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Baruch
23rd-September-2005, 12:01 AM
While the other limerick thread is fun, here's a thread for people to post their own complete limericks on. I'll start the ball rolling:

Some people will call it Le Roc,
While others will call it Ceroc.
Whatever the name,
The dance is the same -
(But we've got the best footwork! Shock!)

Or how about:

"Ceroc," it is called by the masses
Who go every week to their classes.
Whatever they say,
To me it's MJ
And beats sitting round on our bottoms.

If you plan to post your own limerick, just remember:

A limerick's meant to be funny,
Or witty, amusing or punny;
But if the first line
Has more than just nine,
You've too many syllables, sonny!

OK, now over to you!

Baby Peaches
23rd-September-2005, 12:10 PM
One night dancing at The Invercarse,
I spun and fell right on my arse,
I was flat on the floor,
Partner ran for the door,
As I lay dizzy looking up at stars. :sad:

Baruch
27th-September-2005, 12:58 AM
There was a young man from Gant's Hill
Who swallowed a nuclear pill.
His sexual organ
Was found in Glamorgan;
The rest on a tree in Brazil.

(Nicked from my former boss.)

Baby Peaches
27th-September-2005, 03:02 PM
A sports teacher from Milton Keynes
Had a taste for curried baked beans
Quite often he'd blast
Pupils all looked aghast
As his tracksuits exploded and steamed!

(Stolen from my 7 year old daughter)

Saxylady
27th-September-2005, 03:43 PM
While on syllable counts it's worth mentioning
An unaccented end can squeeze ten in.
Now, which metre's best -
Iamb or Anapest?
Nah! - just feel for the beats in the timing.

Rhythm King
27th-September-2005, 04:26 PM
A mathematician called Hall
Has a hexahedronical ball
The cube of its weight
times his pecker, plus eight
Is his phone number- give him a call.

Saxylady
27th-September-2005, 04:38 PM
A vicar thought limericks rude
profane, disgusting and lewd
but after a drop
he soon loosened up
and shouted them out in the nude.

Baruch
28th-September-2005, 01:16 AM
A vicar thought limericks rude
profane, disgusting and lewd
but after a drop
he soon loosened up
and shouted them out in the nude.

That vicar was awfully silly
For showing the faithful his willy.
His minuscule dong
Was not very long.
(The weather was terribly chilly.)

Baby Peaches
28th-September-2005, 09:39 AM
That vicar was awfully silly
For showing the faithful his willy.
His minuscule dong
Was not very long.
(The weather was terribly chilly.)

The faithful were so horrified,
The vicars wife was so mortified,
She ran with a cloot,
To block his tadge oot,
And his children just sat there and cried.

Saxylady
28th-September-2005, 01:58 PM
Oh my! What have I started?? (My boss is a vicar!!!)

Very funny, both.

Baruch
28th-September-2005, 05:25 PM
There once was a pretty young Rasta
Whose sprinting got faster and faster.
She passed out of sight
Going faster than light
Then saw her own self going past 'er!

Saxylady
28th-September-2005, 06:25 PM
There once was a trendy young pastor
Who wanted to look like a rasta
He tried growing dreads
But went bald instead
So he decked out his head with some pasta

Baruch
28th-September-2005, 08:19 PM
Continuing the "clergy" theme....

A pastor, a priest and a vicar
Wanted their sacraments quicker.
A communion cup
Meant more washing up
So now they inject you with liquor.

Tessalicious
28th-September-2005, 08:39 PM
Getting too clean again, so here's mine:

There was a young man from Devizes
Whose balls were of different sizes,
The right one was small
Really no use at all
But the left one was huge, and won prizes.

Saxylady
29th-September-2005, 01:05 PM
It’s pedants galore on this forum
From footwork to rhyme, we will bore ‘em
We could all unite
And put everything right
But we’d quibble on what makes a quorum

clevedonboy
30th-September-2005, 02:27 PM
Choosing new songs for a charity bash
I conclude that most are dreadful trash
to play tunes from the chart
I just have not the heart
So old ones I will have to rehash

Baruch
30th-September-2005, 07:21 PM
Choosing new songs for a charity bash
I conclude that most are dreadful trash
to play tunes from the chart
I just have not the heart
So old ones I will have to rehash

Well, Clevedonboy, you are the boss.
Not playing those songs is no loss.
Although there are some
You just have to hum,
Most recent chart songs are just dross.

Gadget
30th-September-2005, 09:35 PM
not all the new songs are so bad;
there are some that make me quite glad
to turn on the TV
and flick 'till I see
some almost dressed people going mad!

Saxylady
24th-October-2005, 04:44 PM
A spider crawled onto the floor
(At which Baruch rushed for the door)
but its Charleston kicks
sure wooed the chicks
who applauded and begged it for more.

CJ
24th-October-2005, 04:52 PM
An Irish dance caberet team
Off to blackpool to follow their dream
Too much booze of thick timbre
Their flight went to Camber
where, to this day, they still can be seen

Ba-doom.... Schhhh

Baruch
24th-October-2005, 05:05 PM
A spider that dances Le Roc!
The people all stood there in shock.
It showed them its spins
With footwork and things . . .
'Til squashed by some bloke's size 8 Bloch.

Baruch
30th-October-2005, 02:16 AM
A lady on Strictly Come Dancing
Was cured of a liking for prancing
By boiling in oil
And terrible toil
And cursed with a boil that needs lancing.

Arlene's poison comments are heinous;
Her scathing remarks often pain us.
She's not really vile,
Here's why she won't smile:
She's got painful piles on her anus.