Unfocused Rant

[LordOfTheFiles]

I have just come out of one of the most pointless HR induced meetings. Well ok, I actually came out of it yesterday but I am trying to make it sem more current. I has annoyed me slightly more than reading the Daily mail, so I am sure you can sense my discomfort.

Ok I shall set the scene (cue wiggly lines). I work in finance and as such it is not the most PC part of the world to work in and there have been various cases pertaining to harassment etc etc.

Luckily the kindly HR folk have now given us a meeting explaining exactly what is considered to be harassment, how we could spot it, and how much we could be sued for. Which is exactly what I needed to know because I was confused by what would be considered inappropriate behaviour because I have no social skills or morals. I don't even wnat to know how much we paid this highly trained law firm to come in and tell us to be nice to each other - plainly no bonuses for us this year.

And what really, really got to me was the level of payouts. A woman was given just over a million for the incredibly abusive "nice baps" comment, whereas a jew was made to dress as a Nazi and called "jewboy" and didn't get half of that. Then a man who was partially deaf was acused of "not switching his ears on" and managed to win the princely sum of 20k.

You see I told you the rant was unfocused. I am also not much of a fan of courgettes

[LMC]

It's political correctness gone experiencing mental health difficulties.

Oh, and you're wrong. Nothing is more annoying than reading the Daily Mail. Except maybe that the Metro cryptic crossword disappeared months ago.

Courgettes are OK, but refried beans - is it just me, or do they taste like someone already ate them? :sick:

[mooncalf]

I think you're just politically correct to say that political correctness has gone to far when secretly you really agree with it.

[LordOfTheFiles]

I think you're just politically correct to say that political correctness has gone to far when secretly you really agree with it.

What is the sound of one hand clapping??

[TiggsTours]

I have just come out of one of the most pointless HR induced meetings. Well ok, I actually came out of it yesterday but I am trying to make it sem more current. I has annoyed me slightly more than reading the Daily mail, so I am sure you can sense my discomfort.

Ok I shall set the scene (cue wiggly lines). I work in finance and as such it is not the most PC part of the world to work in and there have been various cases pertaining to harassment etc etc.

Luckily the kindly HR folk have now given us a meeting explaining exactly what is considered to be harassment, how we could spot it, and how much we could be sued for. Which is exactly what I needed to know because I was confused by what would be considered inappropriate behaviour because I have no social skills or morals. I don't even wnat to know how much we paid this highly trained law firm to come in and tell us to be nice to each other - plainly no bonuses for us this year.

And what really, really got to me was the level of payouts. A woman was given just over a million for the incredibly abusive "nice baps" comment, whereas a jew was made to dress as a Nazi and called "jewboy" and didn't get half of that. Then a man who was partially deaf was acused of "not switching his ears on" and managed to win the princely sum of 20k.

You see I told you the rant was unfocused. I am also not much of a fan of courgettes
Speaking as a woman on this, I personally feel that sexual equality has gone mad! Things seem to be focussed in completely the wrong direction. The examples you have given are perfect example of this, a woman getting that much for a small comment (I think you'll find there was a hell of alot more than that she had to put up with though) whereas the blatant racism against the Jewish person being vastly under-rated, its just crazy! The same with the deaf guy, I bet he had to put up with alot more too than just the one comment.

The one I think is the craziest is when a company is looking for someone to cover maternity leave. If 2 people internally apply (sex doesn't come into this at all, it could be 2 women) and one of them is pregnant. Say the pregnant person is really the best person for the job, the company have to offer it to her, even if she is due to be on maternity leave at the time that she is applying to cover! (she would be eligible for maternity, as she already works for the comany. That means the company has to pay maternity leave to the original member of staff, and to the lady who applied for the job, and then get someone else in to actually do the work, and pay them too! Its just mad!

Where things fall down is that, women are still paid less than men for doing exactly the same job in a huge number of industries. The paper said the other day that it is likely that this situation will actually NEVER change. This is where equality groups should be focussing, not on getting vasts payouts for a woman who couldn't give as good as she got!

I'm not saying the woman in the "nice baps" case didn't deserve something (she'd probably put up with loads of bullying, and this was the one aspect they chose to focus on) but over a million is just absurd!

P.S. I like corgettes and refried beans, can't stand tomatoes!

[doc martin]

I read the Daily mail, so I am wiggly. I work in finance and have no social skills or morals. I wnat high bonuses this year.

And what really, really got to me was the level of payouts. A woman was given "nice baps" , whereas a jew didn't get half of his ears.

You see I told you the rant was unfocused. I am also not much of a fan of courgettes
I see where you are coming from, but you can't make a fan out of courgettes.

[LordOfTheFiles]

I see where you are coming from, but you can't make a fan out of courgettes.

You just haven't tried. the trick it to slice it thinly and then link the pieces together with spaghetti. or if you have a mind, simple garden twine.

[LordOfTheFiles]

The one I think is the craziest is when a company is looking for someone to cover maternity leave. If 2 people internally apply (sex doesn't come into this at all, it could be 2 women) and one of them is pregnant. Say the pregnant person is really the best person for the job, the company have to offer it to her, even if she is due to be on maternity leave at the time that she is applying to cover! (she would be eligible for maternity, as she already works for the comany. That means the company has to pay maternity leave to the original member of staff, and to the lady who applied for the job, and then get someone else in to actually do the work, and pay them too! Its just mad!

I would agree, but I get paid for doing nothing and then I just make somebody else do it if anything comes along, so really it would be hypocritical to agree with this point. Sexist I may be, but I am no hypocrite

[doc martin]

You just haven't tried. the trick it to slice it thinly and then link the pieces together with spaghetti. or if you have a mind, simple garden twine.
I haven't got a mind, so it will have to be the spaghetti. So... do I cook it first? Do I just link one end of the courgettes together? Where does the pesto sauce go? And many other pointless questions....

[mooncalf]

I haven't got a mind, so it will have to be the spaghetti. So... do I cook it first? Do I just link one end of the courgettes together? Where does the pesto sauce go? And many other pointless questions....

Your questions aren't pointless though are they - you are trying to tell us something about yourself - possibly how witty you are although I'm just guessing, clever you not making it too obvious.

[LordOfTheFiles]

I haven't got a mind, so it will have to be the spaghetti. So... do I cook it first? Do I just link one end of the courgettes together? Where does the pesto sauce go? And many other pointless questions....

Remember that no question is pointles. I can't emphasise that enough. Except all the ones that you ask and the ones I don't know the answers to

[LordOfTheFiles]

I haven't got a mind, so it will have to be the spaghetti. So... do I cook it first? Do I just link one end of the courgettes together? Where does the pesto sauce go? And many other pointless questions....

And anyway this isn't fan building 101 you know. That's in the next room

[LordOfTheFiles]

Your questions aren't pointless though are they - you are trying to tell us something about yourself - possibly how witty you are although I'm just guessing, clever you not making it too obvious.

His questions may be pointless, but your responses are positively barbed.

[doc martin]

Your questions aren't pointless though are they - you are trying to tell us something about yourself - possibly how witty you are although I'm just guessing, clever you not making it too obvious.
Actually it could tell you that I am sitting here running half hour long simulations on my PC and keeping myself amused whilst waiting for the results. If I fail to amuse anyone else at the same time, I apologise.

[LordOfTheFiles]

Actually it could tell you that I am sitting here running half hour long simulations on my PC and keeping myself amused whilst waiting for the results. If I fail to amuse anyone else at the same time, I apologise.

All lies. You are siting at home in your pants trying to decide whether spaghetti has the tensile strength to link together courgette because you know you have no garden twine. Admit it

[mooncalf]

Actually it could tell you that I am sitting here running half hour long simulations on my PC and keeping myself amused whilst waiting for the results. If I fail to amuse anyone else at the same time, I apologise.

It amuses me that you apologise.

[LordOfTheFiles]

It amuses me that you apologise.

Naked fat men amuse me. Have I said too much??

[doc martin]

It amuses me that you apologise.
Glad to be of service.

Naked fat men amuse me. Have I said too much??
I haven't said what I am wearing as I sit here typing, so I may be amusing you... or I may not.

[LordOfTheFiles]

I haven't said what I am wearing as I sit here typing, so I may be amusing you... or I may not.

But you are fat?

[doc martin]

But you are fat?
I do a very good santa impersonation.

[LordOfTheFiles]

I do a very good santa impersonation.

It may be seasonal but it's still gainful employment. Well done you

[David Bailey]

Speaking as a woman on this
What, you normally speak as a man? :na: :innocent:


The one I think is the craziest is when a company is looking for someone to cover maternity leave. If 2 people internally apply (sex doesn't come into this at all, it could be 2 women) and one of them is pregnant. Say the pregnant person is really the best person for the job, the company have to offer it to her, even if she is due to be on maternity leave at the time that she is applying to cover! (she would be eligible for maternity, as she already works for the comany. That means the company has to pay maternity leave to the original member of staff, and to the lady who applied for the job, and then get someone else in to actually do the work, and pay them too! Its just mad!
Spookily enough, I too just came across this very rule an hour ago. We're advertising a job vacancy, and we have to let all members of staff who're on maternity leave know about it - fair enough so far.

But if one of them wants the job, and if we offer it to her, we have to wait another 10 months for her to take the job, and we have to arrange maternity cover for her. Which is clearly a dis-incentive to offer her the job in the first place, so I don't think that helps too much in the long run...


Where things fall down is that, women are still paid less than men for doing exactly the same job in a huge number of industries.
And, as long as women do the majority of the childrearing, taking time off from career-development areas, the average women's earnings will always be somewhat less than the average man's.

Of course, that's used as an excuse by some unscruulous / biased people to pay women less money than men for doing the same job, which is reprehensible.

[Father Christmas]

I do a very good santa impersonation.

Do tell...?

[LordOfTheFiles]

Do tell...?

Wow! That really is one of the scariest photos I have seen

[WittyBird]

Wow! That really is one of the scariest photos I have seen
you obviously havent seen my collection then :what:

[LordOfTheFiles]

you obviously havent seen my collection then :what:

There is nothing I can say here that wouldn't have incredibly unnecessary sexual overtones

[WittyBird]

There is nothing I can say here that wouldn't have incredibly unnecessary sexual overtones
:yeah: good point :rofl:

[LordOfTheFiles]

:yeah: good point :rofl:

That's what you get from me

[WittyBird]

That's what you get from me

So I've heard :really:

[DianaS]

Do tell...?
Haven't we met?..
In Santa's Grotto?...
You were lap dancing! with a gay Danish guy called Rudolf!

[LordOfTheFiles]

So I've heard :really:

It's just hard being famous. But I suppose it is one of those burdens I shall just have to carry with me

[WittyBird]

It's just hard being famous. But I suppose it is one of those burdens I shall just have to carry with me

Im sure you wood be lost without your burden

[LordOfTheFiles]

Im sure you wood be lost without your burden

Definitely there would be fewer illegitimate children. And who wants a world like that?

[murphy]

I haven't got a mind, so it will have to be the spaghetti. So... do I cook it first? ....

I would suggest cooking the spaghetti first so that you can tie a knot in the end to stop the courgettes falling off...

:sad:

[WittyBird]

Definitely there would be fewer illegitimate children. And who wants a world like that?

Well if you've got it flaunt it...
dont be selfish bring joy to others its certainly the season of goodwill :cool:

[LordOfTheFiles]

I would suggest cooking the spaghetti first so that you can tie a knot in the end to stop the courgettes falling off...

:sad:

Simple but effective. You sir are a genius. And perhaps you are also a stockist of the world's finest collection of pasta prodcuts??

[murphy]

Simple but effective. You sir are a genius. And perhaps you are also a stockist of the world's finest collection of pasta prodcuts??

I'm no sir, Mister. I am a lady!
And my pasta products are legendary in certain circles.

[LordOfTheFiles]

I'm no sir, Mister. I am a lady!
And my pasta products are legendary in certain circles.

man, woman, manchild, it makes little difference to me. I am an equal opportunity pasta afficianado

[ducasi]

... staff who're on maternity leave ... Occupational hazard I guess...

[Bangers & Mash]

So, back to the unfocused rant...

I recently applied for the Political Correctness course cos the girl that runs it is a right babe...


actually, on a more serious note.. office environments are such that you have to be really careful nowadays because it is just too easy to be sued for saying the wrong thing - and the stupid thing is what some people find offensive, others don't. What some people say and cause offense, others can say and cause no offense whatsoever.. likewise with dancing, some moves can be carried off perfectly harmlessly by one person, but by another would be totally offensive...

I think the trick is not to define what is and is not offensive, because it is subjective. What is necessary is to define how to deal with it. For example, an employee needs 3 warnings before they can be fired, so why not introduce a form of caution for offensiveness in the office.

This gives the offended the opportunity to register that they have been offended and the offender the opportunity to desist and apologise. The offense should be recorded for a set period of time and then struck with no permanent damage. If the offender persists, then the second warning, third warning, etc. and no massive payouts.

[WittyBird]

inline with everything that has been said it can work both ways.....

I think women are worse than men.......

A colleague of mine decided to wear a kilt to the big office awards ceremony last christmas *stupid fool*

Drunken women.... Man in Kilt.... :what:
*don't think I need to say anymore*

[David Bailey]

inline with everything that has been said it can work both ways.....

I think women are worse than men.......

A colleague of mine decided to wear a kilt to the big office awards ceremony last christmas *stupid fool*

Drunken women.... Man in Kilt.... :what:
*don't think I need to say anymore*
Whoa, yeah. Blimey, whatever next, people'll be dressing up in school uniforms to perform Britney numbers or something... :innocent:

(PS, see that word between "Ceroc" and "Forum" :whistle: ? ) :na:

[WittyBird]

Whoa, yeah. Blimey, whatever next, people'll be dressing up in school uniforms to perform Britney numbers or something... :innocent:



Your just miffed cos you aint ever gonna see the 'dvd':rofl:

[David Bailey]

Your just miffed cos you aint ever gonna see the 'dvd':rofl:
Ahh, I'm sure there'll be an illegal pirate copy available on certain specialist web sites. Although it may take long and arduous research to find it, I'm willing to put in the hours and take one for the team. :innocent:

[WittyBird]

Ahh, I'm sure there'll be an illegal pirate copy available on certain specialist web sites. Although it may take long and arduous research to find it, I'm willing to put in the hours and take one for the team. :innocent:

Save the effort I will just give you one next time I see you

[LMC]

Save the effort I will just give you one next time I see you
:non-existent zippy mouth guy:

****, it's contagious

[Icey]

:non-existent zippy mouth guy:

****, it's contagious

OMG! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: