Driven wild or to distraction?

[Cruella]

This is a great analogy
I have in the past likened a few lady dancers to a Rolls Royce with power steering.
I guess what this means they are perfectly balanced all the time and have 'lightning' reactions to the most subtle of leads.
the experience of dancing with them is every bit as thrilling as driving a powerful, comfortable, EXPENSIVE car :drool:
Sadly they are also as rare.....
But at the risk of using a rather male-oriented terminology, if ever there was a way of describing something to aspire to ladies....
Of course , it is well known that men describe their cars, boats ,(er trains.,steam engines......) as SHE
it is intended as a compliment :flower:

In this analogy, you are our driver!! So ladies what types of driver are there.

The taxi driver- always in a rush, just wants to get to the destination, but not always taking the needs of the passenger into account. :sad:

The chauffeur- A lovely smooth ride, optimum pleasure for his passenger. :yum:

F1 racing driver - Handles the car with ultimate precision, every turn well though out in advance. :drool:

The Bus Driver - The vehicle must need as much strength as possible to get it moving, stands to reason as it's so large, surely????? :sad:

The Learner Driver - Nervous, breaks down every movement needed to drive the car. Ecstatic to get from A to B. :)

The Sunday Driver - Wants to drive purely for the pleasure. Takes it easy, without worrying about the other drivers and their hangups. :waycool:

The Demolition Derby Driver - Doesn't care about the damage caused to his car, just wants to enjoy himself! :tears:

Anyone think of anymore?

[Zebra Woman]

In this analogy, you are our driver!! So ladies what types of driver are there.

The taxi driver- always in a rush, just wants to get to the destination, but not always taking the needs of the passenger into account. :sad:

The chauffeur- A lovely smooth ride, optimum pleasure for his passenger. :yum:

F1 racing driver - Handles the car with ultimate precision, every turn well though out in advance. :drool:

The Bus Driver - The vehicle must need as much strength as possible to get it moving, stands to reason as it's so large, surely????? :sad:

The Learner Driver - Nervous, breaks down every movement needed to drive the car. Ecstatic to get from A to B. :)

The Sunday Driver - Wants to drive purely for the pleasure. Takes it easy, without worrying about the other drivers and their hangups. :waycool:

The Demolition Derby Driver - Doesn't care about the damage caused to his car, just wants to enjoy himself! :tears:

Anyone think of anymore?

:rofl:
Excellent analogies Cruella :worthy:

I've got one...

The Drive-in-Movie Driver - The car isn't going anywhere, and he 's mostly focussed on getting his hand up your skirt :really:

The Compulsive Mechanic - Can't stop himself from fiddling and tweaking :sick:

The Stunt Driver - Extreme driving, takes mad risks, needs an audience :mad:

[Lory]

The mechanic - He's more interested in the workings of the car and what's under the bonnet that actually making the ride pleasant for his passenger

He knows what every knob, gauge, and nut are for, he's read every book about car maintenance there is but for some reason, he just can't make the ride any smoother! :rolleyes:

[alex]

Anyone think of anymore?the gocart driver- wants to be a F1 driver, but looks like a beginner

the rally driver- who needs bungee jumping to get an adrenaline rush.

the black cab driver- knows exactly what to do, but insists on talking all the way through.

the premier insurance driver- more concerned with keeping their no claims bonus than trying anything interesting

the minibus driver - double trouble is for wimps

[Cruella]

:rofl:
Excellent analogies Cruella :worthy:

I've got one...

The Drive-in-Movie Driver - The car isn't going anywhere, and he 's mostly focussed on getting his hand up your skirt :really:

The Compulsive Mechanic - Can't stop himself from fiddling and tweaking :sick:
The Stunt Driver - Extreme driving, takes mad risks, needs an audience :mad:

I've never danced with these two types. But there's time yet, i'll keep looking for them :rofl:

[Franck]

- The 'Back-seat Driver'
Not actually driving, but insists on commenting / taking control.

- The 'Commuter'
Looks down at all the other drivers who don't know all the short-cuts on his daily journey. Hates being overtaken, cut across or drivers of a better model.

- The 'BMW Driver'
Owns the road, especially the fast lane.

[Lou]

The Born-again Cyclist. Doesn't drive anymore, as he now has a far superior method of transportation - and he smugly makes sure you know it ;) . His bike can be found at many a Salsa or Lindy club. Identifiable by his black & white cycle clips.

[DavidB]

So what types of lady are there

The Mercedes - smooth, refined, but a bit soulless

The BMW - like a mercedes, but better to drive

The Skoda - everything works, but somehow the overall effect is lost

The VW Beetle - a triumph of style over technique

The Rover - been dancing for years, but still can't do the basics

The MG - A Rover that has done 1 style workshop

The Ferrari - can't wait to be let off the leash

The 4x4 - always gets in the way of everyone else

The Land Rover - doesn't matter what you do, will always come back for more.

The Aston Martin - the ultimate

[JoC]

Hmmm I'm thinking motorbikes now but that could get a bit racy...

[MartinHarper]

The Born-again Cyclist.

Does that mean that Lindy chicks and Salseras are all bikes?

[DavidB]

Hmmm I'm thinking motorbikes now
The Harley Davidson - Big, heavy and doesn't do turns (just like me :clap: :clap: :clap: )

[Zebra Woman]

So what types of lady are there

The Mercedes - smooth, refined, but a bit soulless

The BMW - like a mercedes, but better to drive

The Skoda - everything works, but somehow the overall effect is lost

The VW Beetle - a triumph of style over technique

The Rover - been dancing for years, but still can't do the basics

The MG - A Rover that has done 1 style workshop

The Ferrari - can't wait to be let off the leash

The 4x4 - always gets in the way of everyone else

The Land Rover - doesn't matter what you do, will always come back for more.

The Aston Martin - the ultimate

Don't forget........

The Renault Megane - A slightly out of proportion booty with a lot of hip action.

[RachD]

So what types of lady are there

The Mercedes - smooth, refined, but a bit soulless

The BMW - like a mercedes, but better to drive

The Skoda - everything works, but somehow the overall effect is lost

The VW Beetle - a triumph of style over technique

The Rover - been dancing for years, but still can't do the basics

The MG - A Rover that has done 1 style workshop

The Ferrari - can't wait to be let off the leash

The 4x4 - always gets in the way of everyone else

The Land Rover - doesn't matter what you do, will always come back for more.

The Aston Martin - the ultimate


Superb! :nice:
I hope I am the VW Beetle
(Driver: Richard Hammond :rolleyes: )

[LMC]

So what types of lady are there

Ford Escort - does the basics relatively competently, no bells and whistles, gears will crunch if you try to change too quickly

[Daisy]

So what types of lady are there

The Mercedes - smooth, refined, but a bit soulless

The BMW - like a mercedes, but better to drive

The Skoda - everything works, but somehow the overall effect is lost

The VW Beetle - a triumph of style over technique

The Rover - been dancing for years, but still can't do the basics

The MG - A Rover that has done 1 style workshop

The Ferrari - can't wait to be let off the leash

The 4x4 - always gets in the way of everyone else

The Land Rover - doesn't matter what you do, will always come back for more.

The Aston Martin - the ultimate

Then there's the vintage Roller....a timeless classic :clap:

[Minnie M]

Anyone think of anymore?
Boy Racer :whistle:


So what types of lady are there
I would like to think of myself as an old classic car such as a 1950 FORD BUSINESS COUPE :D :clap:

(note the lovely smooth rounded curves :whistle: :rofl: )

[bigdjiver]

:sad: ... pedestrian ... :sad:

[JoC]

So instead of asking a gentleman, 'may I have this dance?' how about singing

'a car this fine, don't pass your way, everyday, don't you wanna...etc...'

(for self-confident motors :) )

[Daisy Chain]

So what types of lady are there

The Mercedes - smooth, refined, but a bit soulless

The BMW - like a mercedes, but better to drive

The Skoda - everything works, but somehow the overall effect is lost

The VW Beetle - a triumph of style over technique

The Rover - been dancing for years, but still can't do the basics

The MG - A Rover that has done 1 style workshop

The Ferrari - can't wait to be let off the leash

The 4x4 - always gets in the way of everyone else

The Land Rover - doesn't matter what you do, will always come back for more.

The Aston Martin - the ultimate


Also, The Hot Hatchback - Sexy little motor beloved by Boy Racers

Daisy

(A Tepid Little Flower)

[ducasi]

So instead of asking a gentleman, 'may I have this dance?' how about singing

'a car this fine, don't pass your way, everyday, don't you wanna...etc...' And what would the correct reply be? :wink:

Back to drivers...

Jeremy Clarkston – He thinks he knows everything about cars, and how to drive them, and he might even do so, but it's still Jeremy Clarkston. :sick:

Long-distance Lorry Driver – be prepared for the long haul!

And cars...

Rental Car – you've only got this car for a weekend, so it's capable of moves that other cars can't manage... or at least it will be made to do moves that other cars can't manage. :eek:

Smart Car – small, elegant, remarkably nippy and capable of tight manoeuvres. Just don't mess with the bigger cars when driving it!

[filthycute]

What about the
Boy Racer......doesn't care that he's going twice the speed of everyone else :rolleyes:

Dodgem Driver.....constantly trying to make you collide with other vehicles.

fc x

[El Salsero Gringo]

I don't think anyone's mentioned 'the Bus' yet - there are turns you just can't get the damn thing around...

[Dreadful Scathe]

I don't think anyone's mentioned 'the Bus' yet - there are turns you just can't get the damn thing around...
yes no one mentioned that...except Cruella in the 1st post in the thread. :)

How about the critical driver - too busy criticising other people on the road to worry about his own driving ;)

The dodgem driver surely just needs to make sure his car has a good set of airbags ?

[Cruella]

The Driving Instructor - Paid to teach, but gets great satisfaction when one of his pupils passes their test.Sometimes would be better demonstrating than describing how to drive the car.

The Automatic Car Driver - Puts into forward, sits back and lets the car do all the work. When he's finished his journey puts it into neutral and abandons it.

[Sparkles]

I'm not sure I'm liking some of the possible combinations here... :sick:

Having a boy racer driving a vintage roller, or a dodgems driver behind the wheel of a 1950 FORD BUSINESS COUPE sounds like a recipe for disaster to me :what: .

So, what do you think would be the ultimate combination?

[Zebra Woman]

The Male Driver - Completely lost but will not ask for directions :wink:

[ducasi]

The Male Driver - Completely lost but will not ask for directions :wink:
The female driver – will not lead right (clockwise) turns, preferring to go anticlockwise round the block, turning left three times. :wink:

[spindr]

Hmmm, the shopping trolley -- will *not* travel in a straight line :)

SpinDr.

Must resist puns...
...."old bangers"...
...."newer models, with better bodywork"
...."taxis"

[Purple Sparkler]

You're forgetting: The Female Driver: Not necessarily a better driver (though this is quite often the case), but gives the car a NAME rather than just looking at the bodywork...

[Zebra Woman]

The female driver – will not lead right (clockwise) turns, preferring to go anticlockwise round the block, turning left three times. :wink:

:rofl: Respect.

I knew not to post a sexist remark ... it would lead to no good. :rolleyes:

How about the

Oblivious/Reckless Driver - Whooshes straight through the RED light even when everyone else has stopped.

The Ducati - Flash Italian thing with the knobs on the wrong side :whistle:

[Purple Sparkler]

[QUOTE=Ducasi]

Oi! That was ME. :(

And please Miss, Stewart started it!

[Lou]

The Tailgater. Always drives that leetle bit too close for comfort, despite your tendency to nudge the brakes as a warning. ;)

[Lucy Locket]

keep going you lot, this is really entertaining to read :clap: :clap: :clap:

[ducasi]

{ quoting Zebra Woman, quoting me ... }

Oi! That was ME. :( No, it was me. :rolleyes:

[MartinHarper]

The hearse. Always in black. Very smooth. Incapable of going faster than 40bpm. Identifiable by the convoy of other vehicles following her around. If you hang around her too long, she may drive you to religion.

[Minnie M]

I'm not sure I'm liking some of the possible combinations here... :sick:

Having a boy racer driving a vintage roller, or a dodgems driver behind the wheel of a 1950 FORD BUSINESS COUPE sounds like a recipe for disaster to me :what: .

So, what do you think would be the ultimate combination?
woops - wasn't meant as a combination :eek: I would prefer my 1950 Ford driven by a well experienced Chauffeur who knows how to get the best out of the 'vehicle' :whistle:

[LMC]

the Volvo driver - MY floor....

[clevedonboy]

White Van Man - attempts to negotiate gaps that aren't really there (to paraphrase Jasper - never had an accident but has seen hundreds)

Invalid Carriage - never able to keep up with the flow

Convertible - versatile and able to play more than one role. Some men feel uneasy with left hand drive models

[Purple Sparkler]

You're forgetting: The Female Driver: Not necessarily a better driver (though this is quite often the case), but gives the car a NAME rather than just looking at the bodywork...


No, it was me.

CONNECT BRAIN ELLEN!

First one- I meant to write SpinDr. Had just been replying to a PM from Stewart which is why I got confused.

Second one- You're right. But not about female drivers!

[Stuart]

I was tempted to write something about BMW drivers, who think they own the floor, but then I thought no!

[JoC]

The female driver – will not lead right (clockwise) turns, preferring to go anticlockwise round the block, turning left three times. :wink:

Where on earth did you get that idea :whistle:

[El Salsero Gringo]

How about the car with the broken shock-absorbers that just won't stop bouncing?

[Zebra Woman]

How about:

The Flash Git - Drives everywhere with hazard lights flashing (especially common around Xmas and Halloween time)

[ducasi]

Where on earth did you get that idea :whistle: Um... :innocent:

(Don't worry, you're in very good company... my Mum doesn't like that turn either. :))

[Wendy]

Don't forget........

The Renault Megane - A slightly out of proportion booty with a lot of hip action.:tears: :tears: :tears: That's me but I'm trying so hard to be a topless one... ahem.. convertible...... smaller butt and great fun outdoors.. can even be considered quite classy when driven well :waycool:

Wx

[Beowulf]

The Learner Driver - Nervous, breaks down every movement needed to drive the car. Ecstatic to get from A to B.

Thats me!!

The Smart Car - Small But Perfectly formed. Agile but very safe.

The Morris Traveller - Old and a little bit wooden.

[Georgious dancer]

Great thread Cruella!

The speed demon- always drives as fast as possible no matter what the speed limit!

[Juju]

The 2CV - never fails to raise a smile, but few people ever take it seriously.

[under par]

The old police car looks like a panda with horns on top and constantly flashes at you!! (and some might add has a pr#ck on the inside!):rofl: :whistle: