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cheeks
5th-January-2006, 01:18 PM
Gender-Specific Dictionary


Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.
female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
male: Food, sex and beer.

Thingy (thing-ee) n.

female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strapfastener on a woman's bra.

Lesbian (lez-bi-an) n.

female: A woman who makes love to other women.
male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get really turned on.

Glass ceiling (glas see-ling) n.

female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.

Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.

female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
male: Playing ball without a cup.

Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.

female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.

Butt (but) n.

female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
male: The organ of mooning (and farting).

Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.

female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.

female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

Making love (may-king luv) n.

female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.

Taste (tayst) v.

female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good.
male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

philsmove
5th-January-2006, 01:36 PM
Shoes

Male - item to protect feet

Female ??????????????????

cheeks
5th-January-2006, 01:37 PM
Before and After you fall in Love!

BEFORE - You take my breath away
AFTER - I feel like I'm suffocating

BEFORE - Twice a night
AFTER - Twice a month

BEFORE - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation
AFTER - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

BEFORE - Saturday Night Fever
AFTER - Monday Night Football

BEFORE - Don't stop
AFTER - Don't start

BEFORE - Is that all you're having?
AFTER - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

BEFORE - It's like I'm living in a dream
AFTER - It's like he lives in a dorm

BEFORE - I dozen red roses
AFTER - 1 rose

BEFORE - Turbocharged
AFTER - Jumpstart

BEFORE - We agree on everything
AFTER - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

BEFORE - Victoria's Secret
AFTER - Fruit-of-the-Loom

BEFORE - Charming and Noble
AFTER - Chernobyl

BEFORE - Feathers and handcuffs
AFTER - Ball and chain

BEFORE - Idol
AFTER - Idle

BEFORE - I love a woman with curves
AFTER - I never said you were fat

BEFORE - He's completely lost without me
AFTER - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

BEFORE - Time stood still
AFTER - This relationship is going nowhere

BEFORE - Croissant and cappuccino
AFTER - Bagel and instant

BEFORE - You look so seductive in black
AFTER - Your clothes are so depressing

BEFORE - Oysters
AFTER - Fishsticks

BEFORE - I can hardly believe we found each other
AFTER - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

BEFORE - Passion
AFTER - Ration

BEFORE - Once upon a time
AFTER - The end

cheeks
5th-January-2006, 01:39 PM
Shoes

Male - item to protect feet

Female ??????????????????

:whistle:

Female- necessity to dance :devil: