D

Oh and get back to your coffin, I would love to know how you keep escaping I arranged internet access for the coffin last night so I could read the forum while I was stuck in there. :na:

[Tazmanian Devil]

Southport? :D
Oh I so want to do Southport but I don't know if I can get the time off work :tears: :tears:



I arranged internet access for the coffin last night so I could read the forum while I was stuck in there. :na:
O.K I will let you off then still need to find you a buddy :D

[Sheepman]

Tut! No chance for me then! You only have to ask! :wink:
Sorry I didn't get to dance with you at Blackpool, I think my knees went weak every time I saw you in that outfit! :blush:


Congrats on winning seniors by the way! Many thanks! :flower:

Greg

[thewacko]

Some people fear rejection thats all and maybe they could start as friends and move on from there

It works for some



:grin: it worked for me:love:

[Cruella]

I've just checked my mobile phone, i have phone numbers for 59 male dancers :blush:
But i have a similar amount of female dancers numbers too. So Clive tell your mate to ring me and i'll ask for the ladies number for him!:whistle:

[thewacko]

I've just checked my mobile phone, i have phone numbers for 1,092,059 male dancers :blush:

:blush: I have just checked my mobile phone and I have 28 customers, 8 Family members 1 male dancer and 4 female dancers, :innocent: oh and 365 0878 numbers which keep costing me a fortune:innocent:

[Alice]

[QUOTE]Hmmmm, I've "gotten" phone numbers for people I've danced with a few times...
Sometimes with a few months in between.... :whistle:



I think that if you're interested you should make the opportunities to talk to him/her further, so that there is more than just dancing to base the question on.
Definitely. If there's interest there and you're planning to ask for a phone number talking is encouraged both during and after the dance:) And there's always that part at the end of the night when everyone is still milling around... :wink:

I'd be a little suspicious if someone asked me for my number if they hadn't bothered to chat to me beforehand.

[thewacko]

I'd be a little suspicious if someone asked me for my number if they hadn't bothered to chat to me beforehand.
:whistle: hey alice can I have your number:devil: :whistle:

[Alice]

:whistle: hey alice can I have your number:devil: :whistle:
Yeah, sure, always glad to make exceptions:)
:devil:

Ahem, I hope I didn't say that out loud just now

[thewacko]

:clap:
Yeah, sure, always glad to make exceptions:)
:devil:

Ahem, I hope I didn't say that out loud just now
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :devil: hee hee that sly move worked yet again:devil:

[Barry Shnikov]

Anyone brave enough to post the male thought process?

There are four types of male thought process, as far as I can tell. Each belongs to a different type of male.

One is 'This chick's gagging for it, I'll get her number in a moment.':yum:

Two is 'Omigod suppose I ask her and she sniggers.':what:

Three is 'Nothing ventured, nothing gained':)

and

Four is 'Heh heh. I'll put her in a spin and I can brush her tits as they go past...'
:eek:

[Barry Shnikov]

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine started going around dancing with a t-shirt with her mobile number on.

Now wouldn't that make life easier...:whistle:

[Tazmanian Devil]

Four is 'Heh heh. I'll put her in a spin and I can brush her tits as they go past...'
:eek:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[stewart38]

I've just checked my mobile phone, i have phone numbers for 59 male dancers :blush:



Not mine :tears:

[Tazmanian Devil]

I've just checked my mobile phone, i have phone numbers for 59 male dancers :blush:
But i have a similar amount of female dancers numbers too. So Clive tell your mate to ring me and i'll ask for the ladies number for him!:whistle:
38 guy dancers for me and a simular number of female dancers :D

[TheTramp]

Oops.

126 female dancers. 24 male dancers.

:blush:

[fletch]

a friend of mine started going around dancing with a t-shirt with her mobile number on.

Now thats a good idea :grin:

Do you know if you can get them in differnt colours:rolleyes:

:D

[cheeks]

19 male dancers 16 female dancers :wink: pretty even!

[Rhythm King]

Now thats a good idea :grin:

Do you know if you can get them in differnt colours:rolleyes:

:D
Any colour you like, so long as it's black (of course)

[fletch]

Any colour you like, so long as it's black (of course)
I'm not that big on black, but I could have different colour numbers I suppose:waycool:


:D

[Tessalicious]

:blush: 32 male, 16 female (and I live with two of the females, so they probably don't count :whistle: ). Problem is, when I dance with women, they just don't take me seriously :na: .

I think I'm actually more worried about the 10 names in my phone book that I don't even recognise...

[fletch]

: Problem is, when I dance with women, they just don't take me seriously :na: .

I think I'm actually more worried about the 10 names in my phone book that I don't even recognise...

I do hun! your a very sexy dancer:worthy:

and only 10 you don't recognise :sick: I have more numbers I don't recognise than pairs of shoes and thats going some:rofl:

[cheeks]

I think I'm actually more worried about the 10 names in my phone book that I don't even recognise...


:yeah: so glad i'm not the only one counted 12 then gave up!:blush:

[thewacko]

I'm not that big on black, but I could have different colour numbers I suppose:waycool:


:D
:love: I will just give you my number and then you won't need a t shirt cos no one else will get a chance to get through:whistle: :waycool: :waycool:


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:yeah: