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Little Monkey
13th-January-2006, 09:26 PM
"One Flaw In Women "

By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime.. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart and she will do everything with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."

And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colours. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

:flower:

ducasi
13th-January-2006, 09:56 PM
:yeah:

:worthy:

(Though sometimes I wonder about this bit... "she will be able to reason" :rofl:)

Little Monkey
13th-January-2006, 10:23 PM
:yeah:

:worthy:


rep? :whistle: :rofl:

ducasi
13th-January-2006, 10:57 PM
rep? :whistle: :rofl:
Didn't realise you'd written it yourself...

TheTramp
14th-January-2006, 01:36 AM
and able to run on diet coke and leftovers

Hmmmm. Leftover???

I thought that women ran on chocolate! :rolleyes:

Gadget
14th-January-2006, 01:49 AM
Hmmmm. Leftover???

I thought that women ran on chocolate! :rolleyes:
nonononono.... women run to chocolate :whistle:

WittyBird
14th-January-2006, 08:13 PM
nonononono.... women run to chocolate :whistle:

Men Run from everything :what:

Jazz_Shoes (Ash)
15th-January-2006, 03:04 PM
Good post , all so true :flower: x

Little Monkey
15th-January-2006, 03:29 PM
Didn't realise you'd written it yourself...

Of course I didn't! I just wanted you to give me some rep! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Jazz_Shoes (Ash)
15th-January-2006, 03:37 PM
Of course I didn't! I just wanted you to give me some rep! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I gave you rep :innocent: :flower:

Little Monkey
15th-January-2006, 05:07 PM
I gave you rep :innocent: :flower:

I know, you're a sweetie! :hug: :hug:

I was just being cheeky with Ducasi - but it worked! :D

Jenni
15th-January-2006, 09:56 PM
Fab! :flower:

drathzel
16th-January-2006, 02:47 PM
nonononono.... women run to chocolate :whistle:

:yeah:

drathzel
16th-January-2006, 02:47 PM
Men Run from everything :what:

double :yeah:

Tiggerbabe
16th-January-2006, 08:13 PM
nonononono.... women run to chocolate :whistle:
Nononononononono NO! This woman don't run, for anything!

Little Monkey
16th-January-2006, 10:46 PM
Nononononononono NO! This woman don't run, for anything!

Ditto!

Running??? *Shudder* People who do that must be mad......:eek:

thewacko
17th-January-2006, 01:27 AM
"One Flaw In Women "

They don't take "no" for an answer

:eek: you forgot the full stop after this:worthy: :worthy: :worthy:
:rofl:

senorita
17th-January-2006, 01:22 PM
Hmmmm. Leftover???

I thought that women ran on chocolate! :rolleyes:

NO not all youngman :D

ShinyWeeStar
17th-January-2006, 05:43 PM
Ditto!

Running??? *Shudder* People who do that must be mad......:eek:
:yeah:

ducasi
22nd-January-2006, 10:05 PM
Men & women compliment each other by the unique traits we were each given:

Women:
Women have strengths that amaze men. They carry children, they
carry hardships, they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love
and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they
want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are
nervous. Women wait by the phone for a "safe at home call" from a
friend after a snowy drive home. They are childcare workers,
executives, attorneys, stay-at-home moms, bikers, babes, & your
neighbors. They wear suits, jeans, and they wear uniforms. They
fight for what they believe in and they stand up against injustice.
They walk and talk the extra mile to get their children in the right
schools and to get their family the right health care. They go to the
doctor with a frightened friend. Women are honest, loyal and
forgiving. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power. But
they still know how to use their softer side to make a point. Women
want to be the best for their family & their friends and
themselves. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow
at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think
there is no strength left. They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what
makes the world spin! Women do more than just give birth. They
bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals. They give
moral support to their family and friends and all they want back is
a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to people
you come in contact with.

Men:
Men are good at lifting heavy ***** and killing bugs.

Magic Hans
22nd-January-2006, 11:24 PM
Another!!!

Women's faults are many, Men's are only two!! :grin: :grin: :grin:

Everything they say, and everything they do!!! :what: :what: :(

!an

thewacko
1st-February-2006, 09:26 PM
Another!!!

Women's faults are many, Men's are only two!! :grin: :grin: :grin:

Everything they say, and everything they do!!! :what: :what: :(

!an
:innocent: surely not everything
we have our uses as well
Now let me think . . .












. . .









:sick:








. . .







. . .






moaning - we are good at that



. . .




making a mess so you women have something to clear up:whistle:







Drinking beer so that we think ALL you women are beautiful




Drinking beer so that we think we are all sex gods




Drinking beer so that we fall asleep just before having to prove we are sex gods

:cheers: :cheers: :cheers:

ducasi
3rd-February-2006, 05:10 PM
This the "we hate men" thread?

Cool....

For some reason girls keep sending me things like this....

Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the sh ! t out of you.


Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.


Men are like ........ Vacations ...... They never seem to be long enough.


Men are like ........ Weather ...... Nothing can be done to change them.


Men are like ........ Blenders ...... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.


Men are like ........ Chocolate Bars ...... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.


Men are like ....... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.


Men are like ........ Department Stores ...... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.


Men are like ........ Government Bonds ...... They take soooooooo long to mature.


Men are like ........ Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.


Men are like ........ Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.


Men are like ... Snowstorms ...... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.


Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ...... Fun to look at, but not very bright.


Men are like ........ Parking Spots ........ All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Just figured out why I get sent these...

Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good- natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!! :D

LMC
3rd-February-2006, 06:09 PM
My favourite two aren't in there:

Men are like ........ Photocopiers...... temperamental, good for reproduction (and not much else)


Men are like ........ carpet tiles........ lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for years

Cruella
3rd-February-2006, 06:20 PM
Men are like ........ carpet tiles........ lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for years
Yes, but lay them wrongly and they'll trip you up at every step you take, causing you to lay on top of them!

thewacko
4th-February-2006, 08:42 AM
Yes, but lay them wrongly and they'll trip you up at every step you take, causing you to lay on top of them!
:yeah:
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
:devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil:
:flower: :flower: :flower: :flower:
:eek:

drathzel
6th-February-2006, 04:43 PM
Yes, but lay them wrongly and they'll trip you up at every step you take, causing you to lay on top of them!

very good made me :rofl: its sooooo true