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Stuart
3rd-December-2005, 05:49 PM
Don't waste money on expensive IPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song that you like and hum that instead.

CINEMA GOERS. Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by going to the loo before the film starts.

RAPPERS. Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' by speaking clearly in the first place.

Don't waste money on expensive paper shreaders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.

MEN. When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your wife from having to do it.

GAMBLERS. For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.

DRIVERS. If a car breaks down in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car to start and send it on its way.

SINGLE MEN. Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside Etam with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and accasionally looking inside.

Shoes last twice as long if only worn every other day.

CAR THIEVES. Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under the seat.

WittyBird
3rd-December-2005, 05:58 PM
Don't eat yellow snow

Dance Demon
4th-December-2005, 11:02 PM
Don't waste money on expensive IPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song that you like and hum that instead.


Damn....I've just wasted 200 quid..........wish I'd read this first:mad: ......:D

LMC
5th-December-2005, 10:20 AM
Always start new threads (http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6924) :whistle: :wink: