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Little Monkey
12th-December-2005, 09:57 PM
Ok, you guessed it: This is the thread to MOAN ABOUT CHRISTMAS!

Go on, you know you want to! Lots of people, including moi, have already moaned about christmas in other threads, but now you can concentrate all your moaning here, and creative a really negative christmas hating force field! Hooray!


I'm a funny mixture of 'Bah Humbug' and 'Woo-hooo, it's Christmas!' I hate the present hype, and I loathe being made to feel guilty by my family (my mum in particular) about going to see them for christmas.... I sometimes try to tell them that I simply can't afford buying them all pressies and get a ticket to Norway to go and see them....... But they don't really want to listen, although they half-heartedly say things like 'oh but we don't need presents....'

My Christmas greeting (written on the blackboard in the corridor, costing me not a single penny!) to my fellow artists at the studio where I work this year, reads:

BAH HUMBUG
AND A MERRY TURKEY TO YOU ALL!

jivecat
12th-December-2005, 11:57 PM
Christmas seems to have been going on for months already yet it's only the 12th of December.

I like certain aspects of it (like hanging out with over-excited 6 year olds with tea-towels on their heads, very traditional) but can't abide the commercial bit and once the final bit of turkey is consumed by about 3:00 on Christmas day I will be desperate for a return to normality.

I would like to spend the entire week going out dancing but seeing as the cost of dancing doubles, if not trebles, during this time I probably won't be able to afford to.
I can see that the price of hiring the hall etc MAY go up at this time but it seems to me that I would end up paying a hefty premium for a glass of cheap, luke-warm glass of sparkling wine out of a plastic cup and a cardboard mincepie, neither of which I wish to consume.

My ideal Christmas would be a fortnight's holiday in a Muslim country.

TheTramp
13th-December-2005, 12:40 AM
My ideal Christmas would be a fortnight's holiday in a Muslim country.

Can I come too? We can hire a hall, and dance :D

jivecat
13th-December-2005, 12:56 AM
Can I come too? We can hire a hall, and dance :D

Oh dear - I don't suppose that would be allowed. Perhaps I'd better rethink. What's the Buddhist position re dancing?

LMC
13th-December-2005, 09:54 AM
I don't *exactly* hate Christmas. What I hate is the pressure surrounding it - the pressure of consumerism and the pressure to make Christmas "perfect" for your loved ones - or you're a Bad Person and a failure as a human being.

It's one day. It happens every year. Less media shouting about it in October/November would be appreciated.

Unfortunately, a lot of other festivals are going the same way - Halloween, Valentine's Day, etc etc - too much effort expected.

Missy D
13th-December-2005, 09:58 AM
Christmas seems to have been going on for months already yet it's only the 12th of December.

I like certain aspects of it (like hanging out with over-excited 6 year olds with tea-towels on their heads, very traditional) but can't abide the commercial bit and once the final bit of turkey is consumed by about 3:00 on Christmas day I will be desperate for a return to normality.

I would like to spend the entire week going out dancing but seeing as the cost of dancing doubles, if not trebles, during this time I probably won't be able to afford to.
I can see that the price of hiring the hall etc MAY go up at this time but it seems to me that I would end up paying a hefty premium for a glass of cheap, luke-warm glass of sparkling wine out of a plastic cup and a cardboard mincepie, neither of which I wish to consume.

My ideal Christmas would be a fortnight's holiday in a Muslim country.


:yeah: I am already booking Christmas 2006 out of this country! Somewhere hot!

Msfab
13th-December-2005, 10:25 AM
Can I come too? We can hire a hall, and dance :D

Oh dear - I don't suppose that would be allowed. Perhaps I'd better rethink. What's the Buddhist position re dancing?

You can book the hall and dance but the men will have to dance together in a separate room to the ladies! :rolleyes: <!-- / message -->

TheTramp
13th-December-2005, 10:27 AM
You can book the hall and dance but the men will have to dance together in a separate room to the ladies! :rolleyes: <!-- / message -->
Nah. We'll just close the curtains, and do what we like behind closed doors.... :wink:

Lynn
13th-December-2005, 11:53 AM
Great minds...:whistle:


I did actually think of starting a Christmas whinge thread for everyone to have a moan about tree lights that won't work (grrr :mad: ), rubbish on TV etc, but I thought there was plenty of room for that on other threads and Father Christmas might neg rep us all if we moan and not bring us any pressies.

OK - my moan is Christmas tree lights. Unlike many other areas of my domestic life, I am very organised about decorations - everything packed away in labelled bags and boxes - mainly because it makes it much less stressful when it comes to putting them up and taking them down again. But lights - grrr - I have a lovely set, had them several years, every year one strand isn't working - I spent ages on Sunday trying to tighten every bulb with no success.

But I'm not going to get stressed about it, I'm going to buy a cheap set from Tesco's!

drathzel
13th-December-2005, 01:25 PM
:yeah: I am already booking Christmas 2006 out of this country! Somewhere hot!

I think this is a great idea. I might do it myself next year too! Grr Christmas is the most depressing time of year for me.:tears: :mad:

KatieR
13th-December-2005, 01:38 PM
Why do people get snakey with you when you dont give them a Christmas card?

CJ
13th-December-2005, 01:49 PM
Wisher - CJ
Wishee - Forumite

From me ("the wisher") to you ("the wishee") please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:- This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.

This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wisher are acknowledged.

This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes.
This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

The wisher warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher. Any references in this greeting to "The Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Saviour", "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

This greeting is made under European and International Law.
Dated this twenty first day of December two thousand and five.

DavidY
13th-December-2005, 01:51 PM
Christmas is obviously too scary these days...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4521036.stm

Father Christmas
13th-December-2005, 10:50 PM
:what:
:really:
:tears:
:tears:
:rolleyes:

Piglet
14th-December-2005, 12:45 AM
Christmas is obviously too scary these days...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4521036.stm
Yep, sorry but I've got to agree with the Beeb - men in beards are well scary!

Gadget
14th-December-2005, 01:01 AM
...Dated this twenty first day of December two thousand and five.Is that the Gregorian Calendar? or one of the other ones? Just to be clear.

jivecat
14th-December-2005, 10:31 AM
Christmas is obviously too scary these days...


So what's new? Christmas parties aren't complete without a 4 year old sobbing in the background somewhere, as any infant teacher will tell you. It's all part of the fun.

I reckon I could dance wearing a chador and yashmak. It would probably enhance eye-contact. Thinking about it, most of my dance clothes are long black drapey things anyway.

I've revised my ideal Christmas plans and now think that the best way to spend Christmas is to get a cheap flight to the Dominican Republic, rent an apartment from the local beach touts and spend the fortnight eating tostones, drinking ron y limon, lolling on the beach by day and touring the local dance halls by night practising groin-grinding, sorry, that was meant to say Merengue and Bachata! Anyone up for it?

ducasi
14th-December-2005, 11:06 AM
I've revised my ideal Christmas plans and now think that the best way to spend Christmas is to get a cheap flight to the Dominican Republic, rent an apartment from the local beach touts and spend the fortnight eating tostones, drinking ron y limon, lolling on the beach by day and touring the local dance halls by night practising groin-grinding, sorry, that was meant to say Merengue and Bachata! Anyone up for it?
:yeah:

Sounds fantastic!

Sparkles
14th-December-2005, 11:16 AM
Is Christmas really so bad?

Why does it seem that you either have to love it or hate it? - it's not marmite y'know! :rolleyes:

To it's another excuse to tell my family and friends that I love them and appreciate them - and as far as I can see that can never be a bad thing.

Christmas is what you make it - so stop snivelling and enjoy yourselves, damn it!

LordOfTheFiles
14th-December-2005, 01:24 PM
Why does it seem that you either have to love it or hate it? - it's not marmite y'know! :rolleyes:

It is insight such as this that has propelled England to the very fore of Philosophical thought. I like it

jivecat
14th-December-2005, 01:41 PM
Christmas is what you make it - so stop snivelling and enjoy yourselves, damn it!

This is a thread (Cheers, LM) for people who love moaning, whining, whinging, grizzling, snivelling and complaining, especially about Christmas. Did you not read the thread title? I recommend starting another thread, called something like "Christmas, Functional Family Heaven Bliss."

LordOfTheFiles
14th-December-2005, 01:46 PM
This is a thread (Cheers, LM) for people who love moaning, whining, whinging, grizzling, snivelling and complaining, especially about Christmas. Did you not read the thread title? I recommend starting another thread, called something like "Christmas, Functional Family Heaven Bliss."

Whilst that is true, she did end her post with Damn It!! Which is pretty moany, whiny, whingy, grizzly and complainy. So I think it fits. Plus she has a point...

Cruella
14th-December-2005, 01:47 PM
Is Christmas really so bad?

Why does it seem that you either have to love it or hate it? - it's not marmite y'know! :rolleyes:

To it's another excuse to tell my family and friends that I love them and appreciate them - and as far as I can see that can never be a bad thing.

Christmas is what you make it - so stop snivelling and enjoy yourselves, damn it!
You like it because it's a good excuse to wear even more sparkly clothes.:flower:

Sparkles
14th-December-2005, 03:23 PM
You like it because it's a good excuse to wear even more sparkly clothes.:flower:
:yeah: of course, that too!


This is a thread for people who love moaning
I know that and I did read the title - but seeing as the people posting here are (in some cases) the people who are moaning about Christmas all over the forum and not just in this little haven I thought it would be the best place to pass my comment on to all those people.
Anyway, I was commenting about people who rave about Christmas just as much as those who moan about it.


Plus she has a point...
Thanks for the support.

Little Monkey
14th-December-2005, 05:55 PM
Is Christmas really so bad?

Yes, sometimes.... :tears:


Why does it seem that you either have to love it or hate it? - it's not marmite y'know! :rolleyes:

I love Christmas! I do! I hate it, too...... Hmmmm, yes, and I've also got multiple personality order....:whistle:


To it's another excuse to tell my family and friends that I love them and appreciate them - and as far as I can see that can never be a bad thing.

Do I have to??? It only makes them big headed! Ok, then. I'll tell my brother he's not too bad, really. Might even give him the Monty Python dvd box set I bought last week, spoilt so-and-so.....


Christmas is what you make it - so stop snivelling and enjoy yourselves, damn it!

Well, this year I make mine Scottish-Norwegian. What's that, Scorwegian? Nottish? Oh, and I'm having a Czech-Norwegian-English Christmas eve.... Getting confused already..... :eek:

Rhythm King
14th-December-2005, 06:14 PM
Of course if you were having an Australian Christmas, it would "fire up the barbie" time :devil: Mwahahahah!

Sparkles
15th-December-2005, 10:43 AM
Seriously, though, if year after year people have a *****ty time at Christmas I can understand that negative associations can be made. But maybe that's not the fault of 'Christmas', maybe it's the fault of the way you spend it (or the way you're forced to spend it).

Things like that you can change - even if you're still being forced to spend it in the same way that makes you want to bury your head for 24hrs. Maybe try and find a different way of looking at the situation so that it's a bit more bareable? I don't know... Christmases aren't usually that bad in my house, even though my Dad is extremely ill, we all try and put a smile on it and make it the best we can. Yes we might be kidding ourselves, yes we might have to put our family differences away for 24hrs, but it can and is done.

Last Christmas I had an awful stomach bug and was laid-up in bed with no Christmas dinner and had to stay there for about 48hrs, even though we had family and friends and lots of merry-making going on in the house I was miserable and alone in my room. This year I hope that won't happen again!

S. x

KatieR
15th-December-2005, 11:09 AM
Of course if you were having an Australian Christmas, it would "fire up the barbie" time :devil: Mwahahahah!

Its water canons at 12 o clock!!


if year after year people have a *****ty time at Christmas I can understand that negative associations can be made.

I for one would just absolutely LOVE to have a happy Christmas, last year, 2004 I was really ill, and I had just separated from my ex fiance.. the year before that 2003, some relatives had an all out barney that resulted in all kinds of family issues, the year before that 2002, I think was alright, 2001 cant remember, 2000 ended up in hospital twice... and it goes back like that for about another 10 years.

The happiest Christmas I can remember was when I was about 6. Like I said, I would like nothing more than to have a really wonderful Christmas but tend to find all I want to do is hide away so that nothing can really happen.

LMC
15th-December-2005, 11:19 AM
Seriously, though, if year after year people have a *****ty time at Christmas I can understand that negative associations can be made. But maybe that's not the fault of 'Christmas', maybe it's the fault of the way you spend it (or the way you're forced to spend it).
No, I've rationalised the -ve associations, my bad attitude towards Christmas is the fault of my inability to totally ignore the hysteria surrounding the festival.

The day itself will be OK. Mainly because I do intend to do just exactly as I damn well please. I'm really looking forward to seeing family between Christmas and New Year - when we can have a lovely time without perfection anxiety - "it's Christmas Day so it *has* to be special" - and we wonder why tiny tots so often end up in tears or tantrums :rolleyes: . It's the time spent winding people up during the run-up to Christmas that I loathe - and that time just seems to get longer and longer. And it gets more and more difficult to opt out :(

David Bailey
15th-December-2005, 12:07 PM
Seriously, though, if year after year people have a *****ty time at Christmas I can understand that negative associations can be made. But maybe that's not the fault of 'Christmas', maybe it's the fault of the way you spend it (or the way you're forced to spend it).
You could argue it's the "fault" of society in general for creating so many pressures and expectations to Have A Good Time, Wiv Your Faaaamily (channelling Eastenders there), in the same way as it's society's "fault" for raising expectations for St. Valentine's day.

It takes a very strong-minded person to ignore these pressures, I think.

LMC
15th-December-2005, 12:16 PM
I wanted to argue that DJ... but as you say, a strong-minded person could ignore all that.

Unfortunately, although I am strong enough to say "s** it, I'm bailing this year and will ENJOY Christmas Day", the hype still gets to me... maybe next year :na:

Lynn
15th-December-2005, 12:33 PM
It's the time spent winding people up during the run-up to Christmas that I loathe - and that time just seems to get longer and longer. And it gets more and more difficult to opt out :(I agree, its all the build up to it that raises the expectations. If you just take it as a day when the shops are shut and you hang out with family and friends, or have a quiet day to yourself - whichever you want - then its fine. But it is built up to be this 'perfect day' - and that's what makes it so stressful.

I think a lot of it is because of the commercial side of things. The build up is so long as the earlier it starts, the more money people hopefully spend. There is pressure to buy perfect presents, send cards, go out for special dinners. None of which has anything to do with Christmas as a religious celebration.

And there is so much expectation on all these things that its very hard to 'opt out' of the commerical side, if someone gets you a present or sends you a card you feel you have to reciprocate in kind. You feel you have to go to the Christmas parties. So either way, you can end up stressed.

OK - who's up for going off somewhere in the sun next year, eating lots of nice food and doing lots of dancing?

Little Monkey
15th-December-2005, 08:09 PM
Lots of shitty christmases .

Yeah, last year I missed my flight to Norway on 23/12 (and we celebrate Christmas Eve, so that was a BUMMER to say the least!!!). Had to fly to Swedeninstead, causing massive inconveniences for my family, and having to fork out lots of extra money on a new flight ticket.

In 2003 I was alone on Christmas day, and cried my eyes out. :tears:

In 2002 I ended up in hospital, and got out in the afternoon on Christmas Eve, and was barely human. All I wanted was to go and hide away, I couldn't cope with a HUGE family Christmas with my brother, his wife and two kiddies, my brother's in-laws and my parents. :(

Oh, and just before Christmas 2001 I ended a relationship with a long-term boyfriend. We still lived together for a while (yes, I know it sounds bizarre!!!), and Christmas was just soooo sad! :tears:

I think Christmas 2000 was ok......... Can't really remember..... :what:

So I've got rather high hopes for this Christmas! (You listening Santa? God? Greg? Mum?)

Little Monkey who really likes Christmas, really...........

jivecat
15th-December-2005, 08:43 PM
To it's another excuse to tell my family and friends that I love them and appreciate them - and as far as I can see that can never be a bad thing.



You make it all sound so simple but for many people it isn't as simple as that. Family tensions and pressures are one of the features of Christmas that many people find hard to handle, even if they are surrounded by family that they love. It's well known that the festival can stress relationships to flashpoint, and as you point out later, many people are not free to spend the holiday as they wish, they are under obligation to spend it in a conventional, family-orientated way.

However, not having a family to quarrel with at Christmas is probably the grimmest thing of all.

My family is no more complicated than anyone else's but we began to discuss "the Christmas arrangements" in September. This year I am choosing to spend it with my sister who I dearly love, but not with my mother, who is quite elderly. So I get to do what I want, but with a pile of guilt thrown in.

It's this kind of thing that makes me relieved when Christmas is over, even though there are many aspects of it that are enjoyable.

Little Monkey
15th-December-2005, 10:37 PM
Of course if you were having an Australian Christmas, it would "fire up the barbie" time :devil: Mwahahahah!

Dear Santa,

May I have a fire extinguisher for Christmas, please? Pretty, pretty please? One that'll fit neatly into my dance bag?

Thanks,

Little Monkey

PS - what kind of tipple would you like to accompany your mince pies?

Rhythm King
15th-December-2005, 11:38 PM
Dear Santa,

May I have a fire extinguisher for Christmas, please? Pretty, pretty please? One that'll fit neatly into my dance bag?

Thanks,

Little Monkey

PS - what kind of tipple would you like to accompany your mince pies?


Brandy! - French brandy of course. You know, the kind for doing flamb&#233;. Did you know the French for monkey is "singe". Hmm, seems almost to be too much of a coincidence... mwahahahah! :devil: er - I mean Ho, Ho, Ho, Little Monkey! :innocent:








(Love ya really :hug: :wink: )

Piglet
15th-December-2005, 11:47 PM
Even Santa ain't happy....




A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

Sparkles
16th-December-2005, 11:00 AM
For everyone who frequently has a genuinely cr*p time at Christmas I'd just like to say that I hope that this year you all have a wonderful time, free from family strife, illness and upset - if it isn't perfect I hope it's at least peaceful...

...and maybe next year there will be a thread about how Christmas wasn't so very bad after all. :flower:

S. x

Jenni
16th-December-2005, 11:18 AM
I've revised my ideal Christmas plans and now think that the best way to spend Christmas is to get a cheap flight to the Dominican Republic, rent an apartment from the local beach touts and spend the fortnight eating tostones, drinking ron y limon, lolling on the beach by day and touring the local dance halls by night practising groin-grinding, sorry, that was meant to say Merengue and Bachata! Anyone up for it?

:yeah:
Count me in - funnily enough the Riu chain of hotels have a resort with 3 hotels there called the Mambo, Merengue and Bachata - very nice they are too and the food :drool:

Jenni :flower:

Feelingpink
16th-December-2005, 12:03 PM
Dear Santa,

May I have a fire extinguisher for Christmas, please? Pretty, pretty please? One that'll fit neatly into my dance bag?

Thanks,

Little Monkey

PS - what kind of tipple would you like to accompany your mince pies?Really, you don't need a fire extinguisher - this is the UK in the middle of winter and all the firewood is damp from the rain and the fog, so there will not be any barbies.

Rhythm King
16th-December-2005, 12:13 PM
Really, you don't need a fire extinguisher - this is the UK in the middle of winter and all the firewood is damp from the rain and the fog, so there will not be any barbies.

But I've just painted the charcoal briquettes white and made this nice ickle igloo, as a sort of Santa's Grotto. Ooh, what's that inside it? It looks so yummy and lovely, you simply must go in and have a look...







The matches, Igor - quick, where are the matches?:devil:

Little Monkey
16th-December-2005, 01:32 PM
But I've just painted the charcoal briquettes white and made this nice ickle igloo, as a sort of Santa's Grotto. Ooh, what's that inside it? It looks so yummy and lovely, you simply must go in and have a look...







The matches, Igor - quick, where are the matches?:devil:

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!:tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears:

SAAAAAAAANTA!! HE'S BEING MEAN AGAIN!!!!:tears:

Sheepman
16th-December-2005, 01:52 PM
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
Hmm, so maybe that's the reason the Santa Tours company went bust yesterday. No more visits to the grotto in Rovaniemi with that company. And for those that had a burning desire to go there, sorry, it's just another rotund guy in a red outfit and a fake beard. :devil:

Greg

Little Monkey
16th-December-2005, 11:06 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!! :angry:

I was so organised, and had written a list (quite possibly incomplete, but a list nevertheless), and had even written about one dozen cards.... Then what do I go and do? I lose the bloomin' list! :tears:

Am currently trying to compile a new list, and am sure I'll miss out on lots of names that I'd remembered to put on the original list..... Was about 35-40, I think..... Aaargh! :(

Groovy Dancer
16th-December-2005, 11:10 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!! :angry:

I was so organised, and had written a list (quite possibly incomplete, but a list nevertheless), and had even written about one dozen cards.... Then what do I go and do? I lose the bloomin' list! :tears:

Am currently trying to compile a new list, and am sure I'll miss out on lots of names that I'd remembered to put on the original list..... Was about 35-40, I think..... Aaargh! :(

Don't worry Be happy!!!
Have a absolute ball doing everything and anything, trust me..its the best thing to do!!!!:clap: :clap: :whistle: :whistle: :nice:

and this has nothing to do with where I will be in 2days!!!:rofl:

Little Monkey
17th-December-2005, 11:15 AM
Don't worry Be happy!!!
Have a absolute ball doing everything and anything, trust me..its the best thing to do!!!!:clap: :clap: :whistle: :whistle: :nice:

and this has nothing to do with where I will be in 2days!!!:rofl:

Pah! I should give you negative rep for that...... Or step on your toes next time we dance! :devil:

Enjoy the sunshine, you jammy git! :wink:

PretzelMeister
17th-December-2005, 03:13 PM
Even Santa ain't happy....

A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

~snip~


Continuing in a similar vein....

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Everbody felt shitty
- Even the mouse.

Mum at the whorehouse
And dad smoking grass
I’d just settled down
For a nice piece of ass.

When, from outside
I heard such a clatter
I got up off my butt
To see what was the matter

There out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
And I knew in a flash
It must be St. Nick

He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell
I knew in an instant
The fu*ker had fell.

He filled all our stockings
With pretzels and beer
And a big rubber dick
For my brother - the queer.

Then he rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart
That son of a bitch
Blew the chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight
Saying, '**** on you all
And have a hell of a night!'

CeeCee
19th-December-2005, 01:39 PM
Christmas makes some people happy makes some people sad, life goes on.

Anyone out there working on Christmas Day?

Anyone out there being paid a normal Sunday rate for working on Christmas Day because it falls on a Sunday so it is not a bank holiday?

Is it not reasonable to expect enhanced pay for working the one day of the year when the vast majority of people want to have the day off?

Would love to hear from other shift workers on the Forum, police officers, fire crew, paramedics, nurses, doctors, other hospital staff, restaurant staff and many more...

LMC
19th-December-2005, 05:04 PM
299.6 m ... but my work machine is slow, sure this record will be beaten very quickly

How far can you sling Santa? (http://www.twingo-portal.de/flash/weihnachtsmann/weihnachtsmann.swf)

TheTramp
19th-December-2005, 05:12 PM
How far can you sling Santa? (http://www.twingo-portal.de/flash/weihnachtsmann/weihnachtsmann.swf)
350.4

Piglet
19th-December-2005, 09:09 PM
350.4
Is that all? I got 470.4 on my first go! :na: :na:

Caro
19th-December-2005, 09:33 PM
well, I must be really dumb... cause I can't throw Santa!!! :tears: :tears: :tears:
what's wrong with me??? :what:

Sheepman
5th-January-2006, 05:37 PM
Right, time to finish taking down the decorations...:whistle:

LMC
28th-November-2006, 07:10 PM
Since there are already at least 3 C****tm*s threads (and it's not even December yet :tears: ) I'm gonna BUMP this one. So there.

Bah.

Humbug.

Paulthetrainer
28th-November-2006, 08:04 PM
I bloody hate bloody Christmas. Gets right on my bloody nerves.

Last year these 3 ghosts showed up. one after the other, and started banging on to me about something or other. Can't remember what. Told them to sod off and haunt someone else.
:angry::angry::angry:

Paul