Martin
15th-October-2005, 04:33 PM
I have just had laser treatment to my eyes to correct my vision, (short sighted) since I said I would do it, and told people, I realised it was faily common, but before the event there were some things I was told that were a bit out, maybe people forgot.
So I wrote down my experience straight away, to ensure it was as factual as possible.
It is a very long post, so if you are easily bored, stop here :flower:
If others have had it done and their experience was different, or even the same, it would be interesting to hear from you.
If you are thinking of having it done, have a read and reply with any questions :grin:
Treatment done Thursday 13th October 2005 by Chris Rogers (the pioneer of refractive surgery in Australia) at The Eye Institute, Chatswood, Sydney.
Here goes...
I walk in, 10 minutes late, something to do with delaying the event will make it less painful.
3 receptionists, the nearest one busy, so which one to go for, the one in the middle or the one at the end. OK look a bit lost, something will happen, the one at the end looks up and smiles at me. Over I wander “Martin Elliott” I say in a my ‘I am not really nervous’ voice.
I get another smile as she taps away at the keyboard, “can you confirm what you are here for” she asks – sure I can I am here to get my eyes zapped with your laser, a few more questions as to my date of birth and address, the name of the doctor I have chosen to entrust my future sight or complete lack thereof to and I am in.
She politely asks for payment in advance, seems sensible to me, if all goes wrong, I would not be able to see to sign the credit card slip now would I?
She then proceeds to spell my surname wrongly, so I correct her, she says I suppose lots of people do that, I tell her only those who hate me spell it wrong – fortunately she understood my strange sense of humour and we strike up a conversation about names.
She then tells me that Valium is offered up front (maybe that attempt at humour was too much after all) – I ask if it is recommended, she informs me it is a mild dose, but helps to calm patients down. Well, being one who does not like needles, and breaks out in a cold sweat just thinking about the dentist, it does not take me long to say “hell yes, drug me up”.
I also get told that I will receive a hat and sunglasses at the end – my brain wanders and I start thinking of a floppy beach hat – what am I going to do with a floppy beach hat? Will I have to wear it for a week? I guess I am going to look real funny in a beach hat, but it could be a talking point. I am invited to take a seat and informed that there is tea, coffee and toilets available. I cannot help myself, I ask if she has any other drugs on offer apart from Valium and coffee, I enquire about a wine dispenser, sadly no wine. Time to behave, so I take a seat.
Looking at that coffee machine, real coffee beans, quality stuff, I simply can’t get my head around having coffee with a Valium, I know Valium is to calm you down, coffee on the other hand perks you up – I decide to give the coffee a miss this time.
Looking round the room, there are mostly couples, I start to guess which one is in for the op and which one is the supportive friend/partner. OK new game, who is in for corrective surgery for short or long vision and who is in for cataracts or something else.
Someone comes wandering through the room calling out my name, a few seconds delay, I am still working out who is getting zapped and for what. Time to admit who I am, and the Valium lady walks my way. She explains about the valium and gives me a piece of paper explaining the things I must not do for 24 hours after taking the drug. Don’t drive a car (drive a car, fat chance of that, I am more worried if I will see at all after being zapped), don’t drink alcohol (now that is just silly, I have already been offered Valium and coffee, why not complete the drug trio). Don’t travel alone (I have no intention of travelling alone, I will get picked up and get home ASAP). Don’t make important decision (that one is easy). Don’t use machinery (well that cuts out making a coffee with that flash bit of machinery opposite me then), and finally don’t lift heavy objects (this is the easiest of the lot, I can’t remember the last time this happened).
Having duly nodded and confirmed my understanding I knock back the Valium and wait for the wonder drug to completely calm my nerves…
Time to read my book, I did wonder if I should bring a book, after all, if you are having your eyes zapped, how are you going to be able to read, luckily I had put logic to one side and brought it anyway, fairly boring book but it passes the time.
Another lady wonders through the room and collects the man and lady in the corner, explaining that they can both come through, even though only one of them is down to be zapped. That funny head net and shoe covers she has on, light blue, now I wonder if they come in other colours, what would it be like to wear those all day? Do you think they sometimes forget to take them off and go wandering down the street at lunchtime, rather like being at a conference and forgetting to take your nametag badge off when you go out.
Ian arrives (now my memory for names is quite poor, but I am fairly sure his name was Ian), calls my name and I go through to have some photos taken of my eyes and some drops put in to dilate my pupils – ahh this is the stuff that makes me sensitive to light when I get out of here. Having rested my chin on the photo machine, I am escorted back to my seat and told I have to wait 15 minutes for the drops to take effect. All cool, I can do that. I take a walk outside the building, sunglasses I brought with me just in case are in place. Someone is chatting, one way conversation, might be a mobile phone conversation, but where is she? After a couple of minutes someone in a receptionist uniform appears from the side of the building, ahh a little hideaway, is this where the receptionists go for sneaky fag breaks out of sight of the general public, I am tempted to peek round the corner, but there is not a big entrance way and she is hanging around there, it might be a bit strange to go over to her and check for more receptionists. Time to go back in so Ian does not think I decided to run out on him.
Where are all the people gone, only one person left in the waiting room, time to read a bit more of that book.
There is Ian, he is looking at me, through I go again.
Out comes the hair net and shoe covering, this time for me to wear – mmm I am now going to look just as silly as those staff members wandering around in their light blue fashion accessories – what if I want to use the toilet? Do I take the shoe coverings off, or do the toilets have carpet (now why am I thinking about carpet, I suppose I am wondering if the floors are dry and clean, maybe I should ask) ok, I decide I will not use the toilet, too much to think about.
This time he has a marker pen in his hand and explains to me that he is going to put 2 marks on the whites of each eye before taking more photos. Chin on the chin rest and I get more photos done, more drops in the eyes and my eyelids swabbed with a disinfectant – now this is good, Ian is really friendly, he explains everything he is doing and why he is doing it, I get a good feeling that he has swabbed the skin around my eyes, I start to get the feeling they know what they are doing here, the caution taken by them is reassuring.
Ian takes me back to the waiting room and explains I will soon go through to get a flap cut on the eye and then wait in another waiting room for the final procedure.
So which seat to take, so much choice, I think time for musical chairs and I go for a seat near to the door I just came out of.
Out comes the book, hey, good idea this bring a book thing.
Back comes Ian, I ask to bring my jacket and book with me, I use my jacket as a handbag to store my wallet, keys and other bits, as I was going to be in another waiting room, seems logical to keep it with me.
Ian tells me he will look after my book for me and advises me to put my jacket on as it is quite cold in the next room – ok, he has missed the point, I am not going to get cold, in fact I do not want to put my jacket on, in fact I would like him to look after my jacket as well as my book, in fact why did I not just give my jacket and book to that nice girl on reception?
I am nervous enough, if I put on my jacket my armpits will sweat, no Ian, I want you to take my jacket… I put my jacket on as Ian advised me (now why did I do that, why did I not just tell him, where has my brain gone?)
I follow Ian into a room with a strange machine and a bench to lie on, I lie down and position myself – still wearing my bloody jacket! – what is wrong with me!
Ian then proceeds to place a blanket over me and explains it is a cold room.
Now this is just too much, sweet will begin pouring off me at any moment!
I explain to Ian that I do not want the blanket as I do not feel the cold much - disaster avoided, he takes the blanket off (why am I still wearing this bloody jacket).
Ian explains the doctor will be in soon to “cut the slice” – all goes quiet, wiggle feet, yup, feet still working, wiggle fingers, all ok there, hey, it’s chilly in here, that blanket would have been a good idea, tummy getting cold, should I do my jacket up – nah, might get too hot, moments go by, my tummy is chilly now – maybe Ian did know what he was talking about after all…
Door opens and in comes a lady who sais something to me, haven’t a clue what she said, I am off in my own would thinking about my chilly tummy. 2 other figures follow her in, I keep looking up into this strange machine as the doctor explains the procedure and what I will feel.
Right eye propped open, mmm that is not so bad, the machine goes to work and within a few seconds a flap is cut – no problem, not half as bad as the dentist… I am told it is done and now to the left eye.
Ok I can deal with this, just as the doctor starts to prop open the left eye he starts to talk through the procedure with the other figure who walked in – nooooooooo I think, don’t chat, concentrate on me. The left eye takes longer as the doctor talks through the procedure to the other mystery figure – look, if I wanted to be the subject of a training exercise I would have told you, get that other guy out of here, I really am not interested…It is rather like complaining about food in a restaurant, do I **** off the chef and risk foreign bodies unknown in the food, or do I accept it as it is. I am guessing I should not **** off the person cutting away at my eyes…
It did not hurt, it was a little uncomfortable, but only a little. It was all very quick.
They all walk out and Ian escorts me to the ‘inner waiting room’ was it Ian or was it that girl who took my book, I am off in my own little world again. No, it was Ian, because he told me that was the worst bit over (or did he tell me that when I was in the waiting room – yes looks like I was off in my own little world, on shut down to prevent mad panic). How reassuring I thought, that last bit was a breeze, if Ian said that was the worst bit over, this is well cool. Only later did I find out, Ian is a big liar.
Sitting in the ‘inner’ waiting room, that had 3 seats, 3 seats that is reassuring, cannot be a long wait, otherwise they would need more seats to stack them and rack them, Ian came back to check on me and advice me to keep my eyes lightly closed, I plucked up my courage, puffed out my chest and blurted out “please can you take my jacket and put it with my book, I REALLY don’t want it with me” – my braveness was rewarded and Ian came to the rescue taking away my jacket, as I breathed a sigh of relief.
It was a pleasant enough waiting room, with the 3 seats and just me there – they played comforting music – for 3 minutes, this is fine, for 15 minutes comforting music can drive you CRAZY, I really should have brought that walkman with me. Someone else was shown to the seat next to mine, well I suppose there was no choice to be seated next to me as I had chosen the seat in the middle. Ian said much the same to her as well, I guess he has a tape recorder in his pocket and moves his mouth in time to the recording, if not, he should, it could be quite efficient.
My 15 minutes were up, I am told it is to give time for any gasses to escape from the slice in the eye, so it is ready to be corrected with the laser. No pain as yet, feeling good – Maybe that Valium works after all, coupled with the drops they put in my eyes to prevent pain.
Ian takes me into the next room with reassuring words, I like this guy Ian, he is making the process work and explains things well.
I lie down (no jacket this time, woo hoo, I am on a winner).
In come the people and the doctor explains what is going to happen (this is cool, they really care) more drops in the eyes to prevent pain.
OK right eye first. My eyelashes are taped to open up my eye. I am told to stare at the red light – which one, there is a dot and 2 moving shaky multi-star like red lights, I start to look at the shaky one on the right, then the shaky one on the left, I am told by the doctor I am tracking and to concentrate on the red light!!! So many red lights, my voice fails me, so I cannot ask, I decide to go for the dot in the middle, this seems to appease the doctor. (I was told by my friend Brad that you had to look at the red dot, so something in the back of my brain remembers this and the dot it is… - if ever you get this done and they say look at the red light… go for the dot…)
The doctor then pulls back the flap, a strange thing to see happen, then the laser gets going, a burning smell and a mild discomfort (I say mild, it was mild, but a hell of a lot worse that the previous cutting of the flap – at this point I decided Ian was a very big liar – worst bit over indeed – Ian you lie), I was expecting 20 minutes of this, as that is what Brad told me, it must have been all of 2 minutes max :- ), half way through the doctor told me it was halfway through – this was good, so quick, then all done, and the flap was put back in place, again this was weird.
Feeling good now, the bit I did not like was the moving of the flap and having to stare at that silly red dot, other than that, I had a feeling I could cope now.
Over to the left eye, my worst nightmare came to light, the doctor again started to explain the procedure to the other guy in the room, hell not again!!!
Don’t talk to him, it is all about me, I am down here, forget that other guy…a whole list of words not to be repeated in mixed company came to mind, and yes the left eye did take longer. Agreed not much longer, but when you are lying there, every second counts…
A very short time later, all was done and I was taken into an adjoining room to meet up with my book and my jacket.
Now I am not sure who gave me my ‘panda eyes’ – plastic eye protectors taped into place to stop you rubbing or knocking your eyes, it could have been in the operating room, or it could have been in this room. On reflection I think it was in the operating room, but I cannot say for definite.
In this room I was met by a girl, who seemed rather bored and unsociable – strange everyone else was so nice. I could have been that I had got used to Ian, I am not so confident that my judgement at this stage was 100% as I had been in shutdown mode to deal with the surgery.
She told me my ‘carer” had arrived, immediately I thought this a strange word for my lift home, so I asked her if my ‘carer’ was a nurse and was she good looking.
I mentioned that perhaps she was indeed a ‘carer’ as she has cared enough to come and pick me up.
Maybe she did not have the same sense of humour as the girl on the front desk, and decided I was a total idiot.
She gave me a kit comprising of tape to tape up my panda eyes for the next 2 nights when going to bed and some drops to put into my eyes which she told me about, most of which went over my head at the time, but I got the general overview of it, why is she so cold and boring, is she fed up with her job?
She also told me there was a packet of painkillers to use for the next 2 or so hours and the instructions were on the packet – on the packet – you are not in the same programme as me, I cannot read it, what are you thinking… So I asked her to read it to me, I do not think she was impressed. She did however comply with my request.
She then told me it was all written down on this piece of paper which she put in the bag also. Written down! I can sort of see at the moment but no way can I see enough to read, are you mad? It is written down for a man who cannot read – what planet do you come from?
I was to find out later in the day what a good idea it was to have the instructions written down.
In this bag also came some tissues, which I thought was strange as I have 4 boxes of tissues placed around the house, so why would I need these (it could be that she has never come to my house), so I simple accepted a pack of tissues, which could always be used for picnics.
Now for the fun bit, my floppy hat and sunglasses.
I was given a baseball cap, a very nice one indeed, but where was my floppy hat, I was told I would get a hat. Here I started to think this could be a language thing, being English, maybe in Australia they call a baseball cap a hat, I would have called it a cap, but there you go, I will chalk that one up to needing to study the Australian language a bit more.
I’m ready, give me my sunglasses now, well cool, a spare pair.
Life does not always run smooth, I was informed that they had run out of sunglasses so they would not be giving me a pair – what! No sunglasses!
Well ok, I can understand, and I did bring a pair with me just in case, so I was covered, but when she started to explain they were due in today and had not arrived, but will be coming in the near future, I could not help to wonder why I was being told this useless information, coming in the near future? Are you going to mail them to me? – no obviously not. Why are you twittering on?
My thoughts turned to ‘do I really care’ I was told I get sunglasses, can I have 2 hats/caps or do I miss out all together. Do you really care, I do not think so.
I decided I did not like this girl and went into ok mode, ok, ok ,ok (get me out of here).
I was shown through to (or should I say, pointed towards) reception and met my ‘carer’. On waiting for the lift to the ground floor, we had a conversation about Pandas and why they appear clumsy, we worked out it was because the have blurred vision, like myself right now, the receptionist I first met seemed amused by our banter and wished me well – at least I am fairly sure through my limited vision that the signals she was directing at me were “friendly fire” and there was a smile on her face.
All good so far. In at 9:40 out by 11:40
It was more comfortable to keep my eyes closed at this stage, so having worked with blind people in the past, I went into blind mode and closed my eyes, instructing my ‘carer’ on how to effectively ‘guide’ me. This worked well.
Only once did she walk me into a recycling bin, and only on the final flight of steps to my front door did she abandon the ‘offering me her left elbow trick’ and go for her own version, which entailed holding my hand and dragging me behind her up the steps (warning bells went off, what is the best way to fall, flower bed to the left, so fall right if I have to [walls are better to fall into in Australia, less spiders and other creatures who bite when disturbed, I really do not want to go to hospital and get anti-venom injections, not now], knees first I decide, less painful to heal than hands, protect the face if I fall, don’t knock those eyes) stop I shout out to my enthusiastic helper who can see the front door now and is speeding up. She stops and we make it up the steps in a more conventional (leading the blind) manner, diaster avoided.
We got in the house and my ‘carer’ had takeaway food ready for us, which I ate, occasionally half opening my eyes (I thought meatballs and rice were a strange combination, though it was easy to eat and I did not feel up to cooking at the time). Did I take the pain killers? – hell yes, to be honest there is very little pain, just a bit of discomfort and it is better to keep the eyes closed for a while.
1 hour went by and my ‘carer’ left, I snoozed for 2 ½ hours and then took the other 2 painkillers – just in case. I am not going to be a hero here…
Time now 4:30, I was supposed to put drops in my eyes every 2 ½ hours, so I phoned up 3 friends to see if they could help, not possible, so tried myself, after several attempts, wet cheeks and a wet ear , I got the drops in.
By 5:30 pm, all was feeling good, so I turned on the tele, and yes, I could see pretty good, even with the plastic panda shields on. Very minor, if any, discomfort.
At 6:10 “The Bourne Supremacy” came on, seen it before, but a good movie, my ‘carer’ came round about 6:20 and we watched the movie.
By 8pm the wine came out (did they say 24 hours after Valium not to drink – who knows, wine time)
By 9pm I decided I will definitely not rub my eyes and will take off my ‘panda eye’ protectors (which I had decided by then was like those cone things they put on dogs necks to stop them rubbing and scratching around the face, ears or whatever, being as I considered I had slightly more control than a dog, I considered it safe) – wow all clear.
I walk around the room with my ‘carer’ having competitions as to what we can read and see, I won mostly, so vision real good and no pain (was that due to the wine? Who knows).
Time for bed, so I tape on my panda eyes and sleep.
In the morning, eye protectors off, and I get picked up by my ‘carer’ for a check up in the eye clinic at some outrageous hour in the morning.
All looking good, vision fine, no pain, no glasses.
So where to from here, drops for one week 4 times a day, to ensure no complications, 2 more nights wearing the eye protectors just in case. No sports or dancing for 1 week, in case the eyes get knocked. No swimming for 4 weeks.
I had been prepared to be a bit out of it for one week, what happened was, all was cool after a few hours and vision good, in fact the very next day, mid morning I got a call and drove the car for one hour to meet up with someone and do a property deal. No undue glare, all cool even in the typical Aussie sunlight.
As to the Laser treatment, I was hesitant, as I thought it a bit extravagant, in the end I saw it as a small treat to myself.
Would I recommend it to others, a big yes on that one.
Marty
So I wrote down my experience straight away, to ensure it was as factual as possible.
It is a very long post, so if you are easily bored, stop here :flower:
If others have had it done and their experience was different, or even the same, it would be interesting to hear from you.
If you are thinking of having it done, have a read and reply with any questions :grin:
Treatment done Thursday 13th October 2005 by Chris Rogers (the pioneer of refractive surgery in Australia) at The Eye Institute, Chatswood, Sydney.
Here goes...
I walk in, 10 minutes late, something to do with delaying the event will make it less painful.
3 receptionists, the nearest one busy, so which one to go for, the one in the middle or the one at the end. OK look a bit lost, something will happen, the one at the end looks up and smiles at me. Over I wander “Martin Elliott” I say in a my ‘I am not really nervous’ voice.
I get another smile as she taps away at the keyboard, “can you confirm what you are here for” she asks – sure I can I am here to get my eyes zapped with your laser, a few more questions as to my date of birth and address, the name of the doctor I have chosen to entrust my future sight or complete lack thereof to and I am in.
She politely asks for payment in advance, seems sensible to me, if all goes wrong, I would not be able to see to sign the credit card slip now would I?
She then proceeds to spell my surname wrongly, so I correct her, she says I suppose lots of people do that, I tell her only those who hate me spell it wrong – fortunately she understood my strange sense of humour and we strike up a conversation about names.
She then tells me that Valium is offered up front (maybe that attempt at humour was too much after all) – I ask if it is recommended, she informs me it is a mild dose, but helps to calm patients down. Well, being one who does not like needles, and breaks out in a cold sweat just thinking about the dentist, it does not take me long to say “hell yes, drug me up”.
I also get told that I will receive a hat and sunglasses at the end – my brain wanders and I start thinking of a floppy beach hat – what am I going to do with a floppy beach hat? Will I have to wear it for a week? I guess I am going to look real funny in a beach hat, but it could be a talking point. I am invited to take a seat and informed that there is tea, coffee and toilets available. I cannot help myself, I ask if she has any other drugs on offer apart from Valium and coffee, I enquire about a wine dispenser, sadly no wine. Time to behave, so I take a seat.
Looking at that coffee machine, real coffee beans, quality stuff, I simply can’t get my head around having coffee with a Valium, I know Valium is to calm you down, coffee on the other hand perks you up – I decide to give the coffee a miss this time.
Looking round the room, there are mostly couples, I start to guess which one is in for the op and which one is the supportive friend/partner. OK new game, who is in for corrective surgery for short or long vision and who is in for cataracts or something else.
Someone comes wandering through the room calling out my name, a few seconds delay, I am still working out who is getting zapped and for what. Time to admit who I am, and the Valium lady walks my way. She explains about the valium and gives me a piece of paper explaining the things I must not do for 24 hours after taking the drug. Don’t drive a car (drive a car, fat chance of that, I am more worried if I will see at all after being zapped), don’t drink alcohol (now that is just silly, I have already been offered Valium and coffee, why not complete the drug trio). Don’t travel alone (I have no intention of travelling alone, I will get picked up and get home ASAP). Don’t make important decision (that one is easy). Don’t use machinery (well that cuts out making a coffee with that flash bit of machinery opposite me then), and finally don’t lift heavy objects (this is the easiest of the lot, I can’t remember the last time this happened).
Having duly nodded and confirmed my understanding I knock back the Valium and wait for the wonder drug to completely calm my nerves…
Time to read my book, I did wonder if I should bring a book, after all, if you are having your eyes zapped, how are you going to be able to read, luckily I had put logic to one side and brought it anyway, fairly boring book but it passes the time.
Another lady wonders through the room and collects the man and lady in the corner, explaining that they can both come through, even though only one of them is down to be zapped. That funny head net and shoe covers she has on, light blue, now I wonder if they come in other colours, what would it be like to wear those all day? Do you think they sometimes forget to take them off and go wandering down the street at lunchtime, rather like being at a conference and forgetting to take your nametag badge off when you go out.
Ian arrives (now my memory for names is quite poor, but I am fairly sure his name was Ian), calls my name and I go through to have some photos taken of my eyes and some drops put in to dilate my pupils – ahh this is the stuff that makes me sensitive to light when I get out of here. Having rested my chin on the photo machine, I am escorted back to my seat and told I have to wait 15 minutes for the drops to take effect. All cool, I can do that. I take a walk outside the building, sunglasses I brought with me just in case are in place. Someone is chatting, one way conversation, might be a mobile phone conversation, but where is she? After a couple of minutes someone in a receptionist uniform appears from the side of the building, ahh a little hideaway, is this where the receptionists go for sneaky fag breaks out of sight of the general public, I am tempted to peek round the corner, but there is not a big entrance way and she is hanging around there, it might be a bit strange to go over to her and check for more receptionists. Time to go back in so Ian does not think I decided to run out on him.
Where are all the people gone, only one person left in the waiting room, time to read a bit more of that book.
There is Ian, he is looking at me, through I go again.
Out comes the hair net and shoe covering, this time for me to wear – mmm I am now going to look just as silly as those staff members wandering around in their light blue fashion accessories – what if I want to use the toilet? Do I take the shoe coverings off, or do the toilets have carpet (now why am I thinking about carpet, I suppose I am wondering if the floors are dry and clean, maybe I should ask) ok, I decide I will not use the toilet, too much to think about.
This time he has a marker pen in his hand and explains to me that he is going to put 2 marks on the whites of each eye before taking more photos. Chin on the chin rest and I get more photos done, more drops in the eyes and my eyelids swabbed with a disinfectant – now this is good, Ian is really friendly, he explains everything he is doing and why he is doing it, I get a good feeling that he has swabbed the skin around my eyes, I start to get the feeling they know what they are doing here, the caution taken by them is reassuring.
Ian takes me back to the waiting room and explains I will soon go through to get a flap cut on the eye and then wait in another waiting room for the final procedure.
So which seat to take, so much choice, I think time for musical chairs and I go for a seat near to the door I just came out of.
Out comes the book, hey, good idea this bring a book thing.
Back comes Ian, I ask to bring my jacket and book with me, I use my jacket as a handbag to store my wallet, keys and other bits, as I was going to be in another waiting room, seems logical to keep it with me.
Ian tells me he will look after my book for me and advises me to put my jacket on as it is quite cold in the next room – ok, he has missed the point, I am not going to get cold, in fact I do not want to put my jacket on, in fact I would like him to look after my jacket as well as my book, in fact why did I not just give my jacket and book to that nice girl on reception?
I am nervous enough, if I put on my jacket my armpits will sweat, no Ian, I want you to take my jacket… I put my jacket on as Ian advised me (now why did I do that, why did I not just tell him, where has my brain gone?)
I follow Ian into a room with a strange machine and a bench to lie on, I lie down and position myself – still wearing my bloody jacket! – what is wrong with me!
Ian then proceeds to place a blanket over me and explains it is a cold room.
Now this is just too much, sweet will begin pouring off me at any moment!
I explain to Ian that I do not want the blanket as I do not feel the cold much - disaster avoided, he takes the blanket off (why am I still wearing this bloody jacket).
Ian explains the doctor will be in soon to “cut the slice” – all goes quiet, wiggle feet, yup, feet still working, wiggle fingers, all ok there, hey, it’s chilly in here, that blanket would have been a good idea, tummy getting cold, should I do my jacket up – nah, might get too hot, moments go by, my tummy is chilly now – maybe Ian did know what he was talking about after all…
Door opens and in comes a lady who sais something to me, haven’t a clue what she said, I am off in my own would thinking about my chilly tummy. 2 other figures follow her in, I keep looking up into this strange machine as the doctor explains the procedure and what I will feel.
Right eye propped open, mmm that is not so bad, the machine goes to work and within a few seconds a flap is cut – no problem, not half as bad as the dentist… I am told it is done and now to the left eye.
Ok I can deal with this, just as the doctor starts to prop open the left eye he starts to talk through the procedure with the other figure who walked in – nooooooooo I think, don’t chat, concentrate on me. The left eye takes longer as the doctor talks through the procedure to the other mystery figure – look, if I wanted to be the subject of a training exercise I would have told you, get that other guy out of here, I really am not interested…It is rather like complaining about food in a restaurant, do I **** off the chef and risk foreign bodies unknown in the food, or do I accept it as it is. I am guessing I should not **** off the person cutting away at my eyes…
It did not hurt, it was a little uncomfortable, but only a little. It was all very quick.
They all walk out and Ian escorts me to the ‘inner waiting room’ was it Ian or was it that girl who took my book, I am off in my own little world again. No, it was Ian, because he told me that was the worst bit over (or did he tell me that when I was in the waiting room – yes looks like I was off in my own little world, on shut down to prevent mad panic). How reassuring I thought, that last bit was a breeze, if Ian said that was the worst bit over, this is well cool. Only later did I find out, Ian is a big liar.
Sitting in the ‘inner’ waiting room, that had 3 seats, 3 seats that is reassuring, cannot be a long wait, otherwise they would need more seats to stack them and rack them, Ian came back to check on me and advice me to keep my eyes lightly closed, I plucked up my courage, puffed out my chest and blurted out “please can you take my jacket and put it with my book, I REALLY don’t want it with me” – my braveness was rewarded and Ian came to the rescue taking away my jacket, as I breathed a sigh of relief.
It was a pleasant enough waiting room, with the 3 seats and just me there – they played comforting music – for 3 minutes, this is fine, for 15 minutes comforting music can drive you CRAZY, I really should have brought that walkman with me. Someone else was shown to the seat next to mine, well I suppose there was no choice to be seated next to me as I had chosen the seat in the middle. Ian said much the same to her as well, I guess he has a tape recorder in his pocket and moves his mouth in time to the recording, if not, he should, it could be quite efficient.
My 15 minutes were up, I am told it is to give time for any gasses to escape from the slice in the eye, so it is ready to be corrected with the laser. No pain as yet, feeling good – Maybe that Valium works after all, coupled with the drops they put in my eyes to prevent pain.
Ian takes me into the next room with reassuring words, I like this guy Ian, he is making the process work and explains things well.
I lie down (no jacket this time, woo hoo, I am on a winner).
In come the people and the doctor explains what is going to happen (this is cool, they really care) more drops in the eyes to prevent pain.
OK right eye first. My eyelashes are taped to open up my eye. I am told to stare at the red light – which one, there is a dot and 2 moving shaky multi-star like red lights, I start to look at the shaky one on the right, then the shaky one on the left, I am told by the doctor I am tracking and to concentrate on the red light!!! So many red lights, my voice fails me, so I cannot ask, I decide to go for the dot in the middle, this seems to appease the doctor. (I was told by my friend Brad that you had to look at the red dot, so something in the back of my brain remembers this and the dot it is… - if ever you get this done and they say look at the red light… go for the dot…)
The doctor then pulls back the flap, a strange thing to see happen, then the laser gets going, a burning smell and a mild discomfort (I say mild, it was mild, but a hell of a lot worse that the previous cutting of the flap – at this point I decided Ian was a very big liar – worst bit over indeed – Ian you lie), I was expecting 20 minutes of this, as that is what Brad told me, it must have been all of 2 minutes max :- ), half way through the doctor told me it was halfway through – this was good, so quick, then all done, and the flap was put back in place, again this was weird.
Feeling good now, the bit I did not like was the moving of the flap and having to stare at that silly red dot, other than that, I had a feeling I could cope now.
Over to the left eye, my worst nightmare came to light, the doctor again started to explain the procedure to the other guy in the room, hell not again!!!
Don’t talk to him, it is all about me, I am down here, forget that other guy…a whole list of words not to be repeated in mixed company came to mind, and yes the left eye did take longer. Agreed not much longer, but when you are lying there, every second counts…
A very short time later, all was done and I was taken into an adjoining room to meet up with my book and my jacket.
Now I am not sure who gave me my ‘panda eyes’ – plastic eye protectors taped into place to stop you rubbing or knocking your eyes, it could have been in the operating room, or it could have been in this room. On reflection I think it was in the operating room, but I cannot say for definite.
In this room I was met by a girl, who seemed rather bored and unsociable – strange everyone else was so nice. I could have been that I had got used to Ian, I am not so confident that my judgement at this stage was 100% as I had been in shutdown mode to deal with the surgery.
She told me my ‘carer” had arrived, immediately I thought this a strange word for my lift home, so I asked her if my ‘carer’ was a nurse and was she good looking.
I mentioned that perhaps she was indeed a ‘carer’ as she has cared enough to come and pick me up.
Maybe she did not have the same sense of humour as the girl on the front desk, and decided I was a total idiot.
She gave me a kit comprising of tape to tape up my panda eyes for the next 2 nights when going to bed and some drops to put into my eyes which she told me about, most of which went over my head at the time, but I got the general overview of it, why is she so cold and boring, is she fed up with her job?
She also told me there was a packet of painkillers to use for the next 2 or so hours and the instructions were on the packet – on the packet – you are not in the same programme as me, I cannot read it, what are you thinking… So I asked her to read it to me, I do not think she was impressed. She did however comply with my request.
She then told me it was all written down on this piece of paper which she put in the bag also. Written down! I can sort of see at the moment but no way can I see enough to read, are you mad? It is written down for a man who cannot read – what planet do you come from?
I was to find out later in the day what a good idea it was to have the instructions written down.
In this bag also came some tissues, which I thought was strange as I have 4 boxes of tissues placed around the house, so why would I need these (it could be that she has never come to my house), so I simple accepted a pack of tissues, which could always be used for picnics.
Now for the fun bit, my floppy hat and sunglasses.
I was given a baseball cap, a very nice one indeed, but where was my floppy hat, I was told I would get a hat. Here I started to think this could be a language thing, being English, maybe in Australia they call a baseball cap a hat, I would have called it a cap, but there you go, I will chalk that one up to needing to study the Australian language a bit more.
I’m ready, give me my sunglasses now, well cool, a spare pair.
Life does not always run smooth, I was informed that they had run out of sunglasses so they would not be giving me a pair – what! No sunglasses!
Well ok, I can understand, and I did bring a pair with me just in case, so I was covered, but when she started to explain they were due in today and had not arrived, but will be coming in the near future, I could not help to wonder why I was being told this useless information, coming in the near future? Are you going to mail them to me? – no obviously not. Why are you twittering on?
My thoughts turned to ‘do I really care’ I was told I get sunglasses, can I have 2 hats/caps or do I miss out all together. Do you really care, I do not think so.
I decided I did not like this girl and went into ok mode, ok, ok ,ok (get me out of here).
I was shown through to (or should I say, pointed towards) reception and met my ‘carer’. On waiting for the lift to the ground floor, we had a conversation about Pandas and why they appear clumsy, we worked out it was because the have blurred vision, like myself right now, the receptionist I first met seemed amused by our banter and wished me well – at least I am fairly sure through my limited vision that the signals she was directing at me were “friendly fire” and there was a smile on her face.
All good so far. In at 9:40 out by 11:40
It was more comfortable to keep my eyes closed at this stage, so having worked with blind people in the past, I went into blind mode and closed my eyes, instructing my ‘carer’ on how to effectively ‘guide’ me. This worked well.
Only once did she walk me into a recycling bin, and only on the final flight of steps to my front door did she abandon the ‘offering me her left elbow trick’ and go for her own version, which entailed holding my hand and dragging me behind her up the steps (warning bells went off, what is the best way to fall, flower bed to the left, so fall right if I have to [walls are better to fall into in Australia, less spiders and other creatures who bite when disturbed, I really do not want to go to hospital and get anti-venom injections, not now], knees first I decide, less painful to heal than hands, protect the face if I fall, don’t knock those eyes) stop I shout out to my enthusiastic helper who can see the front door now and is speeding up. She stops and we make it up the steps in a more conventional (leading the blind) manner, diaster avoided.
We got in the house and my ‘carer’ had takeaway food ready for us, which I ate, occasionally half opening my eyes (I thought meatballs and rice were a strange combination, though it was easy to eat and I did not feel up to cooking at the time). Did I take the pain killers? – hell yes, to be honest there is very little pain, just a bit of discomfort and it is better to keep the eyes closed for a while.
1 hour went by and my ‘carer’ left, I snoozed for 2 ½ hours and then took the other 2 painkillers – just in case. I am not going to be a hero here…
Time now 4:30, I was supposed to put drops in my eyes every 2 ½ hours, so I phoned up 3 friends to see if they could help, not possible, so tried myself, after several attempts, wet cheeks and a wet ear , I got the drops in.
By 5:30 pm, all was feeling good, so I turned on the tele, and yes, I could see pretty good, even with the plastic panda shields on. Very minor, if any, discomfort.
At 6:10 “The Bourne Supremacy” came on, seen it before, but a good movie, my ‘carer’ came round about 6:20 and we watched the movie.
By 8pm the wine came out (did they say 24 hours after Valium not to drink – who knows, wine time)
By 9pm I decided I will definitely not rub my eyes and will take off my ‘panda eye’ protectors (which I had decided by then was like those cone things they put on dogs necks to stop them rubbing and scratching around the face, ears or whatever, being as I considered I had slightly more control than a dog, I considered it safe) – wow all clear.
I walk around the room with my ‘carer’ having competitions as to what we can read and see, I won mostly, so vision real good and no pain (was that due to the wine? Who knows).
Time for bed, so I tape on my panda eyes and sleep.
In the morning, eye protectors off, and I get picked up by my ‘carer’ for a check up in the eye clinic at some outrageous hour in the morning.
All looking good, vision fine, no pain, no glasses.
So where to from here, drops for one week 4 times a day, to ensure no complications, 2 more nights wearing the eye protectors just in case. No sports or dancing for 1 week, in case the eyes get knocked. No swimming for 4 weeks.
I had been prepared to be a bit out of it for one week, what happened was, all was cool after a few hours and vision good, in fact the very next day, mid morning I got a call and drove the car for one hour to meet up with someone and do a property deal. No undue glare, all cool even in the typical Aussie sunlight.
As to the Laser treatment, I was hesitant, as I thought it a bit extravagant, in the end I saw it as a small treat to myself.
Would I recommend it to others, a big yes on that one.
Marty