Advice (please take this thread seriously)

[LMC]

Inspired by this:


Always carry a tin of fluorescent yellow paint. Then you can stand out against the background even as an MIB.
I thought it might be appropriate for us all to share our words of wisdom, dancing or non-dancing related.

Like "Never eat yellow snow"
Or "Always eat yellow snow, it contains more nutrients"

Don't indicate when driving round a roundabout, it will inhibit the evolution of psychic powers in the human race

If you're single and looking, don't shower before dancing, the pheromones will be stronger (and you therefore more attractive) if you don't wash for 48 hours before a freestyle

Any other profound and useful offerings?

[David Bailey]

Never eat curry before a weekender.

Errr, oops... :blush:

[David Franklin]

Seen elsewhere, but given the spate of medical queries on the forum recently, strangely appropriate...



HEALTH AND FITNESS - THE FACTS

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. If you need grain then eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain = Good

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans .. another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: "Round" is a shape isn't it?

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

[LMC]

Commuting? Save money on books/newspapers/magazines by reading over the shoulder of the person next to you on the train. Or drive.

[philsmove]

Commuting? Save money on books/newspapers/magazines by reading over the shoulder of the person next to you on the train. Or drive.



I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody Allen

[ChrisA]

Don't clean your keyboard until you've saved all your work, especially if your keyboard is a flash one with a button labelled "sleep" on it.