Best put down lines

[stewart38]

Im ,sorry a friend is more use to these (people he fancied)

Your a nice guy but your bacon isnt for me :sad:

I still want to be your friend

Do you think any of your friends would like me

I cant do any of those nights and then on that night Im seeing my sister (who lives around the corner)

you will find somebody better then me :mad:

Yes im not good enough for you

[WittyBird]

Think there is a village somewhere looking for you :wink:

[TiggsTours]

I'm sorry, but I think I'd be looking for someone a little younger.

[Baby Peaches]

Is that a chipolata in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?!:D

[WittyBird]

him " would you like a drink?"
her " Oh yes please I didnt know this place did table service now"

[Chef]

Two ladies meeting at a party - cordial but not friends

"I haven't seen you for a while. The crows feet around your eyes are so bad now"

"They are not crows feet - they are laughter lines"

"nothing is that funny".

Mee--ooow.



Another thing that I over heard was a woman commenting to a partner at a school play when a particularly ugly child came on stage

"isn't it sad when they let cousins marry?"

[TiggsTours]

One I used once, not whilst being chatted up, but on a guy trying to convince me (his ex-girlfriend's bestfriend) that he really was sorry he'd cheated on my friend (for the umpteenth time), and wanted another chance. I spent about an hour, listenening to his sob-story, empathising, "umming and "nodding" and "oh, dearing" in all the right places, then at the end of his story, he said "well" and I said:

Me - "So I guess you'd like me to speak to her, to tell her how sorry you are, and that you love her, and she should just give you a chance to explain?"

Him - "Yes, please, if you could"

Me - :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[stewart38]

One I used once, not whilst being chatted up, but on a guy trying to convince me (his ex-girlfriend's bestfriend) that he really was sorry he'd cheated on my friend (for the umpteenth time), and wanted another chance. I spent about an hour, listenening to his sob-story, empathising, "umming and "nodding" and "oh, dearing" in all the right places, then at the end of his story, he said "well" and I said:

Me - "So I guess you'd like me to speak to her, to tell her how sorry you are, and that you love her, and she should just give you a chance to explain?"

Him - "Yes, please, if you could"

Me - :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Reminds me of a guy that cheated on his girl when on leave in the royal navy back in 1918

she forgave him and they went on to marry and be together for 60yrs with kids and granchildren and a warm fire and white picket fence......... :grin:

No he cheated again so it didnt last :whistle:


A good put down line is just being ignored :clap:

[Icey]

Just because it does up doesn't mean it fits!

And before you ask, I'm talking clothes here!

[Swinging bee]

"I don't do ceroc, but I do modern Jive"

[under par]

Another thing that I over heard was a woman commenting to a partner at a school play when a particularly ugly child came on stage

"isn't it sad when they let cousins marry?"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: so true

[stewart38]

A 'mate' of mine on the interent saw on a dating site what he thought was a vision of beauty. As an intro he said I cant believe that picture is of you

she responded by saying 'unfortunately I do believe that picture is of you, so we wont be corresponding'


I thought that was sweet sorry he thought thats was sweet :nice:

[baldrick]

Never recoverd from the teenage experiance off a slightly sneered

"What, with you?"

:tears:

[TiggsTours]

Hmm, this may get this moved upstairs, but still a story worth telling!

I was out with a group of girlfriends one night, there was 5 of us, at a bar. Some guy was having his stag do, and his "mates" had got him a stripper, we were standing right next to them, so, as you do, we all turned round to watch the show. The girl's act included handcuffing the poor guy, and squirting him with squirty cream, after pulling down his trousers, he was really game for this, laughing away, but then she decided she wanted to pull down his pants too, he wasn't so keen. I have to defend us all now and say that we were standing there saying, "oh leave him alone, he doesn't want to, you don't need to do that" and trying to defend him, but, as with car crashes, you just keep looking! and well, everyone, including him, was still laughing. Well, she got his pants down, and, it wasn't that cold in the bar, but all I can say is the gentleman concerned must have been ever so nervous! (If you get my meaning!) It was a bit of a shock, and I didn't want to offend him, so I thought it was probably best if he didn't see the look of horror on my face, so instead I turned to face away from him, and stopped laughing! Unfortunately, all 4 of my friends, and quite a few other people in the bar felt the same, so the result was 5 girls, all in their 20s, standing infront of him, take one look at his wedding tackle, sharp intake of breath, spin on their heels to face away, suddenly stop laughing, deathly silence in the room, which my, not-so-subtle, friend filled with "Ah, his girlfriend must really love him!"