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Tessalicious
5th-January-2006, 02:23 PM
I have a new paranoia (well, not that new, but today very pertinent).

What reactions do you have to people wearing glasses? Do they make more of a difference in a dancing situation than otherwise?

The reasoning behind my questions is that I normally wear contact lenses (always when dancing cos I’m vain :blush: ) but last night at one of my regular venues was unable to for the first time and so was in my glasses – and I felt that not only was I asked for dances less, but I danced badly when I did (not sure whether that was due to not being able to focus or because I felt self-conscious).

So, I’m curious about several things:

Are you drawn to people who aren’t wearing glasses more than those who are, and are you less likely to ask someone in glasses to dance?
Would it make a difference to the way you perceive someone you know well if you saw them in glasses for the first time?
Is this difference the same for men and women, or are men in glasses more acceptable than women?
Do you find it hard to dance in glasses, or was this just me?

(Sorry about the multitude of questions, but they’ve been bugging me all day, so I didn’t want to leave any out – answer as few or as many as you can be bothered to)

Icey
5th-January-2006, 02:32 PM
I'm blind as a bat and wear contacts. I refuse to wear my glasses other than first thing in the morning or last thing at night because I loathe them. They're horrid and I really should consider buying a new pair but I have better things to spend my money on ... like dancing :innocent: .

I have managed to knock a lead's glasses off before while dancing. I was very embarrassed and apologised profusely but he was still pretty grumpy about it.

I find that my peripheral vision is better with contacts as I don't get the blurry bit outside of the frame. Seeing someone in glasses for the first time is always different but that's about it as far as I'm concerned. I'd like to try the sexy, brainy look one day with some nice specs but I don't think I'll carry it off.

TheTramp
5th-January-2006, 02:45 PM
Do you find it hard to dance in glasses, or was this just me?

I don't have any choice. I can't wear contact as my eyes are too sensitive (just like the rest of me!).

I guess I'm just used to it, and it doesn't bother me. And I certainly don't pick dance partners based on whether or not they are wearing glasses.

David Franklin
5th-January-2006, 02:51 PM
I'm very short sighted (I haven't been able to read the single big letter at the top of a sight test since about the age of 9, and my eyes are a fair bit worse now). For ages I danced wearing glasses. Because of the level of my prescription, the lenses cost several hundred pounds even before you talk about frames, and it can also take months to get new ones. So the time I got a lens broken dancing was rather annoying - I only had a hideous spare pair! For a while after that I experimented with dancing without glasses (or contacts) - uncorrected vision. It's surprisingly easy to dance like that - the hardest thing was asking people to dance, when not having a clue who they were, or, on occasion, even which gender! But floorcraft tends to suffer a bit.

The next time I broke a lens, I was booked to go on a dance holiday in a week - the optician said "no way can I get you new glasses in that time, but I could get you contacts by then". I'd always been nervous of contacts (my sister had a very bad experience with them), but it was somewhat Hobson's choice. But I found contacts the best discovery for dancing ever - particularly as I was already interested in aerials and the like!

Being as I can now compare the two, I find my peripheral vision is far better with contacts, and the fact they won't fly off when spinning or get knocked off by my partner is great. Switching between contacts and glasses, I find my depth perception gets thrown - I tend to overestimate distances on the rare occasion I dance with glasses. The one disadvantage of contacts is I find it hard to focus close up with them compared to with glasses.

Bryony is generally happy to dance with glasses, and even do aerials as long as they are ones we "know" as opposed to ones we're learning. I'm always a bit nervous when she does so though!

dee
5th-January-2006, 02:53 PM
I have never thought about this before probably because i don't need glasses. For me i would dance with anyone with or without glasses, with or without teeth hair of anything really. Bet you look just as lovely in glasses Tess as without them :flower: sorry to hear you had less dances sure it wasn't to do with you wearing glasses :hug:

LMC
5th-January-2006, 02:53 PM
I can dance in glasses, but prefer not to - at a weekender, I'll wear glasses for the workshops so I can wear contacts for the marathon freestyles without too much pain (8 h really is my limit for the dailies, I can wear monthly contact lenses for longer but am too lazy to bother with the cleaning).

I don't really register whether someone is wearing glasses unless their glasses are "new" (to me because I'm used to seeing them in contact lenses, if not new to them). So glasses certainly wouldn't put me off dancing with someone.

As an aside, does anyone else ever find themselves trying to push the bridge of their glasses up when they are wearing contact lenses, or is that just me? :blush:

TiggsTours
5th-January-2006, 03:32 PM
I used to hate dancing in my glasses, for a number of reasons, so always wore my contact lenses.

1. I felt more attractive, and in turn, more confident in my contact lenses.
2. They always got knocked when I was dancing, or slid down my nose.
3. I was always terrified they'd get knocked off and broken, and I wouldn't be able to get home.
4. I got asked to dance less when wearing glasses.
5. My peripheral vision was apalling in glasses, so I couldn't balance as well.

There have been lots of pscyological tests run on the way people react to people of different looks, and one I saw was about people in glasses. An amazing 90+% (can't remember exactly) reacted more positively to people without glasses. The said they were more attractive, friendly, approachable and trustworthy than people with glasses, when surveyed, they all said that it doesn't bother them either way, but clearly, sub-conciously, it does.

My suggestion to everyone is, like me, ditch the glasses, and the lenses, and have the surgery! 15 mins of scary sci-fi type stuff, a couple of hours of reasonable pain, a week of drops and feeling like you've left your lenses in too long, then its all over! Ahh, bliss. :D

bigdjiver
5th-January-2006, 03:35 PM
I have a slight bias against glasses, as they are an extra hazard for the clumsy like myself, but it is only a small bias. I can believe that they make a difference in requests. OTOH I dance with spectacled ladies every week, and I do say that I am best seen as a blur.

TheTramp
5th-January-2006, 03:58 PM
My suggestion to everyone is, like me, ditch the glasses, and the lenses, and have the surgery! 15 mins of scary sci-fi type stuff, a couple of hours of reasonable pain, a week of drops and feeling like you've left your lenses in too long, then its all over! Ahh, bliss. :D

Oh god. I wish. Now. If I could just find the £2000 lying around..... :tears:

David Bailey
5th-January-2006, 04:00 PM
I have a new paranoia (well, not that new, but today very pertinent).

What reactions do you have to people wearing glasses? Do they make more of a difference in a dancing situation than otherwise?

The reasoning behind my questions is that I normally wear contact lenses (always when dancing cos I’m vain :blush: ) but last night at one of my regular venues was unable to for the first time and so was in my glasses – and I felt that not only was I asked for dances less, but I danced badly when I did (not sure whether that was due to not being able to focus or because I felt self-conscious).

So, I’m curious about several things:

Are you drawn to people who aren’t wearing glasses more than those who are, and are you less likely to ask someone in glasses to dance?
Would it make a difference to the way you perceive someone you know well if you saw them in glasses for the first time?
Is this difference the same for men and women, or are men in glasses more acceptable than women?
Do you find it hard to dance in glasses, or was this just me?

(Sorry about the multitude of questions, but they’ve been bugging me all day, so I didn’t want to leave any out – answer as few or as many as you can be bothered to)

Similar story to TT - I used to wear contacts, got the laser treatment done, don't need anything at the moment. The month before my op, I had to stop wearing my lenses, so everything was a blur. But I still managed to get a few dances in.

I'd never dance in glasses - not just because of any negative reactions of other people (which, sadly, do exist to a degree), but mainly because I wouldn't feel so confident in them, so it'd hamper my dancing and self-confidence. Which, let's face it, is not something you want to do.

Having said that, I'm old and ugly - I'm fairly sure it won't be a major problem if you're, to pick an example out of the air, a young gorgeous woman. :whistle:


Oh god. I wish. Now. If I could just find the £2000 lying around..... :tears:
£3K for Moorfields, if that makes you feel better. Hmmm, probably not...

TheTramp
5th-January-2006, 04:04 PM
Having said that, I'm old and ugly

Ditto

£3K for Moorfields, if that makes you feel better. Hmmm, probably not...
Not really :tears:

SilverFox
5th-January-2006, 04:15 PM
Are you drawn to people who aren’t wearing glasses more than those who are, and are you less likely to ask someone in glasses to dance?I'd dance with you more with your glasses on. That librarian thing you've got going on works for me.:drool: :drool:

:blush:

TiggsTours
5th-January-2006, 04:31 PM
Don't know how long ago you had it done, but things have changed a bit since then:

The month before my op, I had to stop wearing my lenses
Now its just a week

so everything was a blur. But I still managed to get a few dances in.
I couldn't even find my glasses without my glasses, unless I knew exactly where I'd put them! I had 3 spots, on my bedside table, between the alarm clock & the lamp, on the bottom right hand corner of the bed, when doing my make-up, or on top the loo, when in the shower. If someone moved them, I didn't stand a chance!

£3K for Moorfields, if that makes you feel better. Hmmm, probably not...
Or starting at £395 per eye at Optical Express, who are the leading eye surgeons in this country, dependant on prescription. As you can see, I was as blind as a bat, mine was £695 per eye. My last pair of glasses cost £300, and £220 of that was the lenses, so add on the cost of what I spent on contacts each month, and the surgery pays for itself in no time!

Dizzy
5th-January-2006, 04:32 PM
The reasoning behind my questions is that I normally wear contact lenses (always when dancing cos I’m vain :blush: ) but last night at one of my regular venues was unable to for the first time and so was in my glasses – and I felt that not only was I asked for dances less, but I danced badly when I did (not sure whether that was due to not being able to focus or because I felt self-conscious).




I hate wearing my glasses dancing too as I would get asked to dance a lot less and they used to fall off so much that I became scared to do any kind of lean, dip or spin in case they went flying across the room. I now wear contact lenses and see perfectly well with them and feel much more confident in dancing. :clap:

p.s. Tessa, you would look good with or without your glasses :hug:.

Sparkles
5th-January-2006, 04:45 PM
I'd dance with you more with your glasses on. That librarian thing you've got going on works for me.:drool: :drool:

:blush:
Suddenly feel the need to wear my glasses and my hair in a bun when I next see SF :whistle:.

I don't mind dancing in my glasses, but it does restrict my movements a bit because I, like the other people here, am scared of them coming off and getting broken.

Next time you wear your glasses T, come and find me and we'll have some dances - the people that didn't ask you last time don't know what they're missing out on :flower: :hug:.

Dreadful Scathe
5th-January-2006, 04:48 PM
Oh god. I wish. Now. If I could just find the £2000 lying around..... :tears:

optimax in Glasgow had a buy one get one free offer on when I went to get it done - £495 for both eyes. I'd be happy to go there as 2 of my friends had perfect operations there. Unfortunately my eyes are not operable, not because my eyesight is too bad (longsighted in one, shortsighted in the other) , its a problem with pressure inside. tsk. oh well :) I would get the op if you can though. look here for info (http://www.optimax.co.uk/default.aspx?page=6831). I was going to go for the epi-LASEK treatment (which is the simple cutting back of the cornea) after reading the LASIK possible side effects included the cornea flap falling off during strenous activity. eek!

Dizzy
5th-January-2006, 04:48 PM
Next time you wear your glasses T, come and find me and we'll have some dances - the people that didn't ask you last time don't know what they're missing out on :flower: :hug:.

:yeah: :yeah:

I'll always dance with you T :hug: (as well as with you Sarah :hug: )

TiggsTours
5th-January-2006, 04:52 PM
optimax in Glasgow had a buy one get one free offer on when I went to get it done - £495 for both eyes. I'd be happy to go there as 2 of my friends had perfect operations there. Unfortunately my eyes are not operable, not because my eyesight is too bad (longsighted in one, shortsighted in the other) , its a problem with pressure inside. tsk. oh well :) I would get the op if you can though. look here for info (http://www.optimax.co.uk/default.aspx?page=6831). I was going to go for the epi-LASEK treatment (which is the simple cutting back of the cornea) after reading the LASIK possible side effects included the cornea flap falling off during strenous activity. eek!
They don't cut a flap in LASIK, they soften the cornea with an alcohol solution, so how could it fall off? Its only LASEK where they cut a flap, but its also the safest, fastest recovery time, and least susceptible to infection. Where did you hear that story? smells of scaremongering to me!

Icey
5th-January-2006, 05:03 PM
LASIK or LASEK - descriptions of both make me go a bit wibbly :sick:

LMC
5th-January-2006, 05:07 PM
I have a fairly strong stomach and I'm a First Aider - but the thought of messing about with anyone's eyes (including mine apart from sorting of contact lenses or application of make up - and I couldn't do that for anyone else) is one of the very few things which makes me whimper ...... :shudder:

*runs out of thread squeaking*

SilverFox
5th-January-2006, 05:07 PM
Suddenly feel the need to wear my glasses and my hair in a bun when I next see SF :whistle:.Don't fight it Sparkles, don't fight it..... :devil:

Tessalicious
5th-January-2006, 05:08 PM
Ok, can I just say to all this talk of laser surgery - I'm having a strange reaction which combines :eeeew: (cos some of the descriptions can get really graphic) and :humph: (cos I can't get it yet). I can't wait until all this stress about having to tailor make-up to glasses/lenses, whether I've been wearing my lenses too long and whether I have any peripheral vision is over.

On the other hand, thanks for reassuring me that it's not just me that doesn't like wearing them. I can totally believe the statistics from the study about people's negative perceptions (although I haven't had a chance to read it, since I'm supposed to be reading papers about how smoking pot makes people psychotic, which is obviously more like real work).

My personal experience is that someone with glasses on, particularly with a prescription for distance as strong as mine, is not only behind a barrier, but also has significantly smaller-seeming eyes, which just isn't as attractive.

Zebra Woman
5th-January-2006, 05:15 PM
Suddenly feel the need to wear my glasses and my hair in a bun when I next see SF :whistle:.

I don't mind dancing in my glasses, but it does restrict my movements a bit because I, like the other people here, am scared of them coming off and getting broken.

Next time you wear your glasses T, come and find me and we'll have some dances - the people that didn't ask you last time don't know what they're missing out on :flower: :hug:.

Dance with me too please when you've finished.

And keep your glasses on. :drool: :devil: :yum:

ZW

Icey
5th-January-2006, 05:19 PM
My personal experience is that someone with glasses on, particularly with a prescription for distance as strong as mine, is not only behind a barrier, but also has significantly smaller-seeming eyes, which just isn't as attractive.

My prescription for contacts is -5.75 in both eyes :( without glasses or contacts I can't even read a book unless it is about 2 inches from my face.

robd
5th-January-2006, 05:29 PM
I don't think I have ever really noticed whether or not someone is wearing glasses when asking for a dance and with those who I do recall wearing them I can't ever remember it posing a practical problem when dancing. If people are asking/not asking you to dance solely because of your appearance (assuming you were at a venue you have been to before and thus not facing the usual newbie unfamiliarity) you may be better off without those people as partners anyway :confused: .

I have only danced at the same place (MJC) as you once, Tessalicious and I recall first noticing how attractive you were during the daytime classes when, IIRC, you had your glasses on.

Robert

TiggsTours
5th-January-2006, 05:39 PM
Ok, can I just say to all this talk of laser surgery - I'm having a strange reaction which combines :eeeew: (cos some of the descriptions can get really graphic) and :humph: (cos I can't get it yet).
Can I just ask, have you actually had the tests to see if you can have it? There's alot of false stories that fly around that make people think they can't, when about 95% of people can. My prescription was -4.75 & -5.75, and a slight astigmatism in the left eye (which was marginally stronger than the right).

As for the queeziness, when you're talking about eyes, it can't help but be queezy, but please be very assured that in reality its not! Its a little frightening, yes, but that's only because of what you build it up into in your head. Its a little sore for a couple of hours, but I've felt worse, I didn't even take any pain killers, and its a little dry for about a week, but really no worse than wearing your lenses for too long. I used to have to set a reminder on my phone every 4 hours to make me put my drops in!

It really is just so easy, and 2 months later, I hardly even think about it, I've even stopped trying to push my glasses up my nose!

KatieR
5th-January-2006, 05:42 PM
Also being of the visually impaired category, I dance in Contacts, basically because glasses come flying off my face everytime I do a double spin. I always feel I dance more cautiously with glasses in case they end up half way across the dance floor and get trodden on.

I generally haven't noticed a difference though whether wearing glasses or contacts in the number of dances I have.

TiggsTours
5th-January-2006, 05:42 PM
I don't think I have ever really noticed whether or not someone is wearing glasses when asking for a dance and with those who I do recall wearing them I can't ever remember it posing a practical problem when dancing. If people are asking/not asking you to dance solely because of your appearance (assuming you were at a venue you have been to before and thus not facing the usual newbie unfamiliarity) you may be better off without those people as partners anyway :confused: .

I have only danced at the same place (MJC) as you once, Tessalicious and I recall first noticing how attractive you were during the daytime classes when, IIRC, you had your glasses on.

Robert
If you ask anyone if they noticed, they'd say they didn't, but its amazing what your sub-concious notices that you don't.

All I know (and a few others have said the same) is that when I went dancing with my glasses on, I got asked to dance alot less. Maybe its partly down to the fact that when I didn't have my glasses on, I felt more confident in myself, and so my persona was more approachable, its hard to say.

LMC
5th-January-2006, 05:48 PM
All I know (and a few others have said the same) is that when I went dancing with my glasses on, I got asked to dance alot less.
I'd agree with that - I wore my glasses last night 'cos my eyes were sore and getting dances was hard work - and this is the venue I taxi at so people know me!

EDIT: which is odd, considering I don't notice. Oh well.

onkar
5th-January-2006, 05:53 PM
Been dancing about 2 years ago, and have worn glasses for 20 years! Have not really noticed any difference in people asking me to dance or not if I am wearing them.

Found that as my dancing got better and I started to incorporate more intermediate moves into my freestyle that the glasses would quite often go flying (usually during a duck, or if the ladies chest/arm whipped past my face :) ) .

Looked at contact lenses, but didn't want to wear lenses all day as I work in AC offices (also I hated the idea of lossing a lense on the dance floor) . My opticion put me onto Ortho-K lenses which you wear at night and remove 1st thing in the morning, and have perfect vision all day. Works a treat!

Onkar

Cruella
5th-January-2006, 05:58 PM
I wear my glasses all the time except when i go dancing or for a night out. I'm too lazy to be bothered to put contacts in every day and they can get uncomfortable if you wear them for too long. I remember once wearing contacts to work and so many of the children asked where my glasses were! So i can't see that people wouldn't notice either way whether you were wearing them!
I feel far more confident in contacts, glasses make me feel ugly.:sad:
I noticed an improvement in my dancing instantly when i started wearing contacts. I presume because they gave me more confidence, felt a bit more attractive and i wasn't forever pushing them back up my nose!!
I'd love surgery, but after thinking about it for 2 years, finally plucked up the courage to get it done. Only to be told that my prescription was too high:tears: (long sighted)

jacksondonut
5th-January-2006, 06:01 PM
I can dance in glasses, but prefer not to - at a weekender, I'll wear glasses for the workshops so I can wear contacts for the marathon freestyles without too much pain (8 h really is my limit for the dailies, I can wear monthly contact lenses for longer but am too lazy to bother with the cleaning).

I don't really register whether someone is wearing glasses unless their glasses are "new" (to me because I'm used to seeing them in contact lenses, if not new to them). So glasses certainly wouldn't put me off dancing with someone.

As an aside, does anyone else ever find themselves trying to push the bridge of their glasses up when they are wearing contact lenses, or is that just me? :blush:

I tend to do, more or less, the same as you.. I started dancing about 7 years ago.. in the beginning I only had glasses (worn them since 12 years of age) and found them to be pretty dangerous at times, especially as i was learning and apt to make plenty of mistakes!!:blush:

Over the years I came to the conclusion, that I would always want to keep dancing as part of my life... so investigated contact lenses. It didnt take me long to get the hang of it.. :clap: It changed everything and gave me so much more confidence and i was finally able to really get into it.. relax, have fun and not feel clumsy and unattractive (yes, I did feel a little paranoid..)

And yes, I do often push up my (imaginary) glasses, when I am wearing lenses and feel daft, its not just you!! :rofl:

And no, I have never been put off dancing with anyone, regardless of them wearing glasses, etc., Wearing them myself, I know how it feels to be rejected, whether its to do with glasses or not. A lot of people I know quite well have looked at me twice when I have worn my glasses and some have even not recognised me at all... especially at a weekender, as I too wear my glasses during the day... that is until I pounce on them...:rofl:

philsmove
5th-January-2006, 06:01 PM
A few people have mentioned glasses flying off

I have worn glasses all my life and have sports ones with curly ends

Early on I tried dancing without them, but stopped after a gender mix up

Well he did have beautiful long blond hair :blush:

TiggsTours
5th-January-2006, 06:04 PM
I'm going to say something that is controversial here.

Saying you don't notice that someone is wearing glasses is like saying you don't notice the colour of their skin. Its *******s.

You notice, you notice if they are black/white, male/female, bald/blonde/brunette/redhead, fat/thin, have facial hair/don't wearing glasses/not. Period!

It doesn't necessarily mean it makes any difference to you, but you do notice!

However, scientists have proved, time and time again, that you sub-conciously judge people by the way they look. It doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes you human!

LMC
5th-January-2006, 06:17 PM
Maybe that's true - but it *is* on a subconscious level and is no more a factor in my choice to dance with someone than is their skin colour i.e. makes no difference to my decision.

But I couldn't tell you whether some people wear glasses or not - because I've not thought about it on a conscious level :shrug:

CeeCee
5th-January-2006, 07:00 PM
Originally posted by Tessalicious
…I felt that not only was I asked for dances less…
Ahh Tessa, poor you.
Never seen you in glasses, so my first thought when I read your post was that perhaps they didn’t recognise you.
It worked for Clark Kent.


Originally posted by robd
I don't think I have ever really noticed whether or not someone is wearing glasses …
I agree with Robert.
I also defend my right to say (without insult or recrimination) that I don’t notice when someone is wearing glasses, simply because I know that it’s true, just the same as I rarely notice beards.

David Bailey
5th-January-2006, 07:09 PM
Now its just a week
Had it done last April - and it was a month, due to the type of lenses I wore (gas-permeable). Other types of lenses are quicker for eyes to recover from.


Or starting at £395 per eye at Optical Express, who are the leading eye surgeons in this country!
:what: I'm pretty sure that Moorfields are the best, somehow. And, you know, it's your eyes. Having said that, it's now a standard procedure; I just wanted a bit of extra comfort blanket knowing that I was with the top people.

David Bailey
5th-January-2006, 07:13 PM
There's a whole thread about laser surgery here (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6679) - lots of very useful information in it, I think.

My prescription was -8 / -9, Icey, so you've got a long way to go to beat that :)

ducasi
5th-January-2006, 07:41 PM
If you've been keeping up with my blog through November and early December, you'll have read how I was forced to wear glasses as opposed to my normal contacts for around 5-6 weeks during this time. (I suppose you might also know this if I'd danced or chatted with you too.)

As well as having to wear glasses, the vision in my right eye was rather impaired. Generally a not-good state of affairs. :(

During this time I didn't feel as confident while dancing, I found myself limited in the moves I could do (in case I bashed my glasses,) and I found my connection with my partners reduced somewhat.

Simply put, I wasn't happy dancing in glasses, and was very glad to get back to contacts. I'm also considering having my eyes zapped sometime this year.

So, to answer your questions...


Are you drawn to people who aren’t wearing glasses more than those who are, and are you less likely to ask someone in glasses to dance? Yes. Though the last girl I went out with wears glasses, so it's not like it's a big deal. But it is a bit of an initial barrier.

When it comes to asking people to dance, I'm not sure it makes as much of a difference. I'm only aware of two girls who regularly (always?) wear glasses at my normal venue. I dance with them as much as anyone else. (In fact, probably more-so.)

But there must be more glasses wearers than just those two, so maybe the fact I don't know them is because I avoid dancing with them without realising... Or maybe I just don't notice this about them... Must try to pay attention next week...

As for people asking me, I have no awareness of being asked less, but then while in glasses my tendency to hide more and my reduced confidence probably reduced my chances. I tend to do most of the asking anyway I think...

Would it make a difference to the way you perceive someone you know well if you saw them in glasses for the first time? Beyond the initial surprise, no, not really. Once you know the person the glasses don't make a difference.

During the month or so I was wearing glasses I got lots of reactions like "oh, new glasses?" to "oh, you really suit your glasses". Anything negative I guess wouldn't have been expressed direct to me though.

Is this difference the same for men and women, or are men in glasses more acceptable than women? No idea. I don't tend to be attracted to, or want to dance with guys. I don't judge guys on whether they wear glasses or not.

I was surprised at the number of women who said they really liked my glasses – made me wonder...

Do you find it hard to dance in glasses, or was this just me? Like I said above, yes!

The lack of connection, the poor peripheral vision, the being limited to what you can do in case you bash them...

All that said, after hurting my eyes (I think by over-wearing my contacts at a weekender) I'm going to take more care of them in future, while will mean more glasses-wearing for classes and workshops and such.

Kev F
5th-January-2006, 08:20 PM
I'd dance with you more with your glasses on. That librarian thing you've got going on works for me.:drool: :drool:

:blush:

:yeah:

And T could pant softly under her breath: "your books are overdue and you will need to be disciplined" whilst dancing and loking over her spectacles in a stern manner.

Yep....it works for me. Where are you dancing the weekend T?????

Spice 'n' Easy
5th-January-2006, 10:47 PM
:yeah:

And T could pant softly under her breath: "your books are overdue and you will need to be disciplined" whilst dancing and loking over her spectacles in a stern manner.


Right guys. Feel free to form an orderly queue behind me :yum:

frodo
5th-January-2006, 11:33 PM
I'd agree with that - I wore my glasses last night 'cos my eyes were sore and getting dances was hard work - and this is the venue I taxi at so people know me!

Or knew you :)

As CeeCee mentioned I wonder if it is partly lack of familarity / taking longer to recognise someone, rather than an inherent issue with glasses.

Limpy Tink
6th-January-2006, 12:39 AM
Oddly enough - I too have been pondering the whole glasses issue today!

I collected my son's (Barney - aged 7 & a half) 1st ever pair today. As we looked at each other in the mirror, he said to me "I do like them mummy - but I just don't look like Barney!"

I thought he looked :waycool: and handsome (and no I'm not just a bias mother!!:whistle: ),even quite sensible (well, looks can be deceptive!!:D ) but definately older than he actually is :tears: :tears:

It was true, he did in fact look - 'different'. I think that when you first see someone you know, wearing glasses and you are not used to them doing so, they def do look different, but as others are quick to point out;



I'd dance with you more with your glasses on. That librarian thing you've got going on works for me.

...and...


Yep....it works for me. Where are you dancing the weekend T?????

...and not forgetting...


Right guys. Feel free to form an orderly queue behind me

Obviously "boys will be boys" :wink: but plenty of people do find glasses pleasant to look at - (or are at the very least, not put off by them).

IMO Choosing the frames is the key and as long as you can still 'read' someones mood and guage how they are feeling etc. - largely done by seeing the expression in their eyes (behind the frames) then they are not a barrier.


Dance with me too please when you've finished.

ZW

:yeah: ..and I will try not to knock them flying across the room with my spare left arm!!:wink:

robd
6th-January-2006, 09:27 AM
I'm going to say something that is controversial here.

Saying you don't notice that someone is wearing glasses is like saying you don't notice the colour of their skin. Its *******s.

You notice, you notice if they are black/white, male/female, bald/blonde/brunette/redhead, fat/thin, have facial hair/don't wearing glasses/not. Period!

It doesn't necessarily mean it makes any difference to you, but you do notice!

However, scientists have proved, time and time again, that you sub-conciously judge people by the way they look. It doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes you human!

Boils down to semantics I guess and your definition of the word 'notice' - anyone who has failed to 'notice' their partner's new hairstyle, dress, etc knows that trying to justify their oversight by saying that they were aware of it on a subconcious level rarely cuts any ice :wink:

Robert

Barry Shnikov
6th-January-2006, 10:42 AM
I gave up wearing glasses because I got seriously @rsed with a) having to clean them every 10 minutes, b) not being able to see clearly when it rained, and c) (most of all, yeah most of all) I hate the way they steam up when you enter a building on a cold day. Or at night.

So now I mostly wear contacts.

And most recently of all, curse it, reading glasses. :what:

When finances permit I will be investigating bi-focal lenses.

Sparkles
6th-January-2006, 10:47 AM
:yeah:

And T could pant softly under her breath: "your books are overdue and you will need to be disciplined" whilst dancing and loking over her spectacles in a stern manner.

Yep....it works for me. Where are you dancing the weekend T?????
So, how long before this very innocent thread gets sent upstairs then :whistle:.

Maybe punishment should be dealt out with a ruler - I have one you can borrow should the need arise T :wink:.

LMC
6th-January-2006, 11:05 AM
Maybe punishment should be dealt out with a ruler
I would have thought you'd have known better Sparkles - you know they'll just enjoy that.

On the rare occasions I have danced in glasses, I'm not aware of a difference in my balance (but then it's not that strong a prescription, so maybe the peripheral vision thing on spinning doesn't have such a great effect). And I've never had them bashed (although I have occasionally accidently bashed the glasses of someone I'm dancing with :blush: )

So much as I hate to admit it, contact lenses are a vanity thing for me (also comfort - sweaty glasses are 'orrible!)

Tessalicious
6th-January-2006, 11:20 AM
what SF, Dizzy, Sparkles, ZW, robd, CeeCee, KevF, Spicy, and LT said:blush: - but you know, I'm feeling so much better about this whole thing now. :rolleyes:

So, that's one pair of glasses and a wooden ruler in my dancing bag for Funky-lush then :whistle:

Since I posted this I've been thinking about it some more, and I have yet another, more personal, theory. Maybe part of the reason why I've always been self-conscious about it is the old rhyme my Grandma said to me the very first time I got glasses - "Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses" - I was 6, so it didn't make an immediate impact on my lifestyle, but it must have made an impression since it has stuck with me all these years. Especially since it was true for most of secondary school - teenage boys just don't go for the librarian look, more's the pity.

El Salsero Gringo
6th-January-2006, 12:29 PM
teenage boys just don't go for the librarian look, more's the pity.Wanna bet?

TiggsTours
6th-January-2006, 12:36 PM
Wanna bet?
Well, as someone who spent my whole teenage years suffering the "librarian" look, I never noticed! It was only when I wasn't wearing my glasses I started getting any attention from boys, and it was instantaneous! That's why my parents finally relented and bought me my first pair of contacts, they got fed up with me walking into the furniture all the time!

Problem with meeting boys when you haven't got your glasses on, and don't have lenses, is that, you never really know what they look like!

El Salsero Gringo
6th-January-2006, 12:40 PM
Well, as someone who spent my whole teenage years suffering the "librarian" look, I never noticed!Ah, but there's much more to the librarian look than just wearing glasses... right boys?

TiggsTours
6th-January-2006, 12:41 PM
Ah, but there's much more to the librarian look than just wearing glasses... right boys?
So, in that case, how can someone be attractive without glasses, and instantly unattractive when they put them on?

Tessalicious
6th-January-2006, 12:50 PM
Ah, but there's much more to the librarian look than just wearing glasses... right boys?Do elaborate...

LMC
6th-January-2006, 12:50 PM
It depends on the glasses :rolleyes: - as someone (sorry, not sure if it was TT or Tessalicious) said up there, if they are a really strong prescription for short-sightedness they can make your eyes look quite small.

And if people are restricted to frames that don't suit (she said tactfully...) - really small frames seem to be "in" at the moment, and I really don't think they suit me - I'm not entirely happy with the ones I got, but they were the largest available at only a semi- rather than wholly stupid price unless I went for aviator style frames - which definitely don't suit me. Fashion :mad: - what happened to 'classic' frames :( I want some really huge black frames - librarian style in fact...

TiggsTours
6th-January-2006, 12:53 PM
It depends on the glasses :rolleyes: - as someone (sorry, not sure if it was TT or Tessalicious) said up there, if they are a really strong prescription for short-sightedness they can make your eyes look quite small.

And if people are restricted to frames that don't suit (she said tactfully...) - really small frames seem to be "in" at the moment, and I really don't think they suit me - I'm not entirely happy with the ones I got, but they were the largest available at only a semi- rather than wholly stupid price unless I went for aviator style frames - which definitely don't suit me. Fashion :mad: - what happened to 'classic' frames :( I want some really huge black frames - librarian style in fact...
If you look at my profile, you will see me in glasses. I was always being told my glasses really suited me, I looked really good in them, but never got any male attention whilst actually wearing them.

robd
6th-January-2006, 12:54 PM
Ah, but there's much more to the librarian look than just wearing glasses... right boys?

Yes, especially for those librarians that don't wear spectacles.

Or a twin set and pearls

Or a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches

Or 'Shush' you at every possible opportunity

Not that working as a librarian for 5 years made me sensitive to these stereotypes of course.............................

El Salsero Gringo
6th-January-2006, 12:58 PM
Do elaborate...I'd say you had it just about right! (Right, boys?)

El Salsero Gringo
6th-January-2006, 01:00 PM
So, in that case, how can someone be attractive without glasses, and instantly unattractive when they put them on?If they're doing the librarian look correctly, it doesn't matter whether they're wearing glasses or not...

Icey
6th-January-2006, 01:22 PM
... but never got any male attention whilst actually wearing them.
Same here :( Only when I changed to wearing contacts did I start getting some attention. I loathe my glasses and I will not wear them except to get up or to go to bed.

KatieR
6th-January-2006, 02:21 PM
Ah, but there's much more to the librarian look than just wearing glasses... right boys?

In my experience you also need to be 5' 7", have ample breasts and a size 10 waist.

SilverFox
6th-January-2006, 02:24 PM
In my experience you also need to be 5' 7", have ample breasts and a size 10 waist.Tell us more about your experience.......

KatieR
6th-January-2006, 02:28 PM
Tell us more about your experience.......

From what I have witnessed in the past gentlemen might like the librarian look but as long as it is accompanied by a leggy, chesty body...

Men don't want to see 5ft nothing, 'cuddly' librarians...

Rhythm King
6th-January-2006, 02:53 PM
Couldn't agree more with what's been said so far, re inconvenience, fear of breaking, loss of confidence, peripheral vision etc. I hate my specs and always wear lenses, except around the house. Unfortunately I can't have the operation because it would invalidate my aircrew medical.

I have recently acquired reading glasses to use with my contact lenses, but try to avoid using them unless I absolutely have to. Bi-focal contact lenses are also not approved for flying.

I am slightly nervous of dancing with girls in specs, in case I knock them flying, but that doesn't stop me asking them. I certainly wouldn't avoid dancing with someone I know, just because they were wearing specs, but I might avoid certain moves.

I have to say that the right frames do give an added air of intelligence - "the librarian factor" and that I can find this quite sexy at times; but it is nice to see the person's face and eyes too, so a combination of specs and lenses at different times works for me.

Groovy Dancer
6th-January-2006, 03:17 PM
I'd dance with you more with your glasses on. That librarian thing you've got going on works for me.:drool: :drool:

:blush:




:yeah: :rolleyes:

Tessalicious
6th-January-2006, 03:17 PM
Can I just ask, have you actually had the tests to see if you can have it?No, not yet - I'm too young for it to be worth bothering, since my prescription is still changing at a slowing but still reasonably regular rate.

Fingers crossed that in a few years' time my eyes will have settled, by which time I can then think about what I want to do. Until then, I'm stuck with lenses or librarians.

Cruella
6th-January-2006, 03:17 PM
Same here :( Only when I changed to wearing contacts did I start getting some attention. I loathe my glasses and I will not wear them except to get up or to go to bed.
Why do you put your glasses on to go to bed??

OK let's lower the tone even more than SF has so far. If you wear glasses do you remove them with the rest of your clothes or keep them on when horizontal dancing?:devil:

Lynn
6th-January-2006, 04:03 PM
I was always being told my glasses really suited me, I looked really good in them, but never got any male attention whilst actually wearing them.Yep they probably do make a difference*.:(

Mine have only ever come off twice when dancing - once they were knocked off (at salsa) and only once have they actually whizzed off when spinning (as I recall I was dancing with Trampy at the time!). But I do need to have a spare hand every so often while dancing to push them up, that and pushing my hair out of my face!


(*but I reckon I would get even less male attention if I didn't wear them!) :tears:

CeeCee
6th-January-2006, 05:36 PM
S T O P
P R E S S
On the 4 o’clock news there was a report that Specsavers have been unable to cope with the unprecedented demand from women for non-prescription glasses.

A variety of women in the London area are demanding ‘The Librarian Look’.

All pretended to look stern, dressed in tweeds, twin sets and pearls with hair scraped back in a bun, they insisted on purchasing glasses to complete the image. The connection with foxes, spices and donkeys is not yet understood.

With rulers in their handbags, they were heard to exclaim “but you don’t understand, I have to have these glasses, I've been told by reliable sources that they will help my dancing. I have to try them this weekend”

Icey
6th-January-2006, 05:40 PM
Why do you put your glasses on to go to bed??

OK let's lower the tone even more than SF has so far. If you wear glasses do you remove them with the rest of your clothes or keep them on when horizontal dancing?:devil:

Once I've taken out my contacts I can't see :( so to avoid walking into things, falling over things and being able to see where I've put my book I wear my glasses to get from the bathroom to my bed.

As for your question of horizontal dancing and taking off my glasses - don't be nosy :na:

Cruella
6th-January-2006, 05:54 PM
As for your question of horizontal dancing and taking off my glasses - don't be nosy :na:
Thinking about it, I guess the answer would depend on who the partner for the dance was! :devil:

Miss Conduct
7th-January-2006, 06:52 PM
They don't cut a flap in LASIK, they soften the cornea with an alcohol solution, so how could it fall off? Its only LASEK where they cut a flap, but its also the safest, fastest recovery time, and least susceptible to infection. Where did you hear that story? smells of scaremongering to me!

I had LASEK surgery 4 years ago at a cost of £1,000 for both eyes. I hate to think what I would have spent in that time on lenses and glasses especially as I had reached the stage of needing varifocals.

The best advice I was given by a friend who's an eye clinic nurse was, following the operation go to bed with a sleeping pill.

My advice goes one step further. Have the procedure done as late as possible and book a hotel near to the clinic, preferably with a nice young man to supply you with drinks and finger food with your sleeping pill. That way you don't have to open your eye's until the next day! Someone I know opted for a bottle of wine instead but it was so painful to open her eyes that she couldn't see to open the bottle!!!

Barry Shnikov
8th-January-2006, 12:25 PM
Well, as someone who spent my whole teenage years suffering the "librarian" look, I never noticed!

I think ESG is right about the librarian look and teenage boys. Unfortunately, I don't think teenage girls can bring off the librarian look - it's that implied threat of discipline that does the trick.:what:

What? What'd I say?

Barry Shnikov
8th-January-2006, 12:27 PM
In my experience you also need to be 5' 7", have ample breasts and a size 10 waist.

If that's your starting point, who the hell cares whether you're wearing glasses?:D

Barry Shnikov
8th-January-2006, 12:30 PM
OK let's lower the tone even more than SF has so far. If you wear glasses do you remove them with the rest of your clothes or keep them on when horizontal dancing?:devil:

Good point! I'd have to say that, my previous post notwithstanding, the most significant advantage to contact lenses is that you can keep them on while... well, just while.

philsmove
8th-January-2006, 12:33 PM
................you can keep them on while... well, just while.
WHY :confused:

do you keep your on socks as well

Barry Shnikov
8th-January-2006, 07:23 PM
WHY :confused:

do you keep your on socks as well

I have no idea why you ask that. What's the common theme between wearing contact lenses and socks while...

Dreadful Scathe
28th-December-2008, 10:39 PM
They don't cut a flap in LASIK, they soften the cornea with an alcohol solution, so how could it fall off? Its only LASEK where they cut a flap, but its also the safest, fastest recovery time, and least susceptible to infection. Where did you hear that story? smells of scaremongering to me!

Batgirls post caused me to go back and look at this. Just to clarify my experience and reply to Tiggstours. She is wrong here - LASIK is the flap one as I said (http://www.optimax.co.uk/Default.aspx?page=6838), and the story of the flap coming off during strenuous exercise is a warning in the material you get about the operation. Its not scaremongering, its just a possible side-effect, you accept it or not like any other side-effect. The Epi-Lasek one is the softening of the cornea - see here (http://www.optimax.co.uk/Default.aspx?page=6845&adcode=googleppc&OrgAdCode=googleppc&WT.srch=1)

Stuart M
29th-December-2008, 09:10 PM
Wore glasses most of my adult life: when I was most "into" dancing, I wore a pair of small Lennonesque specs to minimise the risk of them being knocked off. Nowadays I just wear my usual ones as I'm only an occasional dancer. I've never checked, but I doubt I could get an op done since, er, one of my corneas isn't actually mine...

Regarding how people react, I get mistaken for being intelligent quite often :rofl: , but I can't say whether people reacted more or less favourably when I wore contacts. I do think the style of specs makes a difference though: they really have to "fit your face", so having someone along while trying out is a big help.

As to being squeamish about your eyes...well, you know the big metal syringe that dentists used to do gum injections? Do you know what an opthalmologist does to treat an incipient rejection of a corneal graft with steroids? I'll let you work it out :wink: :eek:

Juju
29th-December-2008, 09:20 PM
As to being squeamish about your eyes...well, you know the big metal syringe that dentists used to do gum injections? Do you know what an opthalmologist does to treat an incipient rejection of a corneal graft with steroids? I'll let you work it out :wink: :eek:

Oh. My. God. And you can't even close your eyes. :tears:

I have perfect eyesight - and am mightily relieved about it, having read this thread! And I honestly don't think it's ever occured to me to take glasses, or the lack of them, into account when choosing a potential dance partner.

batnurse
30th-December-2008, 03:12 PM
I'm blind as a bat

:tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: Bats aren't blind!



Sorry, rant over :blush:

Icey
1st-January-2009, 08:46 PM
:tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: Bats aren't blind!

Sorry :blush: but I am virtually blind without the contacts or glasses :sad:

Rhythm King
2nd-January-2009, 04:08 PM
:tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: Bats aren't blind!


Pardon? Squeak up...

batnurse
2nd-January-2009, 11:38 PM
Pardon? Squeak up...

:rofl:

Batgirl
3rd-January-2009, 01:39 AM
Sorry :blush: but I am virtually blind without the contacts or glasses :sad:
:yeah:

Rachel
x

Martin
5th-January-2009, 06:36 AM
I would venture to suggest that when you are wearing glasses, it is you giving off "insecure vibes" and "counting dances" that is the difference.
It might be that you act differently when you wear glasses.
Your body language may well be different.
What I am saying is, I think it is a self created problem and nothing to do with how others react to just "glasses".
You have already talked yourself into a state of unatractiveness before you arrive. You then project that vibe, which is picked up by others.

It has never crossed my mind, not to dance with someone, just because they are wearing glasses.

NZ Monkey
7th-January-2009, 10:07 PM
I don't know about anyone else, but reading this thread has stuck an image of Tessalicious as a sexy strict librarian firmly in my mind and I just can't get rid of it.

Not that I'm trying particularly hard :drool: