So, what are you...?

[Sparkles]

I've started this in 'Chit Chat', but something tells me it'll only be a matter of a few posts before this gets sent 'Upstairs' - ho hum...
... just for the record I mean this in a dancing sense and it was inspired by Dancing Teeth's lastest thread on leading to dance or dancing to lead...

So, how would you describe yourself?

[Cruella]

I've started this in 'Chit Chat', but something tells me it'll only be a matter of a few posts before this gets sent 'Upstairs' - ho hum...
... just for the record I mean this in a dancing sense and it was inspired by Dancing Teeth's lastest thread on leading to dance or dancing to lead...

So, how would you describe yourself?
:confused: explain what you mean Sarah, in simple terms just for me!

Edit The poll has appeared now. Doh!

[Sparkles]

OK, so if I were answering this question I would say that when I'm following I'm usually quite submissive - I rarely 'steal the lead' and am apologetic if I miss a lead; the aim of the dance for me being to follow the leader as accurately as I can.
If I'm leading, however, I would say I was quite dominating, I don't allow the follower much breathing space to 'play' with the moves or the music and I hope :blush: I give a firm but not-too-strong lead.
Other people may perceive my dancing differently, but that's how I think I dance.
I guess, as DT suggests it should be more about having a conversation, ie. each person in the partnership giving and receiving information, but I'm not that good yet :(.

Any clearer?
S. xx :flower:

[Cruella]

On the whole i think i'm a submissive follower but there are times when i want to play and sabotage the man. So then i become dominant just for a short while. But the guys may think differently, as we don't all see ourselves as others see us!:innocent:

[jivecat]

I think I'm definitely a submissive follower and see it as my job to do what the man wants (NB this rule only applies on the dance floor) as then there will be no cause for complaints that I haven't done it right - 'cos he led it. I still find myself saying "Is that what you wanted me to do?" I like to get "yes" or "no" for an answer, rather than "whatever".

However, this might be changing fast, and I'm beginning to feel a bit constrained by dominating leaders who don't give me any space. I think some men have a very macho view of their own prowess as a leader which causes them to be very controlling - sometimes this is fine, sometimes less fine. And sometimes I think guys like to stick with what they know and don't have the resources yet to react to a situation which turned out differently from what they expected. This is fine with me also, mindful as I am of how excruciatingly dreadful my own leading is.

Some guys are brilliant at giving lots of space and "permission" which I'm just starting to appreciate. Special mention to RobD here!

For a long time in MJ I thought my goal was to follow a lead with total obedience. Just when I thought I might have arrived there somebody moved the goalposts and told me I should be contributing more to the dance.:confused: :tears: Oh well, better than being bored, I guess.

I'm beginning to learn a lot by watching other people "play".
[Enlightenment mode on]Ohhh! so that's what they're banging on about! I could do that![EMO]

[David Bailey]

Didn't we have this discussion already in the "Active Vs. Passive (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5169)" poll?

But I haven't really changed my views from this post (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showpost.php?p=117133&postcount=17).

My only whinge, as before, is that "submissive" / "passive" doesn't equal "bad", neither does "dominant" / "active" equal "good"; for either lead or follow. For an example, see ZW.

[Gadget]

I think that it depends on the follower:

- I dance with one lady that follows everything I lead brilliantly... but that's all she does, even when I present an opening, she walks through it.

- I dance with another and they add in style all the time so I have to constantly addapt what I'm doing to accomodate them or become dominant and take over for a few bars.

- I dance with another whom I have to dominate over to lead properly.

- I dance with another that has a light, responsive touch and only plays in the openings I give.

Each one is different and I dance differently with each one. :flower: I love dancing with each of them.


However, that being said: a totally reactive follower makes the dance seems very one-sided to me - I only get input from my last move and the music; there is little musical connection between us as partners. With a more active follower, we can feed off each other and put in synchronous stuff, syncopations, and generally "play" a lot more.


{DJ & the Tango Crew: Dosn't AT have a more clearly defined dominatory role from the lead? the follow is only allowed to play in the space the lead clears for them?}

[David Bailey]

{DJ & the Tango Crew:
:rofl: :clap:


Dosn't AT have a more clearly defined dominatory role from the lead? the follow is only allowed to play in the space the lead clears for them?}
Hmmm... dunno, but I don't think so - based on my vast experience of a few classes and one freestyle, I'd say it's the opposite. The lady has more opportunity to play, because the lead is always invitational, never forceful. If the lady wants to add in decorations to every ocho turn, she can.

[AndrewMc]

"passive"


So if you are from Finchley or Finchley Lane do you know a girl called Ann Marie Gwatkin? She has a sister Stephanie and had bit parts in a couple of movies. Blonde and short, would be about 40 now.

[Little Monkey]

So, where's the option for "Generally confused"? :rolleyes:

I think I change my dancing according to who I dance with. If I feel very relaxed and comfortable (and brave!) with my partner, I can sabotage moves, and 'do my own thing' (whatever that might be!).

Other times I just feel really nervous or not so relaxed and comfortable, and I'll just try to follow the lead. With these partners I just 'freeze' if they give me space to play, and stand there like a complete idiot, thinking 'Eeeeeek!:eek: Better think of something to do, quick! Ohmygawd, can't think of anything! Oh, I'm looking ridiculous! Can't he just bloody lead me into another move and stop embarrassing me like this!!!' etc.

And of course it also depends on my mood that night, the music, my back, how tired I am and lots more things that I can't remember 'cus I'm tired and braindead (as usual).

LM

[Alice]

So, where's the option for "Generally confused"? :rolleyes:

I think I change my dancing according to who I dance with. If I feel very relaxed and comfortable (and brave!) with my partner, I can sabotage moves, and 'do my own thing' (whatever that might be!).

Other times I just feel really nervous or not so relaxed and comfortable, and I'll just try to follow the lead. With these partners I just 'freeze' if they give me space to play, and stand there like a complete idiot, thinking 'Eeeeeek!:eek: Better think of something to do, quick! Ohmygawd, can't think of anything! Oh, I'm looking ridiculous! Can't he just bloody lead me into another move and stop embarrassing me like this!!!' etc.

And of course it also depends on my mood that night, the music, my back, how tired I am and lots more things that I can't remember 'cus I'm tired and braindead (as usual).

LM
:yeah:
Oh so true...
I'm getting a lot better at sabotaging moves and playing in general- although right now I'm trying out a lot of new stuff and experimenting with footwork, so it doesn't always work out!

One thing I do need to work on though is how to make it clearer that I'm taking over the lead- I think that a lot of the time the people I dance with fairly regularly just expect the lady to play/hijack in certain moves- so my "lead" isn't as clear as it should be when I dance with people who aren't...er...expecting it.

But some nights I'm quite happy to be lead the whole time...mostly when I'm tired and couldn't be bothered to think!! :sick:

[David Bailey]

So if you are from Finchley or Finchley Lane do you know a girl called Ann Marie Gwatkin?
:rofl:
I only found out the name of the demo at Finchley from the forum - and I had problems remembering the name of the teacher, despite having danced with her for 10 years. What do you think the odds are of me remembering any other names? :blush:

[Lynn]

On the whole i think i'm a submissive follower but there are times when i want to play and sabotage the man. I'm pretty much the same. It totally depends on the music and the partner, and the venue. Eg I'm unlikely to be a totally submissive follower dancing with many guys in a blues room, but there is only one partner here in NI that I would ever 'play' with (and he does give 'invites to play').

With guys I have danced with before, there are some that I just always follow and some I will almost always have some time to play.

With a beginner I'm always a submissive follower because they are just learning to lead.

With a guy I've never danced with before, depending on the music, I've started sussing out through the early part of the dance whether they are likely to let me play. Much as I love to play, I'm not going to just stop following and do my own thing if that's going to annoy them or spoil the dance for them - that ruins the whole point of it being a partner lead and follow dance.

So I guess I'm generally rather submissive, because I won't do my own thing unless its invited or I can tell they don't mind.

(Gadget - in Tango, I'm very submissive at the moment - I haven't learnt much in the way of 'decorations' yet and I'm concentrating completely on connection and following, but I think that's a stage I have to go through in my learning experience.)

[Sparkles]

For a long time in MJ I thought my goal was to follow a lead with total obedience. Just when I thought I might have arrived there somebody moved the goalposts and told me I should be contributing more to the dance.


I just 'freeze' if they give me space to play, and stand there like a complete idiot, thinking 'Eeeeeek! Better think of something to do, quick! Ohmygawd, can't think of anything! Oh, I'm looking ridiculous! Can't he just bloody lead me into another move and stop embarrassing me like this!!!' etc.

:yeah: :yeah:

Both of these are exactly how I feel at the moment.

I have to admit that while I was just attending Ceroc venues I had no idea about hijacking the lead at all. I thought the idea was to follow as best I could (and for me that took an awfully long time to learn - but I blame my ballroom background for that) and that was it - once you'd learnt to follow pretty much anything the lead threw at you then you were the best you could be.

Then I started going to other dance venues and people started giving me space to 'play' - I confess I just stood there and looked at them questioningly at first; the thought in my head was 'Yeah? and what do you expect me to do now? You're not leading me, so I guess I just have to stand here looking a fool until you do! :('.

I still feel like that sometimes... although now I know that I'm supposed to fill the gap with something of my own. I still find it very difficult to do this with an obvious 'I'm going to give you space to play now' type opening - I get a bit like a rabbit caught in the headlights and my mind goes blank, and I have no idea what to do next. But if I take an opening myself (which I'm just starting to learn how to do) or if the opening is more a subtle suggestion I find it much easier to 'play'.
I guess that's why 'invitational-leaders' are good at encouraging the follower to 'play', because the follower can do something if they want and if they don't then they can just follow the original lead and finish the move with no pressure on them to 'perform'.

[foxylady]

I loathe being submissive. I always like to play, be cheeky, even dominate for a while :whistle: .... and these days dancing with someone who can't read that from our connection is torture...

Dancing with men who 'hear' the music in the same way as me, and who give me space to play, play back, but don't let me take over is just my idea of heaven..... :drool: :drool: (you know who you are :wink: )

[Lynn]

Dancing with men who 'hear' the music in the same way as me, and who give me space to play, play back, but don't let me take over is just my idea of heaven..... :drool: :drool: :yeah: Definitely!

Whether I can play in a dance or not can make a big difference to my experience of the dance. I feel more connection to that sort of a leader because they are 'listening' to me during the dance, and its more of a collaboration.

The local guy who gives the invitation to play has learned it from observing other leads at weekenders but hasn't yet learned when in a song and what sort of song to use it in. But he's learning!

[LMC]

What Sparkles said - except the wealth of previous dance experience, which I don't have!

The worst thing is someone you've never danced with before to a track you don't particularly like, stopping the lead and actually saying "Play/do your own thing". That's more likely to turn me into a potential Musical Statues winner.

Frankly, there are some leads that I'm happy to dance with, but that I just don't *want* to "play" with - and it doesn't necessarily relate to their dancing skills or the track. I just don't want to "express myself" with them. Yes, it's personal. No, I'm not intending on worrying about it, I'm getting a little better at 'waiting' for a lead and much less embarrassed about just standing there while I do so :innocent:

[Lynn]

But if I take an opening myself (which I'm just starting to learn how to do) or if the opening is more a subtle suggestion I find it much easier to 'play'. We could have a discussion on how to indentify whether a new partner (who you haven't danced with before) is the sort who won't mind you taking an opening? Taking an opening with a guy who doesn't like it is selfish and can really throw him off his lead and make him not enjoy the dance. So we do need to be able to work out if a lead is OK with it.

About a year ago I hadn't figured out how to do this and used to verbally say 'do you mind if I play/do my own thing a bit' near the start :rofl: Now I'm sussing out through the early part dance - but I'm not entirely sure how I do this though - changing my responses to their lead a bit I suppose - not in where I am moving but how I am moving. Anyone got any techniques or tips for this?

[Zebra Woman]

I can be active when inspired and even quite dominating at times, but my natural dancing state is relatively passive I think.


Last night I found out just how passive I am.

I was dancing with a friend, he was leading tango style giros and then stopped me. I suddenly felt inspired with confidence (after Amir's Jango class this Monday) and I did a small gancho between his legs.

He laughed and laughed and then eventually said:

'I have been waiting SIX MONTHS FOR YOU DO THAT!'

:blush: The dance was hilarious after that exchange, because I then took every possible chance to do tango kicks.

I also reminded him that we are now quits on the waiting game because many years ago I had asked him to lead me with his right thigh when we are in a close hold (nay begged him ) and he made me wait a whole year before he obliged.

Well worth the wait though. It is his signature move and he is the master at it. :drool: :worthy:

I am beginning to think sometimes a little bit of verbal between us would not be a bad thing. :rolleyes:

ZW

[Sparkles]

Anyone got any techniques or tips for this?
I don't thik I EVER try and 'play' the first time I dance with someone.
The second time, maybe, but not on the first dance. I use the first dance to try and get to know them and find out if they'll mind me taking an opening to play or not. If I don't think they'll mind I try and ask them for a second dance straight after the first, and then test out my theory :devil:. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't... such is life.

[robd]

Some guys are brilliant at giving lots of space and "permission" which I'm just starting to appreciate. Special mention to RobD here!


Why, thank you :blush:

I love it when my all too frequent 'caught in the headlights, don't know what to do next' pose is interpreted as an invitation to play :D

Rob

[Lynn]

I don't thik I EVER try and 'play' the first time I dance with someone.
The second time, maybe, but not on the first dance. I use the first dance to try and get to know them and find out if they'll mind me taking an opening to play or not. If I don't think they'll mind I try and ask them for a second dance straight after the first, and then test out my theory :devil:. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't... such is life.I suppose I would be like that if I was dancing somewhere regularly or at the start of a weekender. I guess I'm thinking back mainly to my last occasion to have the opportunity to do it and that was the last night at Scarborough (plus I was being all confident and going round asking lots of guys up to dance, not like my usual self at all). And I suppose there are lots of other factors I'm maybe not conciously thinking through too much eg if its in a blues room, if I've observed them dance with someone else etc. Like I said, I'm not sure how I do it or what I do or even really when in the dance or first/second dance...- I think I adapt to the situation - cues from the lead, type of music etc.

But I have definitely 'played' a little bit first time I have danced with people - some leads do the 'over to you' bit in the first dance.

Its all something I'm still working on!

[Gadget]

Hmmm... dunno, but I don't think so - based on my vast experience of a few classes and one freestyle, I'd say it's the opposite. The lady has more opportunity to play, because the lead is always invitational, never forceful. If the lady wants to add in decorations to every ocho turn, she can.
hmmm... but the lead should start before the physical action of leading {from my limited exposure} and this would make it very hard to lead an 'active' lady and does not give many "outs" for refusals to take up the invitation... I think that there must be something to do with the timing of when a follower takes over and when a lead resumes...

I know how I would lead a lady to play in AT, and it's a lot more dominant in both invitation and collection than the lead I would have in MJ... But this is probably a reflection on my skills at both dances rather than anything else. :blush:

[David Bailey]

hmmm... but the lead should start before the physical action of leading
Is this a time-travel thing? Or a telepathy thing? :innocent:

The lead for a movement should absolutely start before the movement itself (assuming that's what you meant).

I think the sequence should go something like this:

Man invites the move
Lady takes up the invitation and moves
Man moves to follow

[jivecat]

I have to admit that while I was just attending Ceroc venues I had no idea about hijacking the lead at all. I thought the idea was to follow as best I could (and for me that took an awfully long time to learn - but I blame my ballroom background for that) and that was it - once you'd learnt to follow pretty much anything the lead threw at you then you were the best you could be.
:yeah: I was completely mystified when guys told me that they had to let some ladies "do their own thing."


... the thought in my head was 'Yeah? and what do you expect me to do now? You're not leading me, so I guess I just have to stand here looking a fool until you do! :('......

.....- I get a bit like a rabbit caught in the headlights and my mind goes blank, and I have no idea what to do next.
Been there many times. But I've started running through in my mind things I could do if put on the spot in that way. Kind of planning a mental repertoire of possible responses.


But if I take an opening myself (which I'm just starting to learn how to do) or if the opening is more a subtle suggestion I find it much easier to 'play'.
I guess that's why 'invitational-leaders' are good at encouraging the follower to 'play', because the follower can do something if they want and if they don't then they can just follow the original lead and finish the move with no pressure on them to 'perform'.

I especially don't like it if it comes as an ORDER to "strut my stuff" rather than a gentle invitation, especially if, to my mind, the "performance break" doesn't fit the music as I hear it.

The key to improvisation, as ever, is the music. When the voices in the music tell me to do something (oops, must remember to take my medication) I can come up with all sorts of stuff quite happily, as long as I'm feeling relaxed with my partner.

[Lynn]

But I've started running through in my mind things I could do if put on the spot in that way. Kind of planning a mental repertoire of possible responses. I should probably do something like that. But then I probably wouldn't remember them anyway!

The key to improvisation, as ever, is the music. When the voices in the music tell me to do something (oops, must remember to take my medication) I can come up with all sorts of stuff quite happily, as long as I'm feeling relaxed with my partner.That's how I work too. If the music isn't telling me to do something, there's not really much point in my partner stopping and leaving me to 'do something' - because there is then no lead from either my partner or the music. That's when I stand there feeling stupid and 'do something' just to fill in the gap.

The rest of the time I don't actually think about it too much. In fact sometimes I glance down at my feet and think 'what are they doing this time?':rolleyes:

[Ghost]

Anyone got any techniques or tips for this?
I don't know if this is right, but I'd be interested in knowing if as a follower you find that with Leads who will let you play :

Have good floorcraft
Don't lead anticipation traps,
Lead smoother linked moves,
Tend to lead simpler moves,
You could easily let go at any point
Lead moves that naturally have space within them if you want to take it, but work fine if you don’t,
Smile a lot when you do improv or style moves out?

For me it's about creating moments where the lady feels safe enough to play. So part of that is floorcraft to make sure no-one bumps into her, part of it is getting her to relax and trust that the move isn't suddenly going to flip out into something else and part is getting in sync with the lady and music so things can flow. I've had lovely first dances where the lady did style and improv. Likewise though, it's about doing what feels right. If the lady just wants to chill out and not do any fancy stuff, that's cool too. :flower:

Dance in beauty,
Christopher

[jivecat]

I love it when my all too frequent 'caught in the headlights, don't know what to do next' pose is interpreted as an invitation to play :D

Rob
Isn't it nice when things turn out to be easier than you think they're going to be?:clap:

[Ghost]

Don't know about Tango, but for Ceroc,

I think the sequence should go something like this:

Lady and man complete last piece of move.
Man feels what will work from there eg which foot has the lady stepped back on?
Man invites the move
Lady takes up the invitation and moves
Man moves to follow

So I would say the lead actually starts before the invitation as the couple's momentum, motion, position etc is a part of it.

Be Well,
Christopher

[jivecat]

Have good floorcraft
Don't lead anticipation traps,
Lead smoother linked moves,
Tend to lead simpler moves,
You could easily let go at any point
Lead moves that naturally have space within them if you want to take it, but work fine if you don’t
Smile a lot


I'll take this list with me tonight, just in case. The smiling bit is very important as I'm less prepared to take any risks with anyone who might appear a bit judgmental or hard to please. It's a confidence thing.


Lead moves that naturally have space within them if you want to take it, but work fine if you don’t
This is all very well but I can be very dim/unimaginative about ways to fill up that space. Sometimes I wish someone would just tell me, then I could go away and think about it and decide how, if and when I wanted to do it! Otherwise, it almost feels like a test.

ZW - when your partner said he'd been waiting 6 months for you to do that gancho, didn't you feel like smacking him? Didn't you see red just for one nanosecond, the smug g*t? Sounds like you've probably forgiven him, though! ;)

[Ghost]

I'll take this list with me tonight, just in case. The smiling bit is very important as I'm less prepared to take any risks with anyone who might appear a bit judgmental or hard to please. It's a confidence thing.
Thanks, I look forward to the results :flower:

This is all very well but I can be very dim/unimaginative about ways to fill up that space. Sometimes I wish someone would just tell me, then I could go away and think about it and decide how, if and when I wanted to do it! Otherwise, it almost feels like a test.
Two ways, style and improv (or improv and real improv)
Style is playing around with a specific way to embelish a specific move. So < thinks > if a guy leads a slow comb you might use your spare left hand to carress your hair and look coyly down whilst you wiggle. You can hone it in front of a mirror. Thing is you'll always do exactly the same thing (unless you're clever and figure out multiple stylisations and cycle through them if the guy leads another slo comb in the same dance)

To me improv is "in the moment probably never to be seen again" stuff. Serious confidence, right music, right flow, partner you trust. But when it all comes together :worthy:

As for being tested - nah. I've only done that once on someone who was playing possum to see just how good she really was :worthy: :worthy: :worthy: . 'Not doing' is perfectly acceptable ie "I'm styling this out by not styling it out". It's like being the couple doing a sultry slo comb at the end of a slow track when everyone else is doing drops.

"He definitely marches to the beat of a different drummer. In fact, I think he makes his own drums" ~ Buffy

Have fun, :flower:
Christopher

[Lynn]

I don't know if this is right, but I'd be interested in knowing if as a follower you find that with Leads who will let you play :

Have good floorcraft
Don't lead anticipation traps,
Lead smoother linked moves,
Tend to lead simpler moves,
You could easily let go at any point
Lead moves that naturally have space within them if you want to take it, but work fine if you don’t,
Smile a lot when you do improv or style moves out? I'll have to think about that next time I am dancing with those sorts of leads. Yes, it does tend to be with leads who lead simpler, smoother moves. Not much with leads who do lots of two handed moves as you don't want to be doing something too stylish knowing he's going to be looking for your spare hand again.

The leading moves with space to take if you want it is pretty key, and 'smiling when you do improv or style' is very important - if he's frowning or looking bored I'm not going to do anything else.

Styling is much easier than improv (though its something I need to work on a lot!) but the improv is the most fun because its something that happens in that song, with that partner, at that time - not something rehearsed - its a creation of the moment - and that's a lot of fun!

[Magic Hans]

Me? I consider myself a reluctant lead. Yes, I will, cos that's what I've learnt to do, but the moment I get any hint that my partner wants to take over, or play, I will endeavour to lead as many moves as I can to give her that space.

... Maybe I should just start wearing skirt and blouse!!! :what:

[Northants Girly]

... Maybe I should just start wearing skirt and blouse!!! :what: start?? :whistle:

[Magic Hans]

start?? :whistle:

:mad: Start!! What do you think I am? ... a pair of jump leads!! :( [Bom! Bom!]

[ ... ok .... so who's told you I've been a brides maid then?? :blush: ... but never the bride {big sigh}]

[jivecat]

The leading moves with space to take if you want it is pretty key, and 'smiling when you do improv or style' is very important - if he's frowning or looking bored I'm not going to do anything else.


Quite. Or eyeing me narrowly to see what I'm going to manage to come up with! I always take up the "styling by not styling" option if that happens!

[Donna]

This is a very good subject.

Me and Steve are constantly going on about the lead and follow thing. Ok it's really easy when you put your mind to it, but then (especially if you're a competitor) you need to throw a lot of flashy stuff into it or *play*. It can be hard because for a start, you and your dance partner will always have different timing and feel the music in different ways. So, if the lady felt as though she was being given the opportunity or space to play around but that wasn't his intentions and he decided to pull her into another move, then it goes to look messy (especially for the lady) Many times I've felt there is a gap in our routine to put something into it and haven't been able to do so and Steve as well but I think that this comes with time. Once you get used to each other you eventually tune in as to what works for both of you.

What we have agreed on, is taking a look at some of our moves again including basic ones and moves that link one to another, and try and find different ways of styling them up using signals so that whatever I do will compliment whatever he does depending on the music again. I do think it is a good idea to produce a list of styling points to match every type of music you can think of and then it's a case of putting them into practice and then deciding on which one feels right at the time.

[thewacko]

I am a dominating leader

Tuesday ve vill go for Greenvich
Thursday ve vill head tovards Bow (oh no its closed ve vill have to vait till next veek

Vednesday ve vill go for Crayvord

Zen ve vill head tovards London



:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Lou]

I'm totally passive & submissive. :) :flower:

[drathzel]

I can be passive and dominating in my role as lead and follow, dont ask me how, i just am!:confused:

[Barry Shnikov]

Somewhat worryingly I was told last week by a better-than-average dancer that I was the most difficult man to dance with in Southampton.:sad:

Then she tried to weasel out of it by explaining that she was only referring to my unusual dancing style.

:tears:

[drathzel]

Somewhat worryingly I was told last week by a better-than-average dancer that I was the most difficult man to dance with in Southampton.:sad:

Then she tried to weasel out of it by explaining that she was only referring to my unusual dancing style.

:tears:

Hmm, i wouldnt know how to take that one... on one hand you could be a fab dancer but have your own style that some people cant connect with and others can. On the other hand i have met some guys that look like great dancers but are not that great to dance with!

I'm sure you are a fab dancer and she meant it in the nicest way!:flower:

[Magic Hans]

Somewhat worryingly I was told last week by a better-than-average dancer that I was the most difficult man to dance with in Southampton.:sad:

Then she tried to weasel out of it by explaining that she was only referring to my unusual dancing style.

:tears:

Difficult, in itself, wouldn't be a problem for me. Some goals/objectives are very difficult and very worthwhile!! [I know some dancers who find Marc F difficult to dance with (or maybe used to) - it takes them lots of focus to maintain the connection]

I hope this helps!! :flower: